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The Weigh Down - 5. Chapter 4

Here is the 4th chapter!

 

Sorry for the long wait, but I promise it was worth it!

I have an editor now! @JayT Has taken that roll

He did amazing with this and I am excited to work with him

Hope you all enjoy!

I hear a knock on my door. “What?” I groan out.

The door opens and Taylor walks in and shuts the door. He looks at me and asks, “You gonna get out of bed today?”
No,” I say pulling the cover over my head.

I feel the corner of the bed dip as he sits on it, “You need to get out of bed Josh. Joe has been calling your phone which I told you the new one came in five days ago. You’ve been dropped from your college classes.”

“I don’t care,” I mumble out.

Taylor rips the covers off me. I sit up and stare at him. “You barely eat, you haven’t showered in days, you aren’t sleeping. All you do is work and that’s not helping you. And you look like shit, Josh. You don’t care about your life, but I do. I will not let you fuck it up. You will be seeing a therapist today.”

“I am not seeing one! You aren’t my father, Taylor, so stop acting like you are!” I yell at him.

He stands up quickly and I can see he is pissed. I pull my legs to me and duck my head between my knees and chest with my hands covering the back of my head waiting on an impact. I keep waiting for it, but I don’t feel anything but Taylor’s arms wrapping around me. “Damnit Joshua, I would never hit you, you know that! I would never raise a fist to you or anyone.”

I lean into him. “I’m sorry, I’m such a mess. I don’t know why you care. I’m a fuck up.”

Taylor hugs me harder. “You aren’t a fuck up. You are just lost right now Josh, and that’s ok. I think you should see the therapist let him talk to the school, so they don’t tank your chances next semester.”

“I don’t want to talk to him today, please?”

“Okay, but you will soon.”

Okay…you aren’t going to let me hide in here today, are you?” I ask.

He lets out a sigh. “I want to let you, but no I’m not going to. You need to shower baby boy you stink. You need to go see your aunt, talk to your brother. Talk to Gavin, I have had Clint on the phone to me for days now.”

“I can’t talk to Gavin. I will take a shower and go to my aunts. Are you going to let me work tonight?” I ask hoping he says yes.

“You have to visit your aunt and eat a decent meal”

“Taylor come on, I am your most popular model!” I protest.

He shakes his head. “I don’t care. Besides Colin is pulling in a ton of views.”

“Who the fuck is Colin?” I ask.

“He’s new. Lane quit. Apparently, he found a sugar daddy to support his habits after I drugged tested him and put him on probation.”

“How old is Colin?”

“Eighteen.”

“How popular?” I ask.

Taylor laughs. “Are you really getting jealous? He’s popular with the twinks, Josh. Colin is tall blonde hair green eyes and slim has a very confident attitude. Don’t worry, I am sure your channel will surpass him once you get back on.”

“He has more subs than me?” I ask getting pissed.

“Josh you would know all about him if you came out of this room.”

“Does he have more subs than me?” I ask him again.

“Josh…”

“Please? Taylor I never ask!”

“Yes, he has more than you, but it’s only because the few weeks you have been like a robot, I have many subscribers emailing asking if you are ok. Now, go shower and I will have someone drop you off at your aunt’s house. “

***************************************************

I pull on a fresh pair of boxers, and wipe the steam from the mirror, I did look like shit; there were dark circles under my eyes. I don’t even know what I am going to tell my aunt when I see her. I pull on the sweats and a long sleeve shirt and head out of the bathroom.

I grab my wallet and the new cell from my room and head into the living room. I see a tall thin guy leaning on the counter talking to Taylor. I approach them. “I’m ready,” I tell Taylor.

“Colin agreed to give you a ride,” he says looking over at the tall guy leaning on the counter.

Colin stands straighter and puts his hand out to shake mine. “Hey, nice to finally meet the infamous Jack.”

I look at him suspiciously. “Nice to meet you too,” I say.

He smiles and shows off a row of bright white teeth. “No, really I watched you when I was younger and well still do, until recently.”

I blush, and so does he. Sorry, that was weird,” he says.

I shrug. “it’s okay. Just didn’t expect that to be honest.”

“Yeah, you inspired me to do this man. Come on let’s go.”

I follow Colin out to his Mustang GT, it perplexes me cause how the hell is he supposed to fold himself into that car. I get in on the passenger side. “Nice car, so why the cam model/escort stuff?”

He smiles. “I like my body, and I like people watching me.”

“So, you aren’t in it for the money?”

He thinks it over. “Not really. I go to school, and my parents pay for everything. The cash is just a bonus. Like I said, I like people watching me.”

I just nod my head. “That’s cool I guess.”

“You know you are sexy right?” he comments.

“Thanks…you know Taylor has a rule of no dating co-workers, right?”

He smirks. “He doesn’t have to know everything. So wanna give me the address or what?”

I give him the address, I start looking at my phone. I really don’t know what to say to him. He’s a bit intense and kind of weird. I download Instagram onto the phone and log in, and of course, the first picture that pops up is from Gavin. It shows him laying in the hospital bed with his little brother. An instant pang of guilt hits me in the gut.

