Window Stories - 14. Chapter 14

Saturday was one of the most boring days I have spent since coming to St. Joseph’s. For almost a year I had remained as a recluse inside my room. Except for therapy sessions, I rarely interacted with other residents. There is a main dining hall where most residents eat their meals. However, I insisted that my meals be brought to my room. Since I had complications getting around until recently, I was permitted to eat alone.

But my life has changed so much over the past couple of weeks. It began when Colin started to visit. We instantly bonded. He was the grandson I never had. Jason also took a greater interest in me. For months, I felt that I was just a regular patient. However, after he told me about his past, we seemed to bond much like I did with Colin. I now feel I have two grandsons. I still can’t believe that they are becoming involved. They are a perfect match, and I’m glad I had something to do with bringing them together. I no longer feel alone.

I spent most of Saturday thinking about my conversations with Colin. Over the past week, I had related my entire life story to him. Many people had shown up at my window as I told their story. Much of it is tragic. Thinking back now, I wonder how I survived it all. Too many of our conversations were filled with stress. I realize that I focused on the worst parts. My life had also been filled with much joy.

Dwight and I spent many happy years together before he became sick. We became rather rich. Between his business and my income as a teacher and counselor, we did very well. He had a house custom-built for us in a suburban area that was developed in the mid-eighties. It was a two-story house with four bedrooms and three baths. Our bedroom was massive with an elegant ensuite bathroom. We also had a furnished downstairs complete with a mother-in-law suite. My mother never visited, but his mother was a frequent guest until she died. Dwight hired professional landscapers to design the outside. He also had a large pool and deck installed. Our home was once featured in a home and garden magazine.

I always felt it was too large for two people, but Dwight enjoyed entertaining. It wasn’t uncommon for us to have ten or fifteen guests for a pool party on Saturday night. We had a large variety of friends. Through his work as an architect, he knew many people. I would often invite coworkers to our home for dinner or for drinks by the pool. One year, Dwight threw a large Christmas party, and he invited seventy-five of our friends and neighbors. He hired a Santa who came to the door at midnight and presented gifts to everyone. People talked about the party years later.

I still miss those days. Life was happy and carefree. We were respected and loved by so many people. Then, one day it all ended. Many people stopped visiting because they were afraid of AIDS. One person told one of our friends that they were afraid to eat using the silverware at our home because they thought they would get sick. Others simply didn’t know how to react. So, Dwight and I spent many lonely nights together watching television at home. People occasionally visited, but we never again hosted large dinners and pool parties.

Like I did in the final years of my marriage to Eloise, I immersed myself with my work. I became a school counselor. It was easier for me to deal with individual students than try to teach a classroom of thirty students five times a day. I also didn’t have to spend my nights and weekends grading papers and writing lesson plans. I enjoyed being a counselor. As a teacher, you never really know how successful you are. A student getting an A on a test doesn’t mean they mastered the subject. However, by helping a student deal with a crisis in their life, you can see an immediate result. The greatest reward was seeing them as an adult years later in a store, and they approach and tell me how much an impact I had on their life. It fills my heart with pride and joy.

I feel that if I ever get the ability to walk again, I would like to volunteer my services as a counselor like Colin. I don’t think I would enjoy dealing with elderly people my age. I don’t have the patience to deal with their attitudes. It is one of the reasons I don’t like to eat in the main dining room or play games in the commons area. It is somewhat ironic because I have the reputation of being one of the most contrary patients in the center. I guess I don’t want to deal with someone like me.

I may volunteer with an organization that deals with young LGBT people. So many of them need help dealing with issues in their lives. I keep reading about the high suicide rate among them. I know that my life experiences can provide advice to those facing problems. I’ve faced most of them.

However, there is one issue that I have never been able to face. Talking to Colin has made me aware of it, and I don’t know how I reverse past mistakes. I’m beginning to feel guilty about my relationship with my son, Roger. For years I have blamed him as a heartless son. I felt he refused to accept me as his father. I detested him for keeping me from seeing my grandchildren. He has a son and two daughters I have never seen. In my last conversation with Eloise, she was excited because Allen, Rogers’ son, had just had a son. I am a great grandfather! I may even have more. I don’t know. The only time I’ve seen Roger since he was a boy was when he signed the papers to commit me to this facility. I was recovering from my stroke, and I just sat quietly and was unable to say much as he talked to Mr. Maxwell. He had grown old. I would not have recognized him if I passed him on the street. He barely looked over at me. Of course, I had my eyes closed most of the time. When he left, he said, “Goodbye, Pops,” and that was it. When he was little, he always called me Pops, never Dad. I thought it was cute. That day, it cut through my heart like a knife.

