A Journal of Anthro and Revelations - 2. Batch 44

Log Monday 9/13/19 8:45p

Yep. The classes feel like high school. Even after a few weeks, I still don’t see a difference. If I didn’t know better, I’d think the other freshman were still in high school. They’re focused on popularity and finding the ranks. The professors, on the other hand, let you come and go as you please. They don’t breathe down your throat like teachers did in high school. There’s a sense of self-control as the student. It’s fucking cool! Still, the material is too easy. Hopefully, things get more interesting in a year or two. Maybe even more challenging.

From what he's been saying, Gav's business professor is awesome. She starts every class with a group discussion of what's in the news. It can be anything. Sports, business, video games, politics, Kardashians… The lesson is impactful. If you don’t pay attention to what’s happening in the world, your business can get smacked into bankruptcy. I might take up a minor in business just to take some courses.

LaDon came and chilled with us. He’s the guy that says he stays out of the gossip house and yet he spilled there’s a nickname going around for Gav and I. Gaver. Cute. Shipped because we go everywhere together. He even knew about our TB date nights. Gav thinks it’s hilarious.

Which leads me to a hypothesis. I'm about 93% certain Gav figured out I'm gay. Not sure if I've been slacking with my sneak peeks or what but I might need to rein it in a bit. I don't need campus gossip about me. I've already heard a few whispered slurs, so I can't be rainbow-flagging it up around here.

Is Gav the kind of guy that spread rumors? I wouldn't bet money on it. Some of the guys that hang out in our room? I might make a few bucks gambling. The rest of his team? My winnings might cover the hospital bill. I’m not an idiot. I pay attention. Matt stopped coming to the room to play games when I’m here, but he’ll hang with Gav in the rec lounge downstairs. When Gav and the squad pass me in the admin building, Matt’s the only one that doesn’t acknowledge me. Not even a whisper, head nod, or glance. Got to watch out for him. Everyone else is under my radar. Rashaad and LaDon tried giving me one of those fancy handshake-fistbump-twiddle shakes. They settled on a three-clap with a finger-point, mostly to keep it simple for my sake. Thank God. I lose track of the shakes Gav gets. For now, I’m still playing with cards to my chest.

***

Log Tuesday 9/14/19 9:15p

Got paid today! Opened up a few slots, and Trae was quick to order another commission, this time for Lago, his gator OC. Love that guy to pieces. I only have Bennie’s Christmas bear piece left to do, but that’s going to take a hot minute. He wants my best shading. My poor Wacom pad is getting a workout with this snowball fight. But hey, this one drawing is worth four or five sketches. I should be done with it in a few weeks.

Kristin in the intro studio class gave me a heart attack today. She rolled her stool over and showed me her phone. Yep. She found my Twitter. My NSFW one. I know she won’t say a thing. She’s the one other art major I connect with. Her ink-washing and stippling are sick, but she draws mostly naked ladies. I can’t complain; I draw werewolves with jockstraps and leather harnesses. I never anticipated someone finding out what kind of art I drew. My intentions were to keep it on the down-low; only draw after Gav went to bed or if I was in the graphics lab by myself. She swore she wouldn’t tell anyone, so I hope she’ll be a secret keeper.

In other news, I discovered the golden jewel of Caf breakfast. Miss Jennifer… Oh, I would turn straight just for her omelets. The assortment, the cheese, all perfectly cooked and folded beautifully. Not even Gav knew about her station. He’s super salty about the fact he can only have them on the weekends. Poor thing.

Fraternity rush week starts tomorrow. There’s only four frats on campus, and they only have ten to fifteen members each. I’m still not interested, but I could still go and get free pizza out of it and not continue the week. Nah, there’s only one of them I’d consider. They’re kind of a rag-tag group of misfits, if I’m being honest. From what LaDon said, they host a massive Smash Bros. tourney around October. Gav and I are definitely competing. The reason I bring them up again is their presence on campus just magnified. Recruitment tables in the rotunda lobby, constant invitations to hang out in their chapter rooms… Another interesting concept with this rinky-dink college. No frat houses. They occupy a whole dorm, split with the sororities. Weird. It’s like the college wants them to start fucking. Anyway, it’s getting annoying. I swear, some of these dudes are just… Ick! Upside-down visor caps, Columbia t-shirts with short-shorts. Do girls really like that shit? Whatever.

***

Log Thursday 9/16/19 9:02p

Missed yesterday’s entry, but I’m swamped. The material is easy, but the work is neverending. It’s a constant stream and there’s no beavers to build a dam. I’ve never been one to procrastinate, so when my geography teacher dropped his bombshell today… Fuck!