“Oh, so you have a crush on Gavin Castiglione? Holy shit the dirty, dirty, dirty things I would let him do to me and the things I would do to him! I have always wanted someone to leak his nudes but no such luck yet,” Colin says looking over with a grin on his face.

I shrug. “I don’t. He is the celeb, and it would be shitty for someone to do that to him.”

“That’s what makes him the perfect one!” Colin tells me and puts his hand on my thigh.

I look at his long fingers on my thigh and look up to him and he has the massive grin on his face, “Can I help you?”

“Dude, you are so fucking sexy. You don’t realize how many fantasies I have had about you ever since I found your cam show. I think it’s awesome that we work together now, can I be honest with you?” he asks now rubbing my thigh.

“Might as well, you haven’t held back since I met you,” I say with no emotion.

“I want to take you out and have a wonderful night with you,” he says grinning and looks down. I can clearly see he is tenting in his shorts.

I let out a laugh. “That’s not gonna happen.”

Colin scrunches his eyebrows together. “Why? Don’t think you can handle my dick? Scared you actually may like me?”

“No, you aren’t my type, and Taylor doesn’t condone workers sleeping or messing around together.”

“You mean to tell me, not one other person has slept around or anything?” he asks taking his hand off my thigh.

I shift uncomfortably. “I’m sure there has been, but they probably kept it quiet. I don’t get involved in the drama. I come in to do my job and leave.”

“Oh, like stay depressed in ‘your room?’ What, are you and Taylor fucking? Is that why you don’t want me?” he asks.

“What the fuck is wrong with you? No, Taylor is straight, and I don’t know you other than the fact you are new to working for Taylor. Maybe you had every boy falling for your cocky attitude back home, but it doesn’t work like that in the world. People don’t give a fuck how hot you are or how big your dick is. They just want to get off and after that, you’re nothing to them.”

The cocky grin is no longer on his face. I can see he looks uncomfortable. We don’t say anything for most of the ride, the only thing is the GPS telling us where to go. This ride honestly seems like it is taking forever, and I am freezing. I watch as Colin reaches over and hits the seat warmer button and pretty soon, I start to feel warmer. I look down to my phone, there are no new messages. I don’t know why there would be considering I have isolated myself for so long.

We finally pull up to my aunt’s house, and Colin puts the car in park and looks over at me. “I’m sorry Josh, I was acting like a dick. I get cocky at times because I am so used to getting what I want that I never thought to consider that I would be rejected so hard. It annoyed me, and I thought you were playing hard to get. But I was wrong again. I’m not a pretentious dick all the time, I promise. Look, I want to start over let me take you out. Just friends, nothing more, to show you that I am not an asshole.”

I think it over and I hate the way he is looking at me like an expectant child. “We could do that. Look, Colin, I am not usually this cold, but I don’t like to be treated like I am an object granted I am a cam boy. I just have a lot of personal shit going on.”

“I get it, man, I’ll let you get inside let me know if you need someone to come pick you up.”

“Thanks for the ride,” I tell him and get out of the car.

I feel like garbage, and it’s cold as I make my way up the steps of the sidewalk. I fish out my keys from my pocket, unlock the door, and Colin takes off once I open the door. The warm heat hits me, and I see my aunt peek around the corner.

“Well hot damn, if it isn’t my long-lost nephew!” she says coming around the corner to hug me.

My aunt is shorter than me, but if no one knew she wasn’t my mother she could pass for it. I hug her back, and she swats my arm. “Joshua Troy if you ever go a week without checking in with me I will beat you black and blue!”

I follow her into the kitchen and sit on the stool at the bar. “I’m sorry Aunt Lydia. Just needed to get myself together.”

She leans on the counter and picks up a mug that more than likely has coffee in it. “What happened?”

I let out a sigh and run my hand through my hair. “Well, I was going for a new job, and stuff happened. I fell and got a concussion, was taken to the hospital, Joe showed up, and well, you can guess how that went. He ended up outing me to my boss’s son. So, I checked myself out and went to Taylor’s. I would have told you, but I broke my phone and had to wait for a new one.”

I see the look of sympathy in her eyes, “I know sweetie. Joe told me most of it.”

“How accurate was he?”

She sets the mug and comes over to me and pulls me into her. “He’s been here almost every day. He knows he messed up, and he blames himself for damn near all of it. He’s in his room, I think it would be good for you two to go have a talk. Then I need to speak with both of you after the two of you come to some sort of agreement.”

I look at her. “Do I have to?”

“Yes. I know Joe cannot keep his mouth shut, but he really does love you. I am not taking his said and I told him he was wrong, but the two of you are twins and will need each other.”

I roll my eyes, which gets a laugh from her, and get up from the stool. I start through the living room and into the hall. I have half a mind to just go into my room and sleep; but instead, I open Joe’s door and he’s still passed out in his bed. I shut the door and crawl over him and snuggle up to him. I smile, cause Joe used to do this to me when we were twelve. He would get out of his bed and come into mine when he had a bad dream or just wanted to be close to me. Somewhere down the line, we lost that connection. I remember when we were kids, maybe six or seven and you couldn’t tell us apart, we wanted to dress the same and do the same things. That lasted until we were teenagers; then we just split apart.

