Are You Christian - 8. Chapter 8

 

 

The rest of the day Mom paced the floors. She was really worried about Jonathon. She even looked at the phone. Mom was an open minded professional, she played by the rules and stuck to her beliefs. She would have a terrible time keeping her end of the agreement and I knew it was only a matter of time before she snapped and sat down with Jonathon’s dad. I would hate to know what all Jonathon had to go through though. I had trouble sleeping that night as well. Stacey had gotten in late and she looked a little rough. It didn’t take a lot to know that something had happened between her and Adam.

 

The next morning I remembered that I left Lacey hanging. I would have to tell her whether or not I was going to that dance with her this weekend. I knew it would be a place that Jonathon would be allowed to go to though. He didn’t say anything about not going with Lacey. I took that as him giving me permission. I knew we had to lie and sneak around with everyone in this town except my family. I couldn’t see anyone else being alright with Jonathon and I.

 

“Mom can I talk to you?” I asked after I walked down the stairs to the living room. Stacey and I had worked out a morning ritual and I no longer had to race her for the bathroom. As long as she got a lot of time in the bathroom I could go first.

 

“Sure honey, have a seat,” she answered and I sat down across from her on the couch. She was feeding Grace some kind of fruit mixture and Grace had more of it on her face than in her mouth.

 

“Lacey invited me to this thing Friday,” I started and Mom nodded her head.

 

“So the mess has already started,” mom interrupted sighing, “don’t lead anyone on Christian.”

 

“So I should tell her no?” I asked not knowing what I was going to do about her.

 

“You should set rules if you really want to go,” mom explained, “let her know that you only want to be friends with her.”

 

“Then what do I tell her when she asks why?” I asked frowning. It would be easier if I came out to her. I didn’t like to lie, but unlike my mother I was able to.

 

“That’s the messy part honey, I can’t tell you to lie,” mom answered standing up. She hadn’t gotten dressed for work yet and good thing, Grace had gotten some of her breakfast on mom’s pajamas.

“Well I just won’t go then,” I said leaning back and relaxing on the couch. There would be something better to do if I didn’t go. I could always stay home and get back into my painting or something. I didn’t friends that I didn’t fit in with really. I didn’t want to be sneaking around on people that I was supposed to be honest with. I hadn’t known them for that long, they weren’t that important to me. Even if all I wanted ever since I moved down here was a few close friends.

 

“Good morning everyone,” Stacey said walking down the stairs. She was upbeat and smiling and I remembered how un-kept she looked last night. Then I also noticed the hickey on her neck just above her shoulder.

 

“Stacey!” I hissed getting her attention before mom saw that.

 

“What?” She asked looking down at me sitting on the couch.

 

“Cover up your hickey,” I answered pointing to her neck.

 

“I have a hickey,” she muttered turning around to look at it, “damn I do.”

 

“Yeah so go put makeup on it or something,” I suggested when she hadn’t moved away from the mirror. She was running her finger over it and looked like she was zoning out. If mom saw that hickey then we’d both have to sit through the embarrassing sex talk that I know she would push us to have. It would be complete with diagrams and videos. Mom always was prepared for everything. Stacey opened her purse and grabbed some of her makeup and started applying it to the spot and when she was satisfied that it was hidden she walked to the door.

 

“Ready to go Christian?” She asked opening the door.

 

“Yeah,” I answered. I stood and followed her out the door and when we were at the end of the driveway things were quiet. We heard an approaching vehicle, but it wasn’t loud enough to be the bus. We were early and I wondered why Stacey insisted that we come out here this early.

 

“I’m so nervous,” she said looking at me.

 

“Why?” I asked looking her over.

 

“Adam and I had sex,” she said and I rolled my eyes. I knew it was inevitable, but I didn’t think it was this soon. Even after I knew about their fishing trips.

 

“Did you have fun?” I asked and she looked blown away by the question.

 

“I don’t want to talk about that,” she said rolling her eyes. “I definitely won’t be going into details with you.”

 

“Fine,” I said relieved that she wasn’t. “So what’s the problem?”

 

“Well how am I going to keep this hidden from mom?” She asked still looking at me.

 

“It’ll go away in a few days just keep putting on make-up,” I answered shrugging.

 

“Not the hickey dumbass,” she said laughing at me, “the sex.”

 

“Oh, well, just don’t tell her, she can’t read minds I don’t think,” I answered blushing slightly.