I realize that I will probably never be able to have a father-son relationship with Roger. I burned that bridge years ago. However, I would love to meet my grandchildren and great grandchildren. But I’m an old man now. I’ve got more years behind me than ahead of me. I guess I will go to my grave never meeting the legacy I have left behind.

I’m depressed now. I’m going to spend the rest of the day sleeping. Before closing my eyes, I look out the window and see a strange boy who appears to be about thirteen looking inside. I’m startled because he looks much like me at that age.

I was awakened early Monday morning when Susan turned on the overhead light. She walked into the bathroom and looked around. She then returned and stood beside my bed. “Good morning, Phil,” she said without a smile.

“Good morning,” I replied. “Where have you been? I hardly saw you last week.”

Tears welled up in her eyes as she replied, “I’d rather not talk about it.”

“Is it Stanley?”

She reached for a tissue on the nightstand and began crying. “I’m sorry, Phil,” she apologized. “This is so unprofessional of me.”

I gripped her hand tightly and assured her, “It’s really alright. Tell me what’s wrong?”

“It’s Randy,” she said.

“Your husband?”

“Yes,’ she replied. “Stanley and I have been getting along well. Your friend, Colin, has set up some counseling sessions. Everything was going along fine.”

“Then, what’s happened?”

Susan began to cry again. “We met with our attorneys Friday to discuss our divorce.” I nodded my head and squeezed her hand tighter. “Randy insists that he wants his half of the house.” She wiped tears from her eyes. “I have to pay him for his half of the house, or he’s going to find a realtor and sell it.” She broke down and cried. “I don’t have that kind of money.” She looked at me sadly and said, “I don’t know what to do. Where will Stanley and I live until the house sells?”

I asked, “Don’t you have any family you can stay with?”

“No,” she replied sadly. “My parents are dead, and I have one sister. She lives in Delaware. I can’t move there and give up my job.” Susan continued to cry.

“Let me talk to Colin,” I said. “I may be able to help you.”

“Oh, no, Phil,” she insisted. “I won’t take money from you. That wouldn’t be right.”

I smiled and replied, “I’m not offering money. Give me a day or two, and I may have a solution.”

She leaned down and kissed my cheek. “You’re the sweetest man I’ve ever met.” She pulled away and started to leave the room.

“Hey!” I shouted. She turned with a worried look. “You forgot my breakfast order.”

She smiled and replied, “You’ve ordered the same thing for almost a year.” She turned and hurried from the room.

I wanted to check with Colin and have him contact my attorney. I wasn’t sure how much red tape might be involved. I wanted to offer my home to Susan and Stanley to stay in until she could solve her problem with her husband. I had friends who went through divorces, and they can be quite messy. Many are bitter battles with revenge as a motive. Susan’s husband, Randy, sounds like he will stop at nothing to get whatever he can out of a divorce. Susan had him arrested and then filed for divorce. She could be facing a long process. At least I can provide a safe place for them to stay.

However, I was worried because I wasn’t sure what had happened to my house. I needed to talk to my attorney. After my stroke, I was asked by my son, Roger, to sign several papers in Mr. Sullivan’s office. At the time, I didn’t know what I was signing. Mr. Sullivan assured me that everything was okay. But what if I had signed my home over to Roger? My accountant informed me that he was writing checks to a home maintenance firm to care for the outside of the home. They regularly mowed the lawn and trimmed the bushes. The pool had been drained, and a cover was put over it for safety reasons. I needed to know if it was move-in ready for Susan and Stanley. And most importantly, do I still own the house? If not, I may have to sue Roger to reclaim my property rights.

Jason didn’t come to work again. Anita, one of the other physical therapists, came to my room at nine. When she pulled the wheelchair beside the bed, I asked if I could try to walk to the PT room. She didn’t respond at first. She just stared at me. Finally, she told me to wait while she hurried from the room. She returned a few minutes later with a walker.

“You can’t walk without assistance,” she instructed me. “I read the file that Jason has on you. He feels that you can walk short distances, but you have to have help.” She strapped a belt around my waist. “I want you to walk with this walker until you feel you’re losing your strength. When you do, I’ll come back and get the wheelchair. Fair enough?”

“Yes,” I replied as I gripped the walker. I had never felt so determined to do something in my life. If I was going to gain any sort of independence, then I needed to be able to walk. I took a deep breath and headed for the door with Anita tightly holding the strap around my waist.

