The Fresher - 7. Chapter 7

After fighting my way to the exit and scrambling up the stairs from the club, I frantically scanned the surrounding area for any sign of Jake when I reached street level, but he was nowhere to be seen. Everywhere I looked, all I could see was groups of students stumbling from one place to the next. They all looked so happy and carefree, and it was at complete odds with how ill at ease I felt – my stomach was in knots and my heart was in my mouth. Not wanting to go on a wild goose chase, I fished my phone out of my pocket, my hands trembling. It seemed to take forever for the reception bars to return to the screen and I probably wore a hole in the pavement as I paced up and down whilst waiting. It was all for naught though – when I eventually had reception again and tried calling Jake, my calls were immediately diverted to voicemail. I almost threw my phone into the road in frustration and cursed my bad luck to the heavens, causing one nearby group to stop and stare at me before quickly scurrying away like frightened mice. I couldn’t blame them; it probably looked like I’d just been let out of a mental asylum. After floundering for a moment, I rallied again when I realised that the club wasn’t very far from Jake’s flat – figuring that he might have headed for home, I decided to make my way there. I desperately wanted to find him and explain what had happened. It was just a horrible misunderstanding, and once he knew the truth of the matter, I was sure we’d be able to put it all behind us and move on. Walking along Grand Parade with a jumble of thoughts swirling round my head, I caught sight of Jake’s broad back in a lumberjack shirt up ahead. His elbows were resting on the stone balustrade overlooking the beautiful cascade in front of Pulteney Bridge and he had his head in his hands.

I approached cautiously and tentatively placed my hand on his upper arm. “Jake…?”

He flinched at the contact and turned his head away from the sound of my voice. “What do you want?” he snapped, his voice thick with emotion.

I tightened my grip on his arm and spoke soothingly. “Hey, don’t be like that, Jake. If you’ll just let me explain–”

He snorted derisively and shrugged my hand off of his arm before straightening up to his full height and glaring down at me. His deep brown eyes were clouded with sadness and it tore me apart to see him like that.

“Explain what, Andrew? That you can’t keep it in your pants for five seconds? I know I told you I was struggling with the idea of coming out, but I didn’t expect you to give up on me so quickly and pounce on the next available guy. I can’t believe I opened up to you like I did last night…”

“Wait, Jake, you don’t understand–”

The look in his eyes morphed from sadness to irritation. He wasn’t prepared to listen and cut me off once more, speaking through gritted teeth. “I understand just fine, Andrew. I can’t believe I actually thought you were different.” He turned and started to walk away from me.

I lost my temper and shouted after him. “So that’s it, is it? It’s over before it even started?” My voice started to crack. “You’re not even going to listen to what I have to say?”

He stopped in his tracks and I heard him exhale sharply through his nose before shaking his head slowly from side to side. He spoke over his shoulder. “I saw it all with my own eyes, Andrew. Save your lies for someone who cares…”

There was an ominous roll of thunder from somewhere in the distance and my heart thumped wildly, like hail on a windshield, but when I opened my mouth to call after him, nothing came out. I felt like I’d taken a punch to my stomach and all I could do was watch him turn and walk away. He never once looked back.

<><><>

Stood in my doorway, Matt was trying his best to convince me to go with him to join the university gym. “Come on Andy, you’ve been locked away in your room since last night. I won’t take no for an answer.”

I’d been very busy wallowing in self-pity all day and had ignored several earlier knocks on my door. “I’m really not in the mood, mate,” I sighed. “Maybe some other time, yeah?”

Matt gave me a searching look and seemed to choose his words carefully. “I take it things didn’t go very well after you left the club last night, huh?”

Realising I couldn’t shut the world out any longer, I walked back into my room and flopped down heavily on my bed, gesturing for Matt to follow.

“No shit, Sherlock. That’s the understatement of the century.”

He patted me on my shoulder. “It’ll all come out in the wash, Andy. Sam saw the whole thing and I’m sure she’ll tell Jake all about it.”

I snorted and shook my head. “I’d forgotten all about her. She’s the girl in the photo on Jake’s fridge, you know? Considering how high and mighty he acted last night, it’s a bit rich when he’s got a bloody girlfriend.”

Matt knitted his brow. “Girlfriend?” Then his expression softened and he chuckled. “You think Sam’s his girlfriend?”

I nodded, suddenly unsure of myself. “She isn’t?”

“Are you a complete idiot, mate? She’s his sister! Twin sister.”

“Oh, uh, I didn’t know…” I said weakly.

“Christ! What the hell have you and Jake actually been talking about when you’ve been spending all this time together?” He suddenly grinned and winked. “Oh, right, let me guess… He’s not much of a talker, huh?”

I groaned, collapsed back on my bed and threw one of my arms over my eyes. “We’ve only kissed the once, thank you very much. I guess we just never really got round to discussing families. As an only child, I don’t automatically assume everyone has brothers or sisters. But at least that answers that question.”

