Sweetheart, West Virginia - 4. Chapter Four

Sitting at a square table, I waited for Claudia to enter the room that had a warm-color palette and tall windows that displayed the woods the mental institution was located in. The room had a few other patients talking with their family members at different tables, and the overall mood was peaceful. I drummed my fingers on the table’s surface, waiting for my little sister to appear; I wasn’t allowed to have my phone while I was visiting Claudia, so all I could do was wait patiently. Then the door opened, and I saw Claudia entering inside with an orderly walking right behind her. This place always felt strange since I was visiting my sister like she was a prison inmate, with precautions taken so that she wouldn’t harm others, or herself. However, I was willing to accept these terms as long as I could visit my sister and bond with her like a brother should.

As Claudia approached me, I stood up from my seat and extended my arms out. She smiled and hugged me, and I happily hugged her back. It was at least two weeks since I last visited her, and I had so much to tell her about all the things that happened over the past week alone. So, after our hug, I sat back down with Claudia sitting right across from me. She looked good with her long hair that was down and parted in the middle; her hair color a light brown, which was different from my dark hair that I inherited from our mother. She also wore pajamas with a gray, wool sweater that was a size too big since the room was several degrees colder. With a face that was clean of any makeup, she still looked vibrant with her skin glowing naturally and her eyes that expressed that she was happy to see her big brother again.

“How are you, Sis?” I asked with my hand on top of hers.

“I’m doing fine…bro,” Claudia joked. “What about you?”

I smiled. “I’m doing all right. I’m sorry that I couldn’t visit you last week. A lot has happened and…”

“It’s okay, Cash. You have a lot of more important things to do than visit your sister at a mental institution,” Claudia said with a chuckle.

“Don’t say that. Visiting you is one the most important things that I can be doing, and it’s the only thing that I look forward to doing,” I confessed.

“If you say so… So, what has been happening in Sweetheart since you last visited me?” Claudia asked with her head tilted to the side.

I chuckled and then sighed. “God, where do I even begin?” I drummed my finger on the table again before saying, “Well, you know Kevin Conway, right?”

Claudia nodded. “Yeah, he’s Pastor Daniel’s son… Did something bad happen to him?”

“Oh, no… Well…he tried to steal something from the grocery store almost a week ago, and unfortunately for him, I was also there. I had to chase the kid down and take him to the store manager,” I explained.

“Oh, gosh. What did he steal?”

I chuckled again. “You won’t believe it… Condoms.”

It was Claudia turn to chuckle as she placed a hand on her mouth. “Really?”

“I know, right? Out of all the people in Sweetheart, that person had to be the pastor’s son.” Looking down at the table, I continued by saying, “Anyways, I took him to the store manager, and he was going to call Kevin’s father personally…but then the store manager decided to let him go after Kevin paid him for the stolen condoms and promised that he wouldn’t do it again.”

“Oh… Why is that?” Claudia asked curiously. “I feel like you’re leaving something out.”

“Well…” I looked at my sister’s concerned eyes, and I knew I couldn’t lie to her even though what I was about to tell her would have unknown consequences. “Well…you wouldn’t believe who’s back in town after five years. That person also intervened on what was happening and convinced the store manager to let Kevin go.”

“And who’s that?” Claudia leaned forward on the table. “Come on. Tell me.”

I took a deep breath and said, “It’s Benjamin Bratt.”

Claudia looked surprised by what I just said based on her eyes that widened to double their size, and then she leaned back against her chair and looked down at her lap. She was completely silent as I waited patiently for her to process the information that Benjamin Bratt, her ex-fiancée, has returned to town. The man who had broken her heart and most likely contributed to what happened to her during prom night five years ago was back. I could hear a patient or visitor laughing as I continued to look at my little sister, wishing I could somehow comfort her. But I was never at good consoling people when they were distressed, so I just sat there and waited.

Eventually, Claudia looked back at me and said, “How is he?”

I was surprised by that response since Claudia usually didn’t want to talk about anything related to that incident. “Oh…well, he seemed fine the few times I encountered him… I actually pulled him over a week ago for driving pass a red light.”

Claudia smiled. “Oh, really?”

