Fallen - 23. Chapter 23 - Sam and Alex

On my way back to my suite I meet Chancey. “Is everything alright, My Lord?”

“Alright?”

“You look... upset, My Lord.”

“Upset? No... no, I’m fine. Can you bring breakfast to my room? None of us ate much dinner last night.”

“No. I noticed.” He says with a concerned frown. “Is... everyone okay?”

“We’re fine thank you. Could you just bring breakfast?”

“What about Alex and Sam?”

“Alex and Sam?”

“You asked for them to be prepared for ten o’clock and it’s ten past.”

“Hel. I had forgotten. How long have they been transfusing?”

“Almost half an hour.”

“Damn. Alright, bring breakfast in an hour. If anyone comes looking for me tell them I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

“Yes, My Lord.” I watch as he disappears and wonder again how I had never noticed what an essential part of my household he has become.

Usually I approach the transfusion suite with some level of anticipation, if not excitement. Today I am frustrated and can’t wait to get it over with. I open the door and feel guilty as hell. Somehow Sam has manoeuvred the equipment so he could lie on the same bed as Alex and he is holding him gently in his arms, stroking his back. Alex is curled into his brother’s side and he looks small and vulnerable. There is something about the scene that makes me think that maybe Bridge his right. Hel... who am I kidding ... Bridge is always right when it comes to things like this. He is the most perceptive and empathetic person I have ever met.

Both of them look up at me when I enter and there is a flash of fear in Alex’s eyes. I smile gently at him and move to the bed with carefully non threatening moves. Still he shrinks into Sam’s arms and closes his eyes.

“What’s the matter?”

“He’s afraid, that’s all. He’s just... afraid.”

“Are you afraid, Sam?”

He meets my eyes levelly. “No,” he says and I believe him.

I kneel at the side of the bed and stroke Sam’s face, running the backs of my fingers over his cheek, making him shiver. I bend slowly forward and kiss him gently on the lips. He raises his arms and hugs me close, slipping his tongue between my teeth. He is a tease this one. Smiling I lift my head and meet Alex’s eyes. He still looks frightened but there is something else there, an ember that I know can be kindled to a flame.

I take Alex’s hand and kiss the palm. He shivers and draws back slightly. I trace a pattern with my finger which starts to draw him in and the frown disappears from his face to be replaced by a more open puzzlement.

I move my finger in larger and larger circles until they are brushing his wrist and he blurs, his eyes glazing over. Sam is watching and when he sees his brother sway he tries to sit up but I gently push him back. I put Alex’s hand palm down on Sam’s stomach and place mine over it. With my direction he moves in slow circles making Sam sigh and relax.

Bending over Sam I lift Alex’s face. He has been staring at his hand and the taut body under it. As he looks up I lean in and kiss him. He sighs and melts against me. This time I concentrate not on relaxing him but on exciting him. When I feel his breathing increase I break the kiss and guide his face down to his brother’s. Sam is surprised but he goes along with it easily enough.

There is something strangely exciting about watching the two brothers kiss. After a hesitant start, when they begin to realise that there is nothing and no one who is going to come between them they relax and their kiss becomes deeper and more passionate. Sam’s hands wander over Alex’s body causing him to murmur and moan.

The sound inflames Sam who pulls him closer in to his body which writhes beneath him. It’s about time I joined in. They are beautiful, especially together. Alex trembles but doesn’t pull away as I run my hand over his back and buttocks. He moans deeply when I massage his entrance and when I push my finger past his resisting muscles he whimpers and jerks against Sam.

When I leak venom into him he relaxes and moans again and I slide in further. Sam is hardly aware of what is happening to his brother because my other hand is stroking his balls sending little pulses of excitement into him. They are both rising together. Alex certainly isn’t frightened any more. In fact of the two he is the one with less inhibition in their love making. He is both more vocal and bolder in his actions.

After sliding in and out of Alex for a while I give him enough juice to momentarily stun him. Sam in startled when he collapses across him but I distract him. Together we roll Alex onto his back, although Sam is hazy about what is actually happening. Alex is shaking, struggling back to awareness and I guide Sam down to kiss him while I thrust my hand between his legs and continue what I had started but with more force.

Alex moans and writhes as I push into him harder and harder. Excited by his brother’s reactions Sam is easy to manoeuvre as I position him between Alex’s legs. Kneeling behind him I raise Sam’s body, bending it back to lean against me as I place his hands on Alex’s hips. I guide them to stroke and massage his brother’s body as I kiss his shoulder and neck. I take his fingers and help them to tease Alex into a state of wild excitement which excites Sam too.

Leaving Sam to continue his exploration of his brother’s body I wrap my arms around his sweating body, massaging his belly and licking the salt off his shoulder. He moans and lets his head fall back against me.

