Silent Heartbeats - 7. Chapter 7: A storm is raging in Jeremy's soul. How will he calm it?

Carter stood frozen as Jeremy's voice boomed through the room, each word dripping with fury. His eyes, wide with fear, locked onto Jeremy, trying to make sense of the sudden shift in the man he thought he knew. He had seen Jeremy angry before, but this was different, this was someone else entirely, a man consumed by grief and rage.

Carter’s mouth trembled as he struggled to find his voice, the words barely escaping his lips.

“I came for a signature because... because I couldn’t reach you…”

The moment the words left his mouth, Jeremy's eyes flared with rage. He snapped, his voice cutting through the air like a whip.

“What kind of mindset do you have? Are you a child?” He stepped closer, his presence overwhelming. “If you couldn’t reach me, that meant I didn’t want to be disturbed! Do I look like someone who wants to work right now?”

Carter shook his head slowly, the fear palpable on his face. “I didn’t know, it’s just that the clients…”

“I don’t care!” Jeremy cut him off, his voice rising to a shout that seemed to echo through the entire house. “Do you even realize what you’ve done by coming here?” His words were laced with venom. “You’ve disrespected not just me but the memorial of my dead husband.”

A lump formed in Carter's throat, and he stood there like a deer caught in headlights, his body rigid with shock. His head moved robotically, his gaze slowly shifting away from Jeremy to the large portrait that loomed behind him. It was of a man, handsome and full of life, with a smile that radiated warmth. The same man who was now only a memory for everyone gathered.

A chill ran down Carter’s spine as the world seemed to stop around him. The image of the man in the portrait—Ethan—struck him deeply, the guilt gnawing at him as he realized the gravity of his intrusion. He hadn’t just interrupted a meeting or a casual gathering; he had barged into a sacred moment of remembrance, a time when a family was honoring the memory of a loved one taken too soon.

The weight of the situation bore down on him, making it hard to breathe. He felt out of place, like an intruder in a space that wasn’t meant for him. His eyes took in the features of Ethan, appreciating the joy and light that seemed to emanate from the man’s image, and with it came the crushing guilt of disturbing such an intimate event.

Jeremy’s voice, now trembling with anger and pain, shattered the silence again. “All I asked for today was to honor the memory of my beloved husband with my family. Just one day to remember him without being disturbed by some outsider.”

Carter's eyes darted around the room, desperately searching for the right words to defuse the situation. The weight of every gaze in the room pressed down on him, amplifying his anxiety. Dexter, standing among the attendees, couldn't suppress the smug smile that curled on his lips. He was enjoying the spectacle unfolding before him.

Carter took a deep breath, summoning all his courage.

“I'm sorry,” he said, his voice shaky but sincere.

Jeremy's response was immediate, his voice laced with venom.

“Sorry isn't going to fix this. You've crossed a line by coming here, and you've ruined everything by your presence!”

Carter's heart raced, and he tried to explain, his words tumbling out in a rush.

“I didn't know, I swear. I just needed the signature. You told me I couldn't do anything without it, and I'm running behind schedule... I couldn't wait any longer, that's why I came.”

He reached into his bag, pulling out the file he had worked so hard on, hoping it would show Jeremy that he was only trying to do his job. But as soon as he extended it, Jeremy snatched the file from his hand and hurled it to the floor. The papers scattered, some landing near the altar, others by the feet of the stunned guests.

Jeremy raised a trembling finger at Carter, his voice a low, dangerous growl.

“Ethan was my life, and I don't mess with him. You've disrespected his memory and this sacred day, and for that, you're going to pay. You think I've been hard on you before? Just wait.”

Before Carter could respond, a voice called out, “Jeremy!”

It was Elena. She quickly crossed the room, placing a calming hand on Jeremy's shoulder, trying to defuse the situation. Carter looked at her, and when their eyes met, he felt a mixture of fear and relief. Her presence was comforting, but the tension in the room was still suffocating.

“You’re angry, Jeremy. You need to calm down,” Elena said softly, her voice a soothing contrast to the tension crackling in the air. “The poor boy didn't know what was happening. Look at him, he's already scared.”