With each step, I could feel the strength returning to my legs. I had been working with Jason for months on strengthening exercises. When I did them, I grumbled and complained. Now, I realized that Jason knew what he was doing. I may never be able to walk unassisted without a walker or cane, but at least I could walk again. I had to stop several times to catch my breath. Each time, Anita would tell me that she would go get the wheelchair. Each time, I would wave her off. “I’ll be okay,” I insisted. “I just need to rest a minute.”

It took me ten minutes to reach the PT room. Normally, it was about a minute ride in the wheelchair. I let out a big, “Yes!” when I entered the room. Two women residents began to clap and congratulate me on my success. Of course, I was too weak to do much more. Anita told me to rest on a bench and just do some simple upper body exercises. They were even painful because my arms were weak from gripping the walker so tightly. When my session was over, I told Anita I would like to try and walk back to the room, but she insisted that I had done enough for one day. I didn’t want to admit it, but the brief ride in the wheelchair back to my room was welcomed.

I began to worry about Colin when he hadn’t arrived by eleven. Usually, he comes before ten o’clock. I was afraid that something might have happened the day before. He said that his mother often comes for lunch. She would be meeting Jason for the first time. We had discussed that it would be a coming out event for him. Perhaps things hadn’t turned out very well. That could explain Jason’s absence from work.

I thought about calling him when he hadn’t arrived after I had eaten lunch. Susan brought it to me, but she seemed depressed and didn’t say much. I think she was afraid she would break down and start crying if she did.

Finally, Colin came rushing into the room a little past one. “Sorry I’m late, Phil,” he apologized. “It’s been a hectic morning.”

I asked worriedly, “Is everything okay?”

He sat down in a chair and smiled. “Actually, things couldn’t be better.”

I gave him a puzzled look and asked, “Does that mean…”

He laughed and interrupted me. “Yeah. I’m officially out.”

I suggested, “Let’s go outside and talk.” I stood on the side of the bed and pointed toward the walker in the corner. “Can you get that for me?”

Colin gave me a worried looked and asked, “Are you permitted to use it?”

I grumbled, “I don’t give a rat’s ass what I’m permitted to do. I’m seventy-eight years old, and I pay my way here. I can do whatever I want.” He hesitated before setting the walker in front of me.

“Relax,” I laughed. “I’ll be okay. I walked all the way to the therapy room this morning.”

“Good for you,” he responded as he moved behind me and put his hands on my waist. It took twice as long to get to the bench we sat on, and I was out of breath when we arrived. Colin kept worriedly asking me if I was okay.

“I’ll be okay,” I assured him. “Can you go get me a glass of water?” He rushed off and returned a minute later with a glass. He sat down beside me as I quickly drank the water. When I finished, I smiled and said, “Now, tell me what happened.”

He smiled and said, “I guess I’m out to my parents.”

“Good for you,” I replied. “Tell me about it.”

“Remember you told me that when my mother comes for lunch to have Jason join us?” I nodded my head. “Your plan worked.”

Colin spent the next few minutes relating how it went. He said he was nervous when his mother arrived. He didn’t know how to introduce her to Jason. “I wasn’t sure what to do,” he confessed. “I just told her he was a friend.”

He said that when they sat down and began eating, she kept asking Jason questions. “I don’t think the Spanish Inquisition was as bad,” he laughed. “I learned things about him that he hadn’t told me.” Colin gave me a puzzled look and asked, “Did you know he left home at thirteen?”

“Yeah,” I admitted. “He told me.”

“Anyway,” he continued. “I was so glad when we finished eating. Mom went into the living room, and Jason and I cleaned the table and did the dishes.” He laughed and said, “You won’t believe what happened next.”

“What?”

“Jason and I were finishing up, and I reached over and patted his butt,” he said as his face turned red.”

I laughed and asked, “Let me guess. Your mother walked into the kitchen?”

“Yeah,” he smiled. “I had a handful of Jason’s ass when she came up behind us.”

“What did she say?”

“She told us we should get a room,” he laughed. “I wanted to die.”

“How did Jason react?”

“You won’t believe what he told her.”

“What?”

“He told her we already have a room!”

“How did your mother react?” I asked.

Tears welled up in Colin’s eyes as he replied, “She pulled us into a hug and told us how happy she was.”

I asked, “Didn’t I tell you she already knew? It doesn’t surprise me she reacted that way.”

“We went into the living room and talked for about an hour,” he continued. “She said the important thing is that we are happy.” He smiled and added, “She even threatened Jason with bodily harm if he ever does anything to hurt me. By the time it was ready for her to leave, I think she was making plans for our wedding.”

I smiled and replied, “That’s wonderful.”

