The Tribuo - 36. Part IV, chapter 8

- VIII -

Wednesday

RUSSELL

I was sitting on my bed, looking at the clock. It was 6:15 in the evening, and if I wanted to be on time, I had to get off my ass and go pick up Emma. Her place wasn’t too far, but you had to drive across the bridge to get there, and sometimes, traffic on that bridge could get quite heavy. I closed my eyes. I didn’t want to go. All I wanted to do right now was to get into our living room, pull Brian away from his damn computer, and screw the consequences… I reached for the phone. I am going to call and cancel. I’ll just say that something came up, I don’t care.

I looked at the phone, and then felt like an idiot again. I didn’t have her number. And I couldn’t look it up in a phone book because I had no clue what her last name was. Well, crap. I guess I need to get off my ass. I did.

I went into the living room, and Brian glanced at me briefly, his fingers flying across the keyboard.

“Have fun,” he said coolly.

“Yeah…” I muttered. “You too… What are you doing tonight?”

Ugh, why can’t I just shut up sometimes? Just get your jacket and get out of the door, how hard is that, really?

“Don’t know yet,” he said absent-mindedly. “Might go to the club or something.”

“Oh,” I nodded. “Well, see you later…”

“Uh huh,” he said without looking up.

When I finally left, I had a very strong desire to slam the door hard enough to make his damn computer shake. I didn’t even know why the hell I was so pissed off and miserable. The whole day today Brian was really calm. To my surprise, he did get all the macaroni off the ceiling. I also found a broken kettle in the trash. That explained the noise last night. Thinking of last night immediately sent shivers down my spine. I swore under my breath and told myself to knock this shit off right now. It didn’t work. The entire way to Emma’s apartment, I kept remembering the taste of Brian’s mouth.

*****

And here we were, an hour-and-a-half after I picked her up. She was poking her asparagus with the fork, and she made it look like it was the hardest thing in the world. I kept chugging down coffee -- cup after cup. I had no idea how many refills I had by now. We talked about school, weather, school, classical music, school, biology… Oh, did I mention school? Emma wouldn’t shut up about the damn university. I didn't know what it was, but she kept babbling something about her department, other teachers, some policy thing…

At 8:45, I’ve finally had enough. I don’t know what she was trying to do. Maybe she really was trying to get me to sign up for her class, or maybe she just couldn’t wait to get this dinner over with… I looked at my watch, and she immediately straightened up.

“Would you like to go?” she asked.

Would I seem rude if I said yes?

“Let’s go,” Emma breathed. “It’s getting late anyway. I have to get up early tomorrow… For a class,” she added apologetically.

…I drove to her apartment, and for the entire ride, she didn't say a single word. She just sat there, clutching her purse the whole time. I figured that she couldn’t wait to get the hell away from me finally, and when I walked her to the front door of the building, I was dumbfounded when she tentatively asked:

“Would you like to come inside? For… Umm… Coffee…?”

I stared at her. Seriously? Is she being polite, or is she actually… I thought of Brian and almost said yes. I mean, maybe it was my chance to get this insanity out of my system for good. Then I looked up and saw some girl who was smoking on the second floor balcony. She wasn’t looking at me; she was staring somewhere straight ahead, and she had that far-away look on her face that for some reason, made me think of Brian again. I don’t even know why.

EMMA

I couldn’t believe myself. Did I just ask him to come inside for coffee? Oh, God… To my greatest surprise, my mother was mute this time, and Russell looked like he was about to say yes. And then I was thinking that maybe it wasn't so bad after all, maybe I would finally… Then I remembered about something. Well, someone, actually. And then we spoke at the same time.

“Oh, shoot! I have a friend who is…” That was me.

“I don’t think it’s a good idea.” That was him.

“…staying at my place,” I finished mechanically.

I felt like I would be the happiest person in the world if the earth just swallowed me right here. Now my mother was laughing manically in my head. Russell closed his eyes and we were silent for a couple of minutes.

“I’m going to go,” I said finally. “Thanks for a lovely evening…”

“Emma…” he said and opened his eyes, but I couldn’t handle this any longer. If I stayed here for one more second, I would start crying. So I turned around and left.