Jeremy's hands were clenched into fists, the muscles in his jaw twitching with barely contained fury. He glared at Carter, his eyes cold and hard.

“Get out of my sight,” he barked, his voice carrying a finality that sent a shiver down Carter's spine.

Carter didn't need to be told twice. He turned on his heel and hurried out of the house, tears welling up in his eyes as he escaped the oppressive atmosphere.

Elena watched Carter leave, then turned back to Jeremy, her expression gentle but firm.

“We need to finish the ritual,” she reminded him, her hand still on his shoulder.

For a moment, Jeremy remained silent, his body still tense, his eyes staring at the spot where Carter had stood. After what felt like an eternity, he exhaled deeply, nodding in reluctant agreement. Together, they returned to the altar, the solemn ritual continuing as the room gradually settled back into an uneasy calm.

***

Carter sat at his desk, the office around him buzzing with activity, but he felt utterly detached. His mind replayed the scene at Jeremy’s house, the harsh words, the accusing stares, and the weight of Jeremy’s anger. He couldn’t shake the feeling of guilt that gnawed at him, nor could he figure out how to proceed with his work.

He stared at the desk phone, his hand hovering over it as he considered calling the clients. He knew he had to explain the delay, but the thought of admitting his failure made his stomach churn. Taking a deep breath, he started to dial, but before he could complete the number, a file dropped onto his desk, startling him.

Carter looked up, his eyes widening in surprise. Jeff stood there, dressed in white, his expression calm yet unreadable. Carter’s first instinct was to apologize. He took a deep breath, his voice barely above a whisper, “I’m sorry… for barging in like that. I didn’t know…”

Jeff raised a hand to stop him. “You wouldn’t have known, Carter. It’s not your fault.” His tone was gentle, and it made Carter feel a bit of the tension ease from his shoulders.

“But still,” Carter continued, feeling the need to explain himself, “I shouldn’t have…”

Jeff shook his head, cutting him off. “It’s done. Let’s move forward.”

Carter nodded, his heart still heavy, but Jeff’s calm demeanor offered him a small comfort amidst the chaos in his mind.

Jeff placed the file on Carter’s desk, his expression remaining calm as Carter thanked him, though he couldn't hide the doubt in his voice. “You really didn’t have to, Jeff. It doesn’t matter anymore… without Jeremy’s signature, I can’t do anything.”

Jeff smiled, a hint of amusement in his eyes. “I know. That’s why I brought it to you.” He gestured toward the file. “Jeremy signed it.”

Carter’s eyes widened in disbelief, his breath catching in his throat. “You’re joking,” he said, almost afraid to believe it.

“Check for yourself,” Jeff replied, stepping back slightly.

Carter’s hands moved quickly, flipping open the file. His heart raced as he scanned the document, and there it was—Jeremy’s signature, clear and unmistakable. He stared at it, his mind racing with confusion. How had Jeremy signed it after the intense confrontation they'd had? The memory of Jeremy's anger was still vivid in his mind, making the signature in front of him feel surreal.

Jeff’s voice broke through Carter’s thoughts.

“I hope you don’t take what Jeremy said to heart. Losing Ethan… it was the most tragic thing that ever happened to him. It’s messed him up in ways we can’t fully understand.” Jeff’s tone softened, a slight smile playing on his lips as he added, “Sometimes we even get scared that he might… take his own life.”

Carter’s face remained blank, processing Jeff’s words. His mind struggled to reconcile the image of the cold, angry man from earlier with the idea of someone so broken. After a moment, he asked quietly,

“How is he doing now?”

Jeff sighed, the seriousness returning to his face.

“I couldn’t tell you. But he did come to the company after the memorial. He’s probably up on the rooftop.”

Carter felt a pang of concern. He glanced at the file again, then back at Jeff, who nodded encouragingly. Without another word, Carter stood up, the file still clutched in his hand, and headed towards the elevator. His heart was pounding with a mix of fear and determination as he made his way to the rooftop, unsure of what he would find—or how he would face Jeremy after everything that had happened.

