Those Left Behind - 7. T*ts up

The week it all went tits up started just like any other. There was a parents’ evening at the school that Jackie actually attended, and Damian was doing well, it seemed. His botanical horticulture bent had been noticed by the school as something to be encouraged; there was even one of his drawings of trees up on the wall. For that evening, Jackie basked in her proud Mum moment, and they felt like any normal family.

On Thursday, Jackie had an event in town and couldn’t be home. It was Arthur who suggested the sleepover. The boys were rapturous, especially as the Dads would be doing the same. Damian and Adam would share Adam’s room, rigging up a futon on the floor, whilst Ludo would share Arthur’s bed, and they’d tell people that Ludo had drunk too much. It was risky, but fun.

The sun was still shining when Ludo got there, and the boys were messing around under the sprinkler again. Arthur smiled, proffered a beer and suggested they get naked. This was becoming a habit, and truth be told, Ludo rather liked it. He had been brought up in the old school of nudity being something to be kept to a minimum, and certainly not for sharing with others. He doubted his parents had ever really seen each other naked and sex was something done under the decent obscurity of bed covers.

“You know we were talking about whether Damian was an early developer.”

“Hmm?”

“Do you wonder what he and Adam get up to?”

“Adam and Damian?”

“Yeah. They’re both curious, both notice stuff. A bit of experimentation?”

“Christ, I can’t imagine. I was nothing like that.”

It was a relaxing evening. They let the boys stay up to watch a film, a terrible super-hero adventure that the boys loved. Then in bed, together for the first time, the two men relished the chance for peaceful intimacy, cuddles and some hot sex too.

Next morning, having delivered Damian to school, Ludo popped home to change then he would go off to a lunch meeting with clients, luckily all local. Jackie’s car was in the drive. What the hell? She was just leaving, looking crisp and business-like as ever.

To his look of enquiry, “I forgot some sodding papers, got the train back at the crack of dawn. Where’ve you been, dirty stop out?”

“Adam and Damian had a sleepover. I went round to keep Arthur company, drank a bit too much and did the same.”

She rolled her eyes, “How juvenile.” Then she thought, “Where the fuck did you sleep, that house is like a doll’s house?”

“In Arthur’s bed; he does have room for a double.”

“Fucking juvenile, couldn’t you have staggered home. Jesus, your habits are getting worse.”

“Well, you weren’t here, and it was company.”

“Hmm. Poor you”.

There was something in her tone that set Ludo off. Instead of keeping quiet, he responded. “And it was nice to be able to share a bed with someone that you’ve grown fond of, in so many ways.”

She started at him, contemptuous at first then something else dawning, “You and Arthur? You’re shitting me, right. You’re straight.”

“Bit more complicated than that. Yes, me and Arthur.”

“Oh, for fuck’s sake. Why couldn’t you have found a playmate amongst all those doting school mothers. But Arthur? For how long?”

“Month or so, maybe longer.”

“Jesus, all those lads’ evenings.” She paused, and Ludo sensed she was going to leave, so everything would be hanging in the air, but she turned back. “You’ve really fucked things up, you know that. We’d just got things back on track and then you have to go and do this. Thanks a fucking bunch.”

She stalked out, leaving Ludo bemused. What the hell did his affair with Arthur have to do with Jackie’s work project? At least, that’s what he assumed she was talking about. What else could it be?

Was he missing something?

But he didn’t have time to maunder. He changed, got his papers in order and set off. His meeting went well, very well, despite Ludo having to constantly bring his mind back to the task in hand and stop replaying the morning’s incident. He was in time to collect Damian, and they returned to a quiet house. But Damian was full of the fact that Jackie had said she’d be home early. It was only when he went upstairs to change out of his work clothes that Ludo saw the note, left on their bed (where Damian would be less likely to find it, thank goodness).

It was Jackie’s handwriting, and his heart lurched. She must have come back after he’d left the house this morning, certainly the note hadn’t been there when he’d got changed this morning. Why? Was it a goodbye and fuck-off note? He unfolded the letter and to read it three or four times, trying to make sense of it.