“Take him Sam.” I whisper in his ear and he doesn’t need any encouragement from me to comply. Alex arches his back and cries out as Sam enters him. His hands claw at Sam’s sides before they fall to the bed when he loses the focus to continue.

As Sam slowly pumps in and out of Alex I massage his own entrance more roughly than I had with Alex and when I enter him he moans and increases his pace. Alex is moaning, turning his head from side to side, his eyes half open and his lips parted. He has lost the strength to do anything other than to ride with it.

I pump Sam as he thrusts into his brother with more and more force and when I feel the heat rise in his body I brush aside his sweaty hair and sink my teeth into his neck. The addition of my venom to his blood sends him spinning and his body jerks back against me as his body pumps into Alex and his blood pumps into me. I drink deeply as Sam slowly comes down.

When I withdraw from Sam he shivers and moans and turns his head to look at me with heavy but shocked eyes. I smile at him and he gives me a shaky smile back.

“Saaaamm.” Alex’s moan tears his attention away from me. Alex is still writhing, aching with frustration as his brother rapidly shrinks inside him. Withdrawing , Sam bends forward and kisses him. Getting off the bed I knees besides Alex’s head and direct Sam to slide down and go to work on his throbbing cock. Alex jumps and moans his hands balling and releasing at his sides.

I lift one of his hands and press the wrist against my lips flicking it with the tip of my tongue making him throw back his head and whimper. It’s about then that I notice the tears which are running down his face. Dropping his hand I wipe tears and hair off his face, stroking his cheek with my thumb and murmuring comfort to him.

Sam is oblivious and continues his assault on his genitals while Alex moans and shakes and writhes, weeping silently, his teeth gritted and his eyes squeezed shut. I wonder what could be wrong. Is he not liking it; not wanting it? No, that isn’t it; that really isn’t it.

I bend forward and whisper into his ear. “It’s alright Alex, it’s alright; I’m here now. No one is going to hurt you. Don’t you like it when Sam loves you?”

“Yes; oh god yes.”

“Why are you sad Alex?”

“Nooooo.”

“Ssh. There is nothing to fear here. What’s wrong? What are you afraid of?”

“I’m afraid.” He opens his eyes and they meet mine as he continues to gasp and writhe under Sam’s lips and hands.

“What are you afraid of?” He tries to turn his head away but I trap him and relax him with a brush of my thumb over his throat. His eyes roll and he moans a long low moan shuddering. “What are you afraid of Alex?” I repeat.

“They... said... said... said; they...they would... would take... him... him away and... and... and... alone.” His words are cut off by a deep moan as Sam does something that makes him twitch.

“No one is going to separate you here. You are going to be together forever. I promise. You and Sam will be together no matter what.”

“I...”

“Trust me.” I whisper. “Do you trust me?”

“Yes,” he gasps, “yes, yes, yes...”

I feel the heat rising and he screams as I sink my teeth into his neck just in time to feel his release. I don’t take too much from him; just enough. He has been through so much, I can taste it.

Slowly I retract my teeth to find him sobbing. Gently I take him into my arms and rock him. Sam has slid between him and the wall and has his arms around him, stroking whatever part of him his hands find. I can see in his eyes that this is not the first time this has happened and that it is not good when it does.

Carefully disentangling myself from Alex I ease him back onto the bed while relaxing him enough for him to let me do it. He sighs deeply and gives a little hiccupping sob. Kneeling again at his head I stroke his hair while Sam anxiously strokes the rest of him, whispering to him, soothing him, begging him.

“Please Alex; please tell me what’s wrong. What can I do? Please tell me what I can do.”

I hush Sam and bend close so Alex, speaking softly, hypnotising him with my voice and my venom.

“What happened?”

“The hospital,” he whispers. “They took me to the hospital and they said I was sick... in my head.”

I look up at Sam who winces. “About six months ago something happened. I don’t know what it was but... my parents said that Alex had some kind of breakdown. I could never work out how or why. How could I not have known? Why didn’t I see it coming? Why wouldn’t they let me go to the hospital to see him? He was there for about three days and when he came back he was... different. They said he had a mental illness but they were never really clear what it was. They took him for check ups every month.”

Sam face takes on a strange expression. “It was after one of the hospital appointments that we ran away. He begged me to run away. He said that he couldn’t go on; that if we didn’t leave he was going to... going to kill himself. I was scared. I believed them and really thought he was ill but he was so...” Sam shakes his head. “I didn’t know if I was doing the right thing but for a while he was happy, so relieved and happy and he didn’t seem to be ill at all.”

I nod and turn back to Alex who seems to be dozing. “Alex, what did they do to you at the hospital?”

He frowns and shakes his head slightly.”No,” he whispers.

“No you don’t remember or no you can’t tell me?”

“I can’t... tell you.”

“Why not?”

