There is No Forever - 2. Chapter 2

“What the fuck is wrong him,” Jesse exclaimed with fury. Jesse and Devan sat in a corner booth in Beth’s, a hotspot for the residents of James Street. The clientele were rambunctious, full of life and energy. Their talk could hardly be heard outside the booth.

Devan shrugged. “Beats me. Got that message at 1 in the morning today.”

Jesse’s jaw fell open. “1 IN THE MORNING?! Ain’t his ass aware of the time, knowing that you would be sleeping? Let me hear it.”

“Come on Jesse, you already heard it. Twice.”

“I wanna hear it again!” Devan shook his head, pulling his phone out of his pocket and placing it on the table. Jesse grabbed it roughly, pressed a few buttons and shoved it to his hear, letting out a “grr.”

The phone began, “This message was received today at 1:07am from-”

“The nerve of him” Jesse fumed. “I practically memorized his number by heart.”

“-totaling 1min and 8 seconds. ‘Hey, p-p-pick up the phone bitch. I-I know your faggot ass is up. Got nothing to say, nigga? I oughta wh-whoop that ass. I saw you hanging around town-”

“Ugh, did his drunk ass forget you both live in the same city? Oooooh boy got me heated…”

“‘-don’t come near me. Don’t come near my daughter. Don’t even look our way or imma bust a cap in your-’ End of message. To save this message press-”

Jesse clicked the voicemail off. “He’s trash. You don’t have to take that from him.”

Devan exhaled slowly. “No I don’t, and I would’ve deleted the message already if you wouldn’t try listening to it all the damn time.”

“What? Fine.” Jesse tossed Devan the phone.

The phone spoke again, “Message deleted. End of messages.”

Leaning back on his seat and crossing his arms, Devan said, “I need a new number.”

“And while you’re at it, a home security system. Your brother is crazy.”

Devan sighed. “He’s an alcoholic, and he’s harmless. This shouldn’t surprise you. I’m over it and you should be too.”

Jesse huffed in his seat. “Alright Devan, have it your way. But if I gotta cut him, I would.”

Stefan looked up to see the sign of the restaurant. Beth’s. He walked inside and checked out the clientele. Stefan had never been around so many gay people. Women holding hands and giving each other kisses. The looks of gay men who gave Stefan the up-and-down. A few flirty smiles and winks coming his way. Stefan took it all in while trying to find Devan and Jesse.

“Over here boo!” Stefan turned to his right, seeing Jesse wave his hand. Devan turned around on his seat to look for him. Stefan smiled and headed over.

“Nice to see you again, Stefan,” Devan said.

Jesse rose from his seat. “Hey Stefan, baby.” Jesse came in for a hug. Stefan stood stiffly, Jesse’s arms wrapped around him. Jesse pulled his arms away and stood back. “I’m sorry, was that uncomfortable?”

“Oh no no no,” Stefan waved his hands. “I’m just-I don’t usually hug.”

“Oh…” Stefan’s eyes shifted between Devan and Jesse,. He awkwardly stood there, unsure if he was even welcome to stay anymore.

“Let me make room for you, Stefan,” Devan said, breaking the uncomfortable silence. “This booth has plenty of space. I’m sure Jesse would want Nikolai right next to him when he arrives anyway.”

Stefan scooted himself next to Devan. “Oh yeah, Nikolai. Is he on his way?”

Jesse scooted into the other end of the booth. “Yeah, I’m sure he ain’t too far now. So what’s been going on with you? How’s playing house with your fine roomie?”

Stefan giggled. “I guess it’s okay for the most part. We’ve been so busy with our new jobs, we haven’t had a chance to do much housekeeping. I don’t even know when I’ll be able to start decorating the house-”

“Decorate?! Now Stefan, don’t you know you’re looking at the king of interior design?”

“Umm…”

“All you had to do was ask! I can come over and help you out.”

Stefan scratched the back of his head. “Gee, you both have already done so much for us. You really don’t have to.”

“Have to? I’d love to. I can even come over sometime in the weekend. How does that sound?”

“Oh ok, umm great. Thank you, Jesse...” The waiter then came in, asking them what they’d like.

“Gin and tonic, please,” Jesse asked.

“A water would be fine,” said Stefan.

“I’ll just take a light beer,” Devan said. “Bud light? That’s cool.” The waiter walked off.

