Keep Me As An Apple of Your Eye - 31. December 31 New Year's Eve

Tuesday, December 31^st

New Year’s Eve

7^th Day of Christmas

On the seventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me,

seven swans a swimming….

from “The Twelve Days of Christmas.” The seven swans represent

the gifts of the holy spirit: wisdom, knowledge, counsel, fortitude, understanding, piety and fear of the Lord.

All too suddenly Erick and Todd found themselves getting up early, packing the car and again driving to Richmond. They had been back in their home less than 24 hours. Robert and Marjorie were sitting at the breakfast table drinking coffee when they arrived. Erick grabbed a mug for hot tea while Todd poured himself a cup of coffee. There was a mellowness of being with family.

“We will get out of your hair for a little while. It is going to be a busy day.”

Todd suggested to his mother that he and Erick were going down to Shockoe Slip for a late breakfast so that his parents could have some time to themselves.

“Nonsense. Tayloe and Eron are on their way over. You will need to pick up Mr. and Mrs. Emmanuelson at Byrd Field at 11:30.” Todd chuckled because it had been years since Richmond International Airport had been called Byrd Field. It was a way his parent’s generation subtly let everyone know they were “old Richmond”. New arrivals never used the moniker unless they were truly pretentious and those folks could be spotted a mile away.

Todd heard a car door slam and knew that his brother had arrived. Tayloe walked in the back door. He was followed by Eron who had his hand on Tayloe’s shoulder. Eron had a big smile on his face. Tayloe led him to the table and helped him get situated.

“Eron’s new glasses have not arrived yet. Perhaps today. He is still seeing double so he is a little unsure how to maneuver in new places.”

Marjorie quickly prepared an array of food for them to enjoy. Normally, there would have been Bloody Mary’s for them to drink but given Eron’s medical condition she decided to err on the side of caution.

“Mom, where are the Bloody Mary’s?” Tayloe was not the first to notice, but the first to speak up.

“Gosh, with everything going on, I guess I forgot them. Do we really want them today?”

The men said they did and Tayloe and his dad concocted them very quickly. When a drink was put in front of Eron he declined.

“I am not sure how alcohol will interact with my meds so I will pass this time.”

Tayloe looked at him with puppy dog eyes and said he could have one sip while they toasted each other. Eron laughed and said with his double vision it was almost like there was a pack of dogs with pouting faces. Tayloe had put a straw in Eron’s drink so he wouldn’t spill the drink down his clothes.

“Sissy stick. That is what they were called when we were growing up. Now I feel like an old man invalid who needs a bib and a straw. If Tayloe starts to feed me this morning I am going to hit him. He is being overprotective. Be prepared.”

Tayloe grinned from ear to ear.

They made their way through breakfast with Eron not making too big of a mess. Tayloe did reach over a couple of times and Eron would slap his hand. Marjorie would laugh and Robert said, “Good on you, Eron. Don’t let him take control of everything. We can’t eat at a restaurant that he is not ordering food for everyone. The boy has some control issues.”

That engendered a laugh from everyone because they had all experienced that part of Tayloe’s personality.

“I am just trying to be helpful.”

“Brother, you fed me until I went to elementary school. I was afraid that you would sit at our lunch table and try to feed me. I seriously could not handle a knife and fork when I first went to kindergarten. People made fun of me.”

“You never told me that before.”

“It was because I loved you for being my big brother and never wanted to do anything to upset you.”

That provoked an “ahh” from everyone else at the table.

Just at that moment the doorbell rang. Tayloe hopped up and greeted the delivery man who had a package. Tayloe had asked the ophthalmologist to have the prescription sent to Richmond for it to be filled.

“It is our glasses.” Tayloe opened the package and told Eron to close his eyes while he slipped the glasses on his face.

Eron opened his eyes and looked at Tayloe. “Who are you? Have we ever met before?” Everyone roared with laughter. “They work. I am not seeing double anymore.” Eron took the other pair of matching glasses and put them on Tayloe’s face. He then leaned over and kissed Tayloe on the lips.

Everything at the table stopped.

Tayloe turned red and Eron apologized for his behavior.

