Electricity - 12. Chapter 12

Aubrey/Andrew

“This is the best day of my life!” Nelson yelled out in Aubrey’s general vicinity, but without taking his eyes off the field, seemingly mesmerized by all the violent action happening below. Andrew had come through with his promise of bringing Aubrey and Nelson to one of his home games, and even though it was great to see the young boy smile, Aubrey was unnerved.

“Come on Andrew! Let’s go!” Nelson yelled, and Aubrey smiled and shoved another nacho in his mouth. Although Aubrey insisted that they would be fine in the cheap seats, Andrew completely disregarded him and stuck them both in the luxury box, where Aubrey couldn’t help but feel slightly out of place surrounded by stunning NFL wives and the players families. And if he wasn’t mistaken, he definitely received a few dirty looks. This came as no surprise, his name was attached to a highly controversial article on their beloved quarterback, yet here he was, an enemy within. He couldn’t exactly fault them for being suspicious of what he was doing there. They probably thought he was scheming up another article. And to add on to the stress, seeing Andrew get hit on the field in real life gave Aubrey a strange sense of anxiety. This game was more brutal than it looked on tv, and Aubrey had to admit, the idea of Andrew getting hurt made him feel some type of way.

“Come on, come on, yes, yes, touchdown!!!” Nelson screamed along with the others and Aubrey decided to hide his own inner turmoil, put on a smile, and join in the cheers.

When the writer had agreed to stay with the NFL player for a few days, every cell in his body screamed out “terrible idea!” Surely this would ruin their already fragile connection permanently, and put him in a deep state of depression. Fresh out of a breakup with Tom, and not having properly dealt with any of his excessive emotional baggage regarding the entire messed up situation, he knew that it was far too soon to start living with another man. Especially one as attractive and as…skilled in the bedroom as Andrew Thompson. Aubrey blushed remembering how many times he had tested those skills in the past week and a half, just to make sure he wasn’t hallucinating, only to find out that yes, when he wanted to put in the effort Andrew could set his body tingling with electric sparks all over. Every inch of him would feel alive under the player’s touch, as if he perfectly corresponded to whatever chemistry Andrew was made out of.

But then his brain would kick in to action and begin to reprimand him for this crazy situation he found himself in. Living with someone he barely knew. A stranger, practically. A very, incredibly alluring and handsome stranger. Aubrey shook his head in agitation at the distracting thoughts, trying to focus on the game.

He now had to admit that there was a complex range of feelings he had for this man. A tangled up ball of confusing emotions at the bottom of his stomach, emotions he’d eventually have to discuss with Andrew, which wouldn’t be easy. Andrew was not the type of man that liked to delve into deep emotions. He was fine at keeping up a casual banter, he was fine discussing surface emotions, he was great at talking sports, but what would his reaction be if Aubrey confessed that in the midst of all this turmoil he had realized that he felt something for the quarterback. There was no denying it anymore, as much as he wanted to. As much as he preferred to think that their relationship was nothing but friendly, or work related. He couldn’t decipher if what he was feeling was pure lust, or something more, but he could no longer lie to himself and say that their relationship was purely about the Thompson Foundation or about making lucrative networking connections. No, his path intertwined with Andrew’s because he wanted to be around the handsome quarterback for his own personal pleasure.

But what would Andrew do once he found out? Discard him like he had all his past lovers. Trade him in for a more exciting version as soon as the shine wore off from their relationship. Or worse yet, cheat on him left and right, the same way he cheated on Joel. And then he’d be right back to square one.

But here he was, a week and a half—and a lot of steamy and passionate sex—later, still at the condo. Still sleeping next to the dreamy quarterback every single night. Not only that, but things were going shockingly well. They were getting along, there was no bickering and no fights. First and foremost, Andrew was gone for most of the day, which left Aubrey ample time to focus on writing in the solitude of the empty space. He couldn’t believe that all it took to get back his creative juices was a simple change of scenery. He had asked Warren to be able to work from home for a while, as he wanted to avoid Kat for the time being. And although the professore wasn’t thrilled about it, he stopped complaining once Aubrey’s work began flowing in on the daily, and crushing the readership numbers yet again. The only real problem facing Aubrey was the fact that he still hadn’t spoken with Tom. After numerous days of desperate text messages and voicemails from the other man, Aubrey had shot him a text to let him know he was alright but wasn’t ready to talk yet. But he knew the day would have to come sooner or later. He could no longer just ghost people like he did with Jim all those years ago. He was a changed person, a mature adult. He would need to speak to Tom, figure out how to divide their stuff amicably and move on. But he wasn’t ready to do it quite yet, not while he was on a positive roll. Tom would need to wait.