“Now onto more important affairs, like that fine man you’ve neglected to talk about-”

“Jesse,” Devan interrupted with his palm up. “Your own man will be coming through the door any minute now and I’m sure he’d feel some type of way about his boyfriend talking about another man.”

Jesse sucked in his teeth. “Would you get off my dick, Devan? I mean, can I at least ask if he’s seeing someone?”

“Oh yeah,” Stefan said, “he’s actually been seeing someone for awhile now.”

Jesse hummed. “Do tell? How long have him and this chick been going out?”

Stefan looked at the ceiling. “Hmm...I’d say about ten years now.”

“TEN YEARS,” they both exclaimed.

“Yeah, ten years...on and off of course.”

“Where is this girlfriend now?” Devan asked.

“Umm, still back home.” Jesse regarded the story as the oddest conundrum he’s ever heard. But Devan...

“Wait,” Devan said, “I hate to get in your business Stefan, but if Chris is currently in a long term relationship with this mystery woman, why is he living here in this city with YOU?” Stefan’s eyes began moving around nervously. Jesse looked like he was still putting the pieces together.

“And hold on homegirl,” Jesse spoke, “how old are you again?”

“Well uhh, twenty five,” Stefan stuttered.

“Now refresh my memory. Didn’t you say you’ve been knowing this dude since high school?” Stefan looked visibly uncomfortable, playing with his fingers and wishing he wasn’t at the table. Devan, however, was relentless.

“That’s right,” Devan said as though having an epiphany. “Stefan, are you...and Chris…?

Stefan became panicky and wanted nothing, but to end the interrogation. “Okay okay, you got me. I don’t think I’m doing too good of a job keeping this secret. Chris and I aren’t just roommates...We’ve been dating on and off since high school.”

“Mmm, that’s a lifetime in gay years boo,” Jessie said in awe.

“I figured you two were something more!” Devan exclaimed. “What else can be concluded seeing two men move into the gayest part of this city?”

“Hey,” Stefan said, raising his voice for the first time in their company. At first, Devan and Jesse seemed taken aback, only to notice the grin on Stefan’s face. “I told you already that was an accident! The two of us never meant to move here.”

“Mmm,” Jesse hummed in disbelief.

“I don’t get it though, Stefan,” Devan began, “why hide that from us? Jesse and I already told you we were gay the first day we met you. You don’t have to keep that secret from us.” Stefan frowned. The waiter showed up and delivered the drinks. Jesse and Devan thanked him.

“I don’t talk to other people about my sexuality.” Stefan said. “Straight, bi, gay, it’s really no one’s business but my own, and I prefer to keep it that way.” Stefan’s tone was more serious than usual, a non-nonsense attitude. “Chris does too.”

“Why so serious,” Jesse asked before being shushed by Devan.

“I like you both, so it’s fine if you know. But I’d appreciate if you kept this between us three.” Devan and Jesse looked at each other. Jesse shrugged. Devan appeared to be pondering the question in depth, turning back to Stefan after a few moments of thought.

“Your secret is safe with me,” Devan said. “If you say you don’t want anyone knowing, nobody needs to know.” Devan looked to Jesse then.

“Umm wait a minute.” Jesse said. Devan sighed obviously while Stefan looked apprehensive. “So, you want us to basically not tell ANYBODY that you are gay?”

“I never said I was gay.” Stefan retorted.

Jesse let out an exasperated sigh. “Ugh! Okay, so you basically want us to lie to people about who you are and who you like?”

“No,” Stefan answered immediately. “I’m asking you not to discuss my life, period. Do you understand? I’m a private person.” Jesse was unsure of this. Devan felt inclined to interject.

“WE won’t tell a soul.” Devan said, getting an eye roll from Jessie. “You’re right, your life isn’t anybody’s business but your own. Right Jessie?”

Jessie was pouty and silent. “Fine, yeah.”

“Fine what though?” Stefan said. “I cannot be around you if you can’t respect my privacy.”

“Shit, I’m not going to talk about you Stefan! You happy?”

Stefan smiled. “Thank you.” Stefan settled in his seat, feeling relieved. Jesse was perturbed, but tolerated the situation for what it was. Did he have a choice?

“Now that that’s settled,” Devan said, holding up his glass, “cheers everyone.” The three clinked glasses, Jesse in particular taking a large gulp of his gin and tonic.