His final exam is available to do. Like, right now. It’s insane in two ways: insanely easy and insanely tedious. All of us need to go to the local Office Depot and get these files of the continents blown up on massive sheets of paper, then we label and color everything. You name it, it goes on the map. Rivers, lakes, mountains, capitals, the highest five populated cities, key geographical landmarks (think Grand Canyon), and… Did I mention “everything?” Yeah, everything. This is going to be bonkers! A few of the students are talking about doing a finals group but not until a month before the course ends. Looks like I better commandeer one of the library study rooms while I can. I’ll head to Office Depot tomorrow, get the papers printed, and buy some colored pencils. The sooner I knock this out, the better.

Oh! Wait, forgot. Big news. Gav made an “appointment.” I’ll need to make myself scarce tomorrow night until ten-ish. Fine by me. At least we have a system with this now. It was nice to get it out in the open. What got to me was he assumed I was straight. There goes my theory that he knew. Probably for the best. He said the same, regarding his sexuality. Good. I couldn’t figure out how to tie a string around the top of the window blinds. No need to buy a curtain from Amazon…

It kind of disappoints me he's straight. Now I know I could never get my hands on that Red Bull can of his. I mean, I’m not sure if it would’ve ever worked. He’s a really nice guy, but he almost has no free time. If he does, he has to stay up late and sacrifice sleep. I don’t even know why I had high hopes to begin with. Football players are never gay. Like, ever. They probably experiment, but they’ll always be swimming in titties. He makes me feel warm. I wouldn’t call it love, but I’m definitely infatuated with him.

Today kind of sucks. First bad day at college, I guess.

***

Log Friday 9/17/19 7:41p

Just had dinner at the Caf. Gav was texting the entire time. Probably with the chick who’s about to have her back blown out. Lucky.

Found a nice corner in the library to hole up in, and I brought everything I need to keep myself occupied for the next several hours. No major assignments for the weekend, other than the geo final. I accidentally left the papers under my bed. No going back now, so I’ll probably work on that Saturday and Sunday. For now, Bennie’s bear is my main objective. I can get some of the shading done on the background. Everything is colored, but the detail is going to murder my fingers.

I’ll report back later.

***

10:31p

Gav sent the all-clear half an hour ago, and I just got back in the room. Smells like Febreeze. At least he’s courteous. He’s got that killer smile right now, playing Call of Duty. I’m happy for him, I really am. He said she was alright, but there won’t be a call-back. She complained he was “too big.” The temptation to ask for a try is killing me. Still, got to keep my guard up. One wrong move and I might get my shit kicked in.

Bedtime. Sleepy. I’ll talk about Bennie tomorrow.

***

Log Saturday 9/18/19 8:21p

Got North America done. Apparently, that’s the hardest continent to do for this final. Considering I had to do all fifty states and their nonsense, I agree. Second-hardest is going to be Asia. I’ll tackle that one tomorrow. This project might take longer than anticipated. I’ll let some of the class know to get working on it after I finish mine. Can’t have everyone hogging up the library rooms.

Bennie might be getting an early Christmas present. The whole background is shaded. Now comes the hard part. I have to stencil in the fur lines for the three bears, figure out what clothing to put on them (if any. I know how Ben Ben is…), and add the final details. That’s going to be another thirty hours of work, at least. On second thought, I’ll knock that out this weekend. The final isn’t due until December. I can procrastinate a little. Besides, the quicker I get Bennie his piece, the sooner I’ll get the other half of the payment. Then I can open more slots. These TB runs don’t pay for themselves, and I don’t have time for another part-time job.

Dad tried calling again. He left a voicemail, wanting twenty bucks. Nope. I can’t with it anymore. That twenty will go to one of three things: lottery tickets, smokes, or a fifth. I’m surprised it took either of them this long to pester me. They must really not miss me. But by all means, they loved my commission cash. Took them a while after they found out how I earned it. I still feel Mom’s leers. She’s probably jealous I can draw something bigger than Dad. Oh, well. They’re not my problem anymore. Let’s see how long they can last without their “happy accident.” I should talk to someone about that. The college offers five therapy sessions with a local professional. I might book an appointment.

Gav said the first home game is next Friday. He kind of hinted he’d like me to go. Not sure why, but it’s free for students. Worst case scenario, it gets me some “I watch sports” brownie points. It gives me a chance to study the sport, I guess.

