The Priest's Tale - 7. Chapter 7

When Peter arrived back at the house in mid-afternoon, only Julio was home.

Seated at the kitchen island, he smiled hesitantly, “Hi, Peter. Uh, are we still OK?”

“Sure. I think we came to an understanding this morning, and I’m good with it. I hope you two are.”

“We admit we acted like shits, albeit horny ones. We’re really sorry, and we promise nothing like will happen again.”

He extended his hand, and Peter took it, drawing Julio into a brief hug.

“I said we’re OK, and I meant it. I... fucking meant it.”

Julio grinned, relieved. “Glad to hear you talking like that. Little by little, you’re shedding your inhibitions. Say, how did you get here? I thought you were riding home with Bax.”

“I walked. It wasn’t that far, and the weather is so nice I enjoyed being outdoors and getting a little exercise.”

Julio chuckled, “I guess that’s normal where you come from. Out here, we exercise in a gym and only walk from the house to the car.”

Peter laughed. “Yes, that’s totally different from what I’m used to.”

They opened a bottle of wine and adjourned to the sitting room in the front of the house.

The room was comfy, with a high ceiling. It was furnished with period pieces, but had a 20th-century masculine vibe—no frilly throw pillows or chintz curtains in sight.

As they made themselves comfortable opposite each other on matching settees on each side of a carved wooden coffee table, Julio said, “Peter, you’re a great guy, and I’m glad to know you. I hope we’re friends for a long time.”

“Well, at least as long as the university will have me.”

Julio nodded happily, and they sipped their wine in silence for a while.

Peter looked up. “Uh... there is one thing I would... well, never mind. It’s none of my business.”

“No. Go on. What is you want to say?”

Peter swallowed.

Should I even bring this up? I don’t want to sabotage the comfortable arrangement we all made this morning.

“I think maybe I’m overstepping...”

“Dammit, Peter, just fucking come out with it.”

Taking a deep breath, he began, “Julio, I can tell you and Bax have a... close... relationship...”

“You mean we’re lovers.”

“Yes. Please forgive me, I don’t have all the usual words...”

“I’ll make it easy. We’re lovers and we fuck each other. Does that make it easy?”

Peter giggled uncomfortably. “Yes, it sure does.”

“So what’s your question?”

“Um, there are actually two questions. One is the age difference, but that’s not the big thing... I’m referring to the power dynamic I mentioned this morning.”

“Go on.” Julio said again.

“Well, isn’t it a no-no for a person who’s a teacher or professor or advisor to have a relationship with a student or advisee? I mean, in my experience in academia it always was.”

Julio smiled benignly. “Yes, Peter. It’s officially frowned upon. And yet it happens more often than people realize. When two people are in each other’s company for an extended period, and they find that a close attraction exists between them... well, it’s not all that unusual for that attraction to become a physical thing.”

Peter’s raised eyebrows urged Julio to go on.

“And the thing between Bax and me is relatively new. We didn’t hook up at the university, you know.”

“You didn’t?”

“No, we were both at a reception for a new dean at Berkeley about two years ago, and it was boring as fuck. I stepped out into a garden to smoke a joint and hide from the bullshit and snobs, and there he was, doing the same thing. We introduced ourselves, spoke for a long time, hit it off, and ended up coming back here to his house.”

Peter’s wide-eyed expression said it all.

“Yeah, we ‘hooked up,’ and people do that all the time, Peter—gay and straight. You’re going to have to get over being shocked by every revelation of how the fucking real world works.”

“You’re right, Julio. I’m gonna try to conquer that, but a long-standing aversion to anything to do with sex—straight or gay—is kind of ingrained in me.”

“No shit.” He softened, “But you’ll figure it out. I think you’re already making progress. Every time you say fuck, you relax a little more.”

Peter laughed, "You're so fucking right!"

Julio went on, “So anyway, we liked being together, so I moved in. Maybe this will help with your concern: Bax was never my professor or faculty advisor. Hell, he wasn’t even on my dissertation committee. He sat in the audience when I defended, applauded politely with everyone else, and took me aside for a private kiss when it was over.”

Peter nodded, trying to refashion his perceptions of love and relationships.

“So how did you become his RA? Isn’t that a position of power over you?”

Julio chuckled. “The jury is still out on the question of which of us has power over the other! However, I only got the research associate post temporarily after I received my degree.”

