Fallen - 20. Chapter 20 - Discussions

“Star, our time is growing short. As much as I would like to stay here for a very long time we must soon part and all go our own ways. Make no mistake my dear boy, one day we will meet again and that time there will be no partings. One day I will travel the paths of the spiral back to you and so will Lauralie, but for now we will soon have to go and there is something I need to talk to you about before we do.”

Star frowns. “Do we really have to go?”

“Very soon, dear one.”

“But it’s been no time.”

“Any time would be no time for this meeting and I am not the one who sets the rules. As much as we rail, very soon our time will run out and before it does there is something important I want to talk to you about.”

“Don’t do it Astaria,” I growl. “He’s not ready.”

“Not ready for what?” Star asks startled.

“It is not fair Luma. The boy has to know, he has to be prepared and it has to be now. You may not understand it but you must trust me in this. You have never failed to trust me before.”

“But this is different. Why don’t you leave it to me to tell him in my own time?”

“Because there is no time,” she snaps and the frown on her face is real. “This is not a situation where you can have the luxury of owning the time.”

“Why is it so important to do it now?”

“You know I can’t tell you that. I cannot influence the decision I can only make sure that he is as prepared as possible for when the time comes and it is coming sooner that you realise. If I leave it to you I know that you will not even mention it to him until it is too late.”

Star watches our exchange with anxious eyes which then begin to snap. “I think that, as you are both talking about me as if I’m not here, I should remind you that I am. Could one of you, any one of you please tell me what’s going on?”

I give Astaria a stern look but she ignores me. “Star, my dear you need to think carefully about your position on the wheel. Do you remember what I told you about the wheel?”

“No I... Oh I see. The hub of the wheel... the different worlds, yes I think so.”

“There are those who live outside the wheel. Some, like me have been trapped within it and some excluded from it to exist eternally out of time. They can touch the world and walk on the earth but they cannot become part of its essence; they do not die, neither do they truly live. They are eternal but eternally cursed to stay the same and never move on. Luma is one of these cursed beings.”

Star looks up at me and I turn my head sharply to one side, lowering my eyes.

“I... think I understand. Normal humans like me; even if we stay here for a time, drink his blood and stay young; can still go back, live a life and die. We can move along the spiral until we reach the hub and then be completely free. Luma can’t do that so even though he doesn’t die he can't move on either.”

“That’s exactly it. It is a lonely existence Star, but it can give you great perspective and a broad view of history. There are great events happening out there, most of which will not touch you here, nor even your world, but the wheel will eventually turn and the war to come will touch every one of the worlds and all in them.

“Luma has unconsciously created the core of a very powerful force. It is not something that any of you need to be concerned about now, the truth of it will become clear in time and that is a matter for an entirely different story. However... what you need to consider and to think carefully about is when you will take the decision to join Luma outside time.”

“What? Me? Be like him?” His eyes widen and he stares at me in abject horror. “I... I don’t know. It’s one thing to come to terms with this whole thing... the house, the boys, what Luma is, what he was, how all the crazy pieces of my life come together, the whole wheel thing... I can’t process them all. But... but to give up my humanity... to become... changed.” He stares at me anxiously. “It isn’t that I hate what you are Luma it’s just... just for me... to be... I don’t know. I really don’t know. I don’t want...”

“I told her Star. I told her you aren’t ready to even think about this yet. You have too much to learn too much that you need to know before you take the step, to even consider making a decision.”

“Oh but you must Star my dear. Luma doesn’t yet know how wrong he is. I do not disagree that the choice is yours and yours alone but you will be making it sooner than you think and you need to be prepared, you need to know what the step entails.”

“I don’t want to know. I don’t want to even think about it.”

“It’s alright Star,” I say reassuringly. “We don’t need to do this right now.”

“Yes, Luma, we do need to do this and we need to do it now. Trust me. Star, no one is going to force you into doing anything. I swear to you that when the decision is made it will be made by you with no coercion. You will do more that consent, more even than ask, you will beg for it and when you do you must know what you are asking for.

“Luma was placed in the position he is as a punishment. His sin was the same as mine and a large part of the reason that I was imprisoned in the wheel and he was cast outside it was to keep us as far apart as possible. However, it is possible to be ascended to that state voluntarily. There is a ritual that needs to be performed and there has to be intent by the one being ascended. Therefore it cannot be done against your will Star. If you are not fully intent on the process it cannot happen.”

“What does the ritual entail?”He asks, curious but cautious.

“It is neither pleasant nor easy Star, and I would be a liar if I told you it was without risk. When the time comes you will be infused with an essence that is deadly to the human body. It will separate your soul from your flesh. The ritual will be performed and an entity will be summoned who will literally suck your soul from your body and bind it outside time. The soul will be returned to your body which will then irreparably changed to accommodate the changes in your soul. In short you will become as Luma is, except in your case there will be certain important differences.”

“What differences?” He asks, carefully neutral.