I’m also thinking about cutting my entries to two or three times a week. My schedule is becoming monotonous. Wake up, breakfast, class, lunch, class, din-din, study/homework, sleep. Everything’s speeding up, aside from drawing. I’m doing a lot more than I used to, mostly due to assignments. Commission requests are steadily coming in, but I can’t bear to open more slots than what I’m already used to handling. College is definitely more intense than high school.

***

Log Thursday 9/23/19 8:53p

Geo final is done. It's finally done. I decided to drop everything and completely focus on the maps. The meaning of the assignment is really something. It's tedious and might not seem important, but the goal is to have a vague memory of where something is in the world. I never thought a class like this would leave a memorable lesson. Thanks, Dr. Conroy. You may be a crotchety old fart, but you're cool in my books. Love his sense of dry humor.

Thank God for Kristin. She’s going with me to the game tomorrow. I like her perspective. Lots of big men in tights falling over each other should’ve been on my radar. I missed out on so many games over the years. After watching a few clips on Instagram, call me a football fan. Plenty of teddy bears on the field at all times. They even hunch over, showing off their asses. Yum. Some of the game intricacies are interesting, but I find a few rules ridiculous. Excessive celebration? A team can struggle to cross fifty to a hundred yards to score, and they can’t be happy about it? Sounds ridiculous. Let them shake their moobs a bit, for crying out loud. The game is more complicated than I gave it credit for. To toss or run the ball, kick for one point or run for three… There’s a lot of strategy! I almost compare it to chess. If chess was played by beefcakes.

So… I played a really risky card with Gavin. It just came out, and I’m glad he took it as a joke. He asked if I was coming to the game again, and I said, “Are you going to make me wear a jersey with your number on it?” He almost fell out of the chair laughing, but he’s been giving me a side-eye ever since. Just a hint of a smile, so I don’t think he’s plotting my murder. I did help him with some math. Pythagorean theorems will always mess someone up. At least he understands them now. The professor for that course is an ass. He has a thing against sports players, and while I totally get it, it’s unprofessional on a scholarly level. I didn’t realize it until I met Gavin, but you have to respect what athletes go through. Most of their time is eaten up. Gav has to do most of his work immediately unless he plans to stay up late. I mean, I do the same with my commissions. At least I can relate.

***

Log Friday 9/24/19 9:21p

Okay. Call me a sports fan. Football rocks! Big meaty men slapping their big meaty meat! I can see why these guys want to do this for a living. Halfway into the game, I was analyzing plays. Certain formations clue for a throw and all that jazz. I’m here for it.

Gav was a monster! Every hike reached the quarterback, then he held off one or two guys each time. Jesus, that man’s ass jiggles. Also, many thanks to the athletic department. White tights. Yes, please! I swear I saw his jockstrap when the sun went down and the lights came on. Kristin caught me ogling. I’m glad I can be myself around her. She has the hots for LaDon, but so does every lady on this campus. Probably half the moms in the stands, too.

In the end, we won. I immediately texted Gav, congratulating and letting him know TB’s on me tonight. We’re about to head there. He looks fucking exhausted. Hopefully, he doesn’t clear out my bank account.

***

10:57p

Next time I get commission cash, I’ll need to set $50 aside for when the team wins next. Gav put away so much food! Believe me, I got the receipt. Three quesadillas, six cheese roll-ups, and two beefy five-layers. Don’t forget the two Baja Blast freezes. Jesus! God bless the girl who had to refill the hot sauce packets.

Gav passed out after we got to the room. Poor guy didn’t even take off his shirt or unfurl his comforter. I dragged my extra fleece from my closet and laid it on him. Not even two seconds later, he grabbed a corner and rolled himself into a cocoon. A beefy burrito. Ha! Can’t say I blame him. I’m getting pretty tired myself. I can’t believe I got used to going to bed around ten or eleven. I used to stay up until three in the morning back in high school, working in the dark on my pieces. Oh, God. I’m becoming an adult. Help.

***

Log Saturday 9/25/19 3:42p

Saturdays are awesome. Good day to get art done, chill, and even do things I’m not used to doing. Some of the sorority ladies were playing beach volleyball (yeah, cool idea having a sand pit on campus). Gav and I were on our way to the Caf when they invited us over. Officially my new favorite thing to do on campus: watching Gav jump. I love gravity.

Those girls were all over him, too! I saw those subtle bumps they gave him. The goofy, “Oops, sorry! Didn’t see you there,” lines were a bit much. I don’t think he minded. He kind of kept to himself. Still acted like a team player, though. We were ousted when the douchey fraternity muscled in, but Gav and I were starving by that point, anyway. Fuck ‘em. We had our fun.

