The Tribuo - 20. part III, chapter 2

- II -

I wasn’t even a bit surprised when Angie didn’t show up on time. Even though she knew that she was going to spend a fabulous night at the Plaza by herself, with enough cash to buy whatever the hell she wanted, she still couldn’t help herself, but be late. It didn’t even bother me anymore -- I knew that she’d show up sooner or later. Andy, however, showed up at five sharp.

I was wondering about Andy for the longest time now. I mean, he would always ask me all those questions like, “What does it feel like to be with a guy?” or “Have you ever dated a guy and a girl at the same time?” Which I have, actually. I think I was eighteen at the time. They both found out about each other, and to my enormous surprise, my girlfriend didn’t mind the arrangement. In fact, she was turned on by it. The guy, however, was less than thrilled and dumped me on the spot. Ever since then, I stick to one person at a time.

I knew better than tell my brother about my suspicions though. I mean, first of all, Andy was just simply curious, and he probably wanted to find someone to experiment with. I was a very wrong person for that, and I would never do one of my brother’s friends. Let alone, one of his best friends. Second of all, I knew that if I as much as hinted to my brother about the whole thing, he’d probably kill me immediately. In his opinion, I was the sick freak, and I would certainly be blamed for anything that happened. One of my rules of thumb is “Don’t crap where you eat.” Screwing around with one of Scott’s best friends would certainly qualify as crapping big time.

At five minutes after five, my brother opened my door, and said that Andy was here and that he wanted to talk to me.

“Coming,” I said absent-mindedly and grabbed my smokes.

I went outside and dropped down on one of the chairs that were sitting on the front porch. Andy was following me very close, as if he was afraid that I would take off running.

“What’s up, Andy?” I asked him lazily.

He was attractive enough. I suppose, if he wasn’t Scott’s friend, I wouldn’t mind letting him to experiment with me. He had this crooked smile that made him look like he was nineteen, and his hair was always messed up.

“Well,” he sighed. “Scott told you that Cole is getting married, right?”

“Uh huh,” I said.

“Well, we are his best men…”

“Uh huh.”

“And the whole ordeal is in a month,” Andy finished, and now he had my attention.

“In a month?” I asked incredulously. “Is the girl pregnant or something?”

“I don’t think so,” he shook his head. “She and Cole have known each other since they were sixteen. She was always obsessing about the wedding… So I guess he finally caved in.”

“All the right reasons,” I muttered and Andy grinned.

“Right,” he nodded. “So I was wondering if you could go look for a tux with me or maybe…”

“Nope,” I cut him off immediately, and he blinked.

Ugh, fine. I’ll just come out and say it, I guess. Otherwise, he’ll keep coming up with other ideas and excuses. I lit a cigarette and looked at him for a few seconds.

“Andy,” I said finally. “I don’t know if you are simply curious or if you want to experiment or something…”

He opened his mouth, and I just waved my hand at him.

“I don’t care,” I said patiently. “I am not judging, making fun, or anything else. If you want it, go ahead. Just not with me, okay? And if I got the wrong idea, then I am sorry. Just blame my ego.”

He looked at me silently for several minutes, and then finally, laughed softly.

“No,” he said. “You didn’t get the wrong idea… I guess I never expected…” he shrugged. “I don’t know… To be read so easily...?”

I snorted.

“Believe me,” I said. “You are not easy to read. I am just very intuitive, that’s all.”

“Umm,” he said uncomfortably. “Look, things are not gonna get weird now, right?”

“Nope,” I said as indifferently as before.

“Good,” he smiled with relief. “Listen, I was… Wow!”

I frowned and looked at him. He was staring at something behind my shoulder. I turned my head and almost laughed out loud when I saw Angie. There she was, in all her glory. Long legs, shiny hair, amazing body. I could understand Andy’s reaction. Suddenly, I had a brilliant idea.

“Andy,” I said quickly. “How would you like to go shopping with her?”

He looked at me as if he just woke up from an insanely awesome dream.

“What?”

“It’s Angie,” I said. “She loves to shop, has incredible taste, and fantastic personality!”

I wasn’t lying about taste and her loving to shop. Personality, on the other hand… Ah, who cares. He was almost drooling right now, so it didn’t matter.

“Seriously?” he muttered.

“Uh huh,” I nodded energetically and got up. “Angie!” I waved to her with a wide smile on my face. Well, what do you know; this is going to play out just fine…

“Hey!” she came closer and flashed me a dazzling smile.

“Hey, babe,” I planted a quick kiss on her cheek. “Listen, could you do me a favor?”

“Sure,” she pouted her lips in a way that used to drive me nuts a couple of months ago. Not anymore.

“This is Andy,” I said, and Andy muttered something that sounded like, 'Hi.'