“Yeah. I was about to get him a ticket, considering you know…but I decided to just give him a warning,” I admitted.

“That’s nice of you.”

“Yeah, and apparently he was a photographer when he was in the city. Then something happened, which could explain why he’s back in town.”

“Oh, I see. Well, hopefully he can get his feet back onto the ground. I know he’s been into photography since I first met him, it’s nice to know that he made it into a career,” Claudia said kindly.

“Oh…so you’re not still mad at him?”

Claudia shook her head. “No, I’ve forgiven him and moved on years ago…and you should too.”

I furrowed my eyebrows. “What do you mean?”

“I know you’re still investigating what happened to me during prom night since I was watching the local news recently and saw you talking to a news reporter about it, how if anybody knows any new information about me and the incident, that they should contact you… You need to move on, Cash.”

“Sis…what happened to you was unspeakable. I can’t just let something like that go unsolved,” I explained.

“Well, if you’re going to keep investigating, you should do it for Travis and his family, not me. I’m sure they want closure for what happened to him.”

I held back a sigh since I knew that Travis Nolan wasn’t the saint the town made him out to be. He was a bully to put it simply, and he used his status as the sheriff’s son to get away with a lot of things from stealing to even drunk driving that caused him to crash his new car that he got for his sixteenth birthday onto a streetlight. And I heard that he was the reason why his fraternal twin brother, Trevor, was paralyzed from the waist down after pushing his brother off a small pier where his back hit the very edge. It was just rumors, and even if they weren’t true, all those times he broken the law and got away with it were true. He made the man I was five years ago look like law-abiding citizen by comparison, and I hated it when I heard that he was taking my sister to prom as her date. Though I still felt badly for his family since the only thing they have of him was a severed hand, it still didn’t absolve Travis of all those things he did when he was alive.

“I’m doing this investigation for you, Sis,” I stated. “I was crappy big brother to you, leaving you all by yourself at home when you were still a child when you could’ve burned the house down, while I got either high or drunk or both. I just want to be the brother you deserved all those years ago.”

“And you are. Right now,” Claudia said as she placed her hand on top of mine. “You’ve come to visit me here almost every week since I’ve been here.”

“Yeah, and it would be every day if I could.”

Shaking her head, Claudia said, “You’ve already proven to me that you’re no longer the person you were five years ago. And even if you still were, I understand. Raising me, while Dad worked all those long hours and getting drunk afterwards would’ve made anyone else want to run away. But you decided to change your life for the better after that. You need to stop feeling guilty about the past. All you can do is change is the future and what’s happening right now…and right now you need to start thinking about yourself. Do that food blog you’ve been always planning on doing, and find someone special, someone who completes you.”

I chuckled. “In a town like Sweetheart? I’d be lucky if I found someone who was curious about getting it on with another dude.”

Claudia smiled. “I’m sure there’s someone. You just need to find them and stop worrying about me.”

Thoughts about Benjamin immediately rushed into my mind, and I had to block them before they immediately consumed my thoughts. “Yeah, maybe someday.”

“I’m sure you will… So, what else is happening in Sweetheart?”

I told my sister that Trevor Nolan was getting married today, and that I was attending the wedding right after my visit. I already rented a suit for the event, and I looking forward to seeing my friend and fellow police officer marrying his love; though, I was somewhat skeptical about how much his wife-to-be loved him back since he did meet her online and she traveled across the world from Russia to meet him in Sweetheart. Part of me believed that she was only marrying him for the visa, and I tried to convey my concerns to him, but he kept insisting that their love was real, and he seemed completely convinced that it was true. So, unless his fiancée said otherwise, I was glad to be by Trevor’s side as his best man in his wedding. Ever since he received that experimental treatment that enabled him to walk again two years ago, he had been living life to the fullest, and I didn’t want to inhibit that in any way.

Eventually my talk with Claudia had to end since visits were limited to only an hour, which frustrated me since I would’ve spent all day talking to my sister if I could. And it made me question why the institution had this policy along with several others to which I never got a full answer. The place felt sketchy to me sometimes, and if could’ve transferred Claudia to a different mental institution I would’ve. However, this place was located right at the outskirts of Sweetheart, and I couldn’t imagine not being able to visit my sister every week since she was at the other institution that was two hours away. And since Claudia said that the people treated her well, I had no significant reason to change that. I was just glad that Claudia was at a place that could help her whenever she had her episodes that involved hearing voices to even seeing full-bodied apparitions. This was all caused by that traumatic experience she had during prom night, and I hoped one day that she could return home. Until then I had to get back home and prepare myself for the wedding.

