The Weigh Down - 4. Chapter 3. Part 2

(Gavin’s POV)

              

I jog over to the black SUV I don’t want to Josh to leave on these terms. He rolls down the window, and he squints at me. “Hey, are you okay?” I ask.

“A headache.” He manages to get out.

“Josh, how bad is your headache?” Jane asks.

“So…bad.” He finally manages to get out.

Jane gets out of the SUV and runs to Josh’s side. “Josh, look at me.” She tells him opening the door.

The moment she opens the door he pukes all over himself and goes limp. “Josh!” I yell, and Jane puts up a hand to keep me back.

“Gavin you either get into the car or move. I have to get him to the hospital now!” She yells as she runs back to the driver side.

I hope in the back seat of the SUV and as soon as the door closes my phone vibrates. I answer it, “Dad it’s Josh.”

“What’s wrong?” He asks.

“I don’t know he said he had a really terrible headache but was having issues getting the words out and he puked all over himself and passed out. We are taking him to the hospital.”

“Fuck, I will call the hospital to let them know to be ready.” Dad says hanging up.

I focus back on Josh he is still unconscious, “Jane is he okay like that?”

“If he pukes again he may not be, Gavin you need to lay his seat back and get him to turn just in case he pukes. You may get dirty but I’d rather have that than him choking on vomit.”

I gently start to lay the seat back, “I’m scared, I don’t want to hurt him.” I tell Jane.

“Gavin suck it up, we are close to the hospital.”

I gently start to turn him, my heart is beating rapidly. He looks like he is dead, and I hate to see him looking like this. “Don’t let his head move around.” Jane says.

I mentally cuss myself it is not the time to start looking at how beautiful he is despite being covered in his vomit. It seems like it’s forever even though it’s been only a few minutes, but we pull up to the hospital. There is a team waiting for us with a bed the open the door, “How long has he been unconscious?” The female doctor asks.

“About 10 minutes or more.” She says.

“What happened?” Another demands.

“He fell and hit his head on the concrete.” I say getting out of the SUV.

“When?” The first Doctor asks, and they are moving him.

“around 3 and a half hours.” Jane answers.

“Why did no one bring him in sooner?”

“We were on a plane, and he passed out at the sight of his own blood.” I say and follow them in.

One of the doctors shoots me a look, “Why would you take him on a plane if he passed out?”

“He was okay, he was talking until he saw the blood.” I tell him, “When he woke up he was aware of what was going on.”

“That doesn’t mean anything the air pressure may have had a big part in this.”

“I don’t understand what is wrong with him?” I ask.

They don’t answer as they wheel him into a room and they are shining lights in his eyes, “one pupil is dilated. We need to wake him.” The female doctor tells the nurse.

“Are you family?” She turns to ask.

I shake my head, “No, he works for my dad.”

“What is his name.” She demands.

“Joshua.”

“You need to go to the waiting room, you aren’t family.” She quips at me.

“I’m the only he knows.”

“Doesn’t matter kid.” The Doctor says.

I look at her, as the nurse tries to usher me away, “You know who my dad is correct?”

“Don’t care.” She says tending to Josh.

“Can I have his phone, so I can call his Aunt or brother?” I ask.

The nurse hands me his phone and guides me, “I know you’re concerned about your friend, but he could have a severe concussion. We are going to wake him, we really need a family member here we since will have to admit him.”

I am getting pissed now, “My father is Clint Castiglione. He is on the damn board of the hospital! My little brother Xander Castiglione is here, so put him in a private room next to him.”

Recognition passes over her, “I will let Dr. Ramirez know.”

I start walking to the front desk and I see my dad talking to the receptionist, “Put him next to my son. I want him looked after.”

“yes, sir.” The lady says.

I spot Jane and Nico outside arguing. “Don’t mind them.” Dad says putting his arm around me.

“Where is Natalie?”

He sighs, “She’s on her plane they had to divert when we were told Xander was at the hospital. They had to refuel she will be here in a few hours. Xander’s appendix had to be taken out, I am sure you were about to ask me.”

“I was.” I admit.

My dad laughs, and he is watching Jane and Nico. “I would hate to piss her off. She is really giving it to him, come on let’s go to the private wing before someone says they saw you here. Josh should be up there soon.”