He explained, “The university was worried that I’d get an offer from some other institution and leave, so they invented a job for me until the next semester begins. They arranged for me to report—technically—to Bax, so there would be some fig-leaf of justification for paying me to stay here. But there’s no 'power dynamic' between us.”

“That suggests they don’t know about the two of you, doesn’t it?”

“I... guess that’s true... but since Bax doesn’t have any control over my education, and the job I’ve been offered doesn’t report to him...”

“But couldn’t you both get in trouble?”

“Well, once I’m a member of the faculty there wouldn’t be any issue, and Bax and I aren’t the only couple like this at Hayward.”

“You’re not?”

“Fuck no. As I said, it’s not unheard of for an older-younger couple to be in love, and there are two or three other similar pairings. In fact, couples like us lean toward socializing mostly with people in a similar situation.”

“Wow. I never imagined...”

“Oh, come on, Peter. No one ever confessed this kind of thing to you?”

Peter’s head shot up. “I can’t discuss anything I was told in confession.”

Julio apologized, “Oh, of course. I didn’t mean that you should. But hypothetically, I find it kinda hard to believe you’ve never heard of such a thing.”

“Hypothetically, sure. But I guess the morality and ethics of it have always been set in stone in my thinking.”

“OK. I’ll say two things. First, Bax and I love each other...”

“Even though he has sex with other men?”

“That was a bit of an exaggeration. Once in a while, we invite someone else to play with us...”

“Was that an invitation to me last night?”

Julio blushed. “Yeah, in a way. But we would have been surprised as shit if you had taken the bait.”

Peter raised his eyebrows.

Julio continued, “And, honestly, once in a while one of us meets somebody who is interesting and...”

“Desirable?”

“I was gonna say willing, but sure, desirable, too. We’ve given each other permission to stray a little from the fold, as long as it doesn’t become serious. In fact, if things do start to turn that way, we agreed we would only continue with the... thing... if we invite the new person into a threesome, so we can both enjoy him.”

Peter was speechless.

Julio patted his hand sympathetically. “I guess this is hell of a lot for you to take in. I mean, you’ve been celibate your whole fucking life, either not aware or not accepting that you are gay, and without warning you’re dropped down into a gay if-it-feels-good-do-it shit storm.”

“I always heard this was a free-thinking area.”

“You’re referring to the flower children and free-sex of the 1970s and 80s?”

“I guess so. I grew up torn between a prurient interest in knowing what people were doing and a strong morality being drilled into me from all sides.”

“Well, let me take you back to the one thing that matters: Bax loves me, and I love him. How we express that love, and what other people we invite to share it with us, is all part of loving each other. If anyone has issues with that, then I refer them back to the first sentence.”

“Mm-hm.” Peter nodded, trying to process this strange situation.

“And as for the age difference, there are plenty of straight couples with the same thing going on, and they all seem happy and well-accepted in society. It pisses me off that gay men in particular are viewed with suspicion when we are doing the same shit as straights.”

“And what shit are we doing that’s the same as straights? I’d love to hear the rest of that thought,” Bax laughed as he entered the sitting room.

“Oh, Peter was wondering how we manage our relationship—from the power dynamic and the older-younger perspectives.”

“And you managed to defend us to his satisfaction?”

“You’ll have to ask Peter.”

They both turned to him, and his face reddened.

“Um... I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to pry... I’m completely at a loss to understand what’s happening in my own life, so I guess I’m looking for role models or at least examples in the lives of others.”

Bax grinned. “If you’re looking for role models in this house, you’re going to find yourself so fucking confused you’ll give up and go back to the cloister.”

Peter laughed. “It wasn’t a cloister, but I see what you mean. For now—Julio, I appreciate our chat. And Bax, I may have some questions for you sooner or later.”

“Ask away. Now is there any of that goddamn wine left?”

 

That night, as Peter waited to fall asleep, the house was thankfully quiet. He wondered briefly if Baxter and Julio were making love again, but he was glad he couldn’t hear, or see, the answer to his question.

He hoped they were happy together, but he was more than a little alarmed when Julio said he and his lover also had sex with other people.

I admit I’m naïve about all this, but if or when I do start having gay sex, I believe it must be important to be faithful to one person, or at least one person at a time.

 

* * * * *

 

A month later, Peter lay in his bed, enjoying the fresh, cool morning air wafting in through his open window.

As he always did when he was trying to figure things out, he mused silently.