“Hey,” she smiled at him.

“He is a best man in a wedding that is going to happen in a month, and he needs to shop for a tux and whatnot…”

The minute I said the word 'shop,' Angie’s eyes immediately became almost hungry.

“Do you think you could help him?” I asked her with sincere hope.

“Absolutely!” she said with a nod.

“Excellent,” I purred and gave her five hundred bucks. “Go wild, okay?”

Hell, if that gets me free of her, I don’t care that I won’t be able to buy food for the next two weeks. I am fine with going on a diet.

“Do you like Plaza?” she asked Andy.

“I love Plaza,” he said, and I could almost hear angels sing.

Yup, these two will do just fine. I watched them walk to Andy’s car, and applauded to myself in my head. I knew that Angie would probably call me tomorrow or the day after, and that she would say something like, “Oh, hunny-bunch, I am so sorry, but I don’t think we are right for each other…”

...Angie called me at ten in the evening that very night.

*****

Next week was so uneventful that it was almost funny. I worked a hell of a lot more than usual, since I decided that a diet was not such a great idea, and that surviving on smokes and coffee alone wasn't going to cut it. So when I finally got to my next day off, which was a Saturday, I felt like I could sleep for seventy hours straight. To my surprise, Scott never said anything about me pushing Angie and Andy together. I guess Andy was more than satisfied (in more than just one way), and Scott couldn't care less that Angie used to be my girlfriend.

I unlocked the door, stumbled into the apartment, and kicked off my shoes. I was fumbling in my pockets, trying to find my lighter, when I heard someone’s melodious laughter in the living room. I grimaced. Great, Scott is entertaining someone… Oh well, as long as they don’t start shooting fireworks inside the apartment, it’s all good. I can sleep through anything right now. I walked in and saw Scott, Cole, and some chick that looked like she just came out of Vanity Fair magazine. I managed a smile and waved to them.

“Hey,” Scott said. “This is Mary, Cole’s fiancée.”

“Nice to meet you,” I said wholeheartedly. “Grats on your wedding… Well, upcoming wedding,” I added, and she smiled at me like I just said the most sophisticated thing in the world.

“Thank you,” she said and stretched out her hand. “I didn’t get your name…”

“I am Eric, Scott’s brother.”

She looked like she expected me to kiss her hand or something. Well, that’s not gonna happen. I shook her fingers and let go of her hand. She looked at me with slightly raised eyebrows, as if marveling at my bad manners. I smiled at her as brilliantly as I could.

“Well,” I said. “I would love to join your little soiree, but I am exhausted. So, good night, everyone!”

“See you,” Cole nodded.

“Good night,” Mary said melodically, and my brother just muttered something as usual.

I got into my room, and this time, I locked the door. God, I was so tired that I didn’t even bother taking off my jeans. I pulled off my shirt, collapsed into bed, and passed out in less than five minutes.

…I woke up because I was so thirsty that my throat felt like someone ran sandpaper all over it. I reached for the bottle of water that I always kept next to my bed, and groaned when I realized that it was empty. At first, I decided to ignore my thirst and just go back to sleep, but after fifteen minutes or so, I climbed out of bed, cursing under my breath. I brushed my hair off my face, made sure that my pants were zipped, just in case if Cole and his fiancée were still here, and shuffled into the kitchen.

I was surprised to see that the light in Scott’s bedroom was on, and Cole and that chick were still indeed here. Good God, it’s almost two in the morning… But then again, tomorrow is Saturday. Well, technically, today is Saturday, since it’s after midnight. I quietly went into the kitchen. I really didn’t want to draw any attention to myself. I just wanted to get another bottle of water and get back to bed. I was rummaging in the fridge when someone said quietly behind my back, “Psst! You have a smoke I could bum?”

I turned around.

“Oh, hey Cole… Yeah, hold on a sec.”

I finally found my water and kicked the fridge closed.

“They are in my room,” I said. “Come on, you can smoke in there too.”

“Right on!” he said so enthusiastically that I cracked up.

When we got into my room, I closed the door very quietly.

“Let me guess,” I said, fishing one cigarette out for myself and giving him the pack. “Your fiancée doesn’t like it that you smoke?”

“She hates it,” he admitted. “But I figured I could always quit later, right?”

“Sure,” I nodded seriously. “Just when you will be dealing with the whole new life, new place to live, parents-in-law… The whole new meaning to the word 'stress'… Yeah, that’ll be the perfect timing to quit smoking.”

He laughed.

“How did you know about the new place to live?” he seemed really curious, and I just sighed.