I follow my dad when my phone starts vibrating. I grab my phone, but it’s not going off. I take Josh’s out of my other pocket and I can barely read anything through the cracked screen I see a J so I assume it has to be Joe.

I try to slide the answer button over carefully. “Joshua?” I hear an almost identical voice to Josh’s on the other end.

“Are you Joseph?” I ask

There is silence for a moment. “Who is this? Where is Josh? Is this Taylor?”

“I don’t know who Taylor is, but I am a friend of your brothers.” I tell him.

“Where the fuck is Josh? What have you done to him?” He demands.

“Whoa, man. I didn’t do anything, look Josh fell and hit his head hard. We are at the hospital in Denver I can give you the address if you’d like.”

“Oh, god. Is he okay?” I can hear the genuine concern in his voice.

“They think he may have a severe concussion, they are running tests on him now.” I give him the address and he said he would be here soon.

Dad looks over at me, “do you think that’s a good idea telling his brother?”

“That’s his twin dad, and I don’t know his Aunt’s number.” I say flashing him the shattered phone screen.

We make it up to the private wing, “Why don’t you see if Josh is up here yet, and awake I am sure he will someone to be with him.”

“What about Xan?”

“Gavin, he’s fine he is the next room over. You need to be there for Josh, so he has someone.” My dad says firmly, and I know there is no arguing.

I make my way to the room, a nurse is in there taking his readings. “How is he?”

“He has a mild concussion as we assumed. He really should have been taken to a hospital before flying. He may be a bit confused about things for a few days, we will need him to stay for observation.”

I nod, and she leaves the room. I approach the bed, and Josh looks up at me and squints. His blue eyes looking a bit confused. “What are we doing in a hospital?”

“You hit your head pretty hard.” I tell him sitting on the side of his bed.

He lets out a sigh, “What did I mess up this time?” He asks.

“Nothing at all. How does your head feel?”

He shrugs, “It’s there, kinda hurts.”

I nod, “Joe is on his way here.”

Josh scowls, “Why did you tell him anything.”

I throw my hands up, “he called, and I answered your phone. Figured he would be worried sick about you.”

Before he says anything there is a knock on the door, and my dad comes in. “How are you feeling Joshua?”

“I’m fine, look Cli..umm..Cli…Can I just go home.” Josh slurs out.

“I don’t think that is such a good idea sport. Do you know my name?” Dad asks.

Josh looks at him and shakes his head no, “head hurts.”

The doctor comes in, “I think it’s best if you two would give him some time to rest we are going to go run few more tests and another CT scan on him plus a possible MRI.” Dr. Ramirez says walking up to the bed.

My dad holds out his arms to me, and I lean into him. “Go visit your brother I am going to try to get ahold of Natali.”

I walk into Xander’s room and he is asleep, that’s why dad must have come to check on Josh. He looks so little laying in the hospital bed. I sit on the chair next to his bed and put my head on the bed and my hand next to his.

I feel his fingers wrap around my hand, I look up to see Xander looking at me. “Hey, buddy.” I say sitting up.

“Gav?” He asks.

I smile and hold his hand, “yeah buddy it’s me.”

He starts looking around, and I see his heart rate on the monitor start to jump. “Xan, you have to calm down buddy you are in this hospital.”

“I didn’t do anything! There was this pain, and I cried out that’s all that I remember my stomach hurt so much!” He says getting even more worked up.

I sit on the side of his bed, there was more than enough room for me considering his small frame. I hold his hand again, “We know, they had to remove your appendix.”

Xander lets out a breath, “where’s dad?”

“He went to get a hold of your mom.”

“Wait mom is coming too?”

I nod my head, “She had them divert her plane to get here as fast as she could.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to cause all this trouble.”

I ruffle his long brown hair and move it out from his green eyes. “No one is upset, you are more important to us than anything else in this world.”

I can visibly see him relax, “You look like shit Gav.”

I roll my eyes, “there is the Xander I know and love. I am severely jet-lagged and I have been on more planes than I would like to have been in the last 24 hours.”

Xander squeezes my hand, “I missed you.”

“I missed you so much Xan.”

