Stoke - 17. Soon

Sometimes I wondered if I would ever be warm again. I knew my mind’s near hysteria was driving rational thought from me, but I couldn’t remember the last time I had been warm. The only thoughts I had at the ready were the chill creeping through my limbs, biting at my fingertips and nose, and the frigid air choking me with each painful breath. If I managed to get past those, I had the pain. It was a constant that thrummed under the cold. I was always aware of it and it kept me from losing consciousness completely. I was so tired, and I had no idea how long I’d been here. I lay on the floor, on cold marble. My tired eyes scanned the black veins that stretched through the white beneath my frozen fingers. This time last year I had walked through this very room with fear in my heart. A marriage. I had thought a marriage was the scariest thing I would face. The sheer stupidity of it ripped through my chest and my fingers twitched. I couldn’t close them. They were numb. Much of me was. Numb. An involuntary shiver tore through my body and my teeth scraped against each other. My face felt strange and my teeth felt too big in my mouth.

I had been so confident, so sure that we had pulled the wool over Anders’ eyes. We were so wrong that my stomach dropped as I remembered. I tried to stop myself, but the ugly little voice in my mind reminded me of what lay only a few feet behind me. Carrot-orange hair, soft features, a weak Magik, but a kind girl. A sob tore from my chest and I willed my fingers to move. I needed to cover my face, hold myself, something, anything. They twitched again but remained unhelpful. Tears slipped over my cheekbones and dripped to the floor. I’d been dragged into the room on the second day I’d been here. The second day of Nyx’s medicine. The guards in their red uniforms had flooded in front of my cell and wordlessly dragged me out. They’d clamped shackles on my wrists and led me through a weaving network of tunnels. I had tried to memorize the route. I knew now how futile that plan had been. I’d been shoved through a doorway and sunlight temporarily blinded me. When my eyes adjusted, I saw a room I had seen plenty of times before. The throne room, the grand hall. Only, it was a shell of its former self. Few people milled about. No one was seated around the outskirts laughing and chatting. There were no students studying together and no courtiers schmoozing. The few people in the room were silent. No laughter, no joy, no spirit. I glanced up and saw the thrones were empty, the king’s banners pulled from where they had hung from the ceiling. Anders stood at the foot of the thrones’ raised platform.

He held his arms behind him, a simple brown leather jacket over a cream shirt, dark leggings, and boots. He was dressed quite simply for someone who saw himself as a king and had for years. My musings were cut short as I was deposited at his feet. My shackled wrists struck the ground and I almost hit myself in the face. I waited for Anders to speak, but he didn’t. The room remained silent and I raised my head. He hadn’t moved from his spot, but his empty eyes were fixed on me. I heard footsteps and another door opened. It was behind the men so I couldn’t see anything even if I turned. I watched Anders’ eyes track movement and I heard more footsteps get closer. He’d been waiting. It seemed not everyone was in attendance for this doomed meeting. They stopped nearby and a body was thrown to the ground a few feet to my left. I wish that I hadn’t looked. I know, rationally, that at some point I would’ve seen it either way, but I wasn’t ready for what I saw. Ajul lay in a heap. Her knees were tucked awkwardly under her and her face was turned away from me. What I could see of freckled skin was bruised, scraped, and bloody. As she lay still, blood began to pool under her prone form. She didn’t move, but I knew she was alive. Anders wouldn’t bring her here to use against me if she wasn’t.

“Did you think that a hastily thrown together group of rejects could outmaneuver one of the greatest strategists who ever lived? I’m speaking of myself, of course. I have known that you were plotting something the minute you started. Every time. Even before you resided in my dungeon. Your friend was very helpful this time, but she seemed hesitant to divulge your part in her little club’s plans. Care to enlighten me? Enlighten, ha.” The dry laugh that followed was more of a faster exhale than anything else. I didn’t turn from Ajul. Surely, she was breathing. He wouldn’t bring her here just to show me he’d tortured her. Torturing someone else wasn’t enough to get what he wanted. Right?