He shivers and licks his lips as if it’s hard to speak. “I’m not allowed.”

“You’re not allowed to talk about what happened to you?” He shakes his head. “Who told you? Who said you’re not allowed?”

“Them... the doctors; my parents; everyone.”

“Why did they tell you that?”

“Sam.” Sam looks up at me his eyes wide.

“They don’t want Sam to know?” I ask, surprised.

“No. Sam’s the good one.”

Now Sam’s expression is horrified. “What do you mean?” he asks and Alex starts as if he has forgotten Sam is there. I shake my head at him to silence him and relax Alex again.

“So, they told you that Sam is the good one and you shouldn’t tell him what was happening to you.”

“Yes.”

“If Sam is the good one does that make you the bad one?”

“Yes.”

“Do you know why you are the bad one?”

“I made him gay.”

“You did what?” Sam explodes. He can’t help it but it isn’t doing any good because every time he hears his voice Alex gets frightened and closes down again.

“Sam,” I say softly. “You have to be quiet. When Alex hears your voice it scares him. You want to know what happened don’t you? It’s hurt him Sam. It’s hurt him deeply and if we don’t get to the heart of it then maybe he will never recover.”

“And if we do get to the heart of it?” Sam whispers. “Will he be alright then?”

“I don’t know. How can I be honest with you and tell you it is going to be alright when I don’t know what ‘it’ is?”

He nods. “Fair enough.”

“Alex... you were told by your parents and the doctors at the hospital that you were the bad one for turning Sam gay and that you mustn’t tell him what was happening to you because he was good and he would be upset if you did. Is that right?”

“Yes.”

“And the things they did to you... at the hospital, they were trying to stop you being gay?”

“Yes.”

Sam looks as if he is about to be sick but he remains silent and I smile encouragingly at him; acknowledging how difficult that is for him to do.

“What did they do to you Alex?”

“They hurt me.”

“How did they hurt you?”

“I don’t know.”

“I don’t understand. Why don’t you know what they did to you that hurt?”

Alex licks his lips and his eyes grow dark. “I... the first time, I don’t... I don’t know what happened. I was at home and I didn’t... it didn’t feel... right. And then people came. It was... it was like a dream. Everything was... wrong. He looks puzzled, his brow furrowed but he isn’t distressed at the moment so I press on.

“What did they do? The people who came?”

“They asked me questions.”

“What about?”

“I don’t know.” Alex sighs and turns his head away but I turn it gently back again.

“Did it still feel like a dream?”

“Yes.”

“So, they asked you question and then what did they do?”

“They put me in a car and drove me away.”

“To the hospital?”

“Yes.” I raise my eyes and Sam stares at me. He knows that the real meat of what happened to his brother is about to come out.

“What happened to you there Alex?”

“They asked me more questions but when I answered them they got cross and shouted at me but I didn’t know what they wanted me to say. I was scared. Then they took me to a room and locked me in. I was so, so scared.” Tears are forcing themselves out of his eyes and he blinks them away. “I thought I’d never see Sam again,” he whispers hoarsely.

“Why did you think that?”

“Because they told me. They told me if I didn’t stop being gay I would never see him again, but I didn’t know how to stop.” The tears are flowing more freely now so I relax him again and he sighs, closing his eyes. His voice when he speaks is distant and dreamy but I seem to have turned a key because the words come faster now, without any need of prompting from me.

“Then the men came and took me to another room. I didn’t want to go but they were – big and they hurt me. I was scared. The room was... I was so scared... I didn’t know what they were going to do to me. I tried to fight them but they were too strong and they held me down while the other stuck needles in my arms and everything just... went away.

“I don’t know what happened next, not really. It was... was like a nightmare. I know they asked me questions and they told me things, I remember voices but I don’t know what they said or what I said. And I know they hurt me; they hurt me a lot, but I don’t know how.” He sighs. “It was a dream... just like a dream.”

“Did they do that to you often; when you were at the hospital the first time?”

“I don’t know. I never woke up from the dream; not until just before they let me go.”

“What changed? Why did they let you go?”

Alex sighs again, deeply. He looks as if he is on the point of falling asleep. “I don’t know,” he whispers.

“Did you feel any different when you came out? Any different about Sam?”

He shakes his head slightly. “Only scared.”

“And then they took you back. They took you back to the hospital, every month. Did they do those things to you again? Did they hurt you again?”

“Yes, every time; and in between my parents gave me medicine that made me feel weird, like the dream. They told me that they were going to separate us; that they would take me back to the hospital and they wouldn’t let me out again. They said that I would never see Sam again. They said that if they ever saw me touching Sam they would make the doctors hurt me even more and go on hurting me forever.”

Sam growls and the look on his face frankly scares me. I shake my head at him forcefully.