A dark look crosses his face, “do they know?”

He’s referring to the paparazzi, Xander has never adjusted well to our family being in the spotlight. It’s even rougher for him because of who his mother is, I have had to bribe him just to get out of the house. He once went almost three months without leaving the house. “Yeah they know, there are a ton of them outside the hospital along with fans.” I know this for a fact because I know what dad means when he says he’s going to get things taken care of. That means he will get coffee and make sure security is tight.

“They won’t get in here right?” He asks concerned.

I shake my head, “Not a fat chance in hell. Nico is outside on guard.”

“Nico is back?” He asks.

“Yeah, he’s back. He saved…..a friend I guess you would call him back in New York someone let leak where I was staying, and it was mass chaos trying to leave the hotel.”

“Where is Oli? What about Jane?” He asks.

“They are all out there.”

“What do you mean he saved a friend, what kind of friend?” He says eyebrows shooting up.

I laugh, “Not a boyfriend, just dad’s new assistant.”

“You like him though don’t you!” he teases.

I shrug, “He’s different. He doesn’t care about the fact I am famous, and he’s down to earth. I don’t even know if he is gay Xan.”

“Anyone would be gay for you.” He says laughing.

I laugh with him, “Maybe, you will meet him, and you can let me know what you think.”

“You sound so unsure.”

I stop smiling, “things didn’t go well after we found out that you were in the hospital and with the fans things got hectic. Josh tripped when we were trying to get to the SUV and he hit his head and the crowd was insane. That’s when Nico showed up, he grabbed Josh and put him in the vehicle, and he passed out because he doesn’t like blood. Things just got worse on the plane and I know he has a lot going on in his life, so I don’t even think it would be fair to expect him to want to be a part of my crazy life.”

“I think you worry too much. Gav, if he likes you he will overlook what our lives are. Don’t give up on him, maybe help him with whatever he’s going through.”

I laugh, “Well maybe when he gets some rest he will walk over.” I say.

Xander looks at me, “What do you mean?”

“We had to rush him to the hospital, he has a concussion. He’s in the next room over.”

“Why aren’t you in there with him!”

He needs to rest, “he’s very confused and exhausted.”

“You should have told me he was here sooner!”

I laugh, “ Cause I knew you’d say some craziness. How do you feel?”

“Sore.” He says looking away.

“What’s wrong Xan?”

“Are you absolutely sure no one will get in here?”

“Runt, aint no one coming past those doors without my clearance.” Nico says standing in the doorway.

I get off the bed, “This is your fault Josh is in the hospital. You were so damn sure he was fine.”

He just looks at me, “He didn’t die did he?”

“That’s not the fucking point.” I whisper harshly to him.

“I assessed him, he was in no imminent danger, I think you forget Gavin we are hired to protect you not your Father’s assistant.” Nico says to me and clicks his earpiece, “I’m on my way.”

“We aren’t finished!” I say getting pissed.

“Cub, I don’t have time to argue, there is someone trying to get in.”

I follow Nico down the hall and through the double doors. I spot Jane with another person she is in a stance that tells me she is getting pissed. As we get closer I can hear her. “Sign the NDA and I will let you through.”

“Why the hell would I sign those? My brother is in there! I talked to the front desk, you can’t keep him from me.” The young male says.

Nico walks up he towers over both them, “Sign the NDA and you’ll see your brother. Don’t sign it you don’t get to see him.”

I watch him sign the papers, it wasn’t until he looked up was my suspicions correct. He had to be Joe. He looked identical to Josh, except the fact he wasn’t as skinny as Josh not to say he was fat cause he wasn’t. “I know you.” He says eyeing me suspiciously.

“A lot of people know me.” I tell him.

He throws the pen down and looks at Nico. “Take me to my brother.”

Jane stands beside me, “it’s weird isn’t it?” She comments.

I smile, “he said they were identical.”

“Yeah, just I don’t think I have run into a pair of twins that are identical. I am going to grab a coffee want one?”

“Please.” I tell her.

I walk back through the double doors and see Joe waiting in the hall. “They took him to run some tests.”

“Why was Josh with you?” He asks.

“He works for my dad.” I tell him getting confused.