“It is rude to ignore your host when he speaks. No matter. I will simply punish her for your disobedience. If you refuse to cooperate, the girl will suffer.” That was when he confirmed that she was, in fact, alive. Anders lifted a hand and waved it slowly. Ajul’s body reacted violently. She jerked this way and that, thrashing about as screams ripped from her. A few of the guards stepped back and I stared. She was wounded, yes, but I could see no new injuries forming. She acted as though she were being attacked, ripped apart before our very eyes.

“I will let you in on a secret my young lord. A large component of pain is in your head. Nothing is happening to her as you can plainly see, but it doesn’t matter. She thinks it is. Her brain thinks it is. That’s all that matters.” I lifted my hands and cursed when the shackles came into view. I didn’t want to hear anymore. Her screams had broken down into something that didn’t even sound human. She sounded like an animal being slaughtered. I looked away and tried to clamp down on the bile that rose in my throat. It tapered off slowly and I looked back at her. She was still now, save for her ragged breathing. She lay flat on the ground, smears of her blood staining the marble underneath her from where she’d thrashed. I pressed my palms to the ground as the crying started. She was a teenager. She wasn’t that old and the amount of suffering he was forcing her to endure...The crying turned into horrible sobbing and the men around us shuffled in discomfort. An unease had settled over everyone, and some of Anders’ red clad soldiers had to look away from the girl on the ground in disgust.

“Now, Kalian. The girl has been through a lot. You can end it here for her. Simply tell me what I need to know.” Ajul hadn’t stopped sobbing. She was mumbling words, but they all slid together. She was starting to gain coherence though and I wasn’t excited about that development. She was crying for her mother. She was asking the men to kill her. Slowly she began mumbling two words like a mantra, sorry and please. Anders cleared his throat and I turned to look at him. His face was completely blank. There was no remorse there, nothing about this was upsetting him other than my refusal to answer. The girl was begging for it to end ten feet from him and he addressed me as if we were having brunch.

“I have things I must attend to this morning. I can’t wait around all day for your answer.” He sighed. I don’t know what it was, but something happened in that moment. It was as if a window in my soul opened and a part of me had been ripped out. I adjusted my palms on the marble and pushed up hard with my legs. I swung and knocked the hands loose from me. The chain on my shackles caught a man in the eye, but I barely noticed. I wove in between guards and slipped through legs as I dove. To her. To the girl who had been stronger than any adult in this room had probably ever had to be.

I awkwardly hoisted her into my arms and pulled her to me. The guards didn’t approach, and I swore when I found out why. Her thrashing began anew with a flick of Anders’ wrist, and the screaming accompanied it. I held her tighter, trying to restrain her the best I could. There were long gouges in her arms from her own nails, scratches across her cheeks. I closed my eyes and then opened them. I found Anders’ and slipped my arms up. The awful noises leaving her mouth were choked off. Another part of me broke when the girl’s hands dropped to her sides, she gripped her pants. The metal cut into her neck and I kept my eyes on his as I held tight. His filled with emotion. Anger, for once, as he barked orders at his men. They eyed me wearily and I watched a few of them turn away in resignation.

“What’s wrong? Didn’t sign up to torture little girls? Not getting paid enough to watch them die so they don’t have to suffer any more so your boss can get off?” My eyes were surprisingly dry as Ajul finally slumped against me. I supported her weight and gently lowered her down. When I straightened, they fell on me. Apparently, we’d had a momentary truce. Once Ajul was removed from the equation, it was over. I was slammed to the ground. Hands pinned my legs, arms, and someone cracked my skull against the marble.

Fingers tangled in my hair and lifted my head, “Again, you think there is a way you win here. You don’t. Fighting only makes it harder on you.”

He slammed my head back into the hard ground and darkness had dragged me down. He’d touched me again and that had been worse than the marble cracking my skull. I’d woken sprawled in the middle of the room. Alone. It hadn’t taken long after I regained consciousness for Anders to start in on his own special brand of lunacy.

It was spring in Dimian. This cold I was feeling wasn’t natural. It was a product of Anders and my mind. Sometimes he liked to make me believe my organs were rupturing inside. Other times, he’d make me believe someone was taking a hammer to every bone in my body. I knew it wasn’t real, but like the Soul Eater, it was so convincing. Part of me wondered if this was also a little bit of what he’d stolen from the ancient monster. Had he enhanced this horrific gift with what he’d ripped from the thing? Either way, no matter what he was forcing me to endure, one thing was always left behind. There was a heavy brain fog. There were times it was so bad I barely had my own thoughts. I had a hard time remembering who I was, let alone anything important. The other times I could think, but it didn’t matter because the pain took over. He let me remember Ajul. He let me remember in detail what’d happened to her. That he was okay with me keeping. Even then, though, he tried to rob me of my defiance at the end.