Matt suddenly looked lost in thought. “There are some seriously good genes running in that family, huh? Sam’s smoking hot, mate.” He looked a bit sheepish. “I think we, uh, actually got on pretty well last night. After you guys left, I mean. We were going to follow you out, but then we got to talking…”

I sat bolt upright and smiled wide. “Spill! Everything!”

Matt chuckled. “There’s nothing really to tell, mate. Turns out she had a bit of a bad break-up with her ex, and as hot as she is, I don’t want to be the rebound guy. I did feel like there was a bit of a spark though, and from what she did say, I think it’s been a while since they split up. She said she’s just been finding it hard to move on, and after checking in with Jake yesterday afternoon, he ended up inviting her over for a movie night to try and cheer her up.”

“So that’s why he bailed on us yesterday?” Perhaps it hadn’t had anything to do with the run-in with Tom after all.

Matt nodded. “Yep. According to Sam though, he spent the entire evening droning on and on about you though – God knows why – so she gave up with the idea of a movie night and convinced him they should come and find you instead.”

The smile suddenly fell from my face and I rolled my eyes. “Yeah… and just look how well that turned out.”

Matt chuckled. “He’ll come round, mate. Just give it time. Like I said, I’m sure Sam will put him right when they next talk. Or I will if I get the chance.”

“I seriously hope so, mate, because he wasn’t prepared to listen to me last night, that’s for sure.”

“Just try to chill, okay? And have some faith. If Mr Wright is Mr Right with a capital R, then it will work itself out. But anyway, you’ve got five minutes to get changed and then we’re off to the gym.” Seeing I was about to object, he shook his head. “It’s not up for discussion, mate.”

<><><>

As the heavy door closed behind us and I realised who was stood behind the reception desk, I almost turned around and walked straight back out. Jake had a face like thunder. When our eyes met, he crossed his arms defensively across the tight, blue ‘Team Bath’ T-shirt he was wearing. It showed off the muscles in his arms and chest to perfection.

“This is a bad idea, Matt,” I muttered out of the corner of my mouth.

Matt seemed to be oblivious and strode up to the counter. “Hey, Jake! Didn’t realise you worked here, mate. How are ya?”

Jake didn’t acknowledge Matt at first; he just continued to scowl at me, almost as though he was trying to bore a hole right through me with his intense glare. “Fine,” he eventually managed to utter, tearing his eyes away from me and focusing on Matt instead. “What brings you here?”

I could have killed Matt. The situation was incredibly awkward and was clearly making both Jake and me uncomfortable, but Matt continued to play dumb, completely ignoring the obvious elephant in the room.

“We want to join the gym, of course. Anyone free to give us a tour now?”

“Uh, it’s up to you guys…” Jake stalled. With a cursory glance in my general direction, he added, “I’m free at the moment, but you could come back in a bit, if you’d prefer?” He moved over to the computer and logged in. “I could book you guys an appointment with one of the other trainers at a more convenient time. How about six o’clock?”

Matt wasn’t to be dissuaded. “Nah! We’re ready to go now, mate.”

Jake dropped his shoulders in resignation and sighed. “Right, of course. Follow me then.”

After putting our bags in a locker in the changing room and warming up on the cross-trainers, I got the impression that Jake was trying to act as though I didn’t even exist. For the next half hour or so, I don’t think he said even one word to me, and he certainly never made eye contact. He did, however, explain all of the equipment and facilities to Matt in great detail, and he went to great lengths to ensure that Matt was using all of the weights and machines correctly, correcting him on his form and giving him tips whenever he felt it was necessary. By contrast, when it was my turn, he would surreptitiously increase the weight to be lifted and then make small talk with Matt off to my side. I was beginning to suspect he was purposely selecting the weight to be just that little bit too difficult for me to cope with as some sort of bizarre punishment for what he thought I’d done the night before. I just knew that I was going to ache in places I didn’t even know was possible the following day. The injustice of it all had my blood boiling, so I excused myself and went over to the long rows of cardio equipment at the edge of the gym before I snapped and ended up saying something that I’d later regret. I plugged in my headphones and pounded out all of my frustration on the treadmill instead.

A short while later when I looked into the mirrors lining the wall, I caught sight of Matt and Jake talking to one another in earnest. I couldn’t tell what they were saying, but by the erratic hand gestures in my general direction, it was pretty obvious what the topic of conversation was. Matt looked almost beside himself with frustration. Join the club, I thought to myself darkly. Jake clearly wasn’t having any of it though. He might just as well have put his fingers in his ears and hummed loudly. With an exasperated shrug of his shoulders, Matt left Jake and made his way over to me. I locked eyes with Jake in the mirror, but he didn’t hold my gaze and quickly disappeared back to the reception desk at the front of the gym. I found it difficult to read his expression: was he angry? Definitely. Miserable? Possibly.

After doing a few stretches, Matt jumped on the treadmill next to mine. “Well, that could have gone better…”

I pulled the headphones out of my ears and slowed down the treadmill to a more comfortable speed so that I could talk to him. “Won’t listen to you either, huh?”