“Elementary, my dear Watson,” I said and dragged on my cigarette. “Your Mary-Mary-Quite-Contrary comes from, let’s say, different establishment so to speak… Upper class, servants, royal blood, and the whole nine yards of other very snotty expressions…”

He was laughing harder right now.

“Therefore, my dear Watson…” I took another drag on my Parliament. “It was my deductive skill that helped me to come to the following conclusion. Mary-Mary’s living conditions are much more sophisticated and pleasant to the eye and other body parts…”

Cole went to the open window, swung it even more open, and started laughing so hard, I suspected that he was drunk. Or maybe I am just that amusing, who knows, right?

“…other body parts,” I continued in the same emotionless voice. “...than your living condition, which by the way, are not even living conditions at all. I have a big suspicion, my dear Watson, that Mary-Mary’s immediate family refers to your apartment…”

“House…” Cole breathed, wiping tears off his face. I nodded energetically.

“So, the immediate family refers to your… House… Something like…” I thought for a second, and then imitated Mary’s melodic voice. “A charming little place… I can see it being servants’ quarters…”

“Oh my God,” he said very softly and his face was dead-serious. He couldn’t keep it too long though. We laughed like crazy.

I realized that if we kept this up, Mary-Mary along with my very pissed off brother were going to barge in here just to find out what the hell was going on. I turned off the lights, grabbed my lighter and an extra pack of smokes, and hopped onto the windowsill. The apartment was on the first floor, it was great.

“Come on,” I whispered and climbed out through the window. Cole followed me. We sat on the ground and smoked in silence for a bit. Finally, I yawned.

“Oh, hey,” he said apologetically. “Sorry for keeping you up…”

“Nah,” I waved my hand at him. “I’ll probably sleep 'till noon. It’s all good. I just worked my ass off this week… I think I scored eighty-five hours or so…”

“Jesus,” he winced.

I shrugged.

“I like money,” I grinned.

“Where do you work?” he asked.

I yawned again. “Dream job, actually. You know all those computer games? Yeah, I am one of the skeleton builders, so to speak. I am also good at findings bugs… Oh, get this… So there is this one game that’s been in the progressing stage for… Oh, I don’t know… Ten months? So every time they think it’s done, they check it for bugs and whatnot, and then they send it to some idiot who is supposed to fix them, right?”

I paused and pulled out another cigarette.

“Anyway,” I continued a minute later. “He fixed probably a hundred bugs or so, but they keep sending the damn thing back to him, since he is always missing something, so…”

“Hold on,” Cole frowned. “What game is that?”

“Crux Impact,” I said, and he started laughing again.

“You gotta be kidding me!” he said finally.

“Why?” Now it was my turn to frown.

“Well,” he sighed. “I think I am the idiot you were talking about.”

“Huh?” I stared at him.

“That game had been a pain in my ass for the longest period of time,” Cole hemmed. “They would find all the crap that needed to be fixed, and I’d do it every single time… But the problem was that after everything was done, they would find something else wrong with it, and they would send it back again. Seriously, how hard is it to find everything in less than ninety tries? Well, finally… I think it was on Wednesday…”

Oh, boy. I could see bright and clear where this was going.

“Thursday,” I said dully and he looked at me thoughtfully.

“Yeah,” he nodded. “Thursday… They sent the damn thing back to me again, but this time, it came with a pile of papers this thick…” he spread his thumb and a forefinger. “And it had every single mistake and bug in the entire game. It was all printed out, described to a t, and it had all the freaking data…”

“Yeah,” I shook my head. God, he works for the same company as me?

“Well,” he continued. “Apparently, someone went through the entire game step by step, found every single thing that was wrong, and put it on paper… Now, seeing your reaction, I’d say it was you?”

“Oh, Lordy,” I sighed. “Yeah, it was me.”

“Huh,” he said very thoughtfully. “Small world…”

“No shit,” I nodded seriously. “So, I am going to ask you a personal question now.”

“Shoot,” he agreed.

“You are Scott’s age, right? Twenty-six?”

“Twenty-five,” he said, and I shrugged.

“Whatever. My question is why the hell are you getting married? Is it the money thing?”

“No,” he didn’t seem upset or anything by such blunt question. “Not the money. Mary and I…” he shrugged. “We knew each other since we were kids. So I guess it was just natural for everyone to assume that we would end up together. Don’t get me wrong,” he said after I rolled my eyes. “I am not marrying her just because that’s what everyone expects me to do… I guess, it’s just something I knew I would do eventually, you know?”

I just shook my head. Whatever. Some people have strange ideas about stuff. I guess he is one of them.

We sat there for probably another half an hour, when we heard Mary-Mary’s voice calling for Cole. He sighed and flicked his cigarette away.

“Well, I better go,” he said.

We climbed back through the window and after he left, I collapsed on my bed and passed out for good this time.