System of a Wolf - 17. Chapter 17

Warmth greeted Erith for once when he woke up. He was surprised; Gara never shifted when he was asleep, yet here the elf lay, naked as the day he’d been born… and with his body entwined with Blake.

The elf froze, hardly daring to breathe as he stared at the naked human laying with him. The dawning sun shone on the mage’s body, revealing the milky white skin of his butt, abruptly tanning just above Blake’s legs. Erith felt his face burning, but more than that, he could feel an urge growing within him.

There was a sense of satisfaction deep in his mind, and it scared Erith half to death. There was no way he had mated Blake, but he couldn’t remember much after Gara had taken over. Had his new alter decided to have fun with the human while Erith was sleeping? He couldn’t hear anything other than his own internal monologue. No Lynn, no Gara… not that Gara ever spoke. And certainly no Varen.

Then again, everything was normal. He’d never really heard voices in his head anyway, not since Lynn had vanished. The only issue here was the fact that he was laying nude with Blake.

Maybe it was all innocent. Maybe Gara had just decided he wanted to cuddle with the other wolf. Erith knew it wasn’t exactly fair to Gara to be stuck in the house most of his life.

And now he felt even more guilty.

On the positive side, he was pretty sure he and Blake hadn’t had any sex at least. His jaw felt fine and his ass was in one piece. The elf thanked the gods for small miracles. Of course, that didn’t mean he hadn’t topped the human, but Erith was just going to hold onto what little hope he had.

And he was going to figure out how to escape before Blake woke up. But he had to be extremely careful.

With agonizing slowness, the elf reached back for leverage, gently pulling a leg out from between Blake’s legs. Just before he was clear, an alarm went off, and Blake startled awake. The man sat up, trapping Erith’s leg under him, and both of them winced.

“What-?”

“Fuck-”

Erith tried to pull away desperately as Blake’s body moved. He freed his leg and scrambled backward, fighting to cover himself. His hand missed the edge of the bed, and the elf tumbled, landing on the ground with a loud thump.

“Shit, Erith? Are you okay?”

He heard the rustling of sheets. Blake peered over the edge of the bed, his body covered by bedsheets. Erith’s face burned as he picked himself up

“Yeah, I’m fine,” he muttered, still trying to hide his groin.

Reaching blindly for his phone, the elf shut off his alarm, and a deafening silence overtook the room. It lasted for nearly a minute, both of them afraid to break the moment. To do so would force them to deal with a situation neither really wanted.

“You… you are Erith, right? Not… not Lynn?” Blake said finally.

“No, I’m not Lynn,” Erith sighed. “Did… did we do anything?”

“No,” Blake replied quickly. “So, you don’t remember what Gara does?”

Erith shook his head, standing up. He stepped on an antler, letting out a curse as it dug into his foot. Limping toward his dresser, the elf grabbed a pair of underwear, pulling them up his legs while standing.

“I like your butt.”

The comment brought him up short. Turning his head, he frowned at Blake. The mage was hiding in his bed, his face barely peeking out of the sheets. Sheets full of black and grey wolf hairs. And with a sizable tent right around the place where Blake’s crotch was hidden.

“Was… that was wrong, wasn’t it?” the man whispered.

Erith sighed, shaking his head.

“I can’t do this Blake. I don’t think I can have a relationship right now. And I don’t think I can ever have sex. You deserve better than this.”

“But what about Varen?”

The elf shrugged. What about Varen? He was rude, demanding… and yet he had done so much to help Erith, without the elf ever realizing it.

“What about Varen?” he repeated out loud. “Do you really want to be in a relationship with someone who isn’t always there? Do I want to share my body with more people? Gara was bad enough. I can handle giving control to a wolf. But I can’t handle constantly switching. What if you want to have sex, but Varen isn’t here? Are you going to start resenting me because I won’t give you anything but hugs and chaste kisses?”

Blake was silent, watching the elf dress. Erith let out an exasperated sigh, turning to leave the room.

“I’m making breakfast. Do you want anything special?”

“No,” Blake whispered.

Erith left the room, closing the door securely behind him. Stepping into the kitchen, the elf grabbed the food and water bowls. It didn’t take long to clean them out, and he set them aside before pulling some oatmeal out of a cabinet.

Blake joined him a few minutes later, the mage dropping his bag into a chair.

“I called Dr. Marin. He said he’ll pick me up in an hour,” he said quietly.

“Okay,” Erith said, staring at the oatmeal as it cooked.