It was vituperative, calling him a fucking moron, as well as being homophobic and surprisingly angry. Evidently, ‘it’ was all his fault; the whole project was in danger, and she was off to fix things. When she’d made arrangements, she’d let him know; she’d not be coming back to the house. Expect to hear from a solicitor. How could he do something selfish? His affair with that boring faggot had put everything in danger.

His first thoughts were Arthur and Damian. He texted Arthur, saying there was an emergency, could Arhtur and Adam come over for the evening as he needed support. Then we went to find Damian and sat the boy down.

“Your Mum and I had an argument this morning.”

“Wasn’t she in London?”

“She came back as she’d forgotten some papers. I didn’t mean to, but I told her about Arthur. She was annoyed. She came back later and left me a note. An angry note. Her project at work is not going well. She’s going to be away for a bit.”

“Is she coming back?”

“I don’t know. I don’t think so. She’s obviously under strain, but the note did not make sense. I am hoping she will be in contact again when she calms down.”

They talked more, but how do you tell your son that you have no idea why his Mother was annoyed, and that she didn’t make sense. Nowhere did her note mention Damian at all, just a vague comment about ‘making arrangements’ as if the boy was simply a parcel to be sorted out.

He scanned the note and filed the scan in a new folder on his laptop, he’d no doubt be adding to it. He checked her wardrobe and drawers; all her good stuff had gone. She’d cleared out. Ludo tried her phone again, but it still went to voicemail. Annoyed at what he’d had to say and not say to Damian, Ludo had left a message.

>Hi, it’s me. Got your note. I’m a bit confused, what the hell is wrong? And don’t be so bloody selfish, I’ve had to tell Damian his Mum’s gone away. The least you could have done is leave him a note as well. Even if you don’t answer this, for God’s sake send him a message.

Then the doorbell, with Arthur and Adam. The boys went upstairs; he told Damian it was OK to tell Adam and no doubt they were rehashing the drama so far. He handed Arthur the note.

“What the hell happened?”

“She was here, this morning; she’d had to come back for some papers.”

“Not like Jackie to be so careless.”

“Precisely. She was rude and angry, wanted to know where I’d been. So, I told her. When she got sarcastic, I flipped and told her we’d shared a bed because I was fond of you. Thing is, she was annoyed because I’d fucked up the project. It was my fault. Then I get home and find that. All her good clothes gone.”

“It doesn’t make sense. What on earth is the connection? You and me having rampant sex hardly jeopardises the bank’s latest project, surely?”

“Unless we’ve got the project wrong?”

“What?”

Ludo shrugged, “Not sure myself, but we’re missing something.” Ludo recalled Lesley’s comments. “You remember Lesley?”

“Your former colleague, we met at the coffee shop?”

“Yeah. She’s always been direct, goes in for the kill. Well, her first question was whether Jackie’s project was on the regular or not?”

“Fuck. You reckon?”

Ludo shook his head, “I can’t see it. She’s got a decent salary, nice annual bonus, good prospects too, and she’s been devoted to the bank and to doing her job. To suddenly decide to rip people off, it’s not in character.”

But, hung in the air, was her strange note.

It was a quiet, subdued evening. After a take-away, the four watched a film together. They agreed to meet up the following day.

***

Next morning, Ludo and Daniel just finished breakfast when the doorbell went. Ludo answered and there were two police, a man and a woman, in uniform, both looked ridiculously young. The guy, with pale blond hair seemed barely older than Damian. They introduced themselves, could they speak to Mrs Jacqueline Wilson please. Ludo apologised and explained she wasn’t there. It ended up with him inviting them in and at the kitchen table, explaining that they’d probably broken up and he had no idea where she’d gone.

Ludo took them through the last couple of days, but it was impossible to tell how much they understood or believed. Neither looked old enough to have a long-term relationship, never mind know about marital breakdown. When asked why they were asking, they were cagey, ‘in connection with enquiries’.

They were polite, but Ludo felt they didn’t believe him. They left saying they would be in contact. All Ludo could think was, ‘What the fuck had Jackie got herself involved in?’