All I Ever Wanted - 10. Chapter 10

Of all the stories I’ve read and I’ve listened to, not one of them compares to it.

It was soft and easy. His scent only made it better. The rain continued to bathe us, but it also made it better. He pulled me closer while I rested my arms around his neck.

Nothing else mattered in that moment. It was just the two of us. There were no limits, no boundaries. There were no rules to follow.

It was just me and him showing our true feelings.

It felt perfect. The first kiss. Flawless. Fearless.

After what felt like a minute, our lips finally parted but we didn’t let go of each other.
He rested his head on my shoulder and I instinctively started running my fingers on his hair.

We stayed like that for a while. I don’t know what he was thinking, but inside my mind there was some serious shit going on.

The rain had stopped. I was afraid to speak, but I had too.

“Christopher, I’m sorry,”

“Don’t be. I understand,” he whispered.

There was no other sound than our breathings.

“I went through all the possible scenarios,” he said still resting his head on my shoulder. “Rejection, anger, fear, acceptance… I even thought about you beating the shit out of me,”

“What? You know I’d never do that,” I said.

“I know. But I had to consider all the possibilities,” He lifted his head and looked me straight in the eyes. “I didn’t consider this one,”

“What? An idiot ranting off and making quite the scene?”

He laughed.

“You know what I mean,” he said.

I smiled weakly and he smiled in return.

“I really liked it,” he said.

“Me too,”

We sat down and he rested his back on the tree’s trunk once again. He motioned me to rest my back on his chest, and so I did.

He hugged me from behind and held me close to him.

“How did we get here, Jo?”

I laughed and thought about it.

“I have no idea, Christopher,”

A small breeze waved and with it a reminder of how alone and at peace we were.

“You still haven’t answered me,” he said.

“I don’t really know what to answer,”

“It’s an easy question!”

“It’s a complicated answer!”

He sighed and I took it as a sign that I should express myself fully.

“They see us differently. You know we are not accepted. It won’t be easy. We can not just change our lives so radically in one day,”

“But I want to be with you,”

“So do I,”

“So?”

I took a deep breath and with all the pain in my heart spoke.

“We’ve been good as friends. I-I think we should stay like that,”

“No! I want you, Jo!” He hugged me tighter and rested his head on my shoulder. “Please, don’t do this!”

“I’m sorry, Christopher,”

“What’s it going to take?”

“Nothing, I’m sorry,”

“Josiah!” he whispered. “I love you. I love you. I love you! Please, say yes,”

“I can’t,”

“Please, Jo. Don’t do this,”

His voice was starting to tremble and he gasped for air a few times.

Was I seriously going to let my chance to be with him slip away?

But I just couldn’t say yes. Because it would bring more pain than happiness.

Because I would have him, but with limits. I would not be able to hug him or kiss him whenever or wherever I wanted to.

“Jo, don’t do this. Don’t give up on us before actually giving it a chance,”

An epiphany couldn’t have come in a better moment.

Christopher was the one I loved. He was the only person who could make me feel happy.
He was constantly in my mind, in my thoughts. I craved for him. I cried for him. I would do anything for him.
By some sort of fate, destiny, or whatever they call it, I had ended up that night there, with him. And he wanted me. He loved me.

“Ask me again,” I said.

“What?”

I turned around and pushed him on the grass. I threw myself over him and unleashed every bit of lust I had accumulated over the pass of the years.

I kissed him hard, rough and passionately, like if my life was depending on it. I ran my hands all over him, through his hair, down his cheeks and into his chest, passing over his rock-hard abs to finally intertwine with his hands.

Our tongues were fighting a war of their own. I deliberately bit his lip in an attempt to taste him as much as I could.

The only reason I stopped was because I really needed to gasp for air.

“Wow!”

“I’m sorry,” I said.

“Don’t be. That was… wow!”

I smiled weakly and then remembered it.

“Yes! Yes, Christopher, I want to be your boyfriend,”

He smiled and instantly we rolled over and I immediately felt all his weight over me.

This time the kiss was soft. I pulled him toward me. It felt good to be so close together.

He rolled over and lay next to me. We were both looking at the sky, our hands intertwined and our breathings in unison.

“I love you, Josiah,”

“I love you, Christopher,”

I don’t really know exactly if I fell asleep after that. The last thing I remember was him holding me tightly and humming to my ear.

When I woke up, I noticed it was still dark. I felt alone, no arms around me, and that’s when I realized I was indeed alone.

I was about to panic when I heard him.

“It’s ok! It wasn’t a dream,” he said walking toward me.

And that’s exactly what I had thought.

“Hey,”

“Hey!” he said reaching for me and hugging me. “You ok?”

“Couldn’t be any better,” I replied. “What time is it?”

“Five something,”

“Crap! We got school in like, two hours!”

“We don’t have to go,”

“What do you mean?”

“We could stay here. Just us. Enjoying this a little longer,”

As much as I hated the idea of missing school, his offering was too much to pass off.

“I still don’t get something,” I said as I sat down and he sat next to me.

“Go ahead,”

“The guitar and the bag and the notebook. When you went to get me, you didn’t have them with you,”

“They were already here,” he said smiling. “I brought them before going to get you,”

“How did you know I was going to come?”

“I didn’t,” he said and then reached for me and hugged me.

I then realized he was the hugging type.

I moved over and rested my head on his knees. He leaned over and gave me a small kiss.

“Do you hear it?”

“Hear what?”

“Exactly,” he said smiling.

And instantly I realized what he meant.

There was nothing to be heard. It was just the two of us.

This was our place. We could do anything, everything. Whenever we felt the need to be with each other, we could always come here. This place, it was the start of something, of our thing.

I looked at Christopher and he seemed thoughtful.

“A penny for your thoughts,” I teased.

“Just a penny?” he said lowering his gazed to meet mine. “There are so many thoughts in my head right now.
I’m thinking about how much my life has changed, will change.
I’m thinking about the difficulties I’ll have to go through. It makes me anxious.
I’m thinking about all the time I’ve wasted, the one I shall never recover.
But most importantly, I’m thinking about us, about this moment. It feels right. And I wouldn’t trade it for anything or anyone. Because, at this point in my life; at this exact point, there’s no one I’d rather be with than with you, Josiah,”

His words made me feel so good. He was so perfect.

“What did I ever do to deserve you?” I said.

He laughed and shot another glance toward the sky, which was looking less dark now.

“You are a wonderful person, Josiah. And I just love you,”

“I just love you too,” I said.

I closed my eyes and smiled at the wind.

I had dreamed about this moment so many times; the moment in which I would finally be with him. And the feelings would be mutual.
I would’ve never imagined it as possible.
My life was finally complete. No fairy tale ever written could compare to my happy ending. I knew there were some bumps ahead, and that it would take two to deal with them. But we would.
I felt his arms pull me unto his chest, so I gave in.
I was finally happy.
So I let my mind wander off, and picture all the little moments and all the big moments that were yet to come.
Soon, I was daydreaming so far away the sky was no longer a limit.