Camp Echo - 21. Chapter Twenty-One – Lies and half truths.

"If you wanted to see Max, he's at work."

Aeriol was only just up, he'd slept late, he had today off and was in his own manner, making the most of it. Which translated as staying in bed until ten o'clock, nipping downstairs to switch the hot water on, then waiting long enough to be sure of a hot shower. He had not quite reached the point of waiting long enough and had answered the door wrapped in his bomber jacket and wearing red underpants.

"I see I woke you up."

Nate was smiling, almost laughing, at the dishevelled figure standing inside the hallway.

"Come in, it's freezing," Aeriol turned and walked back upstairs, without waiting for an answer. "And you didn't wake me up," he said as he reached the top of the stairs. "But I am still in bed."

Nate followed him up to his bedroom and watched as he threw off the jacket and climbed back under the duvet.

"Sit down, or do you want to join me?"

Aeriol was propped up in bed with the duvet tucked under his chin. Nate looked around the room before deciding to sit at the foot of the bed.

"I wanted to ask you something about Max," he announced.

"Sounds serious."

Nate looked over towards the window. He knew the view, it looked out over the edge of the golf course. The same view from Max's bedroom at the back of the house.

"It is," he replied after awhile, gathering his thoughts.

"Go on then."

"Well, I left him here at the weekend. I went home, because I couldn't get any kind of answer from him."

"To what?"

"About coming to my place, visiting with the folks. About being in a relationship. Everything."

Nate was staring at the duvet as if it might somehow be a source of inspiration.

"Yeah, he told me about that."

"What, about wanting a relationship?"

"No, about meeting with your parents again."

"Oh."

Nate simply nodded distractedly, it wasn't the meeting his parents he was interested in.

"Listen, Nate. I know Max really well. I know you, and I like you. I wouldn't want to hurt you, but I don't think Max is looking to settle down into any kind of permenant thing."

"Relationship, you mean?"

Nate looked sad, but not surprised.

"Yeah, relationship. But who knows, I might be wrong. Maybe he is. You got to talk to him. Work something out. Compromise, maybe."

"I've been talking to him. I could have fucked up. I told him a proper relationship wasn't just sex and sort of left."

Aeriol reached out to touch Nate's arm, he gripped it and gave a gentle squeeze.

"Is there anyone else?" Nate asked.

That question took Aeriol by surprise. He released his hold and looked at Nate.

"You should ask him that."

"But I'm asking you."

Aeriol could feel the emotion in his chest, like a huge rolling wave just came crashing down.

"I don't think I can answer you."

"You mean there is and you don't wanna say."

Nate stood up quickly and moved across to stand looking out the little window. The hedgerow by the fence that bordered the garden was tinged with the white of the morning frost. The sky was a pale grey, but the earlier mist was finally lifting.

"I don't know. It's not that I don't want to say."

Aeriol knew Max had spent the night with Davy and he knew he had to keep that to himself.

"You know everything. If you're saying you don't know it's because you do know."

Aeriol was up out of bed and wrapping Nate in a hug from behind. Nate turned around from the window. He felt Aeriol shivering in the cold.

"You better get dressed or you'll freeze."

He smiled at Nate.

"I'm gonna take a shower first. Will you stay?"

Nate turned to look out the window again, without answering.

"I'll be five minutes," Aeriol told him, as he moved through the door and down the stairs. When he'd finished his shower, and it was only five minutes, Nate had gone.

When Max came home, Aeriol was in the front room hugging the fire and lighting up a joint.

"Hi, just in time," he said as he took a long draw.

Max sat down next to him by the fire and took the joint Aeriol offered.

"We should get a Christmas tree. What d'you think," Aeriol smiled.

Max looked tired and was less than responsive. He shrugged.

"Bad day?"

"Too much going on," Max finally spoke. Then he handed over the end of the splif and leant back into the bean bag.

"Busy at the warehouse?"

Max stared at the ceiling, starting to relax.

"Nah. Too much going on in my life."

Aeriol didn't reply straightaway.

"Nate came over this morning."

Max sat up and looked directly at Aeriol, like he was shocked or surprised, or something.

"What..."

"About you. He wanted to know about you."

Aeriol and Max had known each other a long time, been living together and hanging out, well it seemed like forever. He knew what Max was going to ask.

"That's what I mean. Too much going on."

"You better sort things out. He was... upset. More than upset I reckon. He never stuck around, left when I was in the shower. I think he was about to burst into tears. And you know why."

Max flopped back down in the bean bag. "I'm a shitty person. I don't deserve someone like him."

"Max! Fuck off. Don't start talking bollocks. You just gotta decide if you want a one on one or not. It might not last forever, but while it does, it's you and him and no screwing around with Davy or anyone else that happens to show up."

"Jesus, that's rich coming from you."

"It's not me toying with a serious relationship and breaking hearts."

"I reckon you do, break hearts."

"I don't string people along."

"Now we're getting to it."