A nudging in my head made me let out a soft huff. Talon. He wasn’t going to make it here in time. He wasn’t going to make it to me. He wasn’t going to save our friends and Anders was going to destroy my home and everything else that got in his way. My eyes slipped closed and in the dark my eyelids provided, I saw grey eyes. For someone so sarcastic and moody, he really did have a nice smile. Talon. The haze…lifted ever so slightly. I let out a whimper as my brain struggled to think for itself. I had to move. I couldn’t give up. People needed me. I couldn’t let Anders win. My fingertips twitched against the marble again and I winced at the dull throb in my digits. I was so tired, but I wanted to reach out. Maybe we could talk one last time? It had to be getting close to whatever ritual Phelti had mentioned. Anders would take my power for good and then I wasn’t sure if even Talon would be able to stop him. I tried to shift. The ground was digging painfully into my hip. The cold intensified at my lower back and for one horrifying moment, I felt paralyzed. I couldn’t look down, but I knew it was foolish. My legs hadn’t suddenly disappeared. I was numb. Only numb.

That nudging again. More persistent this time. My focus was pulled from it as voices approached. Focus. I could focus! Two sets of footsteps. One set was very familiar, the other heavier and foreign to me, “Are you sure we should discuss this in front of him?”

“He has no idea what’s going on around him. Look at him, he’s in a puddle of his own drool for gods’ sake.” Anders snapped and I kept my face neutral. I wanted to smile at the edge to his voice. Something had him upset. Good.

“We’re receiving very sporadic reports. Most of them are few and far between as the messengers are…they’re having a hard time making it back to report. There are rumors sir. They’re spreading through the camps like wildfire. Our desertion rate has skyrocketed, and recruitment has plummeted at the same time. With the reluctance of the proper military force, we may be in trouble.” The second voice rambled nervously.

“What are you talking about? Rumors? I trusted you to bring the military force that opposed us to heel. Why are they still opposing us?” Anders’ voice was raising, and my head was clearing quickly. That nudging had turned into a pull.

“The rumors sir…The camps are being attacked by phantoms. I-It’s impossible sir. Two spirits-one white and one black- fall upon a camp at night and within an hour, every man is slaughtered. Once they depart, the camp is burned to the ground. We’re barely able to make out the remnants.” The man’s voice was filled with real fear, but the gears in my mind were turning. Excitement fluttered in my stomach. Fire, black, white, and gratuitous violence.

“I will not hear your foolish superstitions. You did not think to check out these rumors before reporting to me? Send a force to investigate.” Anders over enunciated each word as if the man was simple. The pull turned insistent and it felt like I was yanked over the edge of a cliff. It didn’t hurt this time, but as I closed my eyes, the tether stretched itself out for me. I slid across it and a sigh was pulled from my lips as Talon’s presence wrapped around me like a thick blanket.

The throne room and the cold faded away and the white space I had grown to love appeared around me. Talon sat cross legged on a couch, head lifting as he felt me. He stood and time skipped. I was on his lap, thick arms crushing me to his chest as we clung to each other. Neither of us had spoken yet. Things were different. With both of us. I’d seen my eyes reflected in Talon’s. They’d looked vacant, empty like Anders’. It made sense. I felt hollow, the numbness had spread deeper than tissue it seemed. Talon seemed to have tilted in the opposite direction. Even here, his hair was a mess. His eyes moved a little too fast and his movements were jerky. He looked like Wren did when he was let loose on the battlefield. Completely unhinged and lacking humanity. Talking meant we’d have to address what was going on. The changes that had taken place in my absence. Why did short times spent apart mean cataclysmic changes for us? I had been gone a matter of days and it had been the same when Talon had been captured. Yet, each time, it seemed fate was determined we’d come out of it different people. If we came out at all this time.

“Day. We’re a day away. Wren, Eon, and I are going to jump. Tell me where.” He spoke finally, chin resting against my shoulder.

