There is No Forever - 22. Epilogue

One year later...

The stars stood above an ocean view through the window. Fireflies congregated near the porch lamp in the corner of the awning. The fireplace was on and Miles Davis was playing low in the background. Uncle Charles and Aunt Gladys invited Devan and Jade over to spend some time during the colder autumn months. What better time to cozy up with the family? And maybe a friend…

“Mmm, my parents used to play some Miles Davis on our long car rides,” Jesse reminisced.

“He was something,” Aunt Gladys said. “You must’ve been an old soul to appreciate that kind of music.”

“Appreciate? Honey, it put me to sleep!” Jesse and Aunt Gladys laughed and high fived. Uncle Charles, Jade, and Devan were laughing beside them.

“I know what kind of music Uncle Jesse likes,” Jade said with mischievous eyes.

Devan’s eyebrow lifted as he looked at Jade. “What kind of music are you two listening to?”

“We don’t need to talk about all that, Devan,” Jesse interrupted.

Devan eyed Jesse suspiciously while Jade was hiding her snickers behind her hand.

“Jesse, don’t be listening to that crap they play on the radio around Jade.”

“Uncle Devan!” Jade exclaimed.

“Aww neph, she’s sixteen,” Uncle Charles chuckled, waving his hand at him, “hell, most the stuff she’ll hear on the radio are comin’ out the mouths of the kids she’s around anyway.”

“... Not to mention your uncle’s own mouth,” Aunt Gladys said slyly.

The group laughed.

Jesse smelled the air. “Mmm, whatever ya’ll have cooking smells real nice!”

Aunt Gladys’ shoulders rose a little, appearing bashful. “Well, Charles and I wanted to cook you all some good comfort food. We have some macaroni and cheese, candied yams, and some collard greens.”

“Don’t ask why there ain’t no meat except for that ham hock that's been simmering in the greens,” said Uncle Charles.

Aunt Gladys put her hands on her hips in silent protest.

A knock came to the door. Devan looked around. It seemed like everyone was already here.

“Did we invite someone else?” he asked.

Uncle Charles and Aunt Gladys looked at each other with smirks on their faces but didn’t say a word. Aunt Gladys proceeded to the door. Jade glanced at her uncle before looking towards the floor, avoiding her uncle’s gaze. Jesse was the only one who shifted his seat towards him.

He said, “I asked someone if they were free and if they could come over. I went by it through your uncle and aunt first cuz, you know, I’m not about to bring random folks to people’s homes.”

“Who did you bring? Filiberto? Nikolai?”

“Well, come on in, dear,” Aunt Gladys greeted the guest. “You got here right before dinner.” And as Devan waited for the stranger to be out of the way of the front door, he saw him.

Stefan had his hands stuffed in his arms to protect them from the cold. As he peered around at everyone, he had on his smile. But as his eyes traveled to the end of the room, there was Devan, and his face noticeably changed. His smile went away. Devan looked at Stefan with awe despite his efforts to appear unfazed.

“Make yourself at home.”

Stefan hung his coat on the rack. Jade lifted herself up from her seat, moving towards him.

“I missed you, Uncle Stefan,” she said.

She opened her arms and the two embraced. Devan couldn’t hide his jealousy. Being gone for so long, surely Jade would feel some type of way towards Stefan. But she didn’t. It was like she understood without needing explanation.

Devan glared at Jesse. “Why didn’t you tell me you were bringing him?!”

“Because I knew you would try to stop me! Devan, you know you miss him.”

Of course he missed him, Devan thought. He always thinks about Stefan, that’s the problem. And if Stefan cared at all that he does, then why leave? For months?

“...You should've warned me.”

Jesse sighed.

“Ugh, you Taurus’... Devan, people don’t up and go for no good reason. Try to hear him out tonight, okay?”

Stefan walked up to the two. Devan turned at the fireplace.

“Hey, Jesse.”

“Bout time you got here, sweetheart,” Jesse said as he lifted himself up to hug Stefan. “I thought you went right home to sleep. Your trip went okay?”

“It did. I’m feeling a bit tired, but I didn’t want to miss this.” Stefan eyed behind Jesse. “Hey, Devan.”

Devan turned to Stefan. He fit nicely in his clothes wearing a white turtleneck and faded jeans. He stood up with his back straight, shoulders relaxed. He wasn’t playing with his fingers to do something with them or scratching the back his neck because he was nervous. There was something different about the man who stood in front of him.

Devan lifted himself up from his seat. He reached his hand out. “... Long time no see, Stefan.”

Stefan grabbed it, and they gave each other a half hug.

“Aww, look at ya’ll,” Jesse moaned, making a pouty face.

Devan side-eyed him. Stefan hid his giggles, like he usually did as a result of Jesse’s antics.

“I think dinner’s ready,” said Aunt Gladys, heading to the kitchen. “Jade, Devan, help Uncle Charles set the table. Jesse, dear, if you could help me with the food.”