"Shut up. I don't want an argument. You can't take your frustration and fuck ups out on me. You gotta sort it out."

Silence reigned supreme. Max knew that Aeriol was right. It had been on his mind all day. "Thing is there's something about Davy."

"Max, stop! Now you are making me pissed. It's only because it's new. Different. You're curious about him, now you know. Maybe it sort of turns you on. I don't fucking know. But that's not what this is about."

"Yeah, you're right. I do actually like Davy, you know."

"I like everyone I sleep with. Doesn't mean we're gonna ride off into the sunset together."

"I don't know. I always feel it could be like that."

Aeriol picked up the papers and started rolling another joint.

"That, Max, is exactly the point. You feel it could be like that and you met Nate and it is exactly that. He wants that. He's looking for that. Are you?"

"Am I?" Max replied, as if Aeriol could answer for him.

"Davy?"

"Yeah, who else?" Davy answered the phone straightaway.

"It's Max. I need to talk with you."

"I just got in, but go ahead, talk. There's no one here."

"No, I mean face to face."

"You wanna see me?"

"Yeah. Can you come over?"

"Okay, but I can't stay."

"See ya later then," Max hung up.

Now he would have to deal with things. Max hated burning bridges, meaning he was, like a lot of people, selfish. He would love nothing better than keeping both relationships, but that wasn't possible. What he feared was ending things with Davy and not being certain about Nate. Or rather, if Nate had given up on him.

Aeriol was in the living room chilling out, listening to Carly Simon.

I had some dreams, they were clouds in my coffee

Clouds in my coffee, and

You're so vain

You probably think this song is about you...

Max could only smile at the lyrics and wonder if the world was not conspiring against him.

"Davy's coming round," he announced.

"And?" Aeriol gave him that serious look of his, which was halfway between caring and telling off. It reminded Max of his grandfather, the man never told him off, he just gave him a certain stare.

"I'm gonna have a chat and tell him I can't have a relationship with two guys."

"Max."

"What?"

"Don't say it like that. Don't make it a choice, like Davy lost and Nate won. Just say you really like him, but you're looking for a long term relationship and you don't think it will work for you two."

"Supposing he says it will work long term? Supposing he's prepared to go for that? What then?"

"Then you have to tell him about Nate."

"That will be difficult. Especially because I know he is really..."

"He'll get over it. It's hard getting dumped, but it happens."

"I've never seen it happen to you."

"Because I never get that involved."

Max was getting worried. He had that weird sickly feeling in his stomach and started pacing around the room.

"Sit down," Aeriol told him. "You're making me nervous, pacing around."

It was less than an hour later when the doorbell rang. Max leapt up and rushed downstairs.

"Hi," he smiled. "Thanks for coming over."

They went back upstairs and into the front room where Davy greeted Aeriol, who then excused himself. "I'll leave you two to talk."

They sat down together on the blue plastic sofa, like two lovers on a park bench, unsure about what happens next.

"I'm sorry, but I don't think it can work between us," Max blurted out.

Davy just stared across the room at the flames flickering up the gas fire.

"I like you a lot and everything, but..."

There was a palpable silence.

Davy turned to look him in the eyes. "You're not into the same thing, or there's someone else?" There was a pause. "Someone else. I knew it."

"Kind of."

Max was trying to soften the blow.

"You wanna know something?"

"What?" Max asked.

"I really trusted you. I opened up. We slept together."

"I know," was all Max could say.

"You're a bit of a shit, Max."

Max looked away, lowered his head and stared at the floor. "I don't know what to say." He looked up to catch a glint of anger and tears in Davy's eyes. The boy stood up.

"You know what? Fuck You!" Davy turned and walked out. Max got up and followed after him.

"I'm sorry," he said as Davy descended the stairs. His only reply was the sound of the front door closing. He wandered back into the lounge and pulled back the curtain, staring into the night, perhaps thinking he might catch a glimpse of Davy. But he didn't. He was gone.

Aeriol came in to join him. "He left?"

Max turned around, letting the curtain fall back.

"Yeah. It didn't go too well."

"Shame. I liked Davy. He's a good kid."

"Don't make me feel any worse than I already do."

"What now?"

"I guess I need to see Nate. Find out where things are between us."

Tuesday evening after work Max walked into the cafe on the Archway Road. As he hoped, he caught sight of Nate behind the counter. It was not a busy night and the place would probably close soon, they only ever stayed open evenings at the weekend. Standing at the the deserted counter he surveyed the food on offer, waiting for Nate to reappear. But instead it was a girl, Jo, who came out. Max had met her before, she was nice, but he wanted to talk to Nate. That's why he'd come here.

"Hi Max, can I get you something," Jo smiled at him.

For a couple of seconds he took in her soft face, sandy blond hair tied back in a pony tail, and the denim dungarees with the little peace broach pinned on one strap.

"Oh, I really came to see Nate. Is he busy?"

She looked at him with a sympathetic tilt of her head. Leaning towards the counter. "I don't think he wants to see you," she told him.