“You have to get the students somewhere safe. Evacuate the city and- “

“Loren and Rah have gone to the resistance. They should already be there. They’re in charge of that. I do not care about saving other lives.” Talon looked up at me and the black fanned from his pupil seemed to pulse.

“Tyren, Amaris, and Hanja?” I looked down at him, fingers curling in wild dark hair.

“Will stay outside the city. Once the students are out, they’ll set up a makeshift medical tent, or something. I stopped listening.” Talon’s fingers touched gently to my cheekbones.

“Leave Wren and Eon. Everyone needs to focus on evacuating the city.” His fingers stilled and I watched him swallow hard as I continued, “If we can control movements through the city, guiding civilians out and the crusade in…say with walls made of Magik…”

Talon closed his eyes, “That’s a lot of energy. Where am I guiding these soldiers Kalian?”

“To me and Anders of course.” I replied simply.

His eyes snapped open and I noticed for the first time that his canines were longer than normal even for him, “No. You know I would never agree to that.”

“I don’t need shadow to create walls. Metal and fire would work as well.” He fell silent, emotion slipping off his face. We stared at each other and I tried to fight off the slight fear that arose. I had no idea if my powers would even return in time. It didn’t matter. With them in a central location, if they killed me, Talon would know. Either way, they’d die. It may just be a little delayed.

“No power and blasé attitude toward dying, huh?” He mumbled and pushed me off his lap. I’d gotten lazy. I wasn’t used to the connection and none of my walls were up. I shifted to sit on my legs, watching him as he stood with his back to me.

“One day.” The vision faded and we maintained eye contact until he slipped from my mind.

The cold seeped back into my bones and I heard Anders ripping into the other man for his incompetence. He hadn’t agreed, but he hadn’t disagreed either. That meant I had zero idea where I stood. What awaited me tomorrow? When would Anders carry out his ritual and would he complete it before I could be of any use to our friends? From the sounds of it, a tentative plan was in place. Well, it sounded like the others had planned. Talon had a two-track mind, violence and me. That wasn’t new, but there were other lives at stake here, including our friends.

I forced myself to stare blankly as one set of feet approached and one retreated hastily, “Now, lord Kalian. The day is almost upon us. Are you excited? Was your visit with your lover pleasant? He seems to have freed you from my control a little. Bothersome.”

I winced and glared up at Anders. No use pretending if he knew what had happened, “No matter. I’ll simply reestablish the connection until I don’t need it anymore. Whatever do you think he’ll do when he finds a soulless husk in place of his once supple Sun Caster?”

“You should be the one thinking about that. Talon will destroy you either way, but if he gets here and you’ve killed me?” A strange laugh left me before I coughed. His smile fell and a wrinkle appeared on the bridge of his nose. He gripped my shoulder and I felt that haze slowly start to creep over again. We both stiffened when black walls rose around my own crumbling ones. His fingernails sunk into my shoulder as he tried to force his way in. I pushed at him and focused. Gold branched out over the black walls and I relaxed as I felt Anders’ presence leave my mind. My tiny victory was short lived.

My triumphant feeling evaporated as my eyes popped open. Fingers were wrapped around my neck, squeezing painfully tight. I couldn’t breathe. I let out strange gasping noises. Anders was not a physically strong person, however. I worked my legs up between us and kicked him hard off me. He stumbled back and I kicked again. It connected with his jaw. Anger fueled me, coupled with adrenaline. I was scrambling forward. For the first time, his eyes were wide with fear and I relished the look. I caught his foot as he attempted to crawl away. A snarl left my lips and I dragged him back. I straddled his thin waist as I brought my joined fists down again and again. He covered his head as the metal securing my wrists cut into his face. I heard a door open. I pushed myself to stand and began kicking. My toes caught his rubs, his stomach, and his hip. I felt a crunch. I heard him cry out. I didn’t stop kicking until I was tackled from the side.