 

“If you tell her I’ll kill you,” Stacey whispered then she leaned into me resting her shoulder against mine. “In a few months you’ll be in the same spot as I am.”

 

“And how do you know that?” I asked stepping away from her. She wasn’t ready for it so she had to catch herself before she fell.

 

“Well when you get close to Jonathon it’ll happen,” she said looking me over. “Mom told me all about your relationship with him.”

 

“Oh well that’s nice of her,” I said shaking my head. “I don’t know though, sex hasn’t crossed my mind.”

 

“That’s only because you’re not that close to Jonathon yet,” she explained and I listened to her like she was some sort of expert. She was sounding right though. I wasn’t that close to Jonathon yet. We had just started out in what I would think a relationship was.

 

“I have some self control,” I countered trying to think that I could handle the sex part of the relationship if it ever came up.

 

“We’re teenagers little brother,” she sighed smiling at me, “sex is going to come up and we don’t have self control.”

 

“How do you know I don’t?” I asked thinking that I was being insulted. I was always in control of my feelings so I expected I could turn Jonathon down if he wanted to move things further along that I was ready for.

 

“Because you’re in this family,” Stacey said then she looked behind her and I saw that mom was standing on the porch looking at us. She wouldn’t be able to hear what we were saying from there, but I could see that she was thinking. When she was caught she walked down the three steps and walked to the van.

 

“I love you guys, have fun at school,” mom said as she opened her door and got in. We moved out of her way so that she could back out of the driveway and we both waved at her as she started towards her work.

 

“She forgot Grace,” I said looking at Stacey. Then we heard tires squealing just around the curve out of site. A few minutes later we saw our mom racing back towards the house and we both started laughing. We moved out of her way again since she was in a mad rush and we didn’t say anything to her when she got out of the van and rushed back into the house. Mom didn’t like being caught unraveled like she was. “So what did you mean about me being in this family?”

 

“Mom and Dad had me when they were in college,” she answered nodding her head. “None of us have self control.”

 

“That has nothing to do with it,” I said rolling my eyes, “you’re so stupid sometimes.”

 

“We’ll see,” she said winking at me.

 

“You’re just trying to make yourself feel better about having sex with Adam,” I countered then we heard the bus coming. We also heard our front door slam as mom now had Grace fastened into her car seat. After she had the car seat buckled in mom was ready to leave again. The bus arrived first though and I stepped on it looking back to see that Jonathon wasn’t sitting with Matt. He had taken the normally open seat that Stacey and I sat in.

 

“Well, well,” she whispered and I stepped back on her toe before I kept walking and sat down with Jonathon. She slapped me on the shoulder when she walked by to sit with Matt. I looked around to see people looking at me and that made me nervous.

 

“So Christian, are you going with Lacey to the dance Friday night?” Matt asked and I turned around to look at him.

 

“I don’t think I will be going to the dance,” I answered.

 

“Why not?” He asked curiously, “everyone has fun and it’s really popular to go to it.”

 

“I don’t like dances,” I answered shrugging. “Not a big deal.”

 

“It will be to Lacey,” he countered and I frowned.

 

“Well it isn’t like I told her yes,” I said then I felt Jonathon poke my side and I glanced at him.

 

“No one has said no to her though,” Matt explained, “so it’d be a big deal.”

 

“I don’t care,” I said wondering why Lacey was so popular with guys at the school. It didn’t seem that she was slutty, she was just flirtatious and she had a personality that guys probably liked. She wasn’t my type though. I could see us being friends, but nothing else. That part of me belonged to guys and I was ok with that.

 

“Well lunch is going to be interesting anyway,” Matt said and I smiled at him. He wasn’t being pissy or mean he just knew how Lacey was and I didn’t. I will be finding out later though I’m sure. I turned back around not wanting to talk about it anymore. I didn’t really know what I was doing when it came to the dance. I wanted to see what Jonathon felt about it really.

 

“How are you doing this morning?” Jonathon asked smiling at me.

 

“I’m ok,” I answered shrugging. “I hate trying to figure out what to do with Lacey though.”

 

“She has a short attention span,” he said rolling his eyes, “she’ll be over you as soon as you turn her down.”

 

“So you think I should say no to her?” I asked wondering how it would look after I did turn her down. I was already trying to be careful after I didn’t sign the petition. I was also completely paranoid about what went on in people’s minds. Jonathon didn’t seem like the type to think carefully before he done things. He seemed to be spontaneous and careless. That worried me a lot too.

