Are You Christian - 4. Chapter 4

Waking up this early on a Sunday felt sinful. I woke up nervous about
actually going to church. It started at eight in the morning and didn't get
out until twelve. Mom had set my alarm and when I heard Stacey bitching I
knew that mom had set hers too. I did beat her to the bathroom this
morning while she threw her tantrum slamming things around as she looked for
her clothes.

"Mom is going to pay for that." She hissed after I exited the bathroom to
find her laying against the wall.

"You'll get used to it." I offered and she rolled her eyes.

"Eat shit." She groaned stepping past me knocking me out of her way to get
to the bathroom. She must have stayed up late last night. She was always
cranky when she didn't get much sleep. After I walked down stairs I saw
that Mom and Grace were the only ones dressed. Dad was in the kitchen
scratching his head drinking a cup of coffee in his underwear.

"Mom we don't have to wear ties do we?" I asked only wearing my dress
pants and a white t-shirt.

"Let's not try too hard dear, just wear what's appropriate and comfortable
at the same time." Mom answered looking me over. "Just put on a polo or
something with that."

"You're all dressed up though." I countered looking her over. She was in
a nice dress and her hair was down instead of up in a tight bun like she
always wore it to go to work. Grace had on a little pink dress with a small
pink bow looped around one of her curls.

"Yes, but I'm a woman. You're a teenage boy there's different
expectations, but if you want to dress up go right ahead." Mom responded
and I shrugged still not having an idea what I was going to wear. I didn't
know a thing about churches or the life that went along with being
religious. Mom never really was open to religion, but she knew the
importance of it. I did decide to put on a light blue polo not really
feeling into the whole suit.

"Is this ok?" Stacey asked appearing at the doorway of my room. I was
sitting on my bed looking at the fish that Jonathon had won and blushed
feeling that I was caught looking at something I wasn't supposed to. When I
looked at her she was wearing a light yellow dress that looked like it
barely covered her ass.

"What the hell do you think?" I asked shaking my head. "You better go put
something on that won't fit Grace."

"Shut up." She hissed looking herself over. "Adam is gonna be there."

"Well let's not make the guy have sinful thoughts in church." I joked and
she looked herself over in my mirror.

"I don't see the problem." Stacey sighed turning from side to side.

"Stacey dear go change." Mom ordered as she walked past. "I won't even
let you out of the house in that let alone to go to church."

"But Mom!" Stacey groaned stomping out of the room. "Find me something
then."

"We don't have time." Mom countered and I stood and walked down stairs.
Grace was laying on a blanket in the floor playing with a stuffed animal
that resembled a cow that honked when she squeezed it hard enough. Dad was
tucking in his shirt as he walked into the living room. He was going to
wear a suit. Everyone was in a bad mood except for Grace and Mom.

"This better go quick." Dad whispered sitting down on the couch.

"Yeah." I agreed sitting down on the floor beside Grace. "Maybe we
should've voted against the Church idea."

"We do have to support Mom Christian." Dad responded, "We just don't have
to like doing it."

"I guess." I shrugged slightly amused that he was talking about mom like
this to me. He had never done it before and if mom knew she'd lecture him
for sure.

"Alright now that I got Stacey into something less sinful we can leave."
Mom announced walking down the stairs with Stacey following behind her.

"Alright." Dad offered and I grabbed Grace before standing and we all
walked out to the van. I snapped Grace into her car seat that was in the
back seat of the van then I got into the seat behind mom in the middle.
Stacey sat beside me. She was still pissed that she had to change and
turned to look out the window. Mom and Dad were in the front and when
everyone was settled mom handed dad a small map that she had gotten off the
internet so that we could actually find the church and not be late. The
town wasn't exactly large, but there were a lot of churches there to choose
from, just not a lot of different religions. Dad did find it pretty easily
and it was a nice large church. We were early so people were still outside
talking to one another.

"Should we stay in the car and wait?" Mom asked looking everyone over.