“Take him back to the fucking cell! Beat him and give him a douse of the poison!” Anders screamed as more than one pair of arms restrained me. Fists hit my face and it was my turn to be kicked, but it didn’t matter. I didn’t care. I caught a glimpse of Anders through the chaos. He had to be helped up and his helper had to support his weight. He was hiding behind anger, but I stared through it. He was scared. Of me. Fascinating. I was dizzy but I kept my eyes on him, spitting my own blood to the side. The corners of my mouth crept up and I grinned at him, feeling blood drip down my chin. A fist connected with my jaw again and my head dropped forward, nodding from side to side as I was tugged along, my legs dragging under me. I spit out more blood and blinked as my vision blurred.

The walk seemed longer this time. Maybe because I wasn’t walking or vertical. It was over now. I lay face down on the dirty, smelly floor. I had received my second beating of the day. Was it a bad sign when you were able to start keeping a tally for things like that? On the bright side, I wasn’t freezing anymore, but I couldn’t get up. Meep wasn’t in the cell. I didn’t hear his tiny shuffling steps. He didn’t come out of the shadows to check on me. That bothered me more than any other part of my current predicament. My upper arm throbbed where a needle had been jammed into my skin. Sure enough, I could feel the fever creeping up on me. Did it not matter that my power was blocked when he tried to take it from me? Obviously not. My eyes rolled back as I felt myself start to shake.

*Talon*

Seeing him again had probably triggered part of my brain that was perhaps already a little…sensitive. I was shaking. I didn’t know from what. Was it the simmering rage that hadn’t left me for days? Perhaps, the heartache and helplessness that’d sat on my chest like a demon with every flare of pain I felt through the weak connection? Could it have been the fucking dead look in his eyes when I had finally managed to force the tether to work? Maybe it was the really fun part where he had factored his dying into a plan without even a second thought. As if he’d been making plans for a trip to the market. What world was I living in? Kalian? Happy, bright, human embodiment of sunshine Kalian? My Kalian? The only bright spot in my literal shit lif-

“Fuck, fuck.” I dropped, gripping my hair as my breath sawed in and out of my lungs as I balanced on the balls of my feet.

“Talon?” Nails skimmed gently over my back, “Oh Tallie, hey.”

I shook off Amaris’ hands. I could handle this. I needed to deal with it. Resting my palms on the ground, I leaned forward. The sharp angle brought pain to my joints and I waited for it to distract me. I pressed harder and a shadow moved around me. Hands gripped my shoulders and shoved me backwards.

“Stop! You’re going to break your wrists, moron! What is going on? You woke everyone up and then took off. What is happening?”

“Now. We need to go now. Right now.” I stared up at her from the ground. She looked down at me, eyes searching my face for something.

“Then we will leave now.” A voice said behind me. Eon stood nearby, the rest of our group behind him. He ran a hand over his beard and Wren nodded once. They all sprang into action. No one asked any questions. There weren’t any protests, no arguments. The camp was dismantled in record time and hands moved deftly to secure belongings, hiding or discarding anything that wasn’t crucial. It was quiet. Somber. Amaris and Loren had already had their goodbyes and she stood next to me. I stared at the road ahead. Tyren and Hanja had stepped into the tree line, hiding themselves from view. I glanced over and watched Wren’s eyes flick over Eon as he strapped weapons to himself. Wren smacked his hands away and took over. Eon watched. His face was impassive as small, clawed hands worked. I looked away when he brought a hand up to cup Wren’s cheek. Eon’s hands were massive and, in the moonlight, Wren almost didn’t look like a horrific monster. Almost.

“Ready.” Hanja mumbled as he and a grim-faced Tyren rejoined the group. Wren and Eon came soon after. Wren’s hair was messed up and his lower lip had a small, bloody tear, but he simply nodded at us. Eon sighed, stretching his arms above his head.

“If we, uh, don’t make it for some reason…thank you. For being the closest thing, I’ve ever had to a family.” Amaris mumbled, looking away quickly. We set off after that. Emotions rolled through the group and seemed to stifle conversation. I didn’t know what to do. Kalian had wanted us to focus on rescuing civilians. Hanja and Tyren had agreed of course. Their students still resided behind those walls after all. Wren wanted to settle the score with Anders. Eon and I seemed to be set on Kalian and Kalian alone. I thought anyway.

“My family would still be in the city. I think.” Eon said after we’d been walking for a few hours, “If they are, we should try and help them get out. They might resist.”