He scrunches up his face, “Aren’t you Gavin Castiglione?”

I nod, “I am.”

He just nods his head and leans back in the chair. I watch him from the side of my eye, they may be identical, but their personalities are completely different where Josh was easy to be around Joe was more intimidating I guess you could say.

Finally, after a painfully awkward 10 minutes I see a nurse rolling Josh down towards us. Joe gets up and meets them at the door. “What’s wrong with him?”

“He has a concussion it’s not as severe as we thought, but he will need to stay the night for observation just in case.” She says.

“Why are you here Joe?” Josh asks closing one eye.

“I was worried about you, and I called, and I guess he picked up.” Joe says looking back at me.

The nurse helps him back into the bed. “You should go home, Joe.”

“NO! You’re hurt, and I don’t even know why!” he says rounding the bed to look at me and Josh.

“I was clumsy, and I fell and hit my head.” Josh says.

“Doing what! Were you fucking him? His dad since you work for his father now!” Joe spits out, and as soon as he says it I snap my head towards him and you can see the realization wash over him.

“I’m not fucking anyone Joseph. Gavin didn’t even know I was gay until you outed me just now. Congratulations brother you have outed me again, maybe you should start your own business in outing people.”

Joe looks at me and back to Josh, “I’m…I didn’t…Josh…”

“Save it….” He trails off

Josh puts a hand up to his temple, and Dr. Ramirez walks in. “I don’t know what’s going on in here, but you two need to leave his blood pressure has gone up and he needs rest.”

I don’t argue with her, I turn to leave. I don’t hear what Joe says to Josh, but Josh doesn’t respond. I walk into the hall and Jane is waiting for me with a cup of coffee. “What’s wrong?”

“Joe just outed Josh to me.” I say taking the cup of coffee.

“Yikes, are you sure we aren’t filming a reality show, there is so much drama.” Jane says smirking.

I shake my head, “really like you and the drama with Nico. I saw you two arguing when I passed by the doors earlier.”

“That is different. Josh could have been seriously hurt, if not something more severe. All because Nico wasn’t thinking about anything else but the job.”

“You care about Josh don’t you?” I ask.

She pulls a face at me, “He’s a kid Gavin, like you. Yes, you are the job, but I wouldn’t stand by and let anyone get hurt or put them in danger.”

“You told him multiple time you couldn’t come back for him.” I point out.

She lets out a sigh, “Are you fucking serious Gavin? I said it to emphasize that you are the priority, but if you don’t know by now that I would have gone back for him then you don’t know me and I thought we had a better relationship than that. I would never let someone come in harm's way that you obviously have feelings for.”

“I don’t have feelings for him.” I protest.

Jane shakes her head, “maybe not romantic feelings, but there is something there don’t try to deny it, or you wouldn’t be so concerned over him.”

“Yes I would, I care about everyone.”

She laughs, “Gavin, really? Yes, you do, but when he is brought you get this goofy grin and your eyes light up.”

I don’t reply, because Joe walks up. I can instantly tell by his demeanor that he feels guilty, he takes a seat without saying anything to either of us. “Are you okay?” I ask.

He looks up at me, and I can tell her is on the verge of crying. “I don’t know I keep fucking up with him.” He says looking into Josh’s room.

I gesture to the seat next to him, and he looks at it and to me and nods. I sit next to him, “I don’t know what happened between the two of you, Josh didn’t really say much about it. Have you just tried sitting down talking to him about it, and hearing how he feels about what happened?”

He pushes his hair out of his eyes, “I try, but he deflects every time.”

“Are you sure you are trying to talk about the issue, and not just talking at him about the situation?”

He opens his mouth to reply, then closes it. He thinks about this for a few minutes he looks like he’s getting more upset. “How do I fix this?”

“I don’t know man. I know he is your brother, and I know you want to protect him because of what happened between the two of you. I would do the same for my little brother, but you can’t smother him you have to let him breathe. Josh feels like he can’t make a decision without you questioning it or his intentions.”

“He’s told you all this?”

“Not outright, but you can tell he feels suffocated. Josh is one of those people the more you push the harder he is going to push back. I would also suggest stop outing him.”

Joe lets out a sigh, “Yeah, I didn’t know you didn’t know he was gay. I guess he didn’t tell you why he hates me then?”