“I apologize, I didn’t mean anything by that. Erick and I have always kissed each other. I apologize.” He excused himself from the table and found his way to the den. He sat in a wing chair by the fire and silently cried thinking he had ruined everything. He couldn’t hear anyone talking in the kitchen. Eron was sure he would be put on the next train north.

Robert came into the den and stirred the ashes then grabbed another log to throw on the fire. He then sat in the wing chair on the other side of the firebox.

“You have been through a lot the past few days. Are you feeling better?”

Eron sighed and said that he was feeling better but was still adjusting to the medicines. He said he also had some physical deficits that required rehabilitation.

“I am so young to have something like this happen. I should be thankful, and I am thankful that they were able to fly me to Boston for care. I dare say that I will never play contact sports again. It is a lot to take in.”

“I hope that Tayloe has been helpful and not a hindrance.”

Eron glowed when Robert mentioned Tayloe’s name.

“He has been great. He said I can stay at his apartment to recover. Tayloe will drop me off at my rehab therapy each day. I will take the bus or get a taxi back to his apartment. Rehab starts next Monday. The care here is more advanced than what is available in Newport.”

They sat in silence. They could hear Marjorie cleaning the kitchen but Eron didn’t hear the guys.

“Where are the guys?”

“Todd told Tayloe to go with he and Erick to get your parents from the airport.”

“I see. I should wonder why I wasn’t invited but sometimes it is best not to ask.”

Robert could see that Eron was in an emotional state. He knew that his recent near death experience exacerbated the feelings he was having.

“I hope you don’t think this rude or untoward but do you love my son?”

Eron gasped and sat up straight in his chair. Eron was trying to arrange his thoughts to answer when Marjorie walked in with mugs of coffee and short breads.

“I couldn’t help overhearing the question, I want to know the answer also.”

Marjorie sat on the footstool beside Eron’s chair then reached out and held his hand.

Eron felt like he was on trial. He was the lawyer and was used to asking the tough questions. He looked at each of them and then nodded his head.

“Yes, I love him. However, I am not sure exactly how he feels about me. I have gotten mixed signals from him since we met. He is now treating me like an invalid who needs his care and attention. I know he loves me like a brother but I don’t know beyond that.”

Robert and Marjorie both nodded their heads.

“That is the Tayloe we know. He is such a loving, caring person who is ready to help anyone in need. He always brought home injured animals when he was growing up. He would nurse them back to health. We always made him find good homes for the animals and he was diligent about where he placed them. We always thought he was going to become a social worker or a veterinarian. He likes to fix animals and people. He hasn’t been able to settle on one person though. He has never let anyone get really close to him; except for Todd. He and Todd have always been exceptionally close.”

Marjorie looked at Eron. “One piece of advice, if I may. Focus on getting well. You have had a traumatic brain injury and you need to focus on your recovery. Let our dear son help you but we don’t know if he is gay and we don’t think he knows either. Be gentle with him because he is confused. His bravado is to cover his insecurities. He could never make up his mind about food and that is why he ordered for everyone thinking if he didn’t like what he had he would try someone else’s meal. Have you noticed he does that? He and Todd never competed over dating girls in high school. We know the reason why Todd rarely dated; however, Tayloe dated every weekend but it was mostly someone different each time. He never settled on one girl.”

Eron nodded his head. Robert looked at Eron and cleared his throat.

“Well, tonight we are introducing Todd and Erick as a couple to our friends and family. Is it asking too much for you to propose a toast?” Eron agreed and Robert beamed. “Just so you know, probably everyone here except for you guys will be heterosexual. Ahhh, and one more thing, as soon as you offer a toast, be prepared, because Tayloe will offer one also. He doesn’t like to be upstaged.” They all laughed.

They heard the car pulling into the driveway. Robert and Marjorie got up and were prepared to meet Mr. and Mrs. Emmanuelson instead it was just the guys.

“We dropped them off at the Linden Row Inn to refresh before lunch at the club. Erick and I also checked in so we won’t be a burden to you. We will pick them up on the way to the club.”