“The attributes your soul carries back to the shell of your body are flavoured by the nature of the soul. Luma’s soul is... something that he can choose to tell you or not later, but your soul is forged from the family Draco. You are, in short part dragon. Whilst Luma’s soul was forged on the anvil of war, yours rose from dragonfire and was touched by it. Dragons too know well of war but they are also wise and their healing powers are manifest. The essence of what you are and what you will be is shaped by this. Also, part of your soul is mine and would be merged in the process to make you unique. Even I don’t know what the end result would be. But you must remember this if nothing else.”

Star has been staring at her, his eyes growing more and more fearful. He shakes his head and swallows hard. “Would it hurt? The change... would it hurt?”

“Yes Star. It will hurt a lot. There are drugs that Luma can give you to help with the pain after, but there is nothing that can ease the torment of having your soul ripped from your body.” She shudders and raises her eyes to mine. The experience we share needs no words.

“Is it dangerous? I mean... of course it’s dangerous but is it possible that it wouldn’t work, that I would never come back?”

“Yes. The process is high risk and there is a very good chance that your soul will be lost and will never find its way back to your body. If that is the case it will wander the world for a while... literally a lost soul... and then it will fall into the void.”

“Has it happened? Has that happened?”

“Not often with first generation; more and more as the bond weakens.”

“I don’t understand.”

“Luma is first generation. He was the first to whom this was done. If he performs the ritual on you then you will be second generation. You will have the ability to ascend as you were ascended and so would those you ascend. However the more you move away from the first generation the chance of failure increase and the quality and strength of the beings created deteriorates.”

“’Beings created’? I would be a ‘being created’. I don’t think...”

“And you don’t have to Star. Enough of this Astaria, you are scaring him and there is no need. He does not need to ascend. I can keep him with me as he is.”

“For how long? What is the longest you have ever maintained a human companion before they slipped back onto the wheel?”

“That’s irrelevant.”

“Really? It was three hundred years wasn’t it? The longest you have ever been able to keep someone alive is three hundred years. And how long have you been alive... seven thousand? That’s a long time of being alone and a long time to be alone when Star is gone.”

“No.” Star looks at me, his expression desperate and trapped

“Stop it Astaria. That’s enough. This discussion is for another time.”

“Yes, it is but I won’t be here to have it at that time.” She rises and brings Star to his feet with her. His mother hugs him and steps away. “It is time for us to go Star and Luma is entirely right. I had neither the right nor the business to tell you those things but you need to think carefully about them because a choice will be presenting itself to you very soon and is it not better that you make that choice in full knowledge than in darkness.”

“Star does not have to think of those things right now,” I insist. “Three hundred years is a long time with a lot of thinking and he can make the decision, or not as and when he pleases.”

“If only that were the case.” She looks at me with sad eyes and for the first time in thousands of years I am angry with her.

“Do not let us part with angry words Astaria. Drop this insane obsession and leave Star alone.”

“What I had to say has been said.” She tilts Star’s face up to meet hers and smiles. “Don’t worry little one. Things will play out as they must and as I have said no one will force you into the decision one way or the other. Go now and live your life until we meet again.” She leans down to hug him and then together the two women walk into the mist and are gone.

“Wait...” Star was so stunned by what was going on that he was paralysed and didn’t realise what was happening until it was done. “No wait... please wait.”

“They have gone Star.” I say gently. “They will not come back now.”

He turns desperate eyes to me. “I don’t understand.”

“I know, and you don’t need to. Astaria had no place forcing all that on you now. Don’t think about it Star. Put it out of your mind. It is a discussion for another day, a day long in the future when you know me better and you know my world. This is not a choice that you will be asked to make for a very long time.”

He nods but as we leave the summerhouse and begin to walk back through the maze I can see that he is deep in thought.

“Have you ever... ascended anyone Luma.”

“Only once.” I speak shortly. This is not a wound that I want re opened. But Star is relentless, as he always is when he wants to understand something... he will not rest until he gets the information he needs to make sense.

“What happened?”

“Nothing good.”

“Was the soul lost? Did it... fall into the void?”

“No but I wish to Hel that it had been.”

“Why?”

“Because the person I changed, the one I thought I loved and who loved me, left me and became the perpetrator of so many atrocities that it tainted not only his soul but those of all those he, in turn changed and the understanding that those on the wheel have of those who are outside of it.”

He thinks hard and is silent for a while. As we approach the house he stops and turns to me. “He made vampires didn’t he? You’re not a vampire, not as I know them to be. You are too... pure. But that’s what he did, didn’t he? He created more... beings and they were weakened and their souls were tainted and they became vampires.”

“They became the things that vampires were born of. They were evil twisted things like the master who created them. There is not a day gone by that I do not regret the decision to ascend him.”

“What was his name?”

I look at him and smile. I wonder if he is ready to hear. I shake my head. “Maybe one day I will tell you. It isn’t who you think.”

“So Dracula isn’t your baby boy then.”

“No.” I can’t help but smile. “If he existed at all he would be so far down the genetic line that there would no longer be any connection between us.”

“Luma... I’m not...” I turn him towards me and kiss him.

“I know.” I whisper. “And it’s alright.”

“Before we go back to the others will you make love to me... like you do to the others, make me forget for a while?”

“Has it shaken you so badly?”

“Not shaken so much... unsettled. The whole thing was... unsettling.”