Matt matched my pace on his machine. “Every time I tried to tell him he’d got it all wrong and that he just needed to listen, he’d shut me down and cut me off. I just hope Sam can talk some sense into him, because I think I’ve just gone and made it worse, Andy. I’m sorry, mate.”

“Don’t be stupid, Matt. There’s nothing you could have said that will have made it any worse than it already is. He’ll be thinking that you’re prepared to say anything just to try and get me off the hook, which is probably why he won’t listen to you either.”

“As soon as we get back to the dorm, I’ll give Sam a call. Maybe she can talk some sense into that pig-headed brother of hers.”

I made a teasing noise. “Oh, so you’ve got her number, huh? You sly dog, you.”

Matt blushed. “Yeah, well, we can’t have you getting all the action, can we?”

I snorted. “I think we can safely draw a line under the whole Jake thing, don’t you? There’s about as much chance of something happening between us now as there is of your team winning the Premier League this season.”

Matt scoffed. “Like you know anything about football!”

I was still feeling a bit testy so went on the attack. “And what’s that supposed to mean? You think I don’t follow football just because I’m gay?”

Matt shook his head and gave me a slow, lopsided grin in the mirror. “No, mate. I saw your Liverpool FC mug in the kitchen earlier, so I know for a fact you haven’t got a fricking clue when it comes to football.”

I laughed. “Touché!” I upped the speed on my treadmill again. “Now, stop distracting me and let’s finish this run and get out of here.”

The next time I looked in the mirrors that lined the wall, I realised that Tom and a couple of other guys I recognised from the rugby team were now in the gym. As Tom made his way around various pieces of equipment, I noticed that he kept glaring at me from across the room. You could almost see the storm brewing and the atmosphere became noticeably icier. I caught sight of Jake over by the entrance stealing anxious glances in my direction and then back at Tom in the reflection of the mirrors.

Before we got caught up in Hurricane Tom, I hit the stop button on the treadmill, did a few stretches and told Matt we should make a move. As we headed for the changing rooms, Tom got up from the machine he was using in the distance and started to head us off. By the time we drew level with him, he almost entirely blocked our path. As we went to pass him on either side, Tom swung both his huge arms out and planted the palms of his hands square in the centre our chests. It momentarily winded me and I gasped as I tried to get the air back into my lungs.

“Well, well, well. Look who we have here. If it isn’t Wright’s little fairy friends.”

“Look Tom, I’m sorry you have a problem with me,” I panted, “but I’m not going to apologise for who I am.”

Letting go of Matt, he grabbed my shirt in both of his fists and all but frothed at the mouth. “You cost me my place on the team, you filthy fuckin’ cock jockey…”

I saw that Jake had left the reception desk and was approaching at quite a pace. “Get your hands off of him, Tom,” he barked.

Tom jutted his chin at Jake. “Make me, you prick!”

Jake tried to reason with him. “Stop making an arse out of yourself and leave before you make me do something I might not regret.”

Tom knitted his brow. “Why do you care so much about this little pussy boy all of a sudden?” When Jake hesitated to answer and looked sheepishly at me, Tom’s confused look morphed into a knowing smile as the penny dropped. He shoved me away and squared up to Jake instead. “I can’t believe I didn’t see it before, but I get it now. You’re a fuckin’ poof as well, aren’t you?”

Without any warning, Tom swung at Jake, catching him completely off guard. Although Tom managed to land a right hook on his jaw, Jake didn’t even seem to register the hit. He just grabbed Tom by his throat and pushed him back against the wall, causing his eyes to bulge and the breath to be knocked out of his lungs.

Jake’s voice was low and menacing. “Try something like that again, sunshine – on me, or anyone else – and I’ll break every bone in your worthless body. And not that it’s any of your fucking business, but yes, I am gay. And I’m twice the man you could ever hope to be.”

As Tom’s face slowly turned purple, Jake loosened his grip and dragged him off to the exit in a headlock, telling him in no uncertain terms that as well as being off the rugby team, he would now also be barred from the gym. Having already given him a warning yesterday, he said that he was left with no option but to report both incidents to the university. He stood by the door and watched Tom as he skulked off into the distance and absent-mindedly rubbed one of his big hands along his strong jaw; clearly the punch had registered after all. I approached him cautiously and was about to place my hand on his upper arm to get his attention when I had a flashback to the night before and thought better of it.

I fiddled with the hem of my shirt nervously with one hand and my voice sounded small when I spoke. “Are you okay, Jake?”

It startled him and he dropped his hand from his face as if he’d been scalded. His eyes were full of anguish when he finally met my gaze. He bit down on his bottom lip. “Yeah… No…” He closed his eyes briefly. “Fucked if I know.” His eyes started to well up when he opened them again. “Can’t deal with this right now, bud. I have to go… Sorry.”

I called after him as he bolted out the door, but he still wasn’t prepared to listen and was gone before I had a chance to say anything else.