Prickly Prompts - 12. #893 Ooops

In memoriam to Wayne aka comicfan,. Thank you for all your inspiring prompts. R.I.P.

I blew an ivy vine out of my face, imagining all kinds of spiders and insects marching over my back, debating whether they should crawl under the hem of my rugged-up shirt or into my pants. I shuddered and pulled the black fabric down one-handed as best as I could, squatting in some underbrush, and stuffed it in the waistband of my fatigues. Seriously Uncle Jack, dad-pants? We’re on a reconnaissance mission!

“I can’t believe what I’m doing here.”

“It’s because you’re the coolest, bestest, perfect uncle in the entire world.” My niece pushed her shoulder into me.

“Uh-huh.” I wiped a few beads of sweat away, trickling down my temples, with my now-free hand. I was melting. “And what are you going to do when Starslide finally steps out that door?” What a stupid name. “What exactly is a starslide?”

Felicity groaned. “Ugh, you’re like Mom. It’s her name! It’s totally uber!”

“Uber? Like the car service?”

“Uncle Jack!”

Aw, there was the incredulity I was aiming for. I grinned.

“Anyway, as soon I see her, I’m running over and asking her for an autograph and a selfie with me. Duh?” I could hear her rolling her eyes at me in her voice. “And you will video everything with your phone.”

“And then, when you have the genuine template of her signature, you’ll tattoo it on your ass?”

“Uncle Jack! Must you always be so crude?”

I thought I’d hear my sister’s voice. “Your mother will kill me.”

“Only when she hears about our little field trip. Or the word tattoo.”

“Oh, believe me, she will hear about this. That woman has developed a sixth sense for shit you’d never help my daughter with.”

Felicity snorted beside me.

“Quick, Uncle Jack! Someone’s opening the door!”

A man stepped out the door, air-kissing another guy.

“It isn’t her.”

Duh? Now it was me rolling my eyes. “I can see that.”

We did this game several times. I started filming, Felicity yelled it isn’t her, I stopped the camera.

After an hour, I was ready to head home, so was Felicity . Suddenly she dashed out from the bushes we were hiding behind, and ran across the street without looking, squealing loudly. Jen will kill me. I had so hoped she wouldn’t do that.

Even though she surprised me, I managed to get everything on camera, including the squealing. My niece was uber happy, her words. She shared the video I took for her that very evening; her mother didn’t have to know about this. Right?

My sister’s ringtone sounded somehow menacing. I am imagining things. “Hi, my beloved baby sister. What can I do for you on this fine day?”

“Cut the shit! I sent you a link.” My phone promptly dinged.

I knew she would find out about our little video excursion. After fumbling with my phone, I clicked on the link.

“Shit....” Felicity's video had gone viral with two and a half million views already.

What the hell? Why was everyone watching a video of my niece taking a selfie with some B-class singer? Starslide. I still couldn’t get over her moronic name. Then I read the comments.

Who is Craig Tomzek?

As I read on, it slowly dawned on me what had happened.

We had apparently caught some guy, Craig Tomzek whoever that was, on the video holding hands with someone who wasn’t his girlfriend.

From the moment ‘Pink Meercat’ recognized him, the shit hit the fan and the emojis were unpacked.

OMG! Is that CRAIG? It’s Craig!?

Whoever he’s holding hands with... It’s definitely NOT SUMMER!

He’s cheating on her!!!!!

Summer haters cheered.

Finally he’s gotten rid of that bitch!

Summer fans went from shock to plain vicious in moments.

I hope Craig and that c*** die of STDs!

Then the speculation started.

Who is that? It’s....

A flurry of names were posted then. If I said I knew half of them, I would be lying.

It spread like wildfire to other social media platforms. Some had copied parts of the video and enhanced them. Grainy pics where no one could recognize anything. Some had circled their hands with a fat red line as proof of the infamous deed.

Let’s say I waited a while before I visited my sister’s family again. Until now, actually.

I open the little door to their garden, carefully. “Helloo?”

“Uncle Jack!” Felicity runs immediately over to me and throws herself at me. “Craig and Summer split! Because of me!”

I wrap my arms around her. “It wasn’t your fault. They had problems before you posted the video. I read Summer was super jealous, always haunting him everywhere, and Craig had his eyes on Alex, the drummer of his band.”

It takes her only a moment to process what I just said, and she frees herself from me, takes a step back, and puts her hands on her hips. “Why Uncle Jack! Aren’t you knowledgeable?”

I may or may not be blushing. “I read some of those posts under the video.”

“Uh-huh. Some.”

“Is that my little brother’s voice I am hearing?” My sister heads over to us from the house.

“Go back to whatever you were doing.” I whisper to Felicity . “I’ll deal with your mom.”

“Jack! How could you allow this!”

“What? Would you rather have her crawling in the underbrush in a seedy part of town alone?”

“You could have forbidden it.”

I snort.

“Or you could have told me what she was planning, and I would forbid it.”

“Because a fourteen-year-old always listens to her mother.”

“Exactly.”

“Oh? You might remember that time when you told her not to watch that horror film? Or the time she borrowed your heels and sprained an ankle? Or—”

“Okay, okay.” My sister huffs. “Beer or coffee?”

“Coffee. And a cookie.”

I find Felicity reading on her phone on the back porch. ”Hey.”

“Hey. Was it bad?”

“It was okay. Wait until she hears about the tattoo.” I wink at Felicity .

“Tattoooo!”

“Jacob Robert Daniels!”

“Works like a charm.” We so high five each other.

 @Valkyriefor editing and beta-reading blitzschnell.
This concludes Prickly Prompts. It wouldn't be the same if I'd continue this prompt collection.
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