“I should say, Stefan,” Jesse said, “It’s a good thing you told us about you and Christopher. You couldn’t imagine all the dirty thoughts I had about him-”

“And here’s Nikolai!” Devan announced. An older, white gentleman was near the door and noticed the group quickly. Jesse stopped in his tracks. Stefan appeared puzzled. The man wore a plaid white and gray ivy cap with a leather coat that seemed far too warm in the current weather. He complimented this with blue jeans that fit tightly around his thin legs along with brown dress shoes. Stefan noted that Nikolai’s appearance in the restaurant caused quite a stir from the crowd.

“Ahh my love, you are here,” the man said with a Russian accent, his arms opened wide.

“Hey daddy,” Jessie said as he lifted himself from his seat and exchanged a kiss with the man. “Nikolai sweetie, I’d like you to meet a new friend of ours, Stefan.” Stefan was still taking in the shock of having met Nikolai in person. He had no frame of reference for who Nikolai was, but he didn’t imagine it would be someone who appeared much older than Jesse. “Umm, girl?”

“Oh sorry sorry,” Stefan said as he scooted himself out the seat to get on his feet. He held out his hand. “Nice to meet you. I’m Stefan.”

Nikolai grabbed his hand and brought his palm up to kiss it. “He’s a cute one,” Nikolai said, “You always bring around cute friends my dear.”

“Oh stop it, you’re embarrassing Stefan,” Jesse commented, looking at Stefan getting antsy.

“Aww, don’t be shy. You’re a cutie pie! Now let’s sit, sit. How are you doing Devan, darling?”

“I’m doing pretty well for myself, Nikolai. Just living. What do you have going on?”

“Oh I’ve been quite busy, taking good care of my Jesse. I see you all have started on the drinks.”

“That’s right, baby,” Jesse said. “I could use a refill of this gin and tonic.”

“Oho! You certainly are a drinker. Ain’t he a sweetheart?” Stefan smiled out of politeness. Devan shook his head, knowing full well that is the last thing he’d ever describe Jesse as. “Oh, it looks like you gentlemen haven’t ordered food yet?” Nikolai directed a waiter to there table with very little effort. They each ordered dinner along with Jesse’s second gin and tonic.

“On second thought, gin on ice will be just fine for me,” Jesse winked.

“I’ll take a Stolichnaya on the rocks as well,” Nikolai asked.

“Sounds good, we’ll have your food and drinks out as soon as possible.” The waiter went on his way.

“So how did you two meet?” Stefan inquired.

“SugarDaddy.com.” Jesse said. Stefan’s eyes widened.

Nikolai laughed. “We met on a cruise. I happened to see my sweetie as he lounged near the pool side with sunglasses and these tiny red swim trunks. I knew I had to talk to him, but he was getting a lot of attention from the other boys. It was then I walked myself through them, kneeled alongside my dear, held his hand in my mind, and asked if I could speak to him in private.”

“And what did you say to that, Jesse,” said Devan, already familiar with the story.

“I told him no!” said Jesse, smiling and looking superior.

“He was a fighter, this one,” Nikolai recalled. “It took quite some time for us to come together. I didn’t see my Jesse again until six months later, at Juniper.”

“That’s the club we’ll be hopping over to later,” Jesse said. The waiter delivered the drinks while Nikolai thanked him and gave him a five dollar bill.

“When I met him there, he was still not privy to my advances. I finally suggested that I’d buy him a drink so that I may chat with him more. He was much more receptive after this. Oh yes, I was quite pleased that he came along and we spent that night and next day being with each other. You could say that we were destined. And we’ve been with each other now for one glorious year, isn’t that right my sweet?”

“Oh yes, I’ve most certainly been blessed. But let me tell you, that ain’t nothing compared to Stef-” And as Jesse was about to point to Stefan, he froze as he noticed Devan, looking like he would climb over the table and choke him out. Stefan appeared tense and mortified. “-umm... t-the many more years we’ll be spending with each other!” Nikolai smiled as Stefan looked like he was gasping for air after getting out of a chokehold. The waiter returned again with dinner platters.

“Alright,” Jesse announced, “let’s hit the clubs and get sleazy tonight gentlemen. Cheers!”