“It’s alright Alex. You’re safe here, you’re safe now. No one is going to hurt you or separate you. No one is going to take Sam away from you. Do you understand that?”

“I’m scared.”

“Alex, I know you’re scared but you have no need to be. It’s going to be alright now. Sam is with you now. You’re here and you’re safe and you are going to be together.”

“Promise?”

“I promise. No one is ever going to separate you again – ever.”

“I feel... I feel like the dream’s come back.” He sounds frightened and I continue stroking his hair which I had stopped because I was just so shocked at his story.

“No Alex, this is a different kind of dream. This time it’s not a nightmare. No one is going to hurt you and you know that when you wake up Sam will be right here with you.”

“Sam’s here?”

“Yes, Sam’s here. Sam’s always been here, right at your side and he’s going to stay here.”

Alex forces his eyes open the look in them when he sees Sam is beautiful.

“Sam’s here,” he whispers as if that makes everything okay, for him I suppose it does. Then he sighs and slips away.

I continue to stroke his hair and look into his beautiful, sleeping face, feeling slightly nauseous and listening to Sam weep. No wonder I hate humans. Not even the Council would inflict such needless cruelty on innocents.

“I’m going to kill them,” Sam grinds out and I look up to see him wiping the tears from a face that makes me feel proud and scared at the same time. “I’m going to track them down and fucking rip their hearts out, starting with my parents. I knew it; I should have known it. I knew there was something wrong about the whole thing. I knew they were drugging him and I thought it was because he needed it, because he was ill. I trusted them... fucking bastards; I am going to fucking kill them.”

His voice rises and he is practically spitting it out through gritted teeth. Alex reacts to his extreme emotion and stirs, moaning in his sleep.

“That is not going to help Alex,” I say calmly. “None of this is helping Alex.”

“It would help me.”

“No. Trust me Sam, it wouldn’t. What would help you is helping your brother to get well and strong again.”

“How can he get over that? How could anyone?”

“With a love like yours behind him he could do anything.”

“I don’t know how.”

“Just be with him Sam. Make love to him every day, but gently knowing it’s hard for him and makes him scared. It will take time but step by step he will get over it. If it gets too hard I will help you.”

“Do you think it will work; that he will get well again?”

“We’ll make it work Sam. I promise.”

“They hurt him.” Sam whispers, crumbling. “I never knew. He never told me. If I had known they were hurting him...”

“What would you have done?”

“I could have taken him away sooner.”

“And you would probably both be dead now. If you hadn’t been where you were, when you were I wouldn’t have found you.”

“I...”

“Don’t blame yourself Sam; don’t even think of blaming yourself. None of this was your fault. You didn’t know what was happening. You trusted your parents and that was a totally reasonable thing to do. Who would ever have thought that someone you love and trust would do something so cruel to someone else they should have loved? You can’t blame yourself.”

“But I do.” He’s weeping again, half collapsed over his brother, holding on to him as if he’s in danger of disappearing. “I knew there was something wrong, I knew it. I tried to get him to tell me. I kept on and on at him but it just made him close up even more. There has never been a time when we haven't told each other everything. I was angry with him. I...”

“Sam nothing is going to be achieved by raking over the past, looking for every detail that is going to make you feel guilty. The past is past and believe me, if I look into my past I will find plenty to feel guilty about. Draw a line and move on. Alright, so you weren’t there for your brother when they were pulling him apart... be there for him one hundred percent when he’s putting himself together again.

“We’re all here for you, both of you. You saw how he and Bridge were together last night.” I have to stop because the mention of Bridge’s name turns my stomach, making me choke on my words. Sam sees it.

“I’m sorry Sam,” I say, unable to stay any longer. “I need to go. Don’t feel that I’m abandoning you but...”

“Bridge?”

I nod and get to my feet. “Sam... Alex is going to be alright. Both of you are going to be alright. I think you underestimate your brother. He has been through a terrible experience but look at how strong he is. He’s not as strong as he might be, as he is going to be but he is so much stronger than he could have been. They didn’t break him; they didn’t change him; they didn’t make him stop loving you. Even in the middle of all that, everything they were doing to him he still knew that being with you was the most important thing.”

“Yes... I suppose...”

I lean down and kiss him. “I’ll get Chancey to come and sort you out straight away. Take Alex back to your room and talk to him. Let him tell you what he wants to tell you at his own pace. Reassure him and make sure you tell him a hundred times a day that you are not going to leave him and that he’s safe and you are going to stay with him. Damage like that doesn’t get undone overnight but if you keep on being open and gentle and let him get over it in his own way and own time then I promise you that he will be okay.”

“Thank you. Is... Is Bridge...?”

“I’ll come and talk to you later, both of you; to see how you’re doing.”

“Alright. Thank you. I’ll take care of Alex.”

“I know you will.”