Well, Petey old boy, things didn’t turn out so badly after all. You have lived with these two assholes for a whole month. Classes have started, and you are pleased with your students and the interns you’re supervising. Guess you’re gonna be all right.

Dan’s face materialized in his mind.

Yeah. Except for Dan. Fuck! Why can’t I get over him? I obviously don’t mean anything to him. The bastard’s never contacted me again after the fucking letter he left for me on the train.

He got out of bed, showered and shaved. He strode up the hallway, passed through the no-longer mysterious door, and rounded the stairs into the kitchen.

Julio was making coffee.

“Morning,” Peter said cheerily. “Bax up yet?”

“In the shower.”

Peter went over and ruffled Julio’s hair. “Ready for today?” Julio turned and drew his friend into a hug. “Ready as I’ll ever be.”

Baxter came into the room. “So you guys are at it already.”

The two giggled guiltily.

“I was simply wishing Julio all the best on his first day as a brand-new associate professor.”

“And I remember telling Peter buena suerte on his first day last month.”

“Well, I’m wishing you both a hell of a lot of things, but I’m starving, so can we eat our goddamn breakfast now?”

 

The three climbed into Baxter’s BMW for the 15-minute drive to the campus. Parking in his reserved spot at the Admin Building, Bax gave Julio a quick kiss and patted Peter on the back. The two professors left in different directions for their places of work.

Peter worked in the Arts and Sciences Complex, where he taught two sections of Intro to Psychology and two graduate-level courses in the School of Social Welfare. He also supervised eleven grad students who were interning as social workers at various local organizations.

In addition, he served at the campus counseling center two afternoons a week, where he had a half dozen regular student clients and a few drop-ins.

Peter was a little surprised by how many of them were struggling with either their sexual orientation or bedroom activities. It amazed him that he was able to help them at all, given he was still a virgin and not dating anyone.

Not to mention I’m totally confused about sex myself! Maybe that helps me empathize with them.

Bax and Julio had made sure Peter met people and attended gatherings, on-campus and off. He had made friends with plenty of men who were both eligible and acceptable—meaning not out to hurt or take advantage of him—but he had not gone past basic friendship with anyone.

Peter was becoming accustomed to the openness of the gay men and women on campus. He had asked his housemates if this was due to the location close to San Francisco or the fact that a college usually is a liberal place.

“Probably both,” Baxter explained, “but mostly because you are so goddamn hot and innocent. Nobody wants to rush you, but practically everyone is dying for the day when you meet someone and give it up to them.”

“Give what up?”

Julio jumped in, “Oh, your ass, your cock, your whole fucking body, take your pick.”

“Well, if and when I’m ready... I’m not gonna tell you!” They all laughed.

Julio asked, “And what about your... faith... your church?”

Peter grimaced. “Honestly, it’s still too soon to say much, and I’m not in any hurry to exorcise my demons, whatever they might be. But I can tell you that I’m at peace with my decision, and I don’t believe God hates me—either for being gay or for leaving the priesthood. More than that could take years for me to work out.”

“But you’re comfortable here, with us?” Bax inquired.

“I am. With both of you, with your relationship, and with all the people you’ve introduced me to.” He smiled warmly.

From his first day at UC Hayward, Peter had been “out” to the entire campus, and a lot of students and faculty were secretly hoping he’d develop an amorous attraction to them. He was careful to hold back and never show any interest, especially in the ones he was counseling.

“Do you live vicariously through their sexual escapades?” Baxter asked one day as the three gathered for lunch in the campus café.

“Well, I hope not. When I’m talking with them, I’m trying my best to maintain a non-judgmental, helpful listening attitude, without thinking too much about what it is they’re doing.”

He pondered a moment, considering his counseling clients. “Most of them are confused. Some think they’re in love, others think they’ll never find the right guy, and a couple of them are certifiable sex maniacs who would do it ten times a day if they could.”

“Would you care to introduce me to any of those?” Bax winked.

“Not on your life. They’ve got enough on their minds without hooking up with a lecher like you! I'll keep my professional life and my home life separate, thank you very much.”

The older man laughed heartily, then grew strangely solemn.

“Well, I’m afraid you might be pissed at us, then.”

Peter furrowed his brow. “Pissed at you? Why... what have you done?”

Julio interrupted. “We didn’t do anything bad... or at least we hope we didn’t.”

“Out with it.”

Baxter smiled grimly. “We invited a few people over for drinks and snacks tonight.”