"Yes." Stacey and I both answered at the same time.

"Well honey don't park where we'll be noticed." Mom groaned sarcastically
when Dad parked the van right out front.

"Nice one dad." Stacey hissed unbuckling her seatbelt.

"Sorry." Dad apologized laughing slightly. "This is church even if people
aren't nice they're going to act it."

"Well let's get out and get this over with." Mom sighed after looking
herself over in her small mirror that she had in her purse. "Grab Grace
Christian." With that we all filed out almost at the same time and I
unbuckled Grace from her car seat and held her on one of my hips. She was
looking around and when she saw mom she reached out for her, but mom only
handed her a toy that didn't make any noise.

"Hello again neighbors." Gloria greeted being the first one to walk up to
us. She had her two boys, but then her husband was standing behind her and
I looked over to find mom studying him.

"Hey." I greeted when no one else said anything. "Nice morning isn't it?"

"It sure, great day to learn about Jesus." Gloria answered
enthusiastically. I heard Stacey snort behind me Gloria did as well, but
didn't say anything.

"How are things Gloria?" Dad asked after sending Stacey a warning glance.

"Things are good." She answered smiling, "And don't worry we're all real
nice here you'll like it."

"Ok." Mom responded, "Hear that kids?"

"Yes." Stacey and I answered then Stacey spotted Adam and waved before she
walked off to go talk to him. I hated when she left me stranded with a
bunch of adults.

"Oh excuse my manners this is my husband Chris." Gloria introduced, "Chris
this is our new neighbors the Edwards." Then I noticed people walking to
the church and I glanced at my watch to see that it was time to start. I
had yet to see Jonathon or anyone from school other than Adam, but I really
wasn't looking around either. "Well looks like it's time to start, come sit
by us."

"Ok, thanks." Mom said then we followed Gloria and Chris into the church.
Stacey had been waiting by the entrance Adam had left her to go in with his
family and she didn't look happy about that. Once we were in the church I
saw Jonathon standing with his parents. They greeted everyone as they
walked in and Jonathon smiled when he saw us in line.

"Aww look at him smile." Stacey whispered elbowing me in the side. I was
still holding Grace who looked like she was about to start crying any second
now.

"Shut up." I hissed rolling my eyes.

"You know I can't help it." Stacey responded laughing slightly. "Good
luck with him."

"Will you please be..."

"You must be the Edwards family that's new in town." The preacher
interrupted and I looked at him. "Steven, Angela, Grace, Stacey, and
Christian welcome to our church."

"Thanks." Dad responded shaking the preacher's hand.

"We're divided up for Sunday school until eleven so stick around kids and
Jonathon will show you were the class is." The woman explained looking at
us. "And the babies go to the nursery."

"Oh she's really good I think I want to keep her with me." Mom countered
smiling as politely as she could. Mom was always protective over Grace. We
all were really.

"Let Grace go to the nursery." Dad pushed as nicely as he could then when
one of the Nursery women walked up to mom she apprehensively motioned at and
I handed Grace over then mom walked past everyone to enter the church.
Grace then was taken into a small room and the door closed. Dad followed
mom and Jonathon walked through the doors after him.

"Come on guys, class time." Jonathon ordered waving Stacey and I on. We
walked to the front of the church that looked small on the inside compared
to the outside. He then opened a door and Stacey and I stepped through it.
We walked down a flight of stairs and it smelled of mold down here.

"It stinks down here." Stacey announced and I gasped.

"Yeah sorry about that we've been working on that." Jonathon apologized
and I looked over at Stacey who shrugged. "Stacey what grade are you in?"

"Twelve." Stacey answered then Jonathon pointed to the door down at the
end of the hallway.

"That's your class the one on the end." He explained and Stacey offered us
both an amused look before she walked down to her classroom and walked in.
There were still kids coming down stairs, but they all knew where to go.

"Sorry about Stacey she doesn't have any manners." I stammered rolling my
eyes.