I put my cold hands on his neck, he slaps them away. “That shit is cold,” he mumbles.

“It’s cold outside,” I say.

His eyes pop open and he turns to face me. “Josh?”

Well, it’s not a mirror,” I say smirking.

“When was the last time we shared a bed?” he asks smiling as he turns over to face me.

I scoot back and give him some space and get under the covers. We both prop ourselves up on an elbow facing each other. “I think the last time we were in the same bed, we were twelve and you had a nightmare.”

He nods. “I think you’re right. I used to have so many nightmares.”

“I know, you always woke me up,” I say.

“Josh, I am sorry. I am such a fucking terrible brother to you, and I get it why you are pissed off at me. Hell, if I was you, I would be pissed as well. I wouldn’t want to talk to me either. I know how much I fucked up our relationship. I shouldn’t have outed you to mom. I didn’t know what she was going to be like that. I shouldn’t have accusied you of fucking Gavin, but I just assumed when you said you worked for his dad. I realized I never truly apologized about the fucked-up shit did. I just figured you had to forgive me cause we were brothers; and I never stopped to actually talk with you about this. I just talked at you and expected you to forgive me,” Joe says, and I can tell he is sincere about this.

“Joe, we have a damaged relationship. You know it. I know it. I think a lot of it is that you try to control me because you think it’ll make up for what you did.” Joe tries to interrupt me but closes his mouth. “I know you were trying to make up for it, but Joe, you were suffocating me. The more you wanted to be my protector or guardian, I pushed back. I didn’t need that. I just needed my brother who supported me no matter what and was there when I needed him. I am not saying it was all your fault. I wouldn’t try to tell you how it felt. I just shut down and ran out on it. We are both to blame for this. You know I do love you and miss you a lot. You’re my fucking twin man. I always want us to be close, but you have to understand, I’ve become more independent and I don’t need you acting like an overprotective parent to me.”

Joe takes a few minutes to process this. I know he is trying not to cry I see the tears in his eyes. “Josh, I’m so sorry. I have felt so guilty for all the shit mom did to you when I outed you that I wanted to try and protect you from everything. I never considered you aren’t that scared beaten little kid anymore; that you know how to take care of yourself. I felt like I failed as a brother when mom kicked you out, so I have just been in overdrive trying to make up for it and in doing that, I have pushed you away. It’s taken a lot of self-reflecting, and when I saw you in the hospital bed, I lost it. I was scared that you were going to die. I know I was overreacting and feared I was actually going to lose my twin for good. That something was seriously wrong with you. I just went into overdrive and I didn’t stop to think about what I was saying. My biggest fear is that I am going to have to face the world without you. It’s been my biggest fear since mom kicked you out and I couldn’t find you to tell you about Aunt Lydia. Half the time you weren’t in school. I guess that’s when I started to act like an overprotective parent,” he says.

I let everything Joe said sink in. “Joe, I love you, you are my twin. Nothing is going to change it at all. I also need you to understand, I am the same age as you and I know how to make my own decisions for my own well-being. I love my job, and I enjoy my life mostly. I don’t enjoy you acting like a parent to me. You are my brother and I get you want to protect me and there is a time and place for that. I can’t have you outing me or going off the rails when I get hurt. I am not saying we are going to be tight as fuck after today, but maybe it’s not all lost.”

“I don’t expect you to just up and forgive me. But, at least you know I have good intentions. Just a shit way of executing them.”

I laugh. “Yeah, I am well aware of how you execute things.”

“I’m sorry I said that stuff in front of Gavin. How much did I fuck that up?”

I give a grim look. “You didn’t fuck that up I did.”

“What were you doing with him?”

I let out a laugh. “That shit was wild. I was actually working for his dad. He wanted me to be friends with Gavin cause he believes Gavin is lonely. Especially after his mother died. I can see why his life gets insane and he really doesn’t have anyone he can rely on. They either want to be seen in the limelight or use him for clout.”

Joe gives me a quizzical look. “So how did you fuck it up?”

“I left him a note and checked out of the hospital. Told him I wished I could be that friend but my life is fucked up enough as it is.”

Joe shoves me. “You mean after he poured his heart out you dipped on him?”

I nod. “I know, but it’s complicated. I could be seen with him and what if he finds out about my job.”

“You should tell him, maybe you can work with his dad. Josh this is something that could actually make your life better and you want to throw it away?”

“Joe, it’s more complicated than that.”

“How, he already knows you’re gay and accepts it,” Joe says sitting up.

I don’t say anything I just lay there with my hands on my forehead. How do I explain to Joe the complications this could cause for Gavin? He is way better not being friends with me. “Cause he’s gay Joseph. Gavin is gay and is not out of the closet. If word got out that he was friends with a cam model who is gay, well, they will put two and two together and he doesn’t need that. And my life- OUR life- would be in the spotlight.”