Jesse was already mildly inebriated before the group had arrived at Juniper. Stefan found himself overwhelmed, yet fascinated by the club’s outer design: The sign “Juniper” glowed with a purple LED light. The building was made with charred cedar, with mild purple lighting coming from the interior. The line to the entrance was particularly long, which made Stefan somewhat apprehensive.

“Wow, we might not get in there for awhile with that line, huh.” Stefan said.

“Line?” Jesse said like he was unaware of the crowd, “Stefan, when you hang out with me baby, you don’t need to wait in lines.” Stefan looked skeptical.

“He’s right about that one,” Devan admitted.

“Don’t believe me?” Before Stefan could answer, Jesse clumsily strutted his way to the bouncer.

Devan whispered, “Well, I should say Jesse and the two of us couldn’t get in without Nikolai. HE’S the big spender.”

“Aye baby,” Jesse said to the bouncer. The bouncer looked confused, and Stefan thought that Jesse was about to be physically escorted away. The bouncer and Jesse exchanged a few words the group couldn’t hear before the bouncer looked up, smiled and waved for the group to come forward.

“Well if it isn’t our man, Nikolai!” The bouncer patted Nikolai on his shoulders.

“Good evening to you, Georgie. I suspect our VIP room is available?”

“It certainly is, sir. Anything for our VIP.” Nikolai smiled and nodded approvingly. “And it looks like you all got a newbie.”

“Yes, this here is Stefan, a gentleman friend of my Jesse’s and a new friend of mine as well.”

“Nice to meet you, Stefan.” The bouncer extended his hand, and Stefan noticed he had a nice smile just underneath his beard that covered his neck. He extended his hand in return.

“Nice to meet you too,” Stefan responded.

“Alright, let’s do this,” Jesse exclaimed as he brought the four in.

The inside of Juniper made Stefan’s mouth drop. Go-go dancers performed on their mini stages all around them, the strobe lights bouncing off their sweaty skin. The club was heavily packed.

“Let’s grab each other’s hands,” Jesse said, “Nikolai is taking us to the VIP room.” Stefan was at the tail end of the line, his hand holding Devan’s. They each were guided around the other club-goers who danced to the house music, the bass banging their eardrums. The bars had a crystal shine to them that reflected off the white strobe lights. Drinks of all shades were found in everyone’s clear cups, along with glowing, rainbow cubes in their drinks. The group went up a stairwell to this dim lit room. Stefan noted the lounge chairs surrounding a table with a bucket full of ice chilled liquors.

“Aww, you got my favorite,” Jesse said, coddling a bottle of grey goose.

“Anything for you,” Nikolai winked at him. “Please, get comfortable.” The group sat on the lounge chairs, with clear shot glasses sitting next to the bucket.

“Now you all grab a shot,” Jesse said. “We’ll all start with grey goose.” Jesse began pouring shots in four shot glasses and passed them around. Devan and Nikolai grabbed theirs along with Jesse. “Now before we...wait a minute.” Jesse noticed that Stefan hadn’t touched his shot. “Umm, that’s your shot hun.”

Stefan fidgeted in his seat. “Yeah, I actually should’ve told you guys. I don’t drink.” Jesse’s eyes showed his annoyance. Devan looked mildly surprised. Nikolai, however found it amusing.

“You don’t drink,” Nikolai said, “My sweet, everyone could use a little liquor from time to time. It’s expensive liquor. Just a little?” Stefan saw the look in everyone’s faces and looked at the floor uncomfortably.

“Sorry but, I can’t.” Jesse put his shot down.

“Jesse,” Devan attempted to intervene, but Jesse was determined to speak.

“My man spent hella money to get us a VIP room with this expensive ass liquor and you can’t even have a shot?”

“Jesse-”

“Shut up, Devan.” Stefan was intensely uncomfortable and frozen in his spot, having not seen Jesse get to a point of irrationality. Jesse turned back to Stefan. “We’re over here trying to have some fun and you haven’t been drinking all night. Look, I don’t know you or where you are from, but bringing you out tonight and taking you to the club, for free by the way, is doing you a favor sweetheart. If you ain’t gonna drink or get turnt up with us, why stay?” Stefan looked at Devan, who gave up on trying to calm Jesse down, seeming exhausted by the whole situation. Nikolai seemed unperturbed and placed his hand on Jesse’s shoulder.