I did find two trees outside our dorm that were perfect for my hammock. Brought it with me on a whim, hoping I could use it. Gives me an excuse to dust off my copies of “Saving Caeorleia” series. Miss Nordwell, you know how to write a book. Tied the strings and sat for an hour until random students came to talk to me. Like, you’d think if someone was reading a book in a hammock, they wouldn’t want to be bothered. Right? After the fourth person left, I rolled it up and went inside. Gav challenged me to Smash Bros. Who can turn that down? Again, got my ass handed to me, but I’m getting better! I had him on final stock at 86%. One more hit and I would’ve won. Oh, well.

***

Log Sunday 9/26/19 5:33p

Done! It's fucking done! Just sent the file to Bennie. Holy hell, Jesus, Mother Mary, Joseph, and the three weirdos. I'm spent. My fingers hurt. My wrist hurts.

But it's perfect. Three cute bears having a snowball fight. Bennie’s in front, hiding behind a mound wearing a black crop top, an aquamarine jockstrap, and a silver sock cap. He just got hit in the head with a snowball thrown by a pudgy sun bear in pink short-shorts. Meanwhile, a panda has leaped from under cover, white loincloth flowing in the wind. He's holding a lime-green and yellow snowball launcher, aiming right at Bennie. Every bear has a perfectly rounded bulge with fluffy bellies. Sunsetting background with covered pine trees. Speckled snow falling lightly, as to focus the detail on the three bears. I even made sure the snow on the ground was disheveled and crunched from their antics. All of them are either smiling or have their tongue out, trying to take aim.

If Gav wasn't living with me, I'd print this out and stick it in a 36x24 poster frame. It really makes me happy. As of now, it’s my masterpiece. I think I’ll take off from drawing for a few days before I open a few slots. I’m just so proud of myself! And Bennie just sent me the other half of the payment. Might go on a small shopping spree next weekend. I’ll see if Kristin is off work from Starbucks and if Gav wants anything for the room. Definitely need to get a rug. I’m sick of this linoleum.

Got a bit of homework to do, so I’ll go knock that out, head to the Caf, and find something to do afterward.

***

Log Tuesday 9/28/19 8:34p

Got a shopping list for Saturday. Shampoo and shit, rug for the room, and a small vacuum cleaner. Kristin’s off and is demanding to go to the Old Navy on the east side of town. I told Gav, and he fed me the line from Eddie Murphy’s Meet Dave, “Welcome to Old Navy.” That’s funny. If we plan on stopping at Gamestop, he’ll tag along. Tough nubs, Kristin. We’re going. If that’s the case, one of them needs to drive. My little pick’em-up truck’s a two-seater, unless Kristin wants to be squooshed in the middle. I might make her drive so I can ride bitch. Nah, I’ve seen her round street corners. We’d flip.

Man, I can only imagine what we’re going to look like in public. Kristin and I are tiny. I’ll text her later to come up with some fun things to say. “Daddy Gav, can we go to the toy aisle?” “Poppa Gavvy, can I get a Kit Kat bar?” I’m dyin’! Just thinking of us running around him being annoying is hilarious.

Dr. Conroy called me out in the middle of class today. I’m the only one that has finished the final, and said it was the smartest thing anyone could do right now. Handed me a graded analysis paper. Big, fat red 94. Fuck yeah! He said he would hold on to them until the last day of class. I agree. Don’t need anyone asking to copy my work. I like this guy.

I helped Gav with his math homework again. If this professor keeps being an asshat, I’m going to say something to the dean. All students are equal, regardless if they’re an athlete or not. From what Gav said, he and Matt were called on for every question, when it was clear as day they were stumped. I told him they needed to talk to their coach. It’ll probably be more effective if he says something versus me. Anyway, matrices are easy, and Gav understood their value once I explained they’re just numerical graphs without the lines, arrows, and points. Think of an Excel spreadsheet. Once he got that, he flew through his sheet. He asked if I could be his tutor. Who can say no to a teddy bear?

I’m going to stay up and doodle some dudes. Nothing commission-wise. Just trying some new styles and textures. Might be up for a while.

***

I’m panicking. I fell asleep with my laptop out. Fuck. 9/29/19 3:14a.

My laptop was on the end of the bed. Now it’s on the desk. Did Gav move it? Was my screensaver on? Did my laptop go to sleep? Fuck…