The day after the game, Aubrey decided to bring Cindy to Kayto. He admired all the hard and selfless work she did at Ways and he wanted to do something nice for her birthday lunch. Kayto was one of Andrew’s favorite sushi restaurants, which had now in turn—and to his shame—become Aubrey’s favorite sushi restaurant. It was the same place where he often met with Joel and Drew, and Aubrey wondered if he’d often bring his other dates here.

The place was bustling with people. This wasn’t the type of restaurant he could usually afford, but with Andrew refusing any type of payment for rent or food, Aubrey had a little extra cash to spare. By the look on her face, he chose well, as she seemed positively thrilled at the sleek interior. But as Aubrey approached the host stand, he remembered that he forgot a crucial detail: reservations. At the same time, Andrew never made them when he came here. Maybe he didn’t need reservations, maybe he’d get lucky. It was a big enough place after all.

“Table for two, please,” Aubrey told the host.

“Do you have a reservation?” the not-so-friendly man asked, looking him up and down.

“No, I don’t” Aubrey replied, sheepishly.

“I’m sorry, we don’t have any tables at the moment,” he replied, not looking sorry at all.

“You don’t have anything? We’re happy sitting anywhere,” he pleaded.

“No, I’m sorry sir,” he replied, now with full on attitude. Cindy looked sad but mumbled out an “It’s alright, let’s go.” But just at that moment, a waiter that looked familiar approached them.

“Mr. Miller, how are you?” Aubrey tried to place the man. He was the waiter that had been really friendly with Andrew the last time they were here.

“Hey, I’m good, how are you?”

“Good, thank you. Are you dining with us tonight?”

“Trying, but forgot to make a reservation,” Aubrey replied.

“Not a problem, Mr. Thompson called in a while ago and made one for you. Right this way sir,” the waiter said, and Aubrey exchanged looks with a confused Cindy. They followed the waiter past the miffed host, and right to the best table at the restaurant: Andrew’s booth.

Aubrey couldn’t help but smile. All the shit he gave Andrew for being selfish, yet here he was, being extra thoughtful.

“Wow, it really pays to date a famous football player,” Cindy exclaimed, smiling.

“We’re not…we’re not dating,” Aubrey replied, scoffing at the idea. She was one of the very few people that knew Aubrey had some type of connection with Andrew Thompson.

“Right, he’s just making fancy dinner reservations for a friend,” she said with a devilish smile. Aubrey had to stop himself from feeling the butterflies in his stomach. This was ridiculous, was he really going to fall for all the typical Thompson tricks of seducing men? Was he naive enough to believe this…thing between them could truly work long term? He felt a sense of anxiety take over. He wasn’t getting any younger, his life seemed to be in absolute shambles, yet he insisted on continuing to make poor decisions. Maybe Kat was right, maybe if he had focused on Tom’s marriage plans, on his job and his credit score, the man would not have cheated on him. Maybe he’d be married by now, living in a house and getting ready to adopt some kids. Why did he toss away his chance at a real family by chasing after Andrew Thompson and his Foundation write-up? And what if he woke up one day, old and alone. The thought paralyzed him.

After he came back from lunch to the empty condo, he sat down on the couch and thought about his options. He could go back to temporarily living in the motel and try to figure things out from there, with a clarity of mind and without Andrew Thompson’s tantalizing body parts making it difficult to concentrate. This option would certainly not appeal to Prince, who had made himself perfectly at home in Andrew’s place, and lounged around like he owned it.

He could call Tom, go back to their apartment, and talk about things like an adult. People were allowed to make mistakes, after all. What if Kat was just a mistake because Tom had been lonely and upset that Aubrey spent all his time worrying about everything else except for his relationship. Maybe Aubrey could forgive him, maybe they could work things out. Or he could stay right here, and see what happened. But what exactly did he think could happen, except for a road straight into another heartbreak. He sighed, none of the options seemed that great.

Suddenly, the place erupted with a loud ding of the doorbell. Aubrey walked over and opened the door without checking who was behind the peephole, thinking Andrew had just forgotten his keys. Instead, he froze upon seeing the familiar face of an older woman.

“What the hell are you doing here?” she demanded to know after she recovered from her own shock of seeing him.

“Oh boy,” Aubrey muttered to himself, unable to answer.

“Charles!!!” she yelled into the empty hallway, panicked.