So, after hugging Claudia and saying our goodbyes, I drove back to my house to do just that. I took a shower, and then debated whether I should shave, but I decided not to since the wedding was only going to last until midnight. I also hated shaving since I always cut myself in the process and would rather get shaved at the barber shop when my stubble became a beard. I did, however, comb my hair with a side part, which I fixed in place with just a dab of gel. I then got into my suit, which felt strange because I wasn’t used to wearing formal attire and because I couldn’t get a suit that was tailored to my body shape since I requested a suit only a couple days ago. So, parts of the suit felt sort of tight like around my chest, which made buttoning the shirt a bit difficult. Hopefully nothing broke since I didn’t have time to go back to the shop to get a better shirt as I walked out of my house with a poorly wrapped wedding gift that contained a new set of eating utensils, with the receipt just in case they wanted to return it.

A ten-minute drive later, and I was at an old plantation that was where the wedding was taking place. It was an odd choice for a wedding since the plantation was rumored to be haunted, but so were other places in this town, which made Sweetheart one of the top ten most haunted towns in America based on one popular magazine. However, I knew that Trevor was on a tight budget for the wedding, and the owners of the plantation gave a very reasonable fee to have the wedding there. So, unless the spirits of the slaves who lived at the plantation decided to participate in the wedding, it was the best deal that Trevor could get.

After getting out of my car, I walked along the white, paved walkway to the plantation house where several guests were already at, conversing with one another in the large foyer. I saw a table that was piled with gifts in between the two staircases, and I placed mine in the middle. I was greeted by a few of the guests, and I then decided to find Benjamin to see if he was handling his job as the wedding photographer well enough. It was surprisingly easy to convince Trevor that Benjamin was willing to the be photographer, only asking what his fee was. After telling him that he was doing for free, he was ecstatic and happily said that Benjamin could be the photographer. I actually thought of a bunch of scenarios of how I was going to convince him, so it was relief to have Trevor be okay with this.

I walked onto the back porch of the house and saw all the white chairs arranged in neat rows and the wedding arch where Trevor and Natasha would become husband and wife. Hearing someone say cheese, I turned and saw Benjamin taking pictures of a couple and their two kids. I smiled and approached him as the couple thanked him before walking away. Benjamin was…wow. He was wearing a tuxedo that fitted perfectly around his body, emphasizing all the right places like his shoulders and especially backside area. He also was clean-faced and had his hair combed and parted at the side. He looked amazing, and the urges I was feeling towards him were starting to rise again. I tried my best to drown them as I stood in front of him and hid my lust my sister’s former fiancé with a smile.

“Hey, Benjamin. How’s the job treating you so far?” I asked as coolly as possible.

“It’s going great actually! The new lens you bought for this camera is really helping me get the best pictures,” Benjamin said with elation.

“That’s great…and you look great too,” I complimented.

“Oh, thanks. It’s just something I planned on wearing for…for a past event. It was just hanging in my closet ever since then, and thankfully it still fits after all these years. You look good too.”

“Thanks, but this suit isn’t the right fit for me since I had to get at the last minute,” I explained.
And I would’ve shaved, but…”

“Nah, I’m glad you didn’t. You look good with thick stubble.”

I wondered if that statement was simply platonic, or if there was something more. But I just brushed it aside and said, “Well, thanks.”

“And Cash…I just wanted to say that I appreciate you offering me this opportunity to redeem myself to this town. I understand your feelings towards me because of Claudia, so it really means a lot that you’re giving me this chance to prove myself to this town that I’m not what they think I am all those years ago.” Benjamin extended his hand out to me.

I looked at Benjamin’s hand for a quick moment before shaking it. “No problem, Benjamin.”

Chuckling, Benjamin said, “Just call me, Ben.”

I nodded. “All right, Ben.”