 

“Well I don’t think I could find a date to the dance in that time,” he said his frown going away.

 

“So you don’t want me to go?” I asked wanting to make sure.

 

“No, we can do something else instead,” he said smiling again. The idea of spending a night with him in my house was something I didn’t think I was ready for. I didn’t know what he had planned either. I didn’t know what all Jonathon had done with that other guy, but he was definitely more willing when it came to touching than I was.

 

“Okay,” I sighed, “I’ll turn her down.”

 

“Do what you want, Christian,” he countered. “I won’t mind.”

 

“No, I’ve been thinking about turning her down anyway,” I said and he nodded his head slightly. “I just didn’t know how it would look afterwards.”

 

“It would look like Lacey finally got turned down,” he said and that didn’t comfort me at all. “Which is what she needs before her head gets so big that it explodes.”

 

The bus arrived at school then and we all got out. I saw Adam waiting a few feet away and Stacey pushed herself in between Jonathon and I to jog up to him. They didn’t move from the spot though and when I walked by I saw that he had a hickey on his neck as well. Then I saw Kate as she rushed by us to get to Matt who was walking right behind us.

 

“Hey baby,” she said I turned my head and saw him put his arm around her shoulder. He pulled her into him and gave her a kiss on her forehead. Then I turned back around and glanced up at Jonathon who was frowning.

 

“What’s wrong?” I asked in a hushed voice.

 

“Just a little jealous,” he said sighing.

 

“Me too,” I said then I felt his hand brush against mine. That’s all it was and I hated that we couldn’t be like everyone else. When we entered the school we heard the bell ring so we all split up to head to our first class. There were only two more days until the weekend started and I could already that it was going to be a long one.

 

“So Christian are you coming with us to the water park?” Matt asked after we sat down in the usual spots. The class was full, every chair being used. Even when people dressed similar I was starting to pick out the social clicks in the room. I hadn’t listened in to what other people had talked about yet so I didn’t know which group did what. The only thing I knew was what Jonathon’s friends and I have been doing. I had been thinking about branching out and trying to find people that were similar to me. Especially since Matt and Gavin didn’t seem to like the idea of being gay friendly.

 

“I don’t know yet,” I answered turning to look at him. Mrs. Hansk was explaining our first quiz. It was tomorrow and I hadn’t really paid any attention to the book. She was a short thin woman with thick black-framed classes. She wasn’t old, but she dressed like it. She was also soft spoken and always had a smile on her face, even when she was fussing at someone who was too loud.

 

“Well you have one more day to get back to me,” he said and I shrugged.

 

“I’ll go if Jonathon gets a chance to,” I responded carefully. I hoped I didn’t sound as clingy as I thought I sounded. Matt looked at me in silence for a few seconds then he turned to Jonathon.

 

“You comin?” Matt asked and Jonathon rolled his eyes.

 

“I can’t come,” he answered, “we already talked about this man.”

 

“Well really, you should consider growing balls,” Matt countered laughing slightly.

“Yeah, try to grow balls when your dad is a saint,” Jonathon hissed, “see how well you do.”

 

“I know how bad you got it at home Jon,” Matt sighed getting serious, “but you’re almost sixteen it’s time to start rebelling.”

 

“Whatever,” Jonathon muttered leaning back in his chair. I thought he looked cute with his arms crossed and his eyebrows furrowed. He was also frowning and that seemed to darken his face, but his blue eyes still looked as bright as they always did.

 

“I’ll help you sneak out Jonathon,” I offered smiling, “count us both in Matt.”

 

“Well this is going to be interesting,” Jonathon huffed, “you better be really good to get one past my old man.” When the bell rang I looked down at my blank notebook paper frowning slightly. I had missed the entire review over the first few chapters. I wouldn’t be going anywhere if there are any failing grades on my report card. Mom only expected the best we could do though, but she’s already seen my best. Anything different would lead me to being interrogated, even if she’d already have a lot of theories for me.

 

The three of us walked up the hall to our Government class and as soon as we walked in we all noticed little folded cards on the desks. They had names on them and I heard a few groans behind me. We had been put in assigned seats.

 

“Just look around until you find your name,” Mr. Prestmoore said when nobody left the front of the room. I was the first one to start looking around and when I found my seat it was in the back of the middle row. There were five rows of seats with five chairs in a row. Other people had started taking their seats and I noticed Matt sitting in the middle of the rows by the windows on the opposite side of the room from the door. Then I looked at where Jonathon sat down and I wanted to laugh. He was in my row, but in the very front.