He doesn’t answer cause there is a knock on the door. “Come in,” Joe says.

Aunt Lydia comes into the room and sits in the computer chair. “Look at my two handsome boys.”

“I’m more handsome!” Joe says propping himself up on an elbow causing me to have to sit up.

I shove him in the back. “Shut up Joe.”

Our Aunt shakes her head. “Boys I have wanted to talk to you for a while about something important.”

“I know what it is……” Joe says in all seriousness.

“You do?” Aunt Lydia asks.

He shakes his head. “Yeah, Josh is adopted,” he says trying not to laugh.

I pop him in the back of the head. “JOESEPH!”

“Sorry!” he says laughing.

Lydia smiles. “It’s about your mother boys.”

We stop messing around and give our full focus to Aunt Lydia. “What about the bitch?” I ask.

She gives me a sad stare. “She has a very aggressive brain tumor.”

“How aggressive?” Joe asks.

“They don’t know, but they are giving her maybe four months to live,” she says.

“Why are you telling us this?” I ask.

Lydia thinks about this before she answers. “She wants to come back. She wants to make things right with you two.”

“Wait, as in move in here?” Joe asks.

Lydia nods. “She wants the chance to make up for the damage she’s done.”

Joe turns to look at me with a concerned look. “Do we have a choice?” he asks, looking back at Lydia.

She jerks back a little bit. “Of course you do baby. This is both yours and your brother’s choice. Yes, she is my sister, but what she did was unforgivable.”

Joe looks at me and I look at him. “I…I..”

“I don’t think it’s a good idea,” Joe says firmly.

“Is that what you really want?” she asks.

He nods, “Yeah, she’s my mother cause she gave birth. It’s not like she was ever a great mom. I can’t forgive her for what she’s done to Josh what she did to us. Aunt Lydia, I know she’s your sister, but she was a terrible person to us. If you want her here, we will respect your decision; but I won’t stay here.”

“I’m not putting you and Josh out by bringing her here. There is a nursing home not far from here that her fiancé can put her in. I can go see her.”

“I’m sorry Aunt Lydia, but I just can’t be around her,” I finally say.

“No sweetie, it’s ok. There is nothing to be sorry for.” The doorbell interrupts her, and she leaves to goes to answer it.

I feel my phone start buzzing in my sweats. Joe’s starts buzzing as well. I check my phone, I am getting bombarded with Instagram notifications. “What the hell is going on I haven’t posted anything.”

“It’s cause Gavin tagged you in a picture,” Joe says looking at his phone. He shows me his phone. He is on Gavin’s profile and there is a black and white picture of Gavin in his Calvin Klein boxers. He is leaned over with his arms on the barrier of the patio we were on in New York. He is looking at me with a massive smile on his face. There I am standing next to the hottest guy, who is barely clothed, and I am in sweats and a hoodie. I remember exactly what we were talking about- how lazy I was and shortening his name to Gav.

I read the caption, “We had one incredible afternoon and now I don’t know if we will ever have that again Joshy. But I never felt so comfortable with anyone in my entire life.”

“Oh shit, he dropped the @ on you, and has a pet name for you!” Joe says.

Aunt Lydia comes back. “Josh, there is this pretty blonde girl waiting on you in the living room.”

*************************************************************************************

(Gavin’s POV)

I sit in the back of the SUV sweating. I didn’t know how else to get his attention other than to tag him in a photo. I know I should have talked to him about this, but he wouldn’t answer me on anything. Fuck, it was a long shot that he is at his aunt’s house at all. I feel like a coward for having Jane go in my place, but I didn’t want to chance someone spotting me and then a hundred people show up here. I finally look back at my phone for the first time since posting the picture. I feel butterflies in my stomach. It’s as if I came out publicly, even though that’s not what this is. I’m just saying I missed my friend, even though I don’t know if that’s what you can call us.

My phone lags for a second and Xander’s name pops up on my phone, “Hello?”

“Gavin, are you serious right now!” he yells.

“What?” I ask, knowing damn well what he means.

“Why would you do that to him?”

“All I did was post a picture of me and a friend. That’s it,” I tell him.

I can hear Xander sigh. “You know that’s not all this will amount too. You need to take it down before more damage is done. If I don’t like my privacy invaded how do you think he feels?”

“I wasn’t thinking,” I admit; and I really wasn’t. I just didn’t want to lose him. And by doing that, I may have actually lost him.

“Gavin, you knew what you were doing. You’re too smart to not think.”

“Xander, I gotta go,” I tell him.

“Okay...I hope you didn’t screw this up.”

I tell him I’ll talk later when I see Jane and Josh coming out of the house; and Josh looks pissy. I don’t think I can blame him. The more I think about it, the more I realize it was a dick move. He yanks open the door and slides in. Hey,” I say.

“Really? ‘Hey’ is all you’re gonna say to me?”

It catches me off guard. “Look, I tried to call and text you…you wouldn’t answer.”

He shakes his head. “When someone doesn’t answer, that normally means they want to be left alone. You know nothing about my life Gavin. I’m not as privileged as you. I am a private person and your whole life is one massive spotlight.”