“We will save everyone we can.” Tyren reassured, nodding and resting a hand on Eon’s bicep. Wren narrowed his eyes and Tyren rolled his and motioned to Hanja.

“I wonder if the resistance has already started evacuating.” Amaris sighed. She was really thinking about Loren. Weird freak. I wasn’t sure how I felt about him yet. Part of me still wished he was a red stain on redder dirt somewhere. The other part noticed the way Amaris’ eyes lit up when she mentioned him or when he’d shown her attention. Maybe he would die, and I wouldn’t have to nail down exactly what I thought.

“They would have to move very slow. A mass evacuation would clearly be a red flag. I doubt much has been done.” Hanja answered, “The most work will be done in the most stressful settings unfortunately.”

They knew what Kalian wanted us to do. None of them had agreed. Everyone had shot it down for a different reason. Even Wren had scoffed at the overall lack of violence and the fact that he wouldn’t get to murder a whole bunch of people himself. That lead us back to the original plan. Wren, Eon, and I jumping in and finding Kalian. I should have enough to jump us out and from there I didn’t care what happened. We’d have him back and I’d let the gods’ damned corruption have me if it meant no one took him from me again.

“How close do you want to jump from?” Eon asked, eyes scanning the horizon as we walked. We weren’t a full 24 hours away. We’d get there before nightfall.

“Right outside the first wall. It doesn’t take as much. That way I’ll have Magik to fight with.” Eon nodded and I didn’t miss the clawed hand that was fisted in the back of his shirt. Wren wasn’t scared. Before and since the Soul Eater, I had never seen him experience fear. I think the anticipation was eating away at the little monster. It was rare for him to be facing a battle this large. My eyes scanned over the faces of the group, excited, serious, resigned, and blank. I looked away. My apathy towards everything that wasn’t my partner was growing at an alarming rate. There had been pain throbbing over the connection since the last time Kalian had been wrenched from me and I wanted to remember every bit of it so I could repay it tenfold. That made it hard for anything else to matter.

Anders had to know we were coming by now. If he didn’t, he was less formidable than I thought. If he did, he must be panicking. Did he get any sleep? Did he stay up all night, watching from a balcony high up to make sure no one crested one of the hills? I grinned. Too bad I didn’t have the Soul Eater’s power. He didn’t use it the way he should have. Access to dreams? Nightmares? I’d make Anders piss himself. He’d never sleep again. I shook my head and smacked myself. Focus. Focusing was important here. We had something important to do. Obviously Tyren, Amaris, and Hanja would have more structured roles. Ours were simply to go in, get Kalian, and kill everything that moved and wasn’t friendly. That’s about all I could handle right now. Strategy was gone. That part of my brain wasn’t functioning at its highest level.

My eyes caught a flash and were drawn to a simple necklace around Tyren’s neck that was forming between his fingers. I remembered screaming, convulsions, and blood. It was his student. The girl I’d seen in Kalian’s head when I had plucked the thought from him. I’d watched Kalian strangle her to death. He’d freed her, really, but I knew Kal wouldn’t see it that way. When he made it out, he would shoulder her death for the rest of his life. Tyren didn’t know she was dead. He didn’t know why, and he didn’t know who had ended her life. That could be messy when he found out. There’s no way he could fault Kalian.

Was there? He couldn’t see the events play out the way I could. He couldn’t hear the screaming as clearly, the begging. My chest ached for Kalian. He wasn’t built to weather something like that. That could’ve been the reason for the vacant expression. He’d never been exposed to something quite so…graphic. I was losing focus again, but there wasn’t much to do as we walked along. We’d fallen back into silence and it felt as though we were in a giant bubble. The first one to talk would pop it and my instinct said that was bad for some reason.

“Talon, did you see Kal? How is he?” Amaris didn’t have the same instinct. I didn’t want to answer. The question made me want to drop back into the fetal position and huff until my breathing regulated itself. Outwardly, I remained calm somehow. I glanced over my shoulder at her and she raised an eyebrow. She had a thin scar under her eye now from the battle where Kalian had been taken and the clean white line seemed to follow along her cheekbone. I had a hard time dragging my eyes away from it for some reason.

“Not good.” I mumbled and turned back around. She rushed up beside me and I knew she was glaring without even looking at her.

