The Year I Stopped Being Invisible - 16. Chapter 16

I heard you on the wireless back in '52

Lying awake, intent on tuning in on you

If I was young, it didn't didn't stop you coming through

Oh-a-oh, I thought glumly. I was sitting in the La-Z-Boy in the living room watching MTV and trying to stave off the sense of impending doom which sat atop my chest, oppressive and stifling. I still wasn't quite sure what had happened in the hallway at Polk High that morning, but I knew that I was in serious trouble.

Rex had come to get me and brought me home, only to return immediately to the school for a very important conference. He was about to call Tynah at work because I had been pale, shaking and confused, but decided that would only lead to hysterics and a lot of yelling. So he left me alone while he went back to deal with Mr. Towers, the vice-principals, and Kevin's father.

Kevin's mother and brother were at the hospital, as far as I knew, looking after their hero. Some hero. Although I was sure I was facing life-altering consequences for my freak-out, I also knew that if I hadn't stepped in, Kevin would have administered a serious beat down to Taine, and that was something I couldn't have lived with. I would sooner have taken a bullet.

That being said, I knew things were about to get pretty bad for me at Polk, if...if...if I was ever allowed to return to school. Kevin had a lot of friends, and his father just happened to be better known as Coach Gorman, the squat, powerfully-built defensive line coach of the Polk Destroyers football team. And that Friday was the big Homecoming Game against Cartwright.

And now we meet in an abandoned studio

We hear the playback and it seems so long ago

And you remember the jingles used to go

Oh-a-oh, you were the first one

Oh-a-oh, you were the last one

Friday...crap. Friday was also the day of the Chamberlain Individual Qualifying Tournament. I had not only screwed myself, I had screwed Linda, my sweet, caring, understanding Duet partner. I had screwed Mr. McRory. I had screwed the speech team, the football team...oh, man. And what about Kevin? How badly had I hurt him with that English book?

Nice temper I had. Thanks, Mom. I thought back to that scared little boy, crouching behind a tree in the South Carolina woods behind the Little House which Rex had built for me and the furious, raging woman screaming my name. I had been pure, quivering fear for much of our time there, and somewhere along the line, all that fear and sadness and helplessness had turned into...well, whatever it was that happened at Polk this morning. And Taine had seen it all.

Video killed the radio star

Video killed the radio star

In my mind and in my car

We can't rewind, we've gone too far...

An image of Taine flashed into my head. He had been standing there, hair askew from where Kevin had knocked his cap, his protective shield, his safe place, from his head. His eyes had been wide, his mouth hanging open as he watched me being pulled away by Mr. Wells and Mr. Kregar. He had seen The Beast, and it had horrified him. Even though it was for him, I knew that I had shown him a side of myself that there was no reeling back.

Oh, Taine...oh, my Babes, what will you think of me now?

That was when I remembered the note. In all the confusion, I had forgotten the note! I had slipped my own note under Taine's front door the previous evening, and worried all night and all morning about whether I had said too much, gone too far in my declarations of love and devotion to him.

And then I had gone to my locker, just before the fight, to find a sealed envelope with "RICK" written on the outside in Taine's careful, cursive script. I had put it in the inside pocket of my denim jacket to read later when I had time. Then the fight had started, and "later" had never arrived.

I flicked off the TV and practically ran to my bedroom, where the jacket lay crumpled on my bed. As I picked it up to reach the note, I noticed droplets of blood on the sleeve and on the front. Kevin's blood. Oh, my God. Those aren't coming out, I thought crazily. Oh, my God. A wave of nausea and dizziness swept over me and I sat down heavily on the bed, the jacket hanging limply from my fingers. I closed my eyes and tried to compose myself.

When the sick, awful feeling had passed, I reached for the inside front pocket and removed the envelope.

I wanted to open it, needed to open it, but I dreaded what might be inside. A rejection, I was sure. I turned the envelope over in my hands idly, wondering how badly Kevin was hurt, and whether I might be headed for jail.

JAIL!

"He got a reaaal purty mouth," the movie dialogue came to my mind. I would be popular in jail. "Now let me hear you squeal. You know you can squeal like a pig. Come on, boy. Weeeeeeeeeeeeeet! Weeeeeeeeeeeeeet!"

Oh, God.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I couldn't afford to think about jail right now. It was too much, too awful, too surreal. I had to find out what was in this envelope.

As I turned over the envelope to the back and slowly began to break the seal, being careful not to let the envelope tear, I heard the automatic garage door opener groan to life, then the sounds of Rex's car pulling into the garage.

Oh, God.

My hand froze on the envelope. Quickly, I rose from the bed and slipped the letter -- still unopened -- into the top drawer of my dresser. It was time to face the music, and God only knew what that would entail.