“Jesse,” he said, “it is okay. He doesn’t have to drink. I want us to have a good time. Let us drink.” Devan, Jesse, and Nikolai clinked and had their shots while Stefan stared again at the floor in embarrassment.

“I wanna go dance,” Jesse said. Nikolai lifted from his seat and offered Jesse his hand.

“Will you join me?” Jesse grabbed Nikolai’s hand. Stefan watched the two exit the VIP room, feeling regret for having come out. Guilt proceeded to overwhelm him and he looked at the bottle of grey goose on the table along with his filled shot glass. His hand went to reach for the shot before Devan spoke.

“You don’t have to do that.” Stefan looked to Devan, who had his arms laid out on the back of the couch. “You don’t have to drink tonight. Jesse’s just had too much to drink and wants you to have good time. That’s all.” Stefan pulled his hand away. He folded his hands in his lap and tried to relax himself on the lounge chair.

“I know it’s pathetic but…” Stefan began, before stopping himself. He looked at Devan then, gauging whether or not he can trust this man. “I uhh, don’t like what drinking does to me. It can...really get me down I guess, and I don’t want to be back to that place anymore. But Jesse and Nikolai, and all they’ve done for me. I don’t…” Stefan clasped his hands. He was getting teary eyed.

“I gotcha,” Devan said. He put his shot glass down. “I’ll talk to Jesse. Nikolai doesn’t care either way. You talked with the dude, he’s nice enough. Jesse’s a bit much but, you kinda just have to let him ride with his feelings. He’s still a kid. He doesn’t know how to regulate his emotions just yet. I don’t know why I’ve put up with it for so long.” Devan laughed bitterly, and Stefan found himself somewhat remorseful towards Devan.

“What brought you two together?” Stefan asked.

“I’ll have to take a shot before answering that.” Stefan laughed as Devan reached for the bottle and twisted off the cap. “We had first seen each other maybe four years ago. Jesse was eighteen at the time. I knew this kid cuz I always saw him sneaking in the club.” Devan poured himself a shot and brought the glass to his lips. “One time, I found this kid in the restroom. Now, I knew if you were sneaking into the club, you had shouldn’t be there. More than likely they were teenagers. He looks at me, trying to make his best sexy face, rubs my arm and asks me, ‘Want me to blow you in the stall?’”

“What?!” Stefan exclaimed. Devan laughed some more.

“No shit, man. And I told him, ‘I’m not trying to get sucked on by some little boy.’ Heh, he didn’t take that too well.” Devan took his shot and put the glass back on the table. “Man, this kid was giving me a bunch of f-you’s. I think I was called a motherfucker at some point. If there’s one thing Jesse doesn’t like to be compared to is a child. I’d see him around, but we didn’t talk after that.

“Three years later, I saw him out again. I think we were in line for some drinks and I asked him if there were still any hard feelings. He shrugged it off, told me he’s got a man, that man being Nikolai, and that he’s no longer available. I laughed at him, and he got mad at me again! I’m thinking ‘This kid is crazy!’ Ever since then, we’ve hung out, shoot the shit.”

Devan nodded in amusement. Stefan pondered it all. “It’s interesting. Both you and Nikolai didn’t have the greatest interactions with Jesse when you both first met him.”

“Hmm, I actually didn’t even notice that until you mentioned it. You might be one of the lucky ones, Stefan. You got a bit of a drunken tirade there, but you should be good now!” The two laughed together as Jesse and Nikolai returned to the room.

“Whatchu two laughing about,” Jesse asked, already grabbing for the grey goose and his shot glass.

“Hey Jesse,” Stefan said, “I just wanted to say sorry for not mentioning earlier that I don’t drink.”

Jesse waved his hand at him. “Gurl, I’m good. No apologies needed. It just means there will be more for us. Where’s your shot glass, Devan? You’re taking one with me too.” Devan and Stefan exchanged looks, like they were privy to an inside joke no one else knew.

“I’ll take whatever you give me,” Devan said, shoving his shot glass over.

“I will have another as well, my darling,” Nikolai said.

“Okay then,” Jesse said excitingly. “And here, Stefan.” Jesse threw him over a bottle of water. “Can’t have you sitting there being thirsty.”

Stefan giggled. “Thank you, Jesse.”

“Alrighty then, cheers!”