“I…uhhh,” shocked and embarrassed, Aubrey suddenly couldn’t find the right words to explain.

“Charles!!!” she yelled again, “I am going to call the police if you don’t leave right this second,” she threatened, looking at Aubrey and clutching her purse.

“Let’s not do that, please,” Aubrey pleaded with her.

“You journalists have gone pretty low fishing for a nasty story over the years. But how dare you break into my son’s place!”

“Break?…No, no…it’s not how it looks, please,” Aubrey was so tongue tied and nervous that none of his words were making any sense. Thankfully right at that moment Andrew appeared seemingly out of nowhere.

“Hey Ma, what are you doing here?” he said approaching casually and not realizing how tense the situation was.

“Honey! This man has broken into your home, call the police immediately.” Andrew looked at Aubrey, then back at his mom, then back at Aubrey, and burst out laughing.

“This is so not funny,” Aubrey stated, annoyed.

“What is going on?” Andrew’s mom cried, hysterical.

“Come on in Ma, I’ll explain,” he replied. After an hour of a very uncomfortable and tense conversation, Andrew’s mom finally came around to understanding that Aubrey was staying with her son for the time being in order to work on the Foundation article. At least that’s what Andrew told her. Although she seemed suspicious of it all, she chose to not ask anything too personal. Aubrey had a feeling that the woman sensed something more was going on between them, but thankfully she made no comment on the matter.

After she left, the writer felt exhausted by the whole situation. To his dismay, Andrew didn’t seem to be on the same page as him. He seemed as happy as a peach.

“You know, I think we should just be open about this whole thing,” he said. “I don’t like it being this big secret. I came out of the closet years ago. I don’t enjoy hiding.” Aubrey was aghast.

“Really? I didn’t see you flaunting your other hookups. You should be happy about this being a secret.”

“Well, you’re not just some hookup,” Andrew replied. Aubrey wasn’t ready to hear it.

“Don’t even…I don’t even want to hear the rest. I’m too tired for your bullshit.” Andrew shook his head in frustration but didn’t say anything more. It really had been a long day for Aubrey, as the day had started out with Jenny from Pride shooting him an email informing him that user maryjane45789 was back at it on the magazine’s website and social media, leaving nasty comments targeting Aubrey. He felt like his whole life could unravel at any minute, like this woman had some secret knowledge about him, and here was Andrew making crazy statements about this thing between them. It was all too much. Aubrey rubbed his temples, he could feel a migraine coming on.

“I didn’t mean to stress you out,” Andrew said gently, sitting next to the writer on the couch. Then he leaned in, almost like a hesitant teenage boy, and gave Aubrey a small kiss, and Aubrey remembered exactly why it was so hard to make any type of decision around this man. He let out a groan as Andrew’s tongue found its way to his mouth. “Let me make it up to you,” he said, in between kisses. Thirty minutes later, they were a tangled up sweaty mess, laying together in blissful silence. How could Aubrey leave this, when it felt so addictive.

But next morning he awoke to news that made his stomach drop. A text message from his old friend Jim that read, “So remember that thing you were asking me about a while ago RE pictures of you and Mr NFL? Yeah, they’re being shopped around. Just an FYI.” Aubrey rose up like a maniac, waking up Andrew in the process, and ran to his laptop.

“What the hell,” Andrew mumbled out back from the couch. Aubrey typed his name into Google and almost fell out of his chair at the results.

“Oh my God,” he exclaimed in utter dismay while staring at the screen.

“What?” Andrew asked, now more awake.

“Have you see this!? I’m ruined,” he replied staring at the website. Andrew walked up behind him and leaned down to take a look. It was an article in the Bay Mail. The headline read: “Burying The Hatchet? NFL Quarterback Andrew Thompson and Journalist Aubrey Miller Spotted Kissing On Romantic Date.” The article contained eight pictures some stalker had secretly taken of them the previous night when they had dinner at a restaurant. Andrew had placed a quick kiss on Aubrey’s mouth, in public, and even though Aubrey knew better, he thought the restaurant was pretty private and didn’t spot anyone watching them.

“Shit,” Andrew said, looking through the seemingly endless array of the intimate photos.

“This is it, my reputation is destroyed,” Aubrey moaned.

Andrew

Andrew bit his lip, he was growing tired of Aubrey treating him like a big dirty secret. Seeming to be constantly paranoid about anyone seeing them together and not wanting to even broach the subject of a potential relationship. And now Andrew was responsible for ruining his reputation? The insult stung deep.

“It’ll blow over in a couple days,” he said, with more annoyance than he intended.