"Oh," Max replied, sounding like a moron.

"Do you want to eat?"

He contemplated the question. He didn't want to leave without speaking to Nate. "Yes, okay. That red bean concoction looks good."

"Red bean casserole coming right up." Jo spooned out the last of the dish onto a plate and handed it across the counter. They both moved together to the till at the end and he paid.

"Would you tell him I'd like to talk please?" He picked up a knife and fork and went to sit at the table next to the fireplace, where the dying embers were still glowing, and it was warmer. By the time he was halfway through eating, Nate come out to stand by the table.

"What do you want Max? I thought it was over between us."

"Sit down can't you? I want to talk about that."

"I think you made things pretty clear. What's to talk about?"

"Nate, I'm sorry. I was wrong."

Nate turned away.

"Please give me a chance."

"I've got to clear up." He walked away without paying Max anymore attention. Leaving him sitting with his half finished dinner, which he didn't really want and which tasted like it had been stewing all day. Actually, it was good, but he had no appetite. Max pushed the plate away and sat staring at the ash in the grate of the fireplace.

"Have you finished?" Nate's voice startled him.

"Yeah, thanks. It was good."

"You left half of it."

"I just don't feel like eating."

"We're closing."

Max sighed and pushed back his chair, standing up, ready to leave. But he tried one last time. "Please, can we talk?"

"Alright, but you have to wait till I've cleared up here."

Max went to sit back down.

"Outside," Nate gave him a hard look.

"But it's freezing."

"Up to you then," Nate told him, and watched as Max made his way across the empty room and out the door.

It was about ten minutes before the lights turned off and Nate and Jo emerged. Nate locked the door and turned to Jo. "See you tomorrow then."

She looked at him, then at Max, who was standing there obviously cold. "Goodnight Nathan, Max." She smiled again and walked away down the path.

"I'm going home now," Nate told him. "So say whatever you came to say."

"Nate, please. I'm trying. I... I don't want to lose you."

"I can't stand here freezing. If you wanna talk you have to walk."

He started up the path and Max followed him. As he turned to go up towards Highgate, Max caught up, and they were side by side. "Can I buy you a drink?"

"I've got to get home," Nate told him.

They were walking briskly. The late rush hour traffic was lighting up the main road as commuters made their way out of the city back to the suburbs.

"One quick drink in the warm. The Woodman. It's on the way."

Nate kept walking. Max kept pace beside him until finally he stopped as they reached the lights.

"Alright," Nate said.

When the traffic stopped they crossed the road and pushed open the doors to the pub. It was populated with early evening drinkers grabbing a pint before heading home, probably regulars.

"There's a table free over there," Max nodded in the direction. "You sit down, I'll get the drinks. What would you like?"

"Anything. Same as you."

Max made his way over to the bar and ordered two rum and cokes. Once back in the corner he slid onto the bench seat next to Nate, and passed him his drink.

"You know I'm not eighteen yet?" Nate looked at the glass.

"So what?"

Nate sipped the rum and coke. "Well?"

"Well, why did you just up and walk out?"

"You're not trying to blame me are you?" Nate looked angry.

"No, but you said you need commitment and just walked out."

"You said it was just sex."

Max looked around, because Nate wasn't holding back, and was talking quite loudly. "I never said that. Okay, maybe I wasn't being too serious and you were like..."

"Whatever, it's not only that. Yeah, I was being serious. I want a serious relationship. I thought that's where we were heading. But obviously not, because I talked to Aeriol."

"He told me you were upset."

Nate looked about ready to explode. "Fuck! He told me you were seeing someone else."

Max took a deep breath. "Take it easy, alright? He never said that. He would never say that."

"As good as," Nate calmed down a bit.

"No. You made it up to suite your breaking up."

"What! Don't lay it at my door again."

"Nate, I'm not. It's true I... What can I say. I mean how can I say it. I wasn't seeing someone else, but someone else was around."

"What does that mean?" It seemed like Nathan was listening to Max's story.

"It means, I knew this guy called Rueben. Long before I met you. He had a friend, Davy, a young guy, your age, maybe a year younger. Anyhow, I sort of knew Davy, vaguely, through Rueben. So Davy was around, and we'll, you know what Aeriol's like. He and Davy got together. If you like, through me, because I invited Davy to come over. But that's it. Aeriol slept with Davy. You can ask him. I went to bed. Alone."

Nate was silent. He finished his drink.

"You want another?"

The boy nodded. Max was convincing. It's always convincing when you tell the truth. Max knew that. If Nate asked Aeriol, he'd tell him the same story. He came back with another round of drinks to a quiet and more receptive Nathan.

"So it's all about us. No one else. And I admit I'm not the best at serious relationships. I've never had one. Not unless you wanna count Aeriol."

Nate looked at him..

"But I wanna try and see. I know that's what you want. And I want you. So I want the same."

Max gently squeezed Nates arm.

"So can we start again?"

Nate smiled and Max felt he'd made it happen.