Ben smiled. “Well, I should be returning to taking pictures again.”

“Right, of course.”

Ben began walking away, but then turned back and said, “Maybe after this wedding is over, we can talk afterwards. Is that okay?”

I knew I shouldn’t continue talking to Ben since I already did what Pastor Daniel asked of me and gotten Trevor to accept him as the wedding photographer, but instead I said, “Yeah…that’ll be great.”

Ben smiled, and I swore I saw some blush on his cheeks before he turned around and walked away. I mentally sighed in return and decided that a glass of wine that was being passed around would help calm my nerves. I was both excited and terrified for what would happen after the wedding was over since I couldn’t deny the feelings I was having for the man even though I only reencountered him a week ago. I never felt this way for anyone other than my one-night hookups, but that lust I felt for them quickly faded away after I rocked their world in my bed. Maybe if I…no! There was no way in hell, heaven or any other dimension that I was going take Ben back to my home and… Anyways, the man was most likely straight and didn’t have any sexual inclination towards the same sex, which was good since I didn’t know if I could control myself if the opposite was true.

Now where was that wine?

***

One more picture of the bride and groom, and my job was officially over. I was relieved because the camera only had a quarter of the memory that my other cameras had back in my apartment, and I was afraid that I had to delete some pictures to make room, and that included Cash’s food pictures. Thankfully, the newly wedded couple told me that my job as the wedding photographer was over after I took one last picture of them kissing by a large, stone fountain. I then showed some of the pictures, and they both thanked me graciously for the pictures’ quality.

Trevor was especially elated with how the pictures came out, and he thanked me with a hug that could’ve rivaled Uncle Jack’s. It was surprising to see that Trevor was walking again since I always knew him with his wheelchair because he was a paraplegic. Well…I did remember a time when he could walk, but it was short, also remembering that one day at the lake where me and several other kids were at swimming, and Trevor was terrified of an alligator or crocodile being in the water. And that was when his asshole twin brother, Travis, pushed him without warning and poor Trevor struck his back at the end of the small pier. However, it seemed that he has moved on since that day, and now that he could walk again, he looked very happy being a newly wedded husband with his wife close by him.

Placing the camera’s strap back around my neck, I walked around for a while and enjoyed the cool, breezy weather, which was a nice change from the summer heat. I then decided to search for Cash, hoping that he still wanted to talk since I felt this was the best time to connect with him at a friendship level. He really did help everyone, at least at the wedding, to see me in a different light since they treated me genuine smiles and friendly conversation, which differed from the treatment I got from the barbecue almost a week ago. I wanted to thank him again, better show my appreciation for what he did for me. And I just wanted to talk to him again, to see that rugged face of his and the way that suit fitted tightly around his chest that was ready to snap the buttons off his shirt… Oh, who was I kidding? I definitely had no shame.

Only a week has passed, and I was crushing over my ex-fiancée brother, a man who had to be at ten years older than me and was totally not gay or bi. At first, I thought the pull I was feeling to know Cash better was because I wanted to make amends with him, to make him want to forgive me for the hurt I caused his sister after I broke off the engagement. However, it seemed that my feelings for the rugged police officer was more than I expected. I wanted to know what Cash’s lips felt like on my own, how his stubble felt against my face as his tongue swam inside my mouth, and how hard his chest really was as I caressed those two thick slabs of flesh in my hands. I should’ve felt shameful, even sinful for the thoughts that were making feel very hot in my tuxedo, but the one lesson that I learned since I moved to the city was that I should never deny who I was and what I wanted…and right now I wanted Cash whose very name was sexy as fuck, and I just needed to know if he felt the same. Consequences be damned.

I continued to search for Cash until I felt my phone buzz in my pocket. Pulling it out, I saw it was a message from him that said that he was at the wooded area beyond the plantation. It ended with him stating that I could find him if I go straight from the wedding arch, and so I did just that. From the wedding arch, I walked in a straight-line right to the wooded area past the plantation house. It was already getting dark, so it was difficult to transverse between the trees, but I eventually stopped by a small pond and that was where Cash was as well. He was sitting on a fallen tree trunk, and when I approached him, he turned his head to face me, and I swore my heart skipped a beat upon seeing that handsome face of his. He smiled at me, and that only made me feel even more dizzy with lust, and all it took was for him to touch me to possibly make me faint. I smiled back and decided to sit next to him, and no joke I could somehow sense his aura, which exuberated pure masculinity that I just wanted to taste, one lick if he allowed it. It only intensified by the way Cash had loosened his tie and opened the buttons on the top half of his shirt. Jesus, I was screwed.