Julio added, “Peter, since you’ve been living with us, our social life has been... well... non-existent.”

“Yes,” Baxter chimed in. “We are used to having friends over frequently, and we thought it might be OK with you if we resumed our get-togethers.

Peter blushed and bowed his head. “Guys, I’m so sorry. I never meant to interfere with your friendships and social lives. Please forgive me... and invite anyone you want to the house.”

He looked up at them and cocked his head to one side. “But don’t try to hook me up with any of your ‘friends’ or expect me to... well... to do anything with anybody, one-on-one or in a group. I’m nowhere near ready for that.”

Bax smiled guiltily. “The thought never even crossed my mind.”

Peter gave him a look that said he knew bullshit when he heard it.

“OK, Peter, we understand—and we’re not trying to ‘hook you up’ with anyone. But we have a large circle of friends, and we’re pretty sure at least some of them will be the kind of people you would enjoy knowing. No strings attached—meet and greet, nothing more. Is that all right with you?”

“Of course. It’s your house, anyway.”

“No, it’s our house. You live here, too,” Julio interjected.

 

The little soirée turned out to be a porch party for thirty people. About half of them were couples, and half a dozen were women.

“Are you having a good time?” Julio asked Peter, his voice a little slurred.

“I am, and it sounds like you definitely are.”

“Well, I’d hate for all this excellent wine to go to waste.”

“I’ve never known that to happen in this house... Uh, can I ask you something?”

“Shoot.”

“Are all these people gay?”

Julio laughed. “I couldn’t say about all of them, but a good many are. If you want to know if someone’s gay, fucking ask them.”

Peter blushed and Julio walked away, chuckling to himself.

Well, I sure fucked up that conversation, but I bet he’ll forget all about it by tomorrow.

Peter mingled with the guests. He learned that most were from the university, but a few were graduates who had taken jobs elsewhere. He didn’t ask anyone about their sexual orientation.

Trying to be open and friendly with everyone was taking a toll on Peter’s conversational skills. He slipped away into the kitchen ostensibly to check on whatever needed doing, even though he knew the food and beverages were all outside.

He walked into the semi-darkened room and opened a cupboard. Realizing he wasn’t looking for anything in particular, he slowly shut it.

Then he jumped out of his skin.

As the door closed, he saw a face only a couple of feet away. Someone had come in quietly and was standing on the other side of the cabinet door, looking right at him.

“Shit!”

“Oh, I’m so sorry, Dr Ruxton. I didn’t mean to startle you.”

“Well, you did a damn good job of it.”

With a sigh, the stranger said, “Could we start over? Hello, I’m Rob Stryker. I’m a friend of Bax and Julio’s. I used to be a student at Hayward.” He stuck out his hand.

Taking the hand, Peter put his meet-and-greet face back on. “Hello, Rob. Nice to meet you. Please call me Peter.”

“Peter. I take it you live here with the two of them?”

“Oh, don’t read too much into that. I have a private apartment in the back of the house. But we do share meals, and they invited me to their party tonight.”

“Well, in my experience, their parties can sometimes get... shall we say, intimate?”

What is he talking about? Is he trying to tell me they’re planning an orgy? Wait! Why do I jump to conclusions that everything people say is somehow sexual?

They made eye contact and said nothing for several long seconds. Rob was six feet tall, slim, muscular, around Peter’s age, and with a handsome face. His brown hair and eyes fit in perfectly with his surfer tan. He was dressed casually in slacks and loafers, and Peter could see some dark chest hair peeking out of his open shirt.

Damn! This man is good-looking—Julio would say he’s “hot.” My stomach is doing flip-flops. Better end this quickly and return to the party.

“I, uh, think I should head back to the party,” Peter began.

“What’s the hurry? I thought we were both seeking refuge from the crush of guests.”

“Honestly, I was all crushed out. But I suck at making small talk with people I have just met.”

“Understandable. So why don’t we find a quiet place to sit and relax? You already have your wine, but I might be able to scarf up a bottle somewhere around here.”

Peter laughed. “Never hard to do in this house.” He went over to another cabinet and extracted a Pinot Noir, which he opened expertly.

“This way.” He led the way out of the kitchen.

What the hell am I doing? Why am I so relaxed with this total stranger? What the fuck?

They went into the sitting room and sat down side-by-side on a settee. Peter placed the wine bottle on a coaster on the table in front of them. The only light came from a small reading lamp on the other side of the room. The noise of the party seemed muted and far away.