RUSSELL

Okay, that was awkward. The minute we said those two very different things at the same time, Emma looked like I slapped her on the face. Crap. Well, I am definitely not signing up for biology any time soon… She walked away from me in such a hurry, as if she suddenly remembered that she left her stove on. I looked up again, and the girl on the balcony was gone. Then it started to rain.

*****

The traffic on the way home was really light, so it took me less than twenty minutes to get there. I walked inside, and there was Brian, typing away as usual.

“You are still up,” I said, and he looked at me with confusion.

“It’s nine-thirty,” he said and I blinked.

Right… It’s not even ten in the evening yet.

“Didn’t go to the club?” I asked, and he returned to his typing again.

“Didn’t feel like it,” he said shortly. “Your date was really short.”

“Yeah,” I said uncomfortably. “It was a nice one though…”

Why did I say that? No clue.

“That’s good,” he answered absent-mindedly.

“I am going to bed,” I muttered. “Good night.”

“Uh huh,” he didn’t even look up this time.

…I was thinking about Emma and the awkwardness, when the door of my room burst open. I jumped up.

“What the hell?!” I yelled when Brian walked in, his expression furious. “You broke the bloody door! What the…”

“You think you can just toss this whole thing away, huh?” he said in an eerily calm voice.

“What?” I frowned. “Are you drunk...? What are you talking about?”

“I am not drunk,” he said, and suddenly, he was right next to me, and his eyes were darker than ever.

He grabbed me by the collar and threw me into the wall.

“Are you nuts?!” I exploded and shoved him away.

“You just gonna go ahead and ignore everything?” Now his voice wasn’t anywhere near calm. “Gonna shove all those dates in my face?! I don’t think so!”

He pinned me to the wall. I always knew that he was stronger than me, but I never realized just how much stronger. Until now.

“Get out!” I barked, and he just shook his head.

“No! I know that you want it as much as I do, I know that! And yet…”

I didn’t even have to ask him what the hell he was talking about.

“I don’t,” I said, trying to peel his hands off my shoulders. “And you don’t… This whole thing is nothing! I did research… It’s…”

“Fuck research!” he yelled. “And don’t you tell me that it means nothing! Are you trying to say that you don’t want…”

“That’s right!” I yelled back and tried to shove him away. To no avail whatsoever. “I don’t! Let go!!”

He ground his hips against mine, and I tried to stop my body from responding. Might’ve as well tried learning how to speak Japanese in one night. Actually, that would be easier.

“Really?” he said. “I beg to differ!”

“I just got back from a date,” I growled through my clenched teeth.

“Oh, that’s why you are so freaking hard right now, huh?” he laughed. “From that bag of bones? Please! You were never into anorexic types!”

“Goddammit! Knock it off!”

He pulled me away from the wall and pushed me down on the bed. Now I was pissed off.

“Let go!” I almost managed to headbutt him in the face, but at the last second, he pushed my head back with one hand, and then his mouth was all over me.

“Fucking A!” I tried pulling my arms free. “Brian, stop! Knock it off! Stop it! I don’t want this! Let go of me, you son of a bitch!”

He bit my neck so hard that I screamed.

“Goddammit!! That hurt, you bastard!”

The minute I yelled that, he let go of me immediately. I shoved him away so hard that he almost fell off the bed. I sat up and grabbed my neck. Shit, he drew blood. You gotta be kidding me!

“Get out!” I barked.

He just sat there, staring at me, his eyes huge.

“Get out!!”

No reaction.

“Fine,” I hissed. “Stay here, I don’t care! I am going to sleep on the fucking couch!”

I got off the bed and went to the door. That was when he finally spoke.

“I love you,” he said dully, and I stopped as if I was suddenly rooted to the floor.

I stood there without turning, without moving, without speaking.

“I am sorry,” he said in the same dull voice. “I will never hurt you again. Please, stay… I am leaving.”

He walked by me, stopped for several seconds, and looked like he was about to say something else. I couldn’t even look at him. I just stared at the broken door. He turned around and left without saying anything else.