“A couple days!? Do you realize how bad this makes me look? Do you understand I now have no credibility left? Who is going to read my articles and believe me anymore? I look like the biggest asshole. There I am, talking about how terrible you are in public, but hooking up with you in private. What the hell is wrong with me?” he continued the flagellating speech.

“Relax, it’s not that deep,” Andrew replied, further annoyed. This was getting ridiculous. He had been doing everything in his power to win Aubrey over. He had invited him into his own home, he was on his best behavior, never even leaving the condo outside of going to practice. He tried to be thoughtful and considerate and show Aubrey that he was someone he could rely on. But no matter how much he did, the writer’s opinion of him never seemed to improve. It was as if he was constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop.

“You say that because you have no credibility to lose!” Aubrey stated, making Andrew see red.

“Oh, here we go again! I’m a man whore and nobody cares when I’m sleeping around. It’s only when the pristine Aubrey Miller gets caught by the paps that it becomes a huge problem.” Aubrey’s silence spoke volumes and further infuriated the quarterback. “Let’s talk about this,” Andrew suddenly exclaimed.

“Talk about what? There’s nothing to talk about,” Aubrey replied, shaking his head in dismay. “It’s finished.”

“My God, why are you so stubborn,” Andrew asked, but it wasn’t as much a question as it was a general statement. “I like you. I believe you like me too. We have fun together. We enjoy each other’s company. The sex is great. Why don’t we give this thing an actual try?” Aubrey looked like a deer caught in the headlights. Why did he have to make dating him so difficult? Any other guy would have been thrilled at the idea. Andrew’s hookups worshipped the ground he walked on, they would have loved for him to ask them to date. They would have jumped up and down with happiness. But here was Aubrey, treating him like dirt once again.

“That makes no sense. Give what a try? You’re not capable of having a relationship.”

“That’s not true and you know it. You’re just too damn scared to try.”

“Of course I’m scared! You have the worst reputation in the industry. You’ve probably slept with half the gay population. You’ve cheated on all your boyfriends. Do you really think I’m delusional enough to think I can change you? Do you really think I want to work hard on making you a better man, just so six months from now I can find you in bed with an Instagram model? I don’t want that life, Andrew.” Andrew threw his hands up in the air, frustrated beyond belief.

“Stop talking to me like I have no control over my actions. And stop coming up with reasons why it won’t work. Just give us a real chance. That’s all I’m asking for.” Aubrey looked at him for a while, seemingly searching for the right words, and Andrew knew he wasn’t going to like whatever was about to come out of his mouth.

“I want a family, I want a husband, I want something stable, and I want someone I don’t have to second guess. I want to be able to talk about my emotions, I want to come home and cry to someone if I want to, if I had a shitty day. I want a reliable life partner. Not just for a while, but forever. That’s not you Andrew, that’s never going to be you. You’re a fun guy, but this…this would never work,” he said with conviction, and for the first time in his life Andrew felt the painful crush of a deafening heartbreak. His chest felt all tight, and a heaviness spread through his entire body. The one person he truly wanted to make it work with, the one person he would do anything for, didn’t want him back. This was worse than any blow he’d ever received on the field; this one actually left him breathless and speechless.

“I’m sorry,” Aubrey added, and closed the gap between them, giving Andrew a hug. In order to not lose face, and since it was most likely his last chance ever, Andrew hugged him back tight. He had to really control himself because he felt his eyes water a bit. Embarrassed, he quickly blinked the tears away before the other man could see.

“We’ll stay friends, alright?” Aubrey asked, pulling out of the hug.

“Of course,” Andrew replied, defeated. The two men stood around awkwardly for a few moments, Andrew avoiding eye contact.

“Okay, I’m gonna get my stuff and go.” Andrew wanted to stop him, but for the first time ever he didn’t know how. He didn’t think words would matter to Aubrey at this point. The writer had made up his mind. He didn’t believe that Andrew was worth taking a chance on.

The quarterback helplessly watched as Aubrey packed the few items he owned into his gym bag, then put Prince’s leash on. The dog threw a sad glance in his direction, confused by what was going on.

“Take care then,” Aubrey said, formally. Just last night Andrew was deep inside of him, with the writer’s arms and legs wrapped firmly around him, and his mouth breathlessly pleading for more. Now that same beautiful mouth was telling him to “take care”—so polite yet so cold.

“Take care,” Andrew replied and walked him to the door. He opened it wide for him and Prince, and then with incredible sorrow watched the man he was certain was the love of his life walk out.