"My kind of person." He responded shrugging. Then he put his hand on my
shoulder and guided me into our class where I saw Matt, Kate, Gavin and
Lacey sitting down at a long square table.

"Looks like we got one more." Matt said after noticing me. I didn't know
where to sit exactly but then Lacey pulled out the chair beside her. Gavin
was sitting close to the wall on the end with Kate sitting beside him then
Matt was on the other side of her then Lacey was sitting across the table
from Gavin.

"Sit here Christian." Lacey ordered patting the chair the rings she had on
clinking against the plastic.

"Thanks." I offered taking the seat beside her.

"How was your day at the fair?" She asked curiously.

"It was fun." I answered shrugging. Jonathon sat down beside me and when
his knee knocked against mine I wanted to look at him ,but I kept from it.

"And you didn't come see my booth." Lacey gasped crossing her arms. "I'm
disappointed."

"Oh knock it off Lacey." Jonathon grunted, "He's not interested."

"And how would you know that?" Lacey asked completely annoyed by him
already.

"Because he has a brain." Jonathon responded, "And you don't."

"Real nice Jon really." Lacey responded sarcastically then grabbed my hand
that I had resting on the table. "We'll see about that."

"Lacey stop." Kate ordered shaking her head. "This is church."

"Oh and what were you and Matt doing out by the tree last Sunday?" Lacey
asked raising an eyebrow. The question caused both Matt and Kate to blush
and Gavin to laugh.

"Probably not anything worse than what you were doing on Easter with Barry
Sunderson." Gavin whispered leaning in close to Lacey who smiled. "Oww
shit!"

"Gavin!" Gloria screeched almost dropping her things. "You better pray for
forgiveness as soon as we're finished here."

"I'm sorry Gloria." Gavin stammered blushing slightly. The whole thing
was amusing to watch.

"Alright now I'm sorry guys, but I'm not too organized today, Pastor is
speaking on something that happened over the week so if what I teach you
here doesn't go with what he does later I'm real sorry." Gloria explained
as she sat down. "Hi again Christian."

"Hey." I greeted after she noticed me.

"Do you have a bible?" She asked and I shook my head slightly embarrassed.
"Well shoot I don't have one to let you borrow."

"Don't worry Gloria we can share." Jonathon offered and I heard Lacey
sigh. I was glad that he beat her to it.

"Thank you Jonathon." Gloria beamed, "Now please turn to first
Corinthians." I didn't listen to anything at all. I couldn't even tell you
what it was about. I knew before I ever stepped foot in this church that I
wasn't going to listen. Mom told us that she didn't really want us
listening anyway, but to only act like we are. Jonathon looked bored when I
glanced at him. He had probably heard or read every word in the bible
hundreds of times by now and I actually felt sorry for him. When she
stopped reading she looked up at everyone. "Now isn't that a lovely piece
of scripture."

"Sure is." Jonathon responded half-heartedly.

"What did you think about it Christian?" Gloria asked causing me to snap
my attention to her.

"Oh um, well it's new and uhh..."

"Gloria you know not to pick on new people." Lacey interrupted me and I
thanked her for it. It did satisfy Gloria and she didn't wait for me to
continue to answer her.

"Well Pastor wants us to talk about Abstinence." Gloria almost whispered
and I heard Jonathon stifle a giggle.

"What about it?" Gavin asked curiously.

"Well you do know it is a sin to do anything before marriage." Gloria
stammered uneasily. "So stay pure with God until then alright."

"Yeah." He shrugged and I looked over at Matt and Kate who looked pale.
Lacey shifted in her seat uneasily as well. Jonathon looked amused by the
whole thing and I didn't know really what to think about all of this. The
class did end quicker than I thought it would thankfully. I didn't know if
I wanted to be stuck in a room like that anymore. Gloria had asked me a
question and it only made me look like an idiot. I didn't care that I
didn't know anything about this, but in this place right now I wished I did.
I could almost see her judging me in her mind and that bothered me.

