Beards - 11. Chapter Ten

I walked down the street, not sure if I actually would end up at Ava’s house or not. My feet guided me and made their own way. A complete disconnect between body and mind. The rain had stopped and cooled the air. Everything looked new, fresh. Like the rain had wiped away all the impurities and imperfections and left a clean slate.

I needed a rainstorm in my life. Some big event to change everything and give me a new start. A fresh perspective. Something… something like Rob kissing me. Ugh.

I came to a stop, mind still wandering and feet already set on their destination. Ava’s house loomed in front of me. Thankfully, only her light was on. Second from the right on the second floor. Right on the edge of the balcony. I knew it well. We had snuck in there many times before. Usually with Rob by my side.

Damnit!

Twice in a few minutes. Every thought in my head traced back to him. Flashbacks of the kiss. Glimpses of his face watching me from the kitchen. Laughing at something stupid I said. He had become part of me, even as a friend. Part of my very existence.

I knocked on her window, watching as she fell off her bed in shock. Flinging the window open she hit me hard in the chest, almost knocking me off my balance. “Jesus!” She couldn’t help but smile. Even behind her rough, angry Ava exterior. “Don’t scare me like that. You know I have a front door, right?”

A smile crept across my face. Ava wouldn’t allow me be in bad mood for long. She didn’t even have to do anything. Just being around her always brought something out in me others couldn’t. “Sorry, love. I didn’t want to have the awkward parent talk.”

“I haven’t even talked to them today.” She pulled me in. “I think you would have been safe creep.” Her room looked exactly like it had for years. Posters of bands she didn’t even listen to. Piles of clothes and school books spread all over the floor. Empty water bottles littered her desk. Pictures of all of us on a corkboard by her bed. It was a time capsule of our lives over the years. Ava cautiously watched me, trying to not be obvious. Failing miserably.

“Yes, dear?” I didn’t think I was ready to talk. Ava wouldn’t let that fly. She’d beat it out of me if she had to. Literally.

“Well?” She looked at me expectantly. “What happened? I need details.”

“I don’t know. Nothing seems real right now.” Ava wasn’t buying it. Her subtle eye rolls always betrayed her. The words just wouldn’t come out. She watched and waited.

“Come on. I know something happened.” She tried to pull the truth out of me. The whole conversation felt like it would be even worse than coming out. This wasn’t just my secret. It was Rob’s too. I had to tell her though.

“Rob kissed me.” No point in burying the lead further. Ava fell off her bed again for dramatic effect. “But I screwed it up.” She righted herself and reached for my hand, holding it between hers.

“What did you do?” Her fingers felt soft against mine. Warm and smooth. “Rob didn’t say anything. Just that you two fought.”

The words got caught in my throat. Tears trying to fight their way out again. I wouldn’t let them. No more crying. I had to face reality. “I told him we were together.”

Ava punched me hard. My arm filled with pain but it felt good. Felt real and numbed the mental agony I was going through. “Are you crazy? Why?”

“Our plan.” Ava rolled her eyes. “Being each other’s beard. I don’t know. I panicked.”

“Fuck the plan, man! Rob kissed you.” Ava squeezed my fingers, emphasizing the word. Her eyes lit up with excitement and joy. Not what I was feeling. “Go get him!”

“It’s too late Ava. I screwed up.” Her face turned stern. I could see the workings of a great Ava monologue. A message of my dumbassery and how I need to listen to her wisdom.

“Bryan.” She paused, formulating her words carefully. “I understand. We don’t want people to find out about us but Rob is different. He’s not like everyone else in this town. He’s one of us.” Her voice was gentle. “He likes you.”

“But I already said we were together. If I tell him I lied he’s still going to hate me.” It was almost worse. My mind started making up crazy scenarios about that conversation. Most of them involved Rob punching me and never speaking to me again.

“He won’t.” Ava tried to reassure me.

“Yes. He will.” My temper rose as I made up my mind.

“Why? Why are you so adamant?” She remained calm. Something that was unusual for Ava. Her temper was way worse than mine. “What’s really going on?”

Tears made another push, one I couldn’t resist. Ava wrapped me up in her arms. “I’m scared.” I choked back tears. “What if I fucked it all up?”

“It’s gonna be okay, Bryan. Whatever is happening we’ll figure it out.” Ava hugged me tight. “You know me. I always come up with a plan.” I couldn’t help but laugh. “What?”

“That’s what scares me most of all.” Ava punched me again, a huge smile creeping across her face.

“Shut up, butthead. We’re going to fix this.” She seemed so sure of her words, but I wasn’t sure. All I could do was hope.