“I don’t think he hates you, I don’t think he particularly likes you meddling in his life. Josh just said a fallout happened and he was on the streets for a bit.”

“I caught him jerking off to your picture….fuck I probably shouldn’t have said that at all.” He says slapping his forehead. “Please don’t tell him I told you that, he already hates me.”

I try my hardest not to grin, but knowing I was a fantasy of Josh’s was I don’t know but it was flattering. “I think his biggest problem is you have no filter man.”

He nods, “Yeah, he overthinks, and I just blurt shit out. Well, I caught him doing that and I took his phone and was fucking with him and he was upset, and I kept fucking with him and asking if he was a fag, and he started to cry. I was stupid I didn’t realize I was hurting him by calling him these derogatory names. I asked him if he was a faggot and when he said yes, I kind of yelled it and our mom heard. She’s fucking crazy man, I didn’t realize how much hell she was putting him in. She was abusive to him, she tried to pray the gay away, she wouldn’t let him eat or sleep in our room. When she couldn’t “pray the gay away” she threw him out without anything not clothes, food, or money.

I didn’t even know until I couldn’t find him at home or in the basement where she made him stay.”

“I didn’t know any of this.” I say in a whisper.

He looks at me with tears in his eyes, “I didn’t know I would cause this. He will never forgive me, and I hate myself for doing that to him. I guess I have tried to force him to have a relationship with me, and he has pushed back. I just want him to know how sorry I am, and I miss my brother we used to be so close.”

“Give him time man, I think talking with him about it is better than expecting him to be okay with it.” I say trying to comfort him but I don’t think it’s working.

He laughs and wipes his eyes with the back of his sleeves. “Here I am pouring out my woes to a social media star.”

I cringe at the words social media star. “Joe, it’s ok man.”

Joe pops up from his seat, “I am going to leave. Josh doesn’t want me here and I don’t want to upset him anymore. Just please tell him I’m sorry and that I’ll be at our aunt's house.”

I jump up to my feet, “Joe I don’t think leaving would be a good idea man. He’s upset a lot has happened.”

He shakes his head, “I know my brother, he doesn’t want me here right now.”

I watch Joe leave and I feel sad for him. I get a light tap on my shoulder and turn around to Jane. “Your dad and Natalie are here. They are coming up I thought you’d want to go see them.”

“Where is Nico?” I ask.

Jane smirks, “He is pissy. Apparently, he and Clint had some words. Oh, Xander has been asking for you.”

I tell Jane thanks, and head to Xander’s room. I walk in and he looks up from his phone, “I’m trending on twitter….they think I am a drug addict, and other stupid stuff.”

I grab his phone, “ignore them. They don’t know you Xan we all know you aren’t a drug addict.”

“This just sucks.”

He shifts a little so I can lay beside him. I crawl into the bed carefully once I am comfortable I push his hair from his forehead. “When you get better we need to get out of the house a little more.”

“Gav….” He says.

“Xander, I know this isn’t something you want, I will be with you at all times. You don’t have to go out with anyone else but me. Plus Jane, Nico, and Oli will be with us every step. This is why the media is speculating as to why you are in the hospital because no one knows anything about you. How long has it been since you were even seen?”

He lays his head against my shoulder, “Since you left...and I will only leave the house if it’s with you” He finally says.

I don’t say anything, I just lay there with him. I feel bad I hadn’t realized what was going on with Xander when I was away. I feel like an asshole for taking the time I needed, and I feel like I let him down. I look over at him and he is sound asleep.

Natalie walks in the room, she stops and takes a picture of the two of us. “Hey, sweetie.” She says bending over and kissing my forehead. “I have missed you so much.”

I hug her, “I’ve missed you too.”

She leans over me and kisses Xander on the forehead. He is still fast asleep, “Heard there was some excitement.” She says pulling the chair closer to the bed.

“Yeah, that’s one way to put it. I heard you had some as well.”

She smiles, “Yeah, how is he doing?”

“He’s upset he’s trending on twitter they are saying some messed up things, about him. I tried to tell him it’s because he doesn’t show his face at all.”

“I will call Nikki to get her out in front of this.” She says.