"How was class?" Mom asked when I joined them. They were sitting in one
of the pews.

"Hell." I answered and mom looked apologetic.

"Please don't let it confuse you dear." She whispered putting her arm
around my shoulder and squeezed me against her a little. Then when Stacey
appeared mom took her arm off me.

"Mom, I'm not ever coming back here again." Stacey hissed sitting down
next to me. "You can come and do whatever the hell you want, but I'm done."

"Stacey calm down, we'll talk about this later." Dad ordered leaning
across mom to talk. Gloria and Chris joined us and shortly after that
Jonathon's dad stood in front of the pulpit.

"Hello everyone and good morning." He started then shuffled his papers
around. "Gloria please lead us in our morning prayer."

"Alright, Dear God in heaven, please speak through Pastor this bright nice
morning and let everyone in the room be filled with your teaching, love, and
healing grace. Be with those who still struggle to put you in their hearts
and those outside the church life to come in. In your name we pray, Amen."
Gloria prayed then smiled towards us. Stacey looked like she was about to
explode and Mom didn't return Gloria's smile either.

"Thank you Gloria, but today I come here with a burden." Pastor started
and I couldn't get over how much Jonathon looked like him. We were seated
towards the front, but there were two rows of pews and he was sitting with
his mother across the room from us. "I heard something on the news that
just disappointed me and we as a church need to address it." I started
ignoring him after that and I looked to find Stacey looking over her nails.
I took out a piece of gum and when I offered one to Stacey she happily took
it. "The homosexuals cannot be allowed to marry." I heard mom sigh and
Stacey stopped unwrapping her chewing gum and dad actually let out a small
grunt. "We must not judge them for then we start sinning, but when a
country does nothing to show them their lifestyle leads to eternal damnation
I feel that the church needs to right that wrong."

"Amen!" Someone yelled and I was too afraid to look around to see who it
was. Stacey then put her hand on my hand that I had resting on my knee.
She then grabbed it up and entwined our fingers together then I looked up at
her to see her smiling at me.

"We must unite as a church and in a polite way educate the lost people of
this town and country of the errors on their ways and make them realize that
God will not tolerate anyone who sins like this." Pastor continued and my
head started hurting. I tried thinking about different things, but it was
hard not to listen to him and feel bad. I only felt better when he dropped
the subject and moved on and when it was all over I stood quickly with
Stacey pulling me up with her and we walked towards the door.

"Hold up you two." Pastor ordered politely. I let Stacey's hand go before
we turned around. "I hope you guys come back next Sunday and if you please
sign the petition banning gay marriage." Neither one of us moved over the
were a station was set up for people to sign.

"Let's go do what he says." Stacey responded offering him a smile. "Have
a nice day."

"Stacey?" I asked after she grabbed a pen.

"I'm not signing it." She answered looking over the petition. "Is he
looking?"

"No." I answered after turning to see that he was talking to Gloria who
was trapping my mom and dad behind them.

"Alright let's go then." Stacey whispered then grabbed my hand and we
darted out the front of the church. I was glad that we were the first ones
to exit. I didn't want to be part of this church anymore. I followed
Stacey to the van and we got in closing the sliding doors behind us. I
didn't say anything and I knew she was looking at me. "Christian."

"What?" I asked finally looking at her.

"You know how we feel about you being gay right?" She asked reaching over
for my hand again.

"Let's not talk about it." I hissed turning away from her. "I just want
to get the hell out of here and go back to Baltimore."

"Yeah, I do too." She agreed sighing, "But that's not going to happen."

"It is for you Stacey." I countered turning to look at her. "You'll be
out of here by next August." She didn't say anything after that and when
Jonathon appeared at the side of the van I sighed. I didn't want anything
to do with him either.

"You can't push him away or he'll know." Stacey whispered and I opened the
van door slightly.