“What exactly is private in your life?” I snap.

He gives me a dirty look. “What does that even mean?”

I take a deep breath. “I know all about you and your job, Jack. I thought I gave you plenty of signals when we were alone, but you didn’t pick up on them. I was the customer that paid for a private show where you just sat around in your black silk boxers and we just chatted.”

“That was you?” he asks.

I nod. “I wanted to tell you. But then you said you were a twin and I didn’t want to say something and it not be you and say what the job is. I know I fucked up and I should have said something sooner. I just didn’t want to scare you off.”

“Wait, you knew?” Jane says from up front.

I look at her in the mirror. “You knew?” I ask back.

“It’s my job to know things.”

Josh is looking between both of us. “Jesus Christ!” he says.

“Can we talk about this?”

He laughs. “Talk about what? The fact you knew about my actual job, or the fact that you just put the spotlight on me?”

“All of the above? You told me you wouldn’t mind my hectic life.”

“That’s because it would have been focused on you! You practically came out on social media!” he says.

I give him a weird look. “What do you mean?”

Josh lets out a huff of air. “I know you’re gay, Gavin.”

“I…” I close my mouth.

“I’ve known you were gay. Plus, you just admitted to me you were the one on a male cam website.”

“I just wanted you to talk to me,” I say almost pleading with him.

“I just wanted to get my spiraling life in order Gavin. Things aren’t simple for me. I was withdrawn out of my classes, and shit is complicated with Joe, and I need to work as well.”

“All you have done is work since you checked yourself out of the hospital.”

Josh rolls his eyes at me. “Gavin, what do you want from me?”

“I just want you in my life, Josh. I don’t know what it is about you, but I feel calm and relaxed with you. And when we are just having fun, I’m comfortable. I don’t get that a lot in my life. I would like to think I have that same effect of you,” I tell him, trying to control my voice to stop it from wavering.

No one says anything for what seems like forever. Jane doesn’t even move or look in the mirror. Josh has a knee to his chest and is looking at his fingernails. I am looking out the window wondering if this is going to get any easier. I notice someone looking out of the blinds from his aunt’s house. It must be Joe wondering what’s going on.

“Can one of you say something, because it is getting really uncomfortable in this SUV. Gavin what you did was fucked up. You should have talked to him about posting the picture. Josh, you should have had the balls to talk to Gavin instead of hiding away like a fifteen-year-old. You two are both adults; you need to act like it!” Jane says turning to look at us.

“Are you serious?” I ask.

“Yeah, you are acting like children. You both fucked up, now it’s time to move on. It’s done now and can’t be undone,” she says snippily.

“Yeah, well, unlike Gavin, I have no one to do damage control for my life,” Josh says.

I rub my forehead. “What the hell does that mean?”

Josh scowls at me. “It means, thanks to you and saying who I was I have to change my life and keep my life a secret, which I was already trying to do. Plus, now my job and what I do could be messed up.”

I can’t even argue with him, because he’s right. I didn’t think about all these repercussions. “Your Instagram is on private, I know for a fact cause I had to accept the request to follow you when I had your phone in New York. So at least that’s covered.”

“Oh yeah, what about where I tagged Joe in my profile as his twin? Did you think about that?”

Okay, I admit this wasn’t the best decision I have ever made.”

“If it wasn’t for the fact I am weaker than you and Jane would snap me in half, I would strangle you right now,” Josh says trying to stay serious.

“Do I see a smirk?” I ask, grinning.

He covers his mouth and looks out the window. “I hate you!”

“No, you don’t. I’m sorry I fucked up on this. But like I said, I just didn’t know how to get you to talk to me; so, it was a last-ditch effort.”

“I would like to say I had no idea what he was planning,” Jane says from the front seat.

I look at the house and see Joe in the window. “I think your brother is spying on us.”

Josh shakes his head. “Pretty sure he is. Why don’t you both come in and we can figure out what the hell we do next since my phone has been blowing up since the picture was posted.”

Before Jane turns off the vehicle, the phone that is hooked to the Bluetooth starts ringing. I already know it’s my dad. Jane looks at me and I shrug. She hits the green button. “Gavin Merrick! What the hell were you thinking posting a picture of you and Joshua?” my dad asks.

“Good morning,” I say back.

“Gavin don’t be a smart ass. That post is like admitting you are gay. Is this what you want? To be out in public? I will support you; we will all support you. But I thought you wanted to keep your love life and relationships private. Did you talk to Josh? Do you know how this may affect him? I am sending Nico over to find him. I don’t want him to get mobbed from fans. This is already picking up steam and Nikki is trying to reign it in, but we need to know what you want to do? This effects Josh’s and his family’s lives just as much. There are things he would rather not come out.”

“Dad, I know,” I tell him.

“No, Gavin. I am not just giving some speech. Josh is a very private person. He doesn’t want certain things in the media about him.”

“Dad, I know about his actual job! He’s sitting right here next to me.”

“Oh! Hello Joshua,” he says.

Hi Clint.”