Taming my fierce thoughts from controlling my body, I then said, “So…what are doing here?”

“Just needed to get a breather,” Cash said as he looked back at the pond. “So, you wanted to talk?”

I wrangled myself after being entranced by just his profile and said, “Yeah, just talk. About anything really. Is…Is that okay?”

“No, that’s okay. I just don’t know what I can contribute since I’m not the best conversationalist. You’ll probably get a better response if you talked to the pond instead.”

“You know, I’ve been told once that people who usually don’t have anything to say actually have so much in their minds that they just don’t know how to translate into words,” I said.

“And who said that?”

I chuckled. “My art professor…well, my mentor really since he decided to teach me what I know now about photography outside his class hours.”

“He sounds like a wise man. I’m assuming you and he were very close.”

I nodded, biting my lower lip. “He was. He introduced me to a lot of things, like how to get the best angle, the best lighting…” I took a deep breath and said, “How to make love.”

Cash turned his head. “Um…what?”

Chuckling nervously, I continued by saying, “He was more than my mentor… He was also my lover.”

“Oh,” Cash said before facing the pond again. “Are you two…still an item?”

I shook my head, feeling my throat getting tight as I said, “No…not anymore…and that’s the reason why I’m back in town, back in Sweetheart after his husband, the art critic, discovered the secret relationship and retaliated by lying to the entire art community that I edited my photos with computer software. He totaled my career, and I fucking deserved it.”

“Are you serious? It’s not your fault that he covered up his marriage from you.”

“Yeah, well, I wish I could say that I didn’t know that he was married…but I knew ever since I first met him…and he was with his husband at that time.”

“I’m…I’m sorry that happened to you.”

“Don’t be. I was in denial at first, thinking I was the victim who just got his reputation tarnished by a jealous partner who couldn’t see that his marriage had already ended and that I was the only person his husband ever loved… But when my mentor abandoned me to the wolves, I lost everything from my car to my friends…and now I truly know what Claudia felt like when I broke my engagement with her. I loved him so much, only to be betrayed in return… I now know I deserved what I got, and I don’t think there’s anything I could do to make my mentor’s husband forgive me, or even myself.” I sighed heavily and looked above to the starry sky, the sky that wasn’t blanketed by light pollution like in the city. “Anyways, I’m sorry that I unloaded all my baggage on you. This is supposed to be a happy occasion and I ruined it like I do with everything else.”

“Don’t think so badly about yourself, Ben,” Cash said as he scooted closer to me. “Trust me. I had similar feelings about myself when I abandoned Claudia just because I didn’t want to be the responsible, older brother anymore. You can’t change the past, only the future and what you’re doing right now.”

“Yeah…how is Claudia anyway? I know you told me that she’s at that mental institution not far away from the town, but I just want to know if she’s doing okay.” I wanted to know if she was still the same Claudia I befriended all those years ago, but only if Cash was comfortable with telling me. “But only if you don’t mind.”

“She’s okay, Ben. I actually just visited her today, before the wedding. We talked for an hour, and from what gathered, she’s doing fine. She said she’s getting less episodes, which means whatever treatment she’s on is working.”

“What…What episodes?” I asked curiously.

Cash was quiet for a moment, and then he said, “Ever since that night during prom, she has been hearing voices, seeing people who aren’t actually there. She has a very severe case of schizophrenia, at least that’s what the doctor at the mental institution say. I was visiting one time when she was having an episode, and God did I wish that I could’ve helped as the orderlies took her away…but like I said, she’s improving, and hopefully one day I can take her home where she belongs.”

Looking at Cash, I said, “Is there any way I could visit Claudia? I just want to tell that I’m sorry for what I did…for ending our engagement and…you know.”

“Sorry, you can’t. I mean, I wish you could, but only a patient’s immediate family members can visit…but don’t worry, Ben. She told me that she has forgiven you years ago.”