“Is there something I can do?” Stefan asked as everyone went their separate ways. Devan purposefully moved slowly to eavesdrop on his auntie’s answer.

“Warm up by the fireplace, baby! Have some hot cider. I’m not gonna put you to work yet!”

The smell of baked macaroni and cheese, toasted marshmallows, cinnamon, pineapples, and ham hock simmered in greens wafted through the air, pleasing everyone’s nostrils and eventually stomachs.

Uncle Charles was adding more to his plate when he said, “We ain’t had all you here in some time. Look like ya’ll have grown some this last year.”

“Grown?” Jesse said in a questioning tone. “I haven’t noticed any changes in my figure.”

Devan rolled his eyes. Jade chuckled in Stefan's shoulder.

“What Charles is trying to say,” Aunt Gladys said, “is that you all have gone through a lot and have come out on the other side looking quite alright. I heard a certain someone’s getting a raise.”

“Yes mam!” said Jesse cheerfully, clapping his hands together. “Rise in pay for my year of work at Judy's Boutique. I’m supposed to be celebrating with Filiberto. Go get our dance on at the club.”

“Really?” asked Stefan. “I thought you were done with the clubs and bars?”

“I am! I hardly go out anymore. But, I figured I’d deserve a little prize for my hard work. Maybe have a light beer to get me going.”

Jesse winked. A light beer? Even Stefan and Devan had to look at each other to make sure they were hearing him correctly. They hardly recognized him; Jesse was past his playboy days and wasn’t looking back, a relief for them both.

“And how bout you and Jade here,” said Jesse. “Still studying hard and kicking butt, homegirl?”

She nodded and smiled while eating her food. “Something like that.”

“She’s been getting herself involved at the gay-straight alliance at school,” said Devan.

“Oh?” said Aunt Gladys. “I had no idea you were into social clubs, dear.”

Jade shrugged. “It’s cool having friends like me and who support me in my new school. We’re trying to have a dance sometime. Uncle Devan, you should chaperone. You could bring a date and we can have a double date.”

Devan regurgitated his champagne. Stefan started laughing. Jesse cheered while Aunt Gladys and Uncle Charles exchanged looks.

“Double date?” Devan said in a questioning tone.

“Ooh gurl, give me the tea,” said Jesse, fluttering his eyelashes and bringing his cup to his lips.

“Jesse!”

“She is at that age,” said Stefan, shrugging. “I started dating around her age.”

“You’re not helping.”

Stefan smirked at Devan.

“How was being back home, Stefan?” asked Uncle Charles.

Stefan spoke about seeing Chandra and his dad, updating them on his life. His dad was getting ready to retire and Chandra had a new romantic interest in her life that seemed to be occupying her time.

“Her parents approve of him,” he said, before laughing softly. “They were pretty hush-hush about it. Didn’t want to upset me since they imagined Chandra and I being married one day...”

Once everyone was finished eating, Aunt Gladys raised herself up from the table.

“Charles and I gotta get up early in the morning, so imma start grabbing these dishes before we head off to bed. Stefan, if you’d be so kind to help out?”

“Sure.”

Stefan started collecting the dishes with Aunt Gladys, making sure everyone was finished with their meal. As Devan handed his plate over to him, their eyes wouldn’t turn away from each other.

Aunt Gladys and Uncle Charles went off to bed as the rest of the group lounged more in the living room enjoying hot cider. Jade yawned loudly. Devan put his arm around her and she leaned into his chest.

“Someone’s getting sleepy,” said Devan.

Jade nodded. “I’m gonna sleep in the guest room.”

“Sounds good. I’m going to catch up with these two for a bit. Have a good night, okay?”

“Night night, darling,” said Jesse, “see you in the AM.”

Jade waved to the three of them and headed off to bed. The three friends made themselves comfortable on couches and cushions, taking in the ambiance. The wood in the fireplace kindled gently.

“Mmm, I got work in the morning,” said Jesse, wrapping himself in a blanket and cozying up on the couch. “I ought to head to bed soon too. I should bring you over to my place sometime, Stefan. Thanks to you and Devan, my place is poppin’!”

“Have you had your big debut, showing off your apartment to the who’s who on James Street?” Stefan joked.

“See, you’re laughing now. But you wait, Stefan! Queen Jesse will have his glory days again.”

The three laughed. A momentary silence filled the space, replaced by a soft whistling noise, the whistling coming from a sleeping Jesse wrapped up comfortably on the couch. Stefan and Devan no longer had the others to fill in for the lulls in the conversation and only had themselves. Neither seemed eager to bring the other out of their comfort zone.

“Can I talk to you outside?” asked Stefan.

“...I see no reason why we shouldn’t.”

A brisk cold blew into them the second they opened the front door. Stefan put on his gloves while Devan shoved his hands into his coat pockets as they walked off the porch. The moon’s shine glimmered across the water and sky.