Meanwhile, Jeremy stood at the edge of the rooftop, the city stretching out beneath him in a sea of lights and distant sounds. His hands were buried deep in his pockets, his face set in a stern, brooding expression as memories from the memorial swirled in his mind. The wind ruffled his hair, offering a fleeting sense of relief from the storm inside him.

Suddenly, a voice cut through the silence, light and almost teasing. “You shouldn’t jump.”

Jeremy slowly turned, his eyes narrowing as he saw Carter standing a few feet away, a soft smile on his face. The sight of that smile, so out of place after the events of the day, stirred something dark and resentful inside Jeremy. He didn’t say a word, just stared.

Carter, seemingly oblivious to the anger simmering in Jeremy’s gaze, stepped closer.

“I was just joking,” he said lightly, though his tone carried a hint of nervousness. “I know you wouldn’t jump… You’re strong.”

Jeremy continued to stare at him, his silence heavy and unnerving.

Carter took another tentative step forward. “I’m really sorry for what happened earlier. I didn’t mean to disturb the memorial… I didn’t know.” His voice was sincere, his eyes pleading for some sign of understanding from the man before him.

But Jeremy’s gaze remained hard, his lips pressed into a thin line.

Carter swallowed, his nerves starting to get the better of him.

“I wanted to thank you for signing the document. You didn’t have to, especially after everything… but you did. It means a lot to me, and to the clients.”

Jeremy’s stern gaze never wavered, his expression unreadable.

Nervously, Carter continued, “Today, I felt like… behind that tough exterior, there’s a tender heart.” Jeremy’s eyes flickered, and for a moment, he looked away, down at the ground.

Encouraged by this small reaction, Carter pressed on.

“I might have misjudged you. Maybe you’re not as callous as I thought.” He paused, then added, “You loved your husband so much… and maybe all that pain has turned into anger and… and rudeness. But I understand. You have to wear a mask to hide the grief.”

Jeremy’s eyes grew glassy, his emotions churning beneath the surface. He quickly turned his back to Carter, refusing to let his vulnerability show.

But Carter wasn’t deterred. He moved closer, trying to catch Jeremy’s gaze again. “Grieving doesn’t make you weak,” he said softly. “It just shows how much you loved him. It’s okay to be vulnerable sometimes.”

Jeremy’s fists clenched at his sides, his jaw tightening as Carter’s words hit too close to home. The emotions he had been suppressing all day were rising to the surface, threatening to overwhelm him. Carter, unaware of the storm brewing inside Jeremy, offered a gentle smile. “You want the world to think you’re a bad guy, but… you’re not that bad.”

Something snapped inside Jeremy. Before Carter could react, Jeremy’s hand shot out, shoving him backward with a force that sent Carter stumbling to the very edge of the building.

Carter’s breath hitched as his feet scraped against the rooftop’s edge, his body teetering precariously over the drop. His arms flailed, trying to regain his balance, and just as he felt himself beginning to fall, Jeremy’s hand clamped around his wrist, holding him there, suspended between the rooftop and the abyss below. But Jeremy didn’t pull him back; he just held him there, his grip firm but his intentions unclear.

Carter’s heart pounded in his chest, fear flooding his senses as he glanced down at the dizzying drop beneath him. His body felt cold, his muscles tensing as he looked back at Jeremy, tears welling in his eyes.

Jeremy’s grip tightened on Carter’s wrist, holding him just above the edge. His eyes were cold, his face unyielding as he stared down at the terrified boy.

“What were you saying?” Jeremy’s voice was low, almost a growl. “That I’m not a bad guy?”

Carter’s mouth trembled, his eyes wide with fear as he stared back at Jeremy. A tear slipped down his cheek, the reality of the situation sinking in.

Jeremy’s expression didn’t change, his gaze piercing as he continued, “Do you think giving a speech about how good you think I am will change anything?” His voice was sharp, cutting through the tension in the air. “You’re wrong. I’m a very bad guy, much worse than you could ever imagine. My heart died with Ethan. It burned to ashes, and now I don’t care about anyone.”