The Emmanuelson family was awed when they arrived at the country club. Erick and Eron held their parent’s hands as they walked through the lobby to the dining room. There was a buffet lunch served that day. Marjorie had checked with Erick to ensure that his family would eat the array of foods offered on the buffet. Robert led Rachel Emmanuelson through the line and Marjorie guided Abraham. The fellows fended for themselves though Tayloe did find himself trying to assist Eron. Eron was polite but insistent when he loudly whispered to Tayloe that he was okay. Tayloe was startled and took that as a brush-off, had a hurt look on his face, then pulled himself together and sat beside Mrs. Emmanuelson during lunch. He was rather subdued. As they were eating dessert, Marjorie got everyone’s attention and said that she had a fun thing for them to do so as to get to know each other better.

“Everyone knows the song, “The Twelve Days of Christmas” and I don’t mean to offend but someone has assigned religious meaning to each of the twelve gifts. Today is the 7^th day and we sing about seven swans swimming. There are seven gifts of the Holy Spirit and I wrote the gifts on pieces of paper and I thought we would pass this around and we could each talk about how we are going to use that gift during the New Year.

“Mom, there are seven gifts but eight people, so I guess I don’t get one.” Tayloe was giving her a broad grin. His first since they arrived at the club.

“Ahh, I was waiting for someone to do that. Since you asked, the person who does not get one has to lead us in singing “The Twelve Days of Christmas.” At that point Marjorie passed the dish with pieces of paper and made sure that Tayloe was the person who did not get one. She leaned over and kissed him on his cheek and said she was looking forward to his singing.

“Who is going to start?”

Eron smiled and held up his hand. “This is not school, dear Eron, so you don’t have to raise your hand. Please, go first.” Eron’s voice was a little hesitant and slow but he persisted. Eron spoke about the word counsel and that he was legal counsel. He had a tremor in his voice and said that given his injury he hoped that he could be a legal counsel to people in the future. He said he remembered what a fellow named Timmy had said one night at Erick and Todd’s apartment about holding the wealthy accountable for how they treated the poor and disenfranchised. Eron said it changed his entire way of thinking about justice and that as an attorney he hoped that he was able to represent his clients better through this new understanding.

They continued to go around the table until they reach Todd. “Hmmm, I am not an English major or a religion major so I hope I get this right. After all, I am just a mathematician.” He looked at Erick and smiled when he said that. “My word is piety. I think it has negative connotations such as someone pretending to be deeply religious but really isn’t. I guess that is false piety. But I really think it means someone who is deeply religious and sincere in his or her beliefs. Since the beginning of Advent and then with Hanukkah I think I have become more faithful to God; it has deepened the love I have for Erick. I hope to continue that during the coming year.” The guys leaned into each other and kissed.

Last, but not least, was Erick. “Todd has helped me return to my faith. Sure, we did all of this Christian stuff but we both were able to see it as us growing in our belief systems and our love for each other. I was surprised how much overlap was there. My phrase is “Live in fear of the Lord.” I see this as a positive aspect of our lives. Jews typically don’t think of God as man or woman. God is God. We are also used to arguing with God. So, through this belief we live in fear or awe with God. God challenges us to be our best. Fear is this feeling that we might disappoint God and we don’t want to do that. God is in us, God is us, so our awe of God propels us further to be the best that we can be.”

There was a silence that embraced the table.

“I don’t think I have ever heard a preacher explain it any better than you did, Erick. Thank you.” Robert was acting like the proud parent.

Tayloe jumped up from his chair and started singing “The Twelve Days of Christmas.” Before the song was finished, he had encouraged other people in the dining room to join in and had them acting out each of the stanzas. People were laughing and enjoying themselves by the time they finished. Even the Emmanuelsons were laughing and singing along.

When it was time to leave, Eron asked Erick if he could go back to the Linden Row Inn and take a nap with him. He said he was tired and needed some time alone with his brother. Todd said that was fine and he would take Tayloe to his apartment. Tayloe stood there looking like someone had smacked him in the face. He then stormed out of the club and waited by Todd’s car.

“I need for you to calm down, Tayloe. Eron had a terrible accident and he needs his brother right now. They have always supported each other the way that you and I have supported each other.”