“You have to give us more than that. Kalian is our friend. He’s Eon’s brother. You don’t think he wants to know how his sibling is doing? You’re being selfish.” She gripped at my shirt and I wrenched my arm away. A noise left my throat that wasn’t human. Something between a growl and a snarl and I felt my claws extend. I looked down at them and frowned. I was losing control more frequently. It used to pop up when I used a lot of Magik. Now I struggled to keep it at bay every single second. Amaris stared at me and crossed her arms.

“He’s not okay. Anders is being…about as evil as we thought he’d be. Kalian’s not acting like himself and I don’t know how to make it better. I don’t know if it can be made better.” The words fell out of my mouth in a rush and I pressed on. I didn’t wait for her reaction. I didn’t care to know what she thought. I didn’t have time for this. Arguing over stupid petty things when we were on the verge of a fight was pointless.

She was still talking. Still. I tuned her out and kept my eyes ahead. No time. I had no time for anything else. I was ready to jump by myself. I could do it. A dark voice in the back of my head whispered dangerous things. It tried to convince me to give in. Let it take control. I glanced down and lifted my hand. My fingertips had been black for two days. I’d been catching my lower lip on my teeth and had even cut it a few times. Something was already happening. Would it hurt to let it take over? It made me stronger. I’d taken on Wren after all and won. That realization had shaken me for days. A sick part of my mind had been glad. Regardless of our relationship now, he had been directly responsible for a great deal of my suffering. Absentmindedly, I ran my fingers over the raised scars on my shoulders. Oh, memories.

Focus,Talon, focus.

The sun had come up and I had been checking the tether periodically. Kalian didn’t answer. I could sense him faintly. Jumbled thoughts slipped to me occasionally, but nothing that made sense. That wasn’t good. I sighed and glanced behind me. The nearest person was quite a distance back and I grimaced. Did they not know we were in a hurry? We needed to go faster. Something wasn’t right. Well, a lot of things weren’t right. There was a faint tang of pain under his confusion, but that wasn’t the worst part. Kalian couldn’t communicate again, and I had just managed to open the connection. He’d mentioned not having his power. What was going on? I had a thousand questions and zero answers. It was maddening and that I didn’t need. I could provide my own madness, thank you. I teetered on the edge of my own specific kind on a day to day basis.

“We need to have a conversation. It’s become necessary,“ Eon sighed out, annoyance shaping his tone. The others fell into step next to us. Other than Wren. He continued walking behind us, arms resting on his head, claws turned up to the sun. The strange pose shielded his pink eyes a bit from the day’s light.

“I don’t know why a conversation would be necessary right now.” I snapped angrily.

“Calm down. There’s a very real possibility that when we arrive, even if we jump, Kalian may be- “

“No. I’m not talking about that.” I stepped away and to my surprise, Eon’s large hand clamped down on my shoulder. He was a bit shorter, but he leveled me with a sharp gaze. The blue and orange flecks in his pale eyes looked alight and I thought his gaze alone would ignite me.

He forced me to stop and I let him. He cleared his throat and glanced over to where Wren was poking at something on the ground with his toe. I wasn’t ready when the intensity in his eyes landed back on me and he asked bluntly, “If we get there and my brother is dead. What is your plan?”

“Rip the city off the hill and crush it into the ground.” I replied, hiding my fingers behind my legs and from view. So far, I don’t think anyone had noticed. The voice agreed softly that it should stay that way.

“What if we haven’t cleared it of civilians?” Eon asked, releasing my shoulder in favor of crossing his muscular arms. What did he do? Toss trees around for fun?

I shrugged and followed a puffy cloud with my eyes, “Collateral damage.”

“Not good enough, Talon. Kalian wouldn’t want innocent people to die so that you can go on a rampage.” Tyren of all people said, brow furrowed as his mouth slipped into a frown. I felt like I’d been scolded by a parent. Or what I imagined that felt like.

“We need a plan B. More than bloodlust. There are people counting on us. Innocent people, children, families, students, Kalian and Eon’s family.” Hanja added.

“Then plan but do it while you’re walking. Tell me what you need from me when you’ve finished.” I turned and continued. In no time really, we would be there. I would have him back.

And I would have him back.

Or Anders and I would discover new tiers of pain and suffering together.