“I am so sorry. I didn’t mean for this situation to get out of hand. I didn’t think my son would be so thoughtless and do something like this. I can send some people over to make sure there is no interruption at your home for a few days, until this blows over.” It’s just our social media. I don’t think it will be necessary.”

“Well, if you feel like you need it, just say the word. Now Gavin, what are you wanting us to do?”

“I will take care of it. I made the mess,” I say confidently.

I hear my dad sigh. “Okay, I am trusting you.”

We hang up the phone, I take my cell out of my pocket, unlock it, and hand it to Josh. “I am going to go live on Instagram.”

“Okay, why are you giving me the phone?”

“So you can hold it for me!” I reach over and turn the front of the iPhone towards me and press the live button on Instagram.

Instantly, there are hundreds of people joining the live. Hey, guys!” I say waving.

I brush my hair out of my eyes and read some of the comments. Most were saying hi or to shout them out. That’s when people started asking about the picture. I say, “Hey guys!” one more time and wait until I hit well over a thousand viewers.

“Okay, so I am sure most, if not all of you, have seen my post. It was just a harmless post guys. A fantastic photographer took it in New York. It wasn’t part of the shoot I was doing, but yes, my friend Josh was with me and that photo just captured exactly how our friendship is. Yes, I was in just boxers because I was doing the photo shoot. Yes, pictures are to come from that! The photo of me and Josh was one that the photographer thought I would love because, in this business, you don’t get to have many friends who aren’t famous. Josh isn’t famous and has no desire to be famous. He doesn’t care that I am a model or who my family is. So, yes, it was an appreciation post to him thanking him for the best damn friendship I have. I do ask all of you to please respect his privacy. He isn’t one to want to be in the spotlight. Now, I have to get going. I am starving. Big things are coming!” With that, I end the live.

“Think that’ll work?” Josh asks.

I shrug. “No idea. Maybe it’ll calm them for a bit. I can’t promise anything.”

“I guess you and Jane should meet my aunt so we can explain the situation in case anyone does creep on her lawn,” Josh says.

“I am going to get out first and check to make sure no one is around,” Jane says, getting out of the SUV.

“I really am sorry. I know I fucked this up,” I tell him.

He doesn’t reply cause Jane wraps her knuckles on the window. I motion to get out and we do. I follow Josh up the steps into his aunt’s house. It was nice and warm inside better than being outside in the cold. “Hey Aunt Lydia, do you want to come into the living room. I have two guests here,” Josh yells.

Josh invites us to sit on the couch. I take a seat and Jane stands by the windows. Joe walks into the living room. “Gavin, I didn’t expect you to be here.”

“Yeah, I kind of messed up, so here I am,” I say.

“Dude, my Instagram is blowing up!” Joe says with a smirk while sitting on the loveseat across from me. Josh shakes his head and sits near me.

A skinny lady comes in and I stand up. She stops when she sees me. “Don’t I know you?”

“It’s very possible ma’am,” I say, extending my hand. “I’m Gavin Castiglione.”

“Ah, yes that social media boy that…”

Josh cuts her off. “Aunt Lydia, Gavin has come by to tell you that there may be fans outside the house.”

She scolds, “Now why on earth would they be outside the house?”

I take a breath. “I kind of messed up and posted a picture of Josh and me in New York when he was there working with my dad. We are good friends and that’s hard to come by in this business. I kind of tagged him in the photo and sent the whole ‘fandom’ into a frenzy on who he is.”

She smiles. “Now, didn’t you think twice about that?”

“Honestly, I didn’t. You see, Josh kind of disappeared. I thought I did something wrong and I just posted it to get his attention. I never thought about the backlash because it is rare to have a friend that isn’t in the spotlight.”

She just laughs. “It’ll do him good to get out more.”

That’s when the idea hits me. “Hey, why don’t we go to Hawaii?” I look over at Josh.

“What?” he asks.

“Yeah, I know the New York trip was ruined, so let’s go to Hawaii. Joe can come as well. Plus, Xander will be healed and he will need to get out more as well. Ms. Lydia, you can come as well.”

She laughs. “No thank you, dear. I think it would be a wonderful thing for you boys to have a weekend out.”

“Awesome, I can have it all planned out,” I say and look at Josh who has a nervous look on his face.

“Dude! Hawaii! Are you serious?” Joe says excitedly. “Come on Josh, you know you have to be happy about that!”

“I’ll need to talk to my job,” he says.

“I am sure they will be good with it, I have a lot of sway,” I say smirking.

What are your thoughts?

Thank you all for the continued support and comments!
Kd_stories
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Chapter Comments

Well, that did not end the way I thought it would.

 

I think this would be a good time for Josh to find a safer occupation.  His secret identity is pretty much compromised, and I don't think that situation with the picture will  go away any time soon.  What Gavin did was stupid for sure, but Josh was already sort of thrust into the spotlight when he was seen leaving the hotel with Gavin.  With that much attention, it won't be long until someone figures everything out (like Colin, if he hasn't already).  Maybe knowing that Gavin still wants him around will be enough.