"What are you doing?" He asked curiously. He was smiling at me and I
didn't like it.

"I'm waiting for my parents." I answered shortly.

"Do you want to come and play hockey with us in a little bit?" Jonathon
asked opening the door wider.

"No." I responded and he shook his head disappointed.

"Why not?" He asked crossing his arms. "I thought I told you that the
only way that you can make friends is to get out here and do stuff."

"Yeah you said that, but I don't want to." I countered and he looked me
over. I saw mom carrying Grace and Dad walking beside her and I was
relieved for them to finally be coming so that we could get the hell out of
here.

"Maybe some other time then." He grunted just before Mom opened her door.

"Sure thing." I offered then when she handed me Grace I stepped out next
to him and ignored him as I fastened her into her seat. "See you at
school."

"Yeah." He responded still sounding disappointed. After I got in and
settled he closed the door and stepped away from the van so that Dad could
back out of the parking lot. The ride home was silent, but it was short
which only made it worse because now I had to listen to my parents.

"Could you believe that?" Mom asked as soon as the front door was closed.

"Yes," Dad answered, "That's what makes it bad."

"Christian honey, you know..."

"Save it." I interrupted Mom when she noticed me standing there beside
Stacey. Stacey was holding Grace but then she walked over and placed her in
the play pen. Grace had fallen asleep in the ride back home.

"No listen." She urged rubbing my shoulder. "Let's go to the kitchen to
have a family talk."

"I don't want to have a family talk." I countered shrugging her off. "I'm
fine."

"Christian please." Dad begged then he gently pushed me towards the
kitchen. Stacey walked past us. She knew as well as I did that the talk
was going to happen as soon as I let it happen.

"Fine." I caved wanting to get it over with. Once we were in the kitchen
mom poured everyone some lemonade and we all sat down at the table.

"Now first how was your classes?" Mom asked curiously.

"Sucked." I offered shrugging.

"Mom, I'm not ever going back down there to class or to church." Stacey
answered crossing her arms. "They talked bad about Gays the entire time we
were down there then I had to hear it again."

"Stacey I told you not to listen to them." Mom soothed rubbing her hand.

"Well how could a person not?" Stacey asked sliding her hand closer to
her. "And not say anything about it made me feel worse like I was betraying
Christian."

"So Christian decided that he was gay?" Dad asked looking over at me.

"He didn't decide he accepted." Mom corrected "And I believe he has."

"That's good son." Dad offered then looked unnerved by something. "I
mean that you accepted, or um, not that there's anything wrong with your
decision and I still love you and I know many gay people out there and I..."

"I get it Dad." I interrupted and he looked like he was going to start
mumbling all over again.

"I love you." Dad repeated and I smiled.

"Thanks." I offered and he finally looked satisfied with himself.

"We didn't sign the petition." Stacey announced proudly.

"I noticed." Mom responded, "And so did everyone else, acting is not for
you."

"I don't care, I'd rather they notice." Stacey hissed angrily.

"Christian I want you to know that there is nothing wrong with your
lifestyle." Mom explained causing me to look at her. "I mean it's just
people's opinions and even people in my profession are against
homosexuality."

"I don't want to talk about all that." I sighed standing up to leave the
table.

"Don't look so depressed then." Mom pointed out then she looked down at my
seat. "You're not the only person upset by what was said."

"I know that." I groaned sitting back down. "I just don't like hearing
things come from people that are so influential."

"Well when we go next Sunday I want you guys to not listen to what he
says." Mom responded and I had enough.

"I'm not going back." I countered crossing my arms. "I hate it in this
damn place, I hate this house and I hate this town."

"Now Christian..."

"No Mom, I hate that you brought me here and now I have to put up what this
shit now that the damn preacher brought it up." I interrupted and when I
stopped they both looked over at me. "And I hate that Grace has to grow up
in a place like this hearing all of the shit we heard today would turn her
against me."

"It will not." Dad defended standing up and then looked down at me. "Come
here."