“Are you sure? I have told you I would never use my venom with you unless you ask.”

“I’m asking. I want you to make me feel like Sacha did. I want to know...”

He gets no further because I lower my head to kiss him and scoop him up in my arms as he falls.

I see no one as I sweep through the door and head for the nearest room. It is the bathing room. I kick the door shut and stride across the floor lowering Star onto the cushions.

As I undress him he looks up at me with wide eyes and a broad smile. “Mmmm,” he murmurs. “That was...”

“Just the beginning,” I cut in smoothly as I settle my naked body next to his. He smiles and reaches for me. I let him put his arms around me and bury my hand into his beautiful soft hair cupping the back of his head and drawing his lips closer to mine. He presses his body against me and it is I who starts to tremble.

He is running his hand lightly along my ribs and draws out a small moan that I could no more have held back than I could have stopped my heart beating. I hook my leg around him and pull him toward me. He is smiling, I can feel it and I am smiling too when I blow gently into his mouth and his whole body shudders as he lets out a long, deep moan.

I gently disentangle his now limp arm and push him onto his back. His eyes are half closed and he looks... blurred. I smile and start kissing my way down his body. Every so often he sighs and moans softly.

I rear over him and drink in his beauty. There is not much of the amazing blue of his eyes to see but the rest of him... the rest of him is breathtaking. His skin is as pale as Bridge’s but with Bridge I think that full health and some sunshine will change that, with Star there is nothing that will change it. He is like a china doll but one that is warm and soft and filled with fire.

As I stroke his cheek and lips with my fingertips he stirs and lifts heavy lids to look at me with distant, drugged eyes.

“What did you do to me?”

“Nothing to what I am going to do to you.”

He smiles and there is still something feral in it even now, even when he should be barely conscious at all. What will it take to subdue him? I realise with a flush of heat that I don’t want to subdue him. I lower my head and kiss him, his lips soft and strong beneath mine, still curved in a smile.

When I run my fingers over his already half erect penis he gasps and shivers, as I have given him the same short sharp bursts of the energy he has seen turn Sacha to jelly. When I grasp him he raises his hips to thrust into my hand.

“Not yet,” I whisper and relax him.

Raising my head I look down into his shocked face as I send pulses of alternating stimulation and relaxation and watch his eyes glaze. I am again surprised by how much he can take before becoming incoherent but eventually he is reduced to a sweating, shivering, twitching rag doll, his body totally under my control and his mind so detached, so lost in the sensations which rock his body that he wouldn’t be able to tell you his own name if asked.

Soft low moans emanate from his lips and his eyes are rolling, as much out of his control as the rest of him. I have to be careful; pleasure can be as deadly as pain and he has withstood more than anyone except Serif and Taz.

I stop the pulses and simply continue to slowly masturbate him as I position myself for penetration. His eyes are closed now and he is turning his head slowly from side to side. Hel he’s beautiful. He licks his lips and that small gesture inflames me.

My own body is trembling as I ease myself into him. He hisses and even now reacts instantly and forcefully by wrapping legs that are weak but should have been useless, around my waist to lift himself for better penetration.

I have stopped releasing venom and as I slide slowly and deeply into him he begins to come down and his grip on my body strengthens. He shivers, bathed in sweat but there is an edge of his natural wildness leaking into his movements which excites me even more.

My movements become faster and more urgent and his breathing quickens, hissing through his teeth as he thrusts into me as hard as I thrust into him. It surprises me to realise that I am close to release, we both are. He has made me lose control and I must not let that happen. It is too dangerous.

I bend forwards, still maintaining my rhythm and he writhes under me, still gripping me with his legs

“Having fun my sweet?” I whisper near his ear.

“Bastard,” he grinds out and I smile as I brush my finger over his neck, drawing the long sticky strands of his pale hair out of the way and causing his legs to release me. Now that I can move more freely I adjust position and build up the rhythm again until we are close to the edge once. Once more He surprises me when he raises his arms and claws at my back. My fangs sink into the artery in his neck and he shudders. His hands grasp me tighter, pulling me in to him and raising himself to press into me.

Raising his head he bites me hard on the shoulder and it sends me spinning over the edge. My own release triggers his and his body convulses powerfully under me as the taste of his sex flows into my mouth and envelops me. I barely manage to maintain control of my release. I couldn’t go through with Star what I went through with Taz, but even so by the time I gather myself enough to raise my head and look down at his flushed and beautiful face, he is unconscious.

I withdraw carefully and lie down besides him. He stirs fitfully as I lick the remaining drops of blood from his neck and when I start to run my fingertips lightly over his chest he turns his head and opens sleepy eyes.

“Fuck,” he says simply. It says it all.

After a while he turns to face me and for a moment I experience a flash of fear. Have I gone too far? Slowly a smile spreads over his face as his eyes clear. He touches my shoulder gently. I hadn’t noticed but there is blood trickling from the place he bit me. He dips his fingers in it then licks them clean. I watch the pupils of his eyes dilate as he strokes the place again and this time smears the blood on his lips. I stop breathing as he draws close and I taste my own blood in his kiss.