“Of course,” he said. “You’ll be our best man.” I had to fight back tears.

I asked, “So, where do things go from here?”

He told me, “Jason’s going to move in with me.”

“When?”

His face reddened as he said, “Today.”

I laughed and asked, “Is that why he didn’t come to work?”

“Yeah,” he smiled. “He wanted to stay home and bring some of his things over to my apartment. He still has a couple of months on the lease at his place, but we decided we didn’t want to wait two months.”

“You two don’t waste any time, do you?”

“Phil,” he confessed, “I’ve never been happier. It’s like I’ve waited twenty-four years for Jason to come along.”

“You two are going to make a wonderful couple,” I said as tears filled my eyes. “You are both so lucky to have found each other so young.”

“I know,” he replied tearfully.

We spent the next half hour discussing their arrangement. Colin was curious how Dwight and I made our relationship work. “Give each other space,” I told him. “When a relationship is new like yours, you’re going to want to fuck like bunnies.” Colin’s face could have turned any redder. “When a problem arises, talk it out,” I said. “Dwight and I had one policy we stuck to.”

“What?”

“We never went to bed mad,” I said. “If something was bothering one of us, we solved it before we went to bed.” I smiled and added, “Then we fucked like bunnies.” Colin leaned back on the bench and roared with laughter.

“I forgot to ask,” I said. “How did your father take it? Does he know?”

Colin replied, “I think he does. He called me this morning before I left. He is going to pick me and Jason up Saturday morning. We’re going to have lunch at the clubhouse, and then play a round of golf.”

“Clubhouse and golf,” I laughed. “You’re going to turn Jason into a bougie boy.”

“I can’t wait to see him tomorrow,” I said. “I’m going to call him BBB.”

Colin gave me a puzzled look and asked, “BBB?”

“Black bougie boy,” I laughed.

“You’re awful,” smiled Colin. “But I like it.” He stood and reached for the walker.

I gripped his arm and stopped him. “Before we go in, can I ask you to do something for me?”

He gave me a puzzled look and answered,” Sure, Phil. Anything.”

I told him to take out his notepad and write down a name. He nodded and pulled out the pad and a pen. “I want you to contact my attorney, Michael Abrams.”

“Michael Abrams?” he asked excitedly. “Mike is your attorney?”

“Do you know him?”

“I’ve known Mike since I was a little boy,” he explained. “He’s my father’s attorney.”

“His father was one of Dwight’s best friends,” I informed him. “He handled all legal matters for Dwight. Stephen and his wife were frequent dinner guests at our house. When Stephen died, things were turned over to Michael.”

Colin nodded his head. “I’ve never asked,” I said, “But what does your father do?”

Colin’s face reddened as he replied, “He’s the president of CDS Biotechnology Company.”

“Damn!” I hissed. “I wasn’t wrong calling you a bougie boy.”

Colin’s face reddened as he asked, “What did you want me to ask Mike?”

“Before Dwight died, we drew up a will. Our investments were quite large,” Colin nodded his head. “Our money was assigned to an investment firm to handle. Before my stroke, I kept track of it.”

“How can I help?”

“I need to know if anything has happened to them,” I replied. “When I came here, I signed a lot of papers, and I’m not sure what I signed since I was recovering from my stroke. I want you to contact Michael for me and find out if I signed anything away. Specifically, my home.”

I told him about my conversation with Susan, and how I wanted her and her son to move in temporarily. “I might even want to return home myself someday. I need to know if Roger took control of things.”

“That could get messy,” he said worriedly. “Have you talked to Mr. Maxwell?”

“I doubt he would know,” I replied. “If I remember right, all he was concerned about was Roger signing the paperwork for me to come here. He wouldn’t have been involved in my financial affairs.”

“I’ll get on it,” he said as he gripped my arm and helped with the walker. “I’ll call Mike tonight.”

I laughed and said, “You sure you’ll have time tonight?”

“Why wouldn’t I have time?”

I held up my hands eight inches apart. He smacked me on my shoulder and said, “Shut up, Phil!” I laughed as we slowly walked into the building.

As he was helping me into my bed, I grabbed his arm and squeezed it. “Ouch!” he screamed. “Why did you do that?”

I tried to act angry as I asked, “Did you sneak Gary’s number from my table and call him?”

Colin’s face reddened. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he responded innocently.

I asked again. “Well, did you?”

He turned and hurried to the door. Before leaving, he stuck out his tongue and said, “Maybe I did. You found me a boyfriend. Now, I have to find you one.” I laughed as he closed the door.

Thank you for reading. Comments, emojis and a recommendation are always appreciated. -Ronyx