Carter’s eyes flicked downward, a wave of nausea hitting him as he saw just how far he could fall. His stomach churned, his breath catching in his throat.

Jeremy’s voice remained steady, emotionless.

“I only signed those papers for my company, not for you. You mean nothing to me. I could let you drop right now, and I wouldn’t care.” His words were like ice, chilling Carter to the bone. “Do you still have anything to say to me?”

Carter’s lips parted, but no sound came out. He was too scared, too overwhelmed to speak. Even if he had something to say, the fear had stolen his voice.

Jeremy’s eyes narrowed, his grip still firm but threateningly close to letting go. “Behind this stern face,” he said, “lies a heart of stone. There’s a fire raging inside me, one that’s going to burn everything to ashes—including you.”

Carter stared at Jeremy, tears streaming down his face, his mind reeling from the terror of the situation. He could feel Jeremy’s grip weakening, and the thought of falling made his heart race faster, pounding in his ears. Just when it seemed like all hope was lost, Jeremy abruptly yanked Carter’s arm, pulling him back onto the rooftop with a force that sent him crashing to his knees.

Carter collapsed onto the floor, his body trembling uncontrollably as he tried to catch his breath. He was on his knees in front of Jeremy, the fear still coursing through his veins, making his entire body shake.

Jeremy didn’t even glance at him. Without a word, he turned and walked away, leaving Carter alone on the cold rooftop, gasping for air as he struggled to process what had just happened.

***

Carter stepped out of the small shower, toweling his damp hair with tired, methodical movements. The steam clung to his skin, but he felt no warmth from it. His pajamas clung to his slightly damp skin, and he was ready to bury the day beneath layers of sleep. After what had happened with Jeremy, he desperately needed the escape. He tossed the towel on a chair and rubbed his eyes, hoping to rid himself of the lingering anxiety that gnawed at him.

Just as he exhaled, a knock on the door echoed through the quiet apartment. Carter froze, his mind racing. No one knew where he lived—at least, no one he could think of. He certainly hadn’t shared his address with anyone from work. The knock came again, sharper this time, snapping him out of his thoughts. With hesitant steps, he moved toward the door, his heart beginning to pound.

When he opened it, shock washed over him. Jeremy was leaning against the doorway, his intense gaze locking onto Carter’s, eyes dark and unreadable. Carter’s first instinct was to shut the door, but Jeremy’s foot shot forward, blocking it.

“Jeremy...” Carter’s voice was barely a whisper, laced with fear. “I don’t need any more trouble. Please, just leave me alone. I already apologized.”

His tone was respectful, almost pleading, as he addressed Jeremy as “sir.” But Jeremy didn’t move. Instead, he looked at Carter and, with an intensity that made Carter’s heart skip a beat, asked, "Is there any cure for love?"

Carter’s mouth quivered. He didn’t know how to answer that. His mind raced, but the fear still gripped him, a chilling reminder of what had transpired earlier.

“I... I don’t know,” he stammered. “But it’s something you have to figure out on your own. Please, go home. You’re not in your right mind.”

He tried to muster up some strength, but Jeremy’s presence was overwhelming.

“You’re scaring me,” Carter continued, his voice a mix of fear and frustration. “You need to take responsibility for your actions, for what you’re doing to others.”

Jeremy’s eyes bore into him for what felt like an eternity. Then, with a slow, deliberate movement, he took a step closer. Carter instinctively took a step back, his breath quickening.

“Stop,” Carter said, his voice rising with a mix of desperation and fear.

Jeremy halted, his gaze unyielding. Carter’s voice trembled as he continued, “Whatever happened today... maybe I was wrong, but you didn’t have to react like that. You can’t keep lashing out whenever you feel pain or anger. Other people have feelings too. You need to grow up.”

The words seemed to hit Jeremy like a physical blow. His eyes widened in shock, and for a moment, they turned glassy, filled with unshed tears.

His mouth trembled as he murmured, “Ethan used to say the same thing... He used to ask me when I was going to grow up, but in a beautiful way.”