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Josh's big roadblock in furthering his friendship with Gavin was his job as a cam model:  He didn't want Gavin compromised when--not if--word leaked out as to what he really does for a living. Well, guess what? Gavin already knows that Josh is "Jack," and has virtually outed himself, compromised Josh's true identity, and possibly destroyed Josh's career as a cam model. The irony is that Gavin has done to Josh what Josh was afraid of doing to Gavin.  Of course, by doing so, Gavin has removed the biggest impediment to their budding friendship (but not in a good way) and has aggravated the other stumbling block:  Josh does not want to be in the spotlight--which is where Gavin has thrust him!

 

Glad to see Joe and Josh start the process of reconciliation, with Josh understanding that Joe's actions, while wrong, were prompted by the right reasons--i.e, they were manifestations of love (with a little guilt thrown into the bargain).

 

Regarding mom's wish for reconciliation: I feel that she wants it more for her sake than the twins', but closure and forgiveness are better than a lifetime of bitter memories, so the twins would benefit even if the mother's motivation is selfish. 

 

I love the idea of a Hawaiian vacation:  If the public thinks that Josh and Gavin are an item based on the New York picture, just wait until the paparazzi start releasing the Hawaiian pix! (And with both twins in Hawaii, the likelihood of mistaken identity just doubles the fun!)

 

Edited by travlbug
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Hopefully Josh will forgive his Mom for her homophobic actions before she passes, and there just may be a chance for a loving relationship to develop between Josh and Gavin.  Gavin has pretty much outed himself, but times have changed, celebrities are coming out today, and most of the time, fans don't care anymore.  So what if someone is gay?

 

I hope there is another chapter or two, and it's sad that Joe and Josh are going to lose their Mom.  It's been an awesome story!

Edited by Douglas Spencer
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I personally love the irony of Josh being a cam model but saying he doesn't like being treated like an object. Add in the fact pretty much the only person who talked to him in a private session ends up being Gavin. The Hawaii trip could end up being FUBARed or it could end up being a wonderful experience for everyone. Good job, you must have gotten an awesome editor ;) hehehe. I'm glad I have the opportunity to help you and you have the patience to deal with my new schedule. 

Edited by JayT
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Am I the only person who feels like this is all a bit out of proportion for what actually transpired?  Their “amazing afternoon” together was a brief and superficial conversation in a hotel room for like 2 hours wherein Gavin had a private photo shoot and Josh was forced to undergo scrutiny by private security people.  They were supposed to attend an event together which never happened and then they were on a jet back home and Josh had a concussion.  I’m not getting where this supposed connection happened.  They barely know each other and have spent zero time in an intimate one-on-one setting.  

 

To me Gavin comes off a little desperate and weird posting a picture of some guy he barely knows who hasn’t spoken to him in weeks.  I feel several steps in the building of their relationship haven’t happened naturally, and this whole thing feels melodramatic and forced instead of organic. 

3 hours ago, spikey582 said:

Am I the only person who feels like this is all a bit out of proportion for what actually transpired?  Their “amazing afternoon” together was a brief and superficial conversation in a hotel room for like 2 hours wherein Gavin had a private photo shoot and Josh was forced to undergo scrutiny by private security people.  They were supposed to attend an event together which never happened and then they were on a jet back home and Josh had a concussion.  I’m not getting where this supposed connection happened.  They barely know each other and have spent zero time in an intimate one-on-one setting.  

 

To me Gavin comes off a little desperate and weird posting a picture of some guy he barely knows who hasn’t spoken to him in weeks.  I feel several steps in the building of their relationship haven’t happened naturally, and this whole thing feels melodramatic and forced instead of organic. 

Have you ever met some and just felt at ease with them? Like you’ve known them your entire life? That’s what Gavin feels maybe they haven’t had some massive private one on one but to him he never gets that. Whatvseems superficial to you may. Not seem like that to Gavin. There is always a motive to the people that want to get to know him. As with josh he has no motive at all. Gavin has motives for the Hawaii trip is to get to know him better granted it could or could not happen since it won’t be just the two of them. Gavin’s hoping to make it feel more “organic” we haven’t heard what Josh thinks at all on it. He keeps his emotions bottled. For josh the connection started when Gavin didn’t judge him that afternoon he’s always had trust issues and I’m not saying he’s over them at all but he could start seeing something good in all his bad luck that he has. Trust me things you’ve pointed out won’t go unanswered or touched on. 

Edited by KD_stories
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4 hours ago, JayT said:

I personally love the irony of Josh being a cam model but saying he doesn't like being treated like an object. Add in the fact pretty much the only person who talked to him in a private session ends up being Gavin. The Hawaii trip could end up being FUBARed or it could end up being a wonderful experience for everyone. Good job, you must have gotten an awesome editor ;) hehehe. I'm glad I have the opportunity to help you and you have the patience to deal with my new schedule. 