“I should have asked first, but I told him he needs to start going out with me. We will have three bodyguards with us at all times, and I have a few things to do.”

She nods, “I think that is a good idea he will be recovering for a few weeks but after that, I think he should go out with you and be seen. I am glad you are home, Gavin.”

“Thanks, I am glad to be home.” I tell her.

“How is your friend doing?” she asks.

I let out a sigh, “He’s ok, they are keeping him for observation he will most likely be fine.”

She smiles, “That’s good I was worried about him. Are you two?” she asks.

I laugh, “No, he works for dad. He is just a really down to earth person and doesn’t get caught up in the whole insanity of our lives.”

She smiles, “Well I look forward to meeting him, are you gonna stay with Xander tonight?”

“I hadn’t thought about it, but yeah I can. You and dad going to head home?”

She nods, “yeah, that way we can get some rest and be back early in the morning. I can stay if you want me too.”

“No, I would love to stay. That way I can check on Josh as well.” I tell her.

               ***************************************

I feel a hand gently shaking me awake. I look to my right and it’s Jane, “What’s up?” I ask and sit up. I slept in a fold-out chair because I could pull it up to the bed. “What time is it?”

“Hey, sorry to wake you, but it’s a little past 6:30 am. I thought I should tell you that Josh checked himself out of the hospital.”

“What? Who let them?” I ask.

“Gavin, he was cleared. They can’t force him to stay at the hospital, here he left this for you. He said to tell you he’s sorry.”

I take a note from her hand. “I wished he would have told me something.”

She gives me a small smile, “You would have talked him out of leaving. I am going to go wait outside the room.”

She walks out and closes the door, I look over to Xander who is still asleep. Funny cause the nurses coming in and out all night kept both of us awake. I look at the note and unfold it.

              

Gavin,

I’m sorry. I know you are probably upset with me for leaving without telling you, but you would have talked me out of leaving. I know this was shitty and I feel bad about it. Thank you for being there for me this weekend even if you didn’t realize it. Yes, I am gay. I didn’t want to tell you because it could have made things weird. I am sorry that Joe showed up and was an asshole, that’s his thing he just says shit without thinking about the consequences. I am sorry it all went down in front of you. I am embarrassed that, that happened. I guess that’s why you’re reading this note and not talking to me directly. I thought I could be your friend, but my life is pretty fucked up and last night was just a scratch of the surface. You deserve a better friend that what I could be, plus being around me could cause some unwanted attention to you. You deserve a friend that doesn’t have such an emotional baggage that they carry around. I know I won’t hear from you again, I am sorry. I just need to get my shit sorted out starting with my brother. Tell Clint I know this is a shitty two-week notice, but I can’t work for him right now. I know you probably are pissed at me right now and I feel like an asshole, but this is for the best.

-Josh.

I fold the note back up. Are you fucking kidding me! He is just going to drop me cause of Joe outing him. I text him, and I know I won’t get an answer but I don’t want to accept this as a goodbye that’s not fair to me. I hear my phone ding and I pick it up, it’s not Josh. It’s Natalie, she sent the picture of me and Xander laying in bed. She also tells me that they are on the way up to the hospital, so I can go home and shower.

I save the picture, and open my Instagram up ignoring the notifications I select the option to upload a new photo, I pick the one of Xander and I. I caption it, “Glad to be back home for my little brother. Xander is doing well, he underwent a normal routine surgery to remove his appendix. I know there have been many rumors, but those are just that rumors. Xander is doing fantastic and is recovering. We ask you please respect our privacy while Xander recovers, we appreciate all your thoughts and prayers. Thank you to the amazing hospital staff-G”

I upload it and within a few seconds, I start getting notifications. I search for Josh’s Instagram and decide to DM him. “Please call me when you can. I know you have shit to deal with, but please…”

“Gav?” I hear and look up from my phone.

“What’s up buddy?” I say getting up moving closer to him.

“You okay?” He asks.

I nod, “Of course I am. The parents are on their way up here. Are you hungry I can get us food?”

He shakes his head, and motions for me to lay with him. I don’t protest and lay next to him and he puts his head on my shoulder. “I’m glad your home.”

“Me too buddy.”