Jeremy’s voice grew softer, filled with a painful nostalgia. “To me, acting like a child, being playful, it made me feel closer to Ethan. He promised me he’d be with me forever. Why did he leave me alone?”

A tear slid down Jeremy’s cheek as he looked at Carter with a mix of despair and longing.

“Today was the worst for me. I miss him so much. I see him everywhere. I feel his touch, and it’s driving me insane. I can’t go back home... I have nowhere else to go.”

Before Carter could respond, Jeremy walked past him, moving into the bedroom as if drawn by some unseen force. Carter stood there for a moment, paralyzed by the weight of the emotions swirling around him. Then, as if waking from a dream, he quickly closed the door and followed Jeremy into the bedroom.

There, he found Jeremy curled up on the bed like a child, tears streaming down his face. The sight of this man, usually so strong and intimidating, now so vulnerable and broken, tore at Carter’s heart. He hesitated, unsure of what to do, but the urge to offer comfort—to do something—compelled him forward.

Carter sat on the bed, his gaze fixed on Jeremy, who lay beside him, broken and grieving. His own eyes were misted with unshed tears, but he couldn't bring himself to cry. He swallowed hard, feeling the weight of Jeremy's pain pressing down on him.

"I don't know who Ethan was or what kind of person he was," Carter began, his voice barely above a whisper, "but from what I've seen of you... he must have been a really good man. Someone who loved you so much."

Jeremy sniveled, his voice thick with emotion as he responded, “I had never met anyone like Ethan before. He was beautiful, gentle, loving, careful... everything I ever wanted. We met when we were young, and our love... it blossomed so much that we couldn't do anything without each other.”

Memories flooded Jeremy's mind, each one more painful than the last. He could see Ethan's smile, hear his laugh, feel his touch. The happiness they shared, the dreams they built together—they all seemed like distant echoes of a life that no longer existed. When they finally got married, it was everything they had ever wanted. Their dream marriage, full of promise and love, was cruelly cut short. Ethan died just a few years after they had tied the knot, leaving Jeremy to cry, sobbing into the pillow.

“We promised each other we'd do everything together,” Jeremy continued, his voice breaking, “but Ethan did something alone. He died. He left me with an empty space in my heart that I don't know how to fill. Sometimes... sometimes I feel like dying too. But what happens to our kids? How can I leave them?”

As he cried silently, the veins in his eyes popped, a testament to the depth of his anguish. Carter sat there, helpless, unable to offer anything but his presence. Jeremy's sobs echoed in the room, and Carter felt his own pain stirring, memories of his own heartbreak bubbling to the surface.

After what felt like hours, Carter finally spoke, his voice heavy with emotion.

“I won't give you any hope because I know that none of it would matter right now.” A tear escaped down his cheek, which he quickly rubbed away. “But think of it this way, Jeremy... Ethan died still loving you. Despite everything, he loved you so much.”

More tears flooded Carter's face, and he tried to rub them away, looking away from Jeremy.

“There are some people whose whole lives are shattered by the people they love... when they find out that what they thought was love was nothing but a charade.”

As he spoke, flashes of his own past hit him like a tidal wave—holding signed divorce papers, his hands shaking uncontrollably as he read the words that ended his marriage. The betrayal, the loss, the emptiness that followed... it all came rushing back. He rubbed his tears and tried to console himself, his heart aching with the memories.

When he finally turned to look at Jeremy, he saw that the man had fallen asleep, though a tear was still trickling down his cheek. Carter watched him for a moment, feeling a mixture of sorrow and empathy. Quietly, he got up and pulled the blanket over Jeremy, covering him gently. He reached out, wanting to offer some comfort, but his hand froze in mid-air. His heart began to race, a surge of conflicting emotions overwhelming him.

He took a deep breath, retracted his hand, and switched off the light, plunging the room into darkness. Carter moved to a large couch next to the bed and sat down, lost deep in thought. Tears welled up in his eyes, and this time, he let them fall. The room was silent, save for the quiet sound of his breathing, as he grappled with his own ghosts while keeping watch over the man who had unknowingly become a part of his own pain.

To be continued…