Josh likes to feel empowered by the fact he has a body people want it/him but it’s the one thing he has absolute control over 

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4 hours ago, Douglas Spencer said:

Hopefully Josh will forgive his Mom for her homophobic actions before she passes, and there just may be a chance for a loving relationship to develop between Josh and Gavin.  Gavin has pretty much outed himself, but times have changed, celebrities are coming out today, and most of the time, fans don't care anymore.  So what if someone is gay?

 

I hope there is another chapter or two, and it's sad that Joe and Josh are going to lose their Mom.  It's been an awesome story!

It’s just getting started 😉 I don’t have plans to end it anytime soon 

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11 hours ago, travlbug said:

Josh's big roadblock in furthering his friendship with Gavin was his job as a cam model:  He didn't want Gavin compromised when--not if--word leaked out as to what he really does for a living. Well, guess what? Gavin already knows that Josh is "Jack," and has virtually outed himself, compromised Josh's true identity, and possibly destroyed Josh's career as a cam model. The irony is that Gavin has done to Josh what Josh was afraid of doing to Gavin.  Of course, by doing so, Gavin has removed the biggest impediment to their budding friendship (but not in a good way) and has aggravated the other stumbling block:  Josh does not want to be in the spotlight--which is where Gavin has thrust him!

 

Glad to see Joe and Josh start the process of reconciliation, with Josh understanding that Joe's actions, while wrong, were prompted by the right reasons--i.e, they were manifestations of love (with a little guilt thrown into the bargain).

 

Regarding mom's wish for reconciliation: I feel that she wants it more for her sake than the twins', but closure and forgiveness are better than a lifetime of bitter memories, so the twins would benefit even if the mother's motivation is selfish. 

 

I love the idea of a Hawaiian vacation:  If the public thinks that Josh and Gavin are an item based on the New York picture, just wait until the paparazzi start releasing the Hawaiian pix! (And with both twins in Hawaii, the likelihood of mistaken identity just doubles the fun!)

 

Josh still doesnt understand what to think about Gavin knowing about it all.  I think he is on shaky ground cause he wanted to leave that out of the equation. 

I dont think they are completely ok (Joe and Josh), but Josh is tired of fighting every battle front he comes across.

I think Joe will forgive his mom easily, it's Josh that will have the issue with everything only time will tell. 

Hawaiian vacation is going to be something that's for sure! 

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14 hours ago, Shadow086 said:

Well, that did not end the way I thought it would.

 

I think this would be a good time for Josh to find a safer occupation.  His secret identity is pretty much compromised, and I don't think that situation with the picture will  go away any time soon.  What Gavin did was stupid for sure, but Josh was already sort of thrust into the spotlight when he was seen leaving the hotel with Gavin.  With that much attention, it won't be long until someone figures everything out (like Colin, if he hasn't already).  Maybe knowing that Gavin still wants him around will be enough.

I think you are right the situation with the picture is far from over. Josh does need to find a new occupation, Colin is a wild card I don't think Josh knows how to deal with him just yet

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While I understand where @spikey582 is coming from, I see Josh and Gavin's interactions differently: Josh has been masturbating to Gavin's image for years and knows him as a public figure, and Gavin has secretly been fascinated by Josh's cam persona as "Jack" to the point where he hires him to lounge for an hour in underwear just to talk with him--try to get to know him. Thus, while they "barely know each other" in a literal sense, they have known of each other for a significant period of time: each has had fantasies of the other, and Gavin in particular is enamored enough to want to pursue a real relationship. (One has to wonder how much Clint knew of Gavin's infatuation with Josh to get them to share a hotel room in New York!) Further, Josh's depression at isolating himself from Gavin (at the beginning of the present chapter) suggests that Josh may reciprocate those feelings. The Hawaiian vacation will give our "lovers" time to get to know each other in reality--to remove the preconceptions--and to see if the bedrock is there for a lasting relationship. 

 

As an aside, I love the turnabout where Gavin hires Josh to model underwear for their first talk, while Gavin models the underwear for their second talk! (I still think that both of them are wearing too much! 😂)

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1 hour ago, travlbug said:

While I understand where @spikey582 is coming from, I see Josh and Gavin's interactions differently: Josh has been masturbating to Gavin's image for years and knows him as a public figure, and Gavin has secretly been fascinated by Josh's cam persona as "Jack" to the point where he hires him to lounge for an hour in underwear just to talk with him--try to get to know him. Thus, while they "barely know each other" in a literal sense, they have known of each other for a significant period of time: each has had fantasies of the other, and Gavin in particular is enamored enough to want to pursue a real relationship. (One has to wonder how much Clint knew of Gavin's infatuation with Josh to get them to share a hotel room in New York!) Further, Josh's depression at isolating himself from Gavin (at the beginning of the present chapter) suggests that Josh may reciprocate those feelings. The Hawaiian vacation will give our "lovers" time to get to know each other in reality--to remove the preconceptions--and to see if the bedrock is there for a lasting relationship. 

 

As an aside, I love the turnabout where Gavin hires Josh to model underwear for their first talk, while Gavin models the underwear for their second talk! (I still think that both of them are wearing too much! 😂)

I can’t comment on any of this because of potential spoilers. 😁😁😁

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