Zero to Hero, a Guide - 5. Poetry Prompt 3 – Lyrics

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Poetry Prompt 3 – Lyrics

Let's Write some Lyrics!

I'm not talking about writing a song, at least not yet. But now that we have begun to think in terms of structure, and have been introduced to the concept of lines of poetry being made up of a set number of syllables, it's time to look at the most popular form in the western world.

Like the rhythm we’ve seen from Japanese verse of 5 and 7 syllables playing back and forth, the most common equivalent in Western verse is a 6 and 8 pattern. An upcoming Prompt will talk more about the internal rhythm within different lines of poetry, but for now let's just look at how verse (meaning two or more lines of poetry) can form Lyrics by using two different syllable lengths consistently.

Emily Dickinson had an innate way of constructing her verses. They are often very lyrical, as in this example:

Nature and God – I neither knew

Yet Both so well knew me

They startled, like Executors

Of My identity.

 

Yet Neither told – that I could learn –

My Secret as secure

As Herschel's private interest,

Or Mercury's affair – [1]

This is a perfect example for us to study. For one, 835 (as it's known) is flawless as it alternates back and forth between 8 and 6 syllable lines. These Lyrics also do not bother with rhyme, which we will get to in later Prompts. For now, we can just read it and feel the connection to Tanka and Haiku, and we can build on it to write our own Lyrics. And speaking of connection, I personally never feel I can understand Dickinson's poetry except in a Queer context, and this poem, as she speaks of feeling like Nature and God have never known her, once again reconfirms that for me; it seems a very sad and familiar doubt every LGBT person has felt at one point or another.

Dickinson was by no means the only Western poet to fall naturally into this 8/6 patterning of lines. Read the following example from Robert Burns. You can see and feel the emotional power he calls into being with this rhythm, and its very consistency adds tremendously to the sense of sorrow. The man has come to a crossroads.

Love in the Guise of Friendship

 

Your friendship much can make me blest,

O why that bliss destroy.

Why urge the only, one request

You know I will deny.

 

Your thought, if Love must harbour there,

Conceal it in that thought;

Nor cause me from my bosom tear

The very friend I sought.

For our study, we can ignore Burns’ rhymes for now. The immediacy and shortness of the poem should stand out first and foremost. Here the poet can call rhythm to serve him in a crisis, and whether he took this male friendship he mentions to the next level or not, a poem like this preserves in words the initial feeling with which the writer struggled.

Here we come to something important, and again I will mention the uniformity of the alternating line lengths adds tremendously to the emotional content of Lyrics; it puts and invites us to stay in a particular headspace while the message seeps in effortlessly. Many young poets tend to think that having no form in their verse gives them freedom, but it does not. It’s a prison in which the poet’s feelings flop around like a fish out of water, flipping to one extreme here, then flopping back to another extreme there. Such pieces weary the reader because they force people to use intellect in an attempt to connect with the “message.” In the end, this exertion of having to think and sort winds up being a true roadblock to the simple and direct contact every poet should wish and seek with their readers. You are sharing yourself, right? You want the readers to feel what you have felt, right? Then you cannot bore them.

Consistency is the greatest tool in a poet’s kit of parts. Keep it in mind as you progress as a poet. Someday perhaps you too can pen lines of the quality of this final example we’ll study today. Here is an excerpt from Oscar Wilde’s Ballad of Reading Goal. As you read, keep in mind you are experiencing the effect of a pure alternating wave of 8 and 6 beat rhythms. Such wavelengths pass from the writer’s mind directly to yours. Also, for now, please don’t think too much about the rhymes; we will be studying their basics soon.

I only knew what hunted thought

Quickened his step, and why

He looked upon the garish day

With such a wistful eye;

The man had killed the thing he loved

And so he had to die.

Yet each man kills the thing he loves

By each let this be heard,

Some do it with a bitter look,

Some with a flattering word,

The coward does it with a kiss,

The brave man with a sword!

Some kill their love when they are young,

And some when they are old;

Some strangle with the hands of Lust,

Some with the hands of Gold:

The kindest use a knife, because

The dead so soon grow cold.

Some love too little, some too long,

Some sell, and others buy;

Some do the deed with many tears,

And some without a sigh:

For each man kills the thing he loves,

Yet each man does not die.

I imagine you now felt what I mean about a wavelength coming directly into your mind. Wilde’s smoothness is a result of a studied master’s touch and many years of experience, but you too can reach your readers directly with the Lyric form, so don’t ever doubt that.

The Prompt: As we are studying the rhymical back and forth of poetic lines, let’s approach the exercise as a thought vs. feeling experiment. For each of the following topics, create at least one stanza of poetry (say a minimum of four lines per stanza). You want to explore the thoughts versus emotions you had during your:

 

- Last visit to the doctor’s office

- Last Valentine’s Day

- Last funeral you attended

- Last wedding you attended

- (guys only) Last clothes-shopping trip

- (women only) Last time you had your hair done.

 

Feel free to write as many stanzas as each topic requires, and for now, do not bother with rhymes. The important thing is to get a natural wavelength of rhythm going in the reader’s mind.

Deep breath, and remember this is practice. Don’t beat your head against the wall. If it’s tough going, do one and then move onto the others. Keep your mind flexible, for you can always come back to “problem areas” in your stanzas later.

As final inspiration, here’s another one written by Emily Dickinson (known as 551):

There is a Shame of Nobleness –

Confronting Sudden Pelf –

A finer Shame of Ecstasy –

Convicted of Itself –

 

A best Disgrace – a Brave Man feels –

Acknowledged – of the Brave –

One More – "Ye Blessèd" – to be told –

But that's – Behind the Grave –

Self-Review: Now that you have written several stanzas of Lyrics, I ask you to perform a self-check against the following set of questions. If you answer ‘Yes’ to one or more of them, and this leads to feelings of dissatisfaction with your results, turn to the appendix List of Random Prompt Ideas and choose one to try the Lyrics challenge again. Check this list of questions with your second attempt and whittle those ‘Yes’s down to a comfortable level before going on to the Metre Prompt challenge.

Ask yourself DID I:

- Fall short or go over on the syllable counts?

- Fail to contrast thought vs. emotions in the Lyrics?

- Make hard stops at the end of each line?

- Treat the poem as a bunch of random lines and not a stanza?

- Regress to haiku-speak?

- Fail to make my Lyrics unified and flowing?

- Sacrifice basic grammar to achieve syllable count?

Remember, this course is designed to build knowledge and confidence step by step, so please feel comfortable with Lyrics before you proceed.