The Tribuo - 15. Part II, chapter 8

- VIII -

December 24th

16:45

On Christmas Eve, I went to pick up Katie around eleven in the morning. We stopped by Dairy Queen, got some ice-cream, went back to my house, watched TV, and talked about random stuff. I cracked up when during one of the episodes that were revolving around Number Six, she thoughtfully said:

“Well, she is just an intellectual diamond in a glamorous wrapper, isn’t she?”

I laughed at that. Then around 3:30 or so, she sighed and said that she really needed to go back to her Uncle’s house for a few hours.

“Hey, you wanna come over tonight?” I asked. “I’ll come and get you…”

“I might,” she nodded, wrapping her scarf around her neck and pulling on her fluffy hat. “I’ll call you, okay?”

“Okay.”

…After I drove her back, I came home, finished watching my movie, and was thinking about making some popcorn, when the doorbell rang. I opened the door and blinked when I saw DeeDee. She looked like she was about to take a plunge into some scary, unknown depths.

“Hey,” I said.

“Hey,” she breathed. “Look, about what you said yesterday…”

“Wanna come in?” I asked. “It’s cold outside. I’ll make coffee.”

“Yeah…” she nodded. “Yeah, sure…”

She came in, pulled off her coat, and followed me into the kitchen. I started working my coffeemaker, and DeeDee just watched me.

“Want a tortilla?” I asked and she shook her head.

“No. Andrew, about what you said… Us being best friends and all… I was thinking about it all night… I never said anything to you because…” she shrugged helplessly. “I was afraid that you’d hate me…”

I frowned.

“Lawrence, are you out of your mind? I would never hate you!”

“Or worse,” she said in a small voice. “That you’d be disgusted…”

I stared at her. The coffeemaker started to hiss quietly, spreading coffee aroma all over the kitchen.

“DeeDee,” I said. “I have no idea why you would ever think that, but…”

“Andrew…” she took a deep breath.

I glanced at the coffeemaker that stopped hissing. Coffee was ready. I grabbed two mugs out of the cupboard.

“Lawrence,” I said without looking at her. “Are you gay or something?”

“No,” she said. “Well… I don’t know… Andrew…”

“Oh, God,” I said and turned towards her. “Don’t tell me that you have a crush on Ellie!”

She stared at me, eyes huge, mouth agape.

“That’s it, isn’t it?” I asked numbly. “Good God, DeeDee… Why didn’t you…”

“No!” she said finally. “Jesus, Andrew! A crush on Ellie?! I would probably kill myself if that ever happened!”

I blinked and turned towards the mugs again. I started pouring coffee in them.

“Okay then,” I said. “What is it? I am officially confused now.”

I handed her one of the mugs and leaned on the counter. DeeDee took a sip out of her mug and set it on the kitchen table.

“Okay,” she said finally. “Please, don’t hate me…”

“Lawrence, I will never… Wow, what are you doing?!”

She pulled off her sweater, and started unbuttoning the shirt underneath it.

“DeeDee, what the hell are you doing?!” I had no idea what to do.

She paused before pulling off her shirt.

“Andrew…” she muttered. “I really love you, so please…”

I opened my mouth, ready to blurt something, ready to tell her to put her damn clothes back on, ready to yell at her and call her a dumbass, when she took off her shirt, and I became mute. She moved her shoulders as if she was really cold, and she wouldn’t look me in the eye. It was a good thing that I didn’t have my coffee mug in my hands at that moment -- I would definitely drop it and get hot coffee all over my bare feet.

“Andrew…” DeeDee whispered, and I just kept staring at her bare chest.

Or should I say his bare chest. Oh my God, this is not happening… I've known DeeDee since fifth grade… No way, there must be some… No freaking way!!

DeeDee finally looked at me.

“Andrew…” She took a step towards me, and I stepped backwards so fast, I almost lost my balance. “Andrew, I am sorry that I haven’t told you…”

“You… You…” was all I could say. “All the way?!” I finally managed.

“You want me to take my pants off too?” DeeDee asked in a very dark voice.

“Oh God, please don’t!” I closed my eyes. “Please, put your shirt back on…”

She (he?) started putting her clothes back on, tears streaming down her face.

“Andrew…” she muttered after she pulled on her sweater. “Look, I had a sister, okay? She died when I was, like, two… My Mom…” she wiped her face with the back of her hand. “My Mom totally lost it… So she started to treat me as if I was a girl… And then I just started thinking of myself as a girl… And then lately… I couldn’t hide this anymore... I couldn’t eat, I couldn’t sleep... And then...”

“Dee,” I said very calmly without looking at her. “I think you need to go now.”

“Andrew…” she whispered.

“I need to take some Aspirin,” I said numbly. “I’ll call you, okay?”

She opened her mouth, closed it, and bit her lower lip. Finally, she turned around and left without saying anything else. I heard her closing the front door, and then I just stood in my kitchen, staring at the paper towels. Finally, I went to one of the cupboards and pulled out a half-full bottle of Captain Morgan.

19:30

Captain Morgan was long gone, and I also finished a bottle of Merlot that I found behind some stuff in the cupboard. I was dying for a smoke, my head was spinning like no other, but every time I would think of DeeDee, I wanted more rum. My phone rang and I hiccupped.

“Hello…” I muttered after I managed to open my phone.

“Andrew?”

“Oh, hey Katie…” I hiccupped again.

“You okay?” she asked. “You sound weird.”

“I am fantastic,” I said with enthusiasm. “What’s up?”

“Andrew, what happened?” she sounded concerned, and I laughed.

“Nothing… DeeDee came over,” I said suddenly.

“And…?”

I laughed again, and then more hiccups made me stop.

“Well…” I said. “You know how I told you…” Hiccup. “...she was all weird and…” Hiccup. “...stuff?”

“Yeah,” now she sounded very careful.

“Well, tonight I found out why…” Hiccup.

“Why?” she asked and I laughed at concern in her voice.

“Oh… Okay, have you ever seen The Crying Game?”

“The Crying Game?” Now she sounded dumbfounded. “The movie?”

“Yeah, the movie,” I agreed wholeheartedly and reached for my cigarettes.

“Yes, I have,” Katie said, still confused. “What does it have to do with… Oh my God…”

“Yeah,” I started laughing and hiccupping again. “Dammit!!” I realized that I was out of cigarettes. Well, that blows.

“Andrew, are you drunk?” she sounded almost panicky, and I snorted.

“No,” I said patiently. “I am warm and fuzzy, that’s all…”

“Look, I am going to come over, okay? My Uncle will drive me, he won’t mind…”

“No,” I interrupted her immediately. “Katie… Don’t come over right now, please… I just…” Hiccup. “I seriously need to be alone right now, okay? I don’t want to do something that I would regret doing after I wake up tomorrow… I’ll call you in the morning.”

“Andrew!”

“Merry…” Hiccup. “...Christmas, Katie… Good night.”

“Andrew, wait…!”

I shut my phone off and carefully put it on the table. Then I thought for a second and turned it off completely.