“I didn’t expect to see you,” said Devan.

“I know. I kinda made sure you wouldn’t know until I walked through the door. Guess it worked.”

High tide covered a good portion of the beach. Devan and Stefan came to the edge of the shore and started walking alongside it, listening to the waves.

“How have you been?” Devan asked. “New place treating you okay?”

“Yeah. Much needed time to get myself together. It’s been a tough year, doing things on my own.”

“That means Chris is out of the picture?”

Stefan looked at him. “Yeah. He actually moved back to my hometown.”

“Really?”

“Mmhmm. He had no reason to stay here once we broke up. He’s still doing the same job, going on with his life, says Chandra who sees him around. Might even have a new boyfriend, but I don’t listen much to rumors.”

Stefan watched his feet crush the sand beneath him.

“...I saw him when I went back. I was picking up some movies for my dad in a plaza near our home. He came in the store.”

Devan gulped. “What happened?”

“He paced around. Didn't even notice me at first. It felt like I was there for an eternity. I was trapped. What if he caused a scene in the store? But once we locked eyes, I got out as fast I could.

“Guess some things don’t change. No matter how long I’m away from him, the second I see him, I freeze. I don't know if that's something I'll get over.”

Stefan licked his lips and seemed to relax.

“I was so used to always trying to placate Chris. He knew it too and took advantage of me because of it. I needed some time get myself out of that mindset... Going back to taking care of myself and not abandon my own needs for someone else.”

“And that’s why you left,” said Devan. Stefan nodded. “I understand it’s been hard, Stefan. You were going through hell, and I doubt anyone comes out of that unscarred. But why leave?”

Devan paused in hopes Stefan would answer. But he didn’t. Stefan looked more at the sand on the ground and the body of water next to him. Devan became impatient. He turned and swung Stefan around so that he was looking straight at him

“You could at least say something! We made all these plans for each other: move in together; take care of Jade; help Jesse make his apartment into a home. We had everything all planned out. I wanted you to stay! But then you go without an explanation? Jade, Jesse, even my aunt, and uncle go out of their way to treat you like family, but you can barely even call me?”

Devan tried catching his breath. Stefan looked soberly at him.

“I don’t want you thinking I don’t care about you, Devan. I didn’t want to go either.”

“Then why?! Make me believe you because I’m not sure what to think, honestly.”

Stefan exhaled. “I know it looked like I tried to distance myself from you. It wasn’t fair for me to leave you in the dark, and for that, I apologize. But I want you to understand that it was my only choice.”

“Only choice?”

“... Leaving Chris and starting over wasn’t easy. I needed time to focus on myself.”

“And you couldn’t do that with Jade and I?!”

“No,” he said firmly. Devan kissed his teeth. “I couldn’t have done what I did being with you and Jade. And you knew it too. You tell me you want to be my friend, but I think we both know that you wanted something more.”

Devan turned away from Stefan like it hurt to look at him.

“I had the chance to come to terms with what happened. Jesse and you put yourselves out there to get me away from Chris and I can’t thank the both of you enough. But I saw it in your eyes and heard it in your voice why you wanted to keep me close. I didn’t leave because of your feelings for me at the time. Please understand that. I was afraid of leading you on when I knew I wasn’t ready.

“I was in no shape to be in a romantic relationship with anyone, so I promised myself that I wouldn’t jump into anything. Not when I was unsure if I had gotten over Chris. Being with you, unfortunately, made that harder.”

Devan tried to look away from Stefan’s steady gaze but found himself stealing glances. Finally, his eyes rested on him. The moon was in his eyes, those eyes he fell in love with. Having Stefan there that moment forced Devan to reconcile with the emotions he’s repressed since Stefan left. Rage, sadness, disappointment. All of them came to him full throttle, overloading his head. His mind told him he was angry, but his heart told him something else.

“I understand if you’re still angry. I’ve done a lot of work on myself this past year, and I came tonight to show you the results of that.”

“I see...” Devan paused before saying, “I’m happy for you. And I forgive you.”

Stefan smiled. He held out his arms and took hold of Devan. They were warm amidst the cool breeze. Stefan’s arms held Devan and Devan held Stefan tighter.

“I missed you…” Devan said in his ear.

As the two removed themselves from their hug, Stefan’s hands lingered on Devan’s shoulder, and Devan’s hands found comfort holding Stefan’s waist, cupping his lower back. The two could see each other’s journeys in the last several months through their eyes, and the strength and wisdom they gathered along the way. Both stood boldly facing each other, desiring desperately to be everything the other one needs.

Devan brought his face closer to Stefan’s. His head tilted to the right slightly. Stefan didn’t have a reaction at first. But he found himself moving gradually closer as well. He closed his eyes, tilting his head. And they locked lips, sharing a kiss. A kiss they could’ve lost themselves in forever.

And for the final time, thank you for reading  !!!