Like a condemned man making that last walk down the Green Mile to the gas chamber, I took a deep breath, threw my shoulders back, and marched toward the kitchen to meet my fate.

* * * * *

Rex came into the kitchen and closed the door to the garage. He didn't slam the door, and he didn't look angry, which I took as good signs. But then he turned to face me, and he had the strangest look on his face that I had ever seen. My heart sank.

This was going to be that bad after all. It went beyond his prodigious capability for anger and into Bizarro-land.

His lip curled as he pointed to my chair at the kitchen table.

I sat.

Rex walked over to the cabinet over the coffeepot, replaced his checkbook, wallet and pen inside. He withdrew a pack of cigarettes, then closed the cabinet door and opened the pack, discarding the foil and cellophane in the plastic trashcan.

With another weird, unreadable glance at me, he came back to the table, returning his car keys on the hook above the radio and lighting a cigarette. I was trembling by this point, and he wordlessly slid the cigarette pack, lighter and ashtray across the table toward me.

Gratefully, I took a cigarette and lit it, my eyes never leaving his face. Even though, intellectually, I knew he wasn't going to hit me, my long-term conditioning had kicked in, and I knew I must have been cowering as if expecting the blows to start raining down.

With a deep sigh, he sat down at his chair opposite mine, took a long drag off his cigarette, looking off into space.

Oh, God.

Finally, Rex flicked his cigarette in the ashtray and looked up at me.

"Welp," he said, "I guess you fucked up."

I sighed, and could only manage "Yeah" in a quavering whisper.

He sat back in his chair, looking down his long, oft-broken nose at me. I felt like his eyes were boring holes right through me to the fear and incipient panic inside.

Finally, he did something I didn't expect. He smiled slightly and chuckled.

"Towers is a real piece of work," he said. "He was sitting there between all of us like a buck private caught in the crossfire."

I had already seen my principal looking that way after the locker room incident with Coach Keith, and an image of his harried face came to my mind. I still dreaded what his decision would be.

"What happened?" I asked. "How is Kevin?"

Rex gave a dismissive wave. "Bumps and cuts. He was treated and released, but he's got a hell of a headache. What the hell did you do to him?"

I felt a massive wave of relief pass through me. Whatever else happened, at least I wasn't a murderer.

"I don't know," I answered truthfully.

"Well, you're a lucky son of a bitch," Rex said. "Coach Gorman wanted to call the fuzz and string you up by the balls. Towers was too scared to say 'boo' to the cocksucker, and you came this close to having a felony assault on your record."

I shuddered.

"You talked them out of it?" I asked.

Rex shook his head.

"Not me. Your girlfriend's daddy."

My eyes widened. "Sly was there?"

"I guess Taine called him. He showed up halfway through the meeting with steam coming from his ears. Apparently you saved his kid's ass today, and you'd done it before with some fucked-up coach?"

Rex looked at me quizzically, with what I was too scared at the time to realize was just a hint of admiration.

"Oh, yeah," I said. "Coach Keith was going crazy on him one day in the locker room and I reported it to security. Sly was going to sue the school unless Taine got excused from gym class for the year and Coach Keith got transferred to Central Office."

"Yeah," said Rex, dragging on his cigarette thoughtfully. He stood up and got a beer from the fridge, but rather than drinking it, he slid it across the table to me.

"Drink this. You look like shit."

I accepted the beer gratefully, very confused. As I gulped the cold, welcome brew, I looked at Rex expectantly, waiting for him to continue.

"Anyway," he went on, "Sly got in Towers' face, Gorman's face, he was yelling and cussing and screaming...He threatened to sue Towers again, the school district, Gorman. Well, shit, 'sue'...he was ready to knock the snot out of Gorman right there in the office."

"Wow," I said, my fear mostly forgotten. My heart and soul were moved by Sly's fierce, overwhelming devotion to his son. "He really is protective of Taine."

"Not just Taine," said Rex. "He saved your ass today. The only way he backed off of his lawsuit threat was if Towers and Gorman promised that the police wouldn't be involved, you wouldn't be expelled, and that there would be no retaliation by them, Kevin, or anyone else. One thing about Sly Maxwell, he knows how to get his way."

I just looked at Rex in awe, unable to speak.

"That's the good news," Rex said. "The bad news is that you're suspended for the rest of the week."

I nodded gravely, but inside I was giddy with joy, relief and happiness. It must have somehow shown in my eyes, because Rex leaned forward, staring into them with menace.

"There's worse news," he said quietly. "Your mommy is coming home in twenty minutes. And she is going to go...absolutely...insane."

My relief was washed away with those words, and the dread returned. Tynah was usually a cheerful, loving mother to me, but when she got angry...forget the suspension...my real punishment was yet to come.

I looked down at the table, finished my beer and cigarette quickly, and -- with one last, anxious look at Rex, which he ominously returned -- went out to feed the birds.