 

“I believe you made a mistake Prestmoore,” Jonathon said sounding polite. “You see I am at the front of the room.”

 

“There are no mistakes,” Mr. Prestmoore countered and I heard Matt giggle. Then a little girl sitting behind Jonathon raised her hand.

 

“Mr. Prestmoore, I can’t see,” she said then she let her hand drop slowly back down to the top of her desk.

 

“Lean to one side,” he said smiling a cocky smile. He then turned and started class and no one was really paying attention to him. His lectures weren’t very exciting as it was Government. As the class went along Jonathon and the girl sitting behind him were getting more pissed by their seating arrangements. I was glad when that class was over, but at least I was able to get a few notes onto my paper.

 

Matt and I then walked up the hall to the math class that we shared with Kate. After we checked in with the teacher we met Jonathon out in the hall and we went to lunch. Ever since we started walking Matt kept looking at me and smiling. I was thinking what exactly I was getting myself into. It would be hell if she caused a scene in front of the whole school. I had yet to embarrass myself here and I didn’t want to start today.

 

“Christian is about to tell Lacey no,” Matt said breaking the silence as we all waited in line to get our trays.

 

“What?” Kate asked smiling in my direction.

 

“I am,” I answered shrugging, “I didn’t want to go to the dance anyway.”

 

“Why not?” She asked she grabbed her tray then. She was standing ahead of me and Matt was in front of her with Jonathon bringing up the rear. I’m sure just around the corner behind him somewhere was Lacey and Gavin.

 

“I don’t like dances,” I answered and she shrugged.

 

“Well it’s the thing to do this Friday night,” she said.

 

“I’ll be missing it,” I said and she looked at me for a few seconds. Then she had to pay for her lunch and only turned away from me to do that. It had made me nervous with her studying me. Ever since Jonathon and I started getting closer I’ve been paranoid that people would figure us out. I didn’t think going out Friday night with Lacey would change that though. I didn’t want to hurt her either.

 

When we got seated at our table it was quiet. I was second guessing myself and running things through my head. Mom told me not to lead her on, but if it meant that I would keep myself hidden then it would be worth it. I didn’t have to hide when I was with my family back home. Jonathon changed that though. I turned and looked at him then almost getting an answer. I didn’t think I was ready for all this. It was him and the way he embraced me that made me fall into this mess.

 

“Hi guys,” Lacey greeted sitting down next to me in her usual spot.

 

“Hello Lacey,” Kate greeted first. I just turned and nodded my head at her.

 

“So, what color dress should I go shopping for tonight?” Lacey asked looking at me. It had caught me off guard really and I actually found myself thinking about a color before I shook my head and looked down at my tray.

 

“Lacey, I don’t think…”

 

“You’re turning down my invite?” Lacey asked before I could finish.

“He is,” Jonathon answered pointedly and I looked up to find her eyes fixed on me. I had half expected her to start lashing out at Jonathon, but she didn’t.

 

“Well why Christian?” Lacey asked crossing her arms. “No wait, don’t.”

 

“Well I…”

 

“No Christian,” she said, “It’s that slut that you, what’s her name again?”

 

“It’s not her,” I answered as gently as I could. I heard laughing and I didn’t look around to see who it was. “I haven’t even seen her since the first day of school.”

 

“Then why in hell can’t we go to the dance?” Lacey asked whining, she also took my left hand and held it gently.

 

“I’m not going to the dance at all,” I answered and she looked down at her tray for a few seconds. I thought she was about to start crying but she didn’t.

 

“You have to though,” she argued, “everyone goes.” I turned and glanced at everyone at the table waiting for someone to come to my rescue. I was hoping that Jonathon would tell her to knock it off, but he didn’t.

 

“Ok, I’ll go,” I caved looking as she brightened immediately after my response. “Shop for a red dress or something.”

 

“Oh yay!” She screeched happily, “you are gonna have a blast with me.”

 

“Either way it’s gonna be interesting,” Gavin said and I sighed.

 

“Lacey you should come over Friday afternoon so we can do hair and make-up,” Kate said then I had to listen through the two of them planning the entire evening. I would have to ask my mom for money to do all that they had planned to do. We were going to the movies, then out to some restaurant, and then finishing with the dance that started at nine.

 

“So can we expect to see Natalie at this dance Gavin?” I asked putting and end to the planning.

 

“Yeah,” he answered smiling at me, “she’ll be there.”