My eyes widened. “Really?”

Cash nodded and patted me on the shoulder. “And I’ll tell her the next time I visit that you said hi, and that you wish her a full recovery.”

“Thanks…and thank you for listening to me. You’re the first person I admitted all of this too. Not even my uncle and aunt know what happened to me back in the city and why I left.”

“I’m honored.” Cash turned and smiled at me.

I looked back at Cash, and I suddenly felt guilty for what I was hoping would happen with him. Claudia had forgiven me, and the last thing that I wanted to do was betray her once again just because I was now lusting after her older brother who most definitely wasn’t interested in me. I would get over wanting to start something with Cash, and besides, my life belonged back in the city, and I knew that Cash belonged in Sweetheart. There was no way we could work. I could just have a one-night fling with him, but I could never settle with just one night even with the few hookups I had when I first moved into the city. I saw much more with Cash, and I knew now that I had to get away before it was too late.

“So…it’s getting late. I probably should be heading home now. Thanks again for telling me about Claudia and for offering me the job as Trevor’s photographer.” I quickly stood up from the tree trunk and extended my hand out again.

Cash stood up as well and began shaking my hand, but then he pulled me towards him, hard and fast, and my face was suddenly only a couple of inches away from Cash’s. I looked into his eyes that were staring back at me like sharpened daggers that were slowly sinking deep into my soul as my heart beat quickened and I was losing control of my breathing.

Cash’s hand was still clutching me by the wrist, and when he placed a hand behind my head and neared his lips closer to mine, any thoughts about how this was wrong, how he was too old for me, how he was supposed to be my enemy, how he was Claudia’s goddamn brother were disappearing…and they only made it more enticing as our lips finally united and I felt a euphoria that I didn’t think I would ever feel again. And when our lips began moving, it took all my strength to prevent myself from pushing Cash onto the leafy ground and have my way with him. Kissing would have to suffice, and I didn’t complain at all.

The kiss by itself was so intense, the exchange of heat and wetness that only became more arousing as my face grazed against Cash thick stubble that caused prickles of pleasures to go through me. And when my hands found the two stacks of thick muscles under his open shirt, I had to grab them as I continue to make out with the police officer turned bad, no, turned savage as he consumed me with his mouth. With both hands on my head now, I was his feast, and I enjoyed every second of Cash taking me as his own, and only his own.

Eventually, we had to catch our breath, Cash pulling my lower lip with his teeth before letting go. Even when we didn’t have our tongue deep into each other’s mouths, I loved the way his hot breath felt on his skin, how he pulled my hair between his fingers and just the savage expression on his face that showed that if Cash was like a wolf at all, he would be in heat.

“This…This is so wrong,” Cash confessed.

“Yeah…maybe you’re right…but I don’t want it to stop,” I said back as I looked at those lips of his and ready to be consumed once again.

Cash grunted, like he was rethinking this whole situation. Hell, I was too; I made two major mistakes in my life, both resulting in me leaving a place I considered home…but I couldn’t stop now since I was too far, too deep into what was happening between me and Cash, and I wanted to see how it ended. And that involved with me on my knees and giving Cash Monroe the best blowjob of his life as he moaned my name before spilling his seed into my mouth. I wanted that so badly, and maybe I was going too fast…however, life was too short to have concerns like that, so I was going all in. I just needed to kiss him just one more time before I did the deed. He seemed to be thinking the same as our face neared again.

But a noise, the sound of a branch snapping, took us back to reality, and Cash took a few steps back as I looked around, wondering what or who made that noise. All I could hear now was Cash’s heavy breathing, and then some rustling of leaves was heard, and I quickly started to lose my breath for an entirely different reason. However, Cash was quickly by my side, which helped since what came next startled me to no end.

A figure appeared behind a thick tree, and as Cash and I stayed closed together, side by side, the figure started to stumble its way towards us. The closer that it got, the more scared I became, especially since I started to see that the figure was a man. The shadows were obscuring his appearance, but as he continued to stumble forward, I was shocked to see a shirtless man with torn up pants and…one hand missing.

Cash cursed and said, “Jesus Christ! Travis?”