“Yeah, but if something would happen, Erick would turn to you. He would want you to give him comfort. Eron is asking for Erick’s help. I can provide it.”

“The difference is that Erick and I are partners. It is still a fairly new relationship but we look to each other for everything in life. I would not abandon the support I would need from you but it is different.”

“Well, I am there to support Eron but now he has turned me away. It started this morning. Why does he not understand how much I care for him?”

“Do you love him, Tayloe?”

There was silence.

“I love you, Todd. I love our parents. It is different loving someone outside of our family, you know.”

“Do you love him, Tayloe? Have you told him that you love him?”

Again, there was silence.

“I think he senses that. He loves you. It is written all over his face. He would give himself to you as a partner. The ball is in your court, big brother. He is fragile both mentally and physically and is afraid of being wounded. It is self protection on his part. If you are afraid of how mother and father might react, don’t worry. I told you how wonderful they were with me. Think on this, you are both miserable right now.”

“I need a nap. Please stay and take a nap with me.”

Todd cuddled Tayloe until they both fell asleep. Tayloe had a restless sleep and kept waking Todd. One time, Todd woke and gently turned Tayloe over so he was holding him. Tayloe had been humping him in his sleep. His subconscious brain was working overtime in the sex department. When it was time to get up and get dressed, Tayloe looked even more distressed than before they laid down.

“I did nothing but dream of Eron and I kept trying to make love to him and he kept pushing me away. He rejected me each time. I can’t live with his rejection. It was absolutely wrong for me to convince him to come here for rehabilitation. I will be a basket case before he heals. Todd, I love Eron and he knows that.”

Todd grabbed Tayloe and comforted him at his reveal. He knew that coming out was a difficult and ongoing process and Tayloe had taken the first small step. They took showers and Todd said he would dress when they got to the Linden Row Inn. Tayloe put on his new glasses. His eyes welled with tears thinking that they matched Eron’s. He and Eron would look alike at the party.

Eron was having a similar conversation with Erick at the Inn.

“It was a mistake. I should not have come. I will take the train back to Newport and figure out a way to get to my rehabilitation each day. I cannot do this. He fucking walks up to the edge and then backs away. There is no greater feeling than being wrapped in his arms. He kisses me and holds me and loves me but can’t admit to loving me. Love is more than just being wrapped in his arms at night. I need for him to make love to me. I need for him to say he loves me. I don’t think he is capable of doing that. I love him, I need him but he is not able to love me back.”

Erick held Eron while he cried copious tears.

Todd and Tayloe gathered the Emmanuelson family and then headed to their parents for the New Year’s Eve party. Eron and Erick took Todd’s car while Todd drove Tayloe and the Emmanuelsons to the party. Again, Tayloe was devasted by what he considered a slight on Eron’s part; Eron needed to be with only his brother. He didn’t understand that Eron was trying to protect his heart; they were both hurting themselves and each other.

The party was in full swing when they arrived. Robert looked at his watch when they walked in the door. Of course, they were late, as usual, and their father was always a stickler for being on time. Even on New Year’s Eve. A trio of musicians was set up in the living room and people were dancing. Everyone was having a great time. The first people to greet them were Pate and Timmy. The beach boys didn’t think they would know anyone at the party but several people who had been at the development meeting in the spring came up to them. Pate knew this was prime ground for making business contacts but decided that the evening was about Erick and Todd and he wasn’t going to be slipping business cards to anyone….. unless they asked. Nash and Jan moved across the room and hugged Todd and Erick. They made a formidable pair: Jan was beautiful wearing a gold gown shot through with emerald threads and Nash was in a tuxedo with gold and emerald plaid cummerbund and bowtie. They were wearing the colors of their college.

Eron kept close to Erick all night. He held his hand quite often. He was very comforting to his parents who were not used to such affairs. He finally convinced them to dance and was surprised at their agility. He took delight in everything they did that night. Eron noticed that Tayloe hung out with some friends but kept looking his way. Eron had been introduced to a girl named Cynthia who was hanging onto Tayloe’s every word and onto his arm. It was obvious she was in love with him. Eron also noticed that Tayloe was drinking a lot. In fact, he was drunk. Eron had not been around Tayloe that much but had never seen this side of him. Tayloe had made himself the center of attention amongst the young professional crowd. He was worried for Tayloe and almost went to speak to him but was accosted by Mr. Reynolds who asked if he was ready for the toast. It was timed to be just before midnight.