 

“Good,” I said, “I wanna meet her.”

 

“She’s a bitch,” Lacey said it only seemed to amuse Gavin though.

 

“You only think people hotter than you are bitches,” Gavin said smiling at Lacey.

 

“I do not,” Lacey argued sticking out her tongue. Matt and Kate laughed and that’s when I noticed how quiet Jonathon was through all of this. I didn’t have time to talk to him as the lunch bell rang and we had to return to our last few classes of the day.

 

Kate and Matt were quiet through those last classes too. They never really talked to me during them anyway. I was glad though as Math took a lot of concentration for me to work out.

 

“Hey Friday, you and Jonathon just walk to my house,” Matt said a few minutes before the last class ended.

 

“Ok,” I said shrugging, “is Lacey expecting flowers?”

 

“Flowers would be leading her on,” Kate said offering me a smile. “We all know that you don’t really wanna go with her.”

 

“Oh,” I said looking at them both. “Well see you guys tomorrow.” The bell rang then and I stood and walked out of the room. We were setting close to the door; it was the best spot in the room for the last class. We always got out of the room before the hall got too congested with people rushing around to say goodbye to people that they didn’t have class with. I smiled when I saw Jonathon waiting for me at the exit. He had another note in his hand and I looked down at it.

 

“Kate signed it again,” he explained and I frowned. I figured he got her to sign for his mother again. There’s not a good chance that she’d want her son hanging out with me just like his dad. She let her son be counseled at one of those gay cleansing centers too. We got on the bus then and I could tell that Jonathon’s visit wasn’t going to be like the other ones we had before. He was quiet and I heard him sigh a few times before the bus got to our stop. We stepped off the bus and no one was home yet. I walked with him following me to the front door and I glanced back at him and smiled after unlocking the door. We both stepped into my living room and after I shut the door I turned around to find him leaning up against the counter that divided the living room from the kitchen.

 

“Talk,” I said staying on the other side of the living room.

 

“I’m ok with you going to the dance with Lacey,” he said looking down at his fidgeting thumbs.

 

“You don’t act ok,” I pointed out and he sighed.

 

“I just hate it,” he said looking up at me again. “I can’t dance with you at the dance or hold your hand at school or kiss you before we got into different class rooms.”

 

“I know,” I said smiling a quick smile, “is this too much for us right now?”

 

“What do you mean?” Jonathon asked studying me.

 

“I mean, do you think we need to just be friends until…”

 

“No,” he answered and I nodded my head smiling at him. I didn’t want to end things either. I walked over to the stereo and I put it on a slow song then I turned back to Jonathon.

 

“Do you know how to dance?” I asked and he smiled at me, “Because I don’t know how at all.”

 

“Yeah I can dance,” he answered walking up to me and taking my hands. He placed one on his side just above his hips then I felt his hand slide up my back then he stepped closer to me. “You have to be the guy Friday night with Lacey so you’ll have to lead.”

 

“Ok,” I said trying not to laugh at him. Then we slowly started stepping around in a small circle in the middle of the living room. We didn’t have much room to move and this helped me keep from stepping on his feet.

 

“Stop looking at my feet,” he whispered and I laughed feeling embarrassed.

 

“I’ll step on them if I don’t,” I countered and he sighed then I felt his hand on my back disappear only to see it before he pushed my chin up gently with his fingers.

 

“Look here,” he said as I was now looking into his eyes. We had stopped dancing though and then he leaned down and kissed me. The slow song ended then and we broke the kiss. I turned the stereo off and then we heard car doors shut out front. It was mom and she was carrying in Grace when I glanced out the front window. “Well I better go I need to catch up on homework.”

 

“Yeah, I do too,” I responded and he leaned forward and kissed my cheek. He opened the door for my mom and she walked into the living room.

 

“Oh, hey boys,” she greeted smiling at us both.

 

“Hi Mrs. Edwards,” Jonathon greeted then he bent down and grabbed his bag.

 

“You’re leaving?” Mom asked watching Jonathon.

 

“Yeah,” he answered, “I have homework to do.”

 

“Ok, well, it is ok for you to stay longer you know.” She said and Jonathon smiled at her.

 

“Yeah, and I will for sure, but if I fail a class dad will lock me into my room everyday for the rest of the year,” Jonathon said then waved at me before he walked through the door closing it behind him.

 

“Christian, you’re going to fall hard for that boy,” she said almost gushing.

 

“I think I already have,” I said smiling.