"What do you mean?" I asked not getting up.

"You need a hug." He answered then he walked around the table to where I
was sitting. Dad always comforted people like that after a strained
conversation. It didn't matter who that conversation was with. If he felt
that someone needed a hug then they got one. I stood up and he looked at me
shortly then wrapped his arms around me pulling me into him. I heard him
groan when he strained his torn muscle, but he didn't loosen the hug. "I'm
sorry everything is so hard right now."

"Me too." Mom whispered then after Dad stopped hugging me he walked back
around the table.

"So apologize for cussing." Dad ordered sitting back down.

"Sorry." I apologized then we heard a knock on our door.

"Well who could that be?" Stacey asked getting up and leaving us. When
she opened the door I turned to see Jonathon's dad and him standing at our
front door. "Mom."

"Yes dear?" Mom asked then stood to where she could see who it is. "Oh
hey Pastor, and Jonathon."

"Hello and call me Dave." Dave greeted and Stacey stepped away from the
door and joined us in the kitchen with the both of them following her.

"What brings you over?" Dad asked in a forced voice.

"Well I just wanted to see how everyone was doing after the move and all."
Dave responded then to my horror sat down beside me. Jonathon grabbed one
of the stools that were at the bar and placed it on the other side of me.
Stacey was leaning against the counter forcing a smile, but not doing that
good of a job at it.

We're doing great." Mom answered for everyone and I smiled knowing that
she just lied to a holy man.

Well that's good." He offered then looked over to me. "Jonathon said that
you keep turning him down when he invites you to play hockey."

'Oh did he, well I just don't want to play hockey." I responded glancing
over at Jonathon.

"It'll get you out of the house, it's really quite fun and Jonathon has a
good Christian group of friends to be around, great influences." Dave
explained like he didn't even hear what I just told him. "But I did come
here for a reason."

"Oh?" Mom asked then Dave opened up his briefcase and pulled out the
petition.

"Now I know new people are a little apprehensive about participating in
church things, but I really do think it's in the best interest of the church
if we could get your signatures." Dave responded casually. "We need every
one that we can get."

"We're sorry, but we don't feel like we need to sign that paper." Dad
countered when Dave offered him a pen. "As a family we decided against it."

"What do you mean?" Dave asked and I looked to see him and dad looking at
one another.

"We don't agree with what you're trying to do." Mom answered and I smiled.
"This family believes that to be gay means that there's just a slight
biological difference and that should not be punished."

"You know, I believe you are correct on the biological difference." Dave
responded then glanced in Jonathon's direction. "But I also believe that
people can overlook their sinful feelings and live a life as a straight
Christian person."

"Yes, but I can disagree." Mom retorted pointedly. "You can preach what
ever you want Pastor Dave, but we don't have to agree with everything you
say."

"Well no need to get upset Mrs. Edwards." Dave responded studying my mom.

"And furthermore, I believe that instead of alienating one social group
from the rest by banning a right they may be entitled to is completely wrong
and we as a whole should be more understanding." Mom continued then she
stood.

"Alright." Dave offered standing, "Sorry you feel that way, hopefully God
will change your mind."

"Don't count on that." Stacey hissed, "I believe you know the way out."

"Come on Jonathon." Dave ordered as he stood.

"Do you think you want to come play hockey with me?" Jonathon asked as he
stood up and placed the stool back.

"No." I answered then I looked away from him. "See you at school."

"Will we be seeing you guys next Sunday?" Dave asked as he stood by the
door.

"Yes." Mom answered then Dave opened the door and stepped out with
Jonathon following behind him. After the door was shut I turned to look at
mom.

"Well we're going to be the talk of the town now." I sighed smiling
anyway. Mom and Dad had stood up for me. I was just afraid of what happens
next. I though decided not to push not going to church anymore seeing that
it didn't do me any good. If mom was going to stick up for me then I could
suffer through some opinionated sermons for her.