“We would like to welcome friends, new and old, to our home tonight. Marjorie and I have been blessed by your friendship for many years. Tonight, is special for us because we are here to announce that our son, Todd, has a partner and we know that Erick has asked Todd to marry him, so this is like an engagement party for our son and his soon to be husband. I have asked Eron Emmanuelson to offer the first toast to the couple.”

Eron was stepping forward when he looked into Tayloe’s eyes. He saw hurt, he saw confusion, but most importantly he saw love. He knew that Tayloe loved him whether he was able to say it or not.

“My brother and I have always been so much alike. Maybe because we are twins.” This drew laughter from everyone in the room. “I met Todd the first week of December when I drove to Williamsburg to meet this man to whom my brother swore his love. I was planning to be the legal counsel and ask tough questions of this man who would have the audacity to love Erick. I didn’t need to ask tough questions because what I saw were two men completely in love with each other. All I could do was to offer my good wishes. So, tonight is another milestone on their journey by announcing their engagement. Erick and Todd, my family is thrilled that the two of you are together and I wish you every happiness for the rest of your lives. Three cheers for Erick and Todd.”

People raised their glasses and cheered. Erick and Todd kissed and then both were embarrassed.

Eron was about to step back into the crowd when he felt someone grab his hand. It was Tayloe. Eron smiled knowing that Tayloe would try to one-up-him by offering his own toast to Erick and Todd. Eron stood in place when Tayloe spoke. Tayloe was clearly drunk.

“Could I have everyone’s attention, please?”

Then Tayloe dropped to one knee.

“It is not only Todd who loves Erick. I met you when we both showed up to interrogate our brothers. The moment I saw you, I loved you. It wasn’t at the restaurant but on I- 95 as we were both heading to Williamsburg. You cut me off. When I looked over at the driver in that mean car I fell in love with his looks. I knew it then and I know it now. Then when I actually met you, I realized that behind those handsome looks was a man of quality and integrity. We have not had the luxury of time like our brothers, but when you had your recent accident, I knew that I could not live the rest of my life without you. I knew for the first time in my life that there was only one person I truly loved and that person was you.” Tayloe reached into his coat pocket and pulled out a ring box. “Please do me the honor of telling me that you will be the man in my life. I promise that I will love, worship and adore you the rest of our lives.”

Tayloe opened the ring box and there were two wide rose gold bands inset with diamonds. Tayloe had worked with the jeweler to use his grandmother’s diamonds in a way that enhanced the beauty of the bands.

Eron swayed and was immediately righted by Erick. Tayloe also swayed and Todd moved behind him and held his shoulders.

“Please be my husband.”

Eron, along with members of both families, was shocked. No one had seen this coming. There had been no gradual buildup of the relationship. There had been no conversation about being together forever. There had been no asking permission to marry into the family. There was only the emphatic statement that Eron had to come to Richmond so that Tayloe could take care of him.

There was silence while everyone waited for Eron’s answer. He didn’t like to be surprised in this way. He didn’t like to be put on the spot in front of a hundred people. He was a lawyer and could come up with a thousand reasons to say no. But, deep down, he knew that he loved Tayloe and loved his family. He knew that Tayloe loved him in return. There were hurdles to be crossed but he believed that together they could cross them.

“I fell in love with you the moment we met. I will always remember our dinner at the Williamsburg Inn. Your generosity of spirit, your love of me, and your love of our families is both overwhelming and yet comforting. You feel like home to me. Of course, I will marry you.”

Tayloe stood, grabbed Eron and they kissed while the countdown for the New Year’s started. They were still kissing when people started singing “Auld Lang Syne.”

Suggested Music:

“Auld Lage Syne”

Performer: Sabine Ehrensperger

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hm1hwxc92Mo

“It’s Probably Me”

Gregory Porter

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lSzICmwmRsA