After a brief awkward silence, Rob began, “I understand you’re a new professor in the psych department.”

“Psychology and sociology. I teach undergrads and graduate students, supervise some who are going for their LSW, and also meet with clients in the counseling center.”

“That sounds like a heavy load.”

Heavy load? Oh boy, why am I taking every thing he says as sexual banter? Shit! What the hell is going on?

“Oh, I’m enjoying being busy. How about you, Rob? What do you do?”

“I have an engineering degree, and I work for a software firm in The Valley.”

“The Valley?”

“The place they call Silicon Valley. You know, where Apple and HP and the others are all located—down toward San Jose.”

The first words of a familiar song popped into Peter’s head: ♫Do you know the way to San Jose?♫

I’d like to know the way to wherever Rob wants to go. No, cut that out!

Peter pulled his thoughts out of the gutter. “You must be very smart. I can barely use my computer for typing.”

Rob laughed. “That alone is often an accomplishment. Actually, the team I’m with is working on speech recognition, so some day you won’t have to type at all—the computer will understand what you say and type it for you.”

Wide-eyed, Peter exclaimed, “How soon can I buy one of those?”

Their laughter was relaxed and amiable.

What’s going on here? I am finding myself so comfortable with this guy. I might even say I’m attracted to him, but dammit, I can’t let that happen... again.

“I gotta say I was a little surprised to learn that Bax and Julio had someone sharing their house. They’ve always been protective of their relationship.”

How does he know that? Was he... no, I don’t want to know.

Blushing, Peter replied, “Their relationship is... something I’ve never seen before, but I can tell you I’m not part of it, if that’s what you were thinking.”

“Oh no, not at all. I just... oh shit, I don’t know what I was thinking.” He took a long sip of his wine. “To tell you the truth, I was desperately hoping you weren’t involved in some fucking love triangle with the two of them.”

And I was just wondering if you were.

“Really? Why?”

Rob leaned in closer and locked eyes with Peter.

He placed his hand on Peter’s shoulder and loosely touched his neck, rubbing it softly with his thumb. “Because I find you very interesting, Peter Ruxton.”

Oh. My. God.

Peter was stunned and immobilized. He forgot to breathe.

He swallowed hard and raised his hand, lightly wrapping his fingers around Rob’s wrist.

Gently, Rob drew their faces together.

Peter could feel Rob’s breath, warm and sweet on his cheek.

My heart is pounding, and my cock is getting hard. Shit! Shit! Shit!

Their lips met delicately.

Rob opened his mouth and Peter did the same.

Rob used his free hand to pull Peter closer and eased his tongue into his mouth. Peter sucked on it and pressed his against it.

I want this. I do. Don’t stop, Rob, do whatever you want with me. Teach me how to...

“I have a first edition you’d die to see,” Bax spoke loudly as he and another man came across the hallway toward the sitting room.

Peter and Rob jumped apart as the two men entered the room.

“Oh, Peter. Rob. I’m sorry. I didn’t realize anybody was in here.”

Rob rescued the situation. “Both of us were tired and needed a quiet haven for a few moments’ peace.”

“Not to say the party isn’t loads of fun, and all the guests are interesting,” Peter awkwardly added.

Bax smiled knowingly. “Well, don’t let us disturb your respite.” He quickly walked over to a bookcase and extracted a leather-bound volume, which he handed to the guest who had accompanied him into the house. “Let’s look at this in the kitchen. The light is too dim in here.”

As he ushered his friend out, Bax turned his head back toward Peter and Rob and winked.

The two men on the couch took a deep breath and relaxed, inching apart.

“I think we should rejoin the party...” Peter began.

“For sure,” Rob agreed. “But... I’d like to get to know you better... if that’s all right with you.”

Peter equivocated, “I guess so. I’m not really that interesting a person...”

“Leave that for me to decide.” Rob reached into his pocket and took something out.

“Here’s my card. My home, office, and cell phones are all listed.”

“Oh, I don’t have business cards yet. They tell me they’ve been ordered...”

“So how about you write your phone number on my hand?” Rob handed Peter a ballpoint pen.

Peter laughed. “I’ve never done this before.” He quickly inscribed the digits on Rob’s palm.

“I’ll call you,” Rob said with a friendly smile.

Peter nodded. Sure you will. Just like Dan. And I’ll fucking jump right into bed with you as soon as you offer—NOT!