He felt like his heart was going to shatter. Every inch of him screamed at him to make Blake feel better, but he had no idea how to do that. He was broken, and as much as it hurt, it was better for Blake to go. The mage could find someone else. Someone who could make him feel like he was special. Because Blake was special. But there was no way Erith could treat him right.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

He shook his head as the car pulled into the pack house. There was nothing to talk about. Erith didn’t want to be with him. They couldn’t be mates, only friends. And Blake knew he was okay with that. But he needed some time to himself to nurse his wounded heart. He’d call Erith later, apologise for making the elf think all he wanted was sex. It wasn’t about the sex, it was about being together, about cuddling so close that they could become one person. But he couldn’t expect Erith to understand that.

Stepping out of the car, the mage made his way to the apartment, bag slung over his shoulder. He was going to check on Val, then take a nice long shower.

“I need to head to work. Are you going to be okay on your own?” Dr. Marin asked as he closed the front door.

“Yeah,” Blake shrugged.

“There’s some pasta in the fridge. Three minutes in the microwave should have it tasting as good as new,” the older man said.

“Okay. I’m going to take a shower,” Blake said quietly.

“Hey. I know it might not seem like it right now, but it’s going to be okay,” Dr. Marin said gently. “Trust me. Whatever happened, I’m sure you two can work through it.”

Blake shrugged, heading into his bedroom. Dropping his bag on his bed, the mage fought the urge to just crawl into bed and sleep the day away. He would get through this. That didn’t make it suck any less.

He pulled out his bottle, carrying it out to the kitchen. The mage wasn’t supposed to be little when no one was around to watch him, and Dr. Marin was heading to the school. As much as he needed it, Blake was stuck dealing with the world.

The rest of his bag emptied easily, and Blake tossed it into his closet. He pulled out a container of seaweed and krill flakes. Val was swimming back and forth in his tank, and at the sight of the food, the oscar rammed the side of the tank, all but demanding to be fed. Blake rolled his eyes, measuring out the flakes carefully before adding them to the water. The fish gulped at the food like he had never been fed before.

“So dramatic,” the mage muttered, sending the food back to its shelf.

He returned to the kitchen, grabbing a banana. Slicing it carefully, Blake ate most of the fruit, carrying a few small pieces back to Val’s tank. The cichlid circled around the floating flakes as he entered the room, jumping up to grab at bits of the food. When Blake added the banana to the tank, Val went crazy, speeding around greedily as he gobbled the fruit up. It cheered Blake slightly to see his fish happy with the choice of food.

Music or water. It was a tough choice. But the mage decided it would be better to start with the shower. He could try music if that didn’t work. If neither of them worked… then he was in trouble.

Blake headed into the bathroom. He turned the shower on hot, letting it warm up as he pulled off his clothes. It didn’t take long for the room to fill with steam, and the mage stepped into the water gratefully. Sitting up in the tub, Blake let the water soak over his body.

Images of Erith passed through his mind, steadily growing more lewd. He couldn’t stop imagining hugging the elf, their naked bodies pressed against each other. The video he had seen stuck in his mind’s eye, Erith undressing before reaching for a diaper, and it confused him. He’d always used diapers as a tool, a way to slip into little space easier. Yet he was getting hard thinking about Erith in a diaper. It made no sense, but the growing urges in his groin kept distracting him as he tried to figure out what had changed.

Perhaps it was a werewolf thing. Maybe not. Either way, Blake let his hand wrap around his length, playing with the foreskin as he thought. He couldn’t have sex with Erith. Was it okay for him to masturbate to the elf? Erith would never know, but Blake was trying to adjust to the elf just being a friend. This felt like the wrong way to go about it.

Squeezing his eyes shut, the mage tried to imagine someone else, anyone else. He’d watched plenty of porn; that was not something Dr. Marin discouraged, as long as he knew his limits. Surely there was better material in his memories. Like that video of the two elves wrestling… or that neko playing with his short tail and his long tail at the same time.

His hand slowly stroked, back and forth, the motion encouraging growth, until his length filled his hand and beyond. Picking up the pace as he imagined the elves pinning each other, Blake took a deep breath and held it, letting the lack of oxygen carry him even further into the depths of bliss.

Panting for air, the mage’s strokes became erratic, frantically pulling him toward release as he sucked in another breath. It became a game of breathe and suffocate, and all the while, the elves fucked in his mind.

More… more… another gulp of air, and he hit the point of no return, gasping as he sank back in the tub. Blake came down slowly from the high, his vision darkening slightly as his head pounded. He took a few minutes to recover, letting the remnants wash away.

Reaching for the soap, the mage began cleaning himself off thoroughly, making sure nothing was left. When he was finished, he sat back under the water, letting the warmth soak into his skin.

It wasn’t until he got out of the shower that the man realized at some point, the elves had become him and Erith, wrestling for dominance.

Blake wrapped a towel around himself, sitting on the toilet as he recovered. So much for treating Erith as a friend. He was a horrible friend to the elf; Blake couldn’t even keep his mind to himself. Erith didn’t deserve to have him as a friend, let alone a mate.