The Humpening - 1. Chapter 1

Keith and I met in primary school and hit it off immediately. Ugh, how many stories start like that? All of them? I thought so. Well, I don't care because it’s a fact. It first started with a casual chat about Minecraft and Pokemon Go and before I knew it, we were spending every other afternoon together. We liked the same games, the same cartoons, the same YouTubers, and the same jokes. I didn't know how I could have lived without him all my life. We were both only sons and we quickly became the brothers neither of us ever had.

As we grew older, we started sharing our deepest secrets.

"Keith… I think I may be gay…" I told him one day. There was only a burst of hearty laughter in response. "What's so funny? This is serious…"

"Your face, that's what's funny, Bradd. You think you might be gay, huh? You think? Dude, you're gayer than my gay uncle Chris and his husband combined!"

"Keith…"

"No, hold on! You're gayer than the entire LA Pride, that's how gay you are!"

"Keith, I'm not joking… I was gathering courage all week to tell you."

Finally, he got more serious and put his hands on my shoulders. "Bradd… I knew from the day I first saw you. It's fine. I love you the way you are."

"... Really?"

"Really!"

"Uh… okay, but how did you know? Do I act so gay?"

"As a matter of fact, you don't. Not at all! You're more masculine than I am. But you are my soulmate, bro. Bros know such things about each other,” he said. Then he turned around, unzipped his pants, and started peeing. I probably forgot to tell you we were hanging out by the pond just outside of town. “Here you can look at my penis if you want.”

“I’ve already seen it,” I shrugged, pretending I’m not interested.

“Last chance,” he said melodically, shaking his butt encouragingly.

I got red in the face but gave up and stood next to him trying not to seem too curious. But curious I was. It was true, I had caught a glimpse of Keith’s dick a year ago or so but the only thing I saw was his glans sticking out of his jeans while he peed in the cinema toilet. Now it was all out in the open; his zipper was all the way down and he pulled his t-shirt up to give me a better view. For a 14 yo, he was pretty well equipped, judging by his soft state. He was decently long and thick, so unless he was a shower, he could’ve been even bigger than me and I considered my dick fairly impressive. Keith’s dick wasn’t only big; it was also… I don’t know, beautiful. The shape was pretty much perfect, straight and thick. It got progressively thinner towards the head but the head itself was very prominent. Watching the yellowish stream of piss shamelessly escape his slit wasn’t as gross as I thought it would be.

“Nice one,” I commented. “How about we compare? It’s funny we’ve never done that.”

“Sure,” he said, as he shook off the last drops from his dick, and lowered his briefs to set his young tool free and expose his scrotum. I did the same and my penis swayed in the wind before pointing straight down, if slightly to the left.

“Wow, I thought you would be smaller,” Keith said. The next moment, we grabbed each other’s dicks and brought them together to compare the sizes.

“We’re about the same,” I said, though it was getting increasingly hard to speak. I was getting chubby down there and so was he.

“Compare boners?” he asked and there was something weird in his voice, too.

“Yeah,” I said and without another word, we started stroking one another. It really took no time at all and we were both fully hard. The feeling of someone else touching my dick was electrifying.

“I think you’re a little longer, Bradd,” he said when it was clear we were as hard as we could get.

“But yours is thicker.”

“We are both more than decent,” Keith concluded. “That’s a relief, huh?”

I was about to reply and suggest something about becoming porn actors when we grow up but just then we heard snickering from the bushes. We turned our heads in that direction and saw three kids, a few years younger than us, watching with amusement.

“Fuck off!” I yelled. “Go watch your daddy in the shower pervs.”

See, my voice could be pretty intimidating if I wanted. Long story short, the kids ran away and we were alone again, mindlessly playing with our poles.

“We should probably go. It’s too exposed here.” Keith suggested.

“Yeah. See you tomorrow.”

We dressed up and hopped on our bikes. Back at home, I went straight to bed. I lowered my pants and jerked off to an explosive orgasm, thinking about what I had just done with Keith.

***

Late at night, I couldn’t sleep. I was thinking about Keith’s dick and butt. Fuck! I should've asked him to show me his butt. It looked so full and tasty in his tight jeans. I bet he would have shown it to me if I asked.

I took my phone from the night shelf and texted him.

“U asleep?”

“No, you?” came a reply five minutes later.

“Has Amy seen it?” I typed and sent it.

“You mean my dick? Yes.”

The room has suddenly become very hot. Keith has been going out with Amy for about three months now but until today I was sure they didn’t go past the holding hands phase.

“Did she touch it?” I typed with my shaking hands.

“No. I asked her to but I think she was scared.”

I sighed with relief. See, I was pretty jealous of Keith and Amy. When Keith said I was manlier than him, he wasn’t joking. I’m not saying Keith was super feminine but he was definitely more sensitive, artistic, and emotional. I was hoping that maybe he was bi and apart from being my best friend under the sun, he could also become my very cute bottom boyfriend. Unfortunately, all evidence seemed to suggest he was 100% straight.

But here, a victory for Bradd! Who was the first person to touch Keith’s penis? Who was the first one to get him hard as a rock? Was it his sweet girlfriend Amy? Nope! It was me! I couldn't help but smile in the darkness with satisfaction.

“Give her time,” I texted him. Jealous or not, I still wanted the best for my friend. “She will want to touch it every day, I’m sure of that.”

“I’m so horny when I’m with her in my room, you have no idea,” his next text said.

“I feel you, bro, I’m horny, like, all the time.”

I sent the text and for almost 10 minutes, there was no response. I started panicking that I said something wrong but then the phone buzzed in my hand.

“Hello?” I said when I picked up the phone. I had to whisper because the parents’ bedroom was next to mine.

“Bradd?” I heard Keith’s voice and he sounded all excited. “I totally forgot. Remember Patrick Ward?”

“From history class?”

“Exactly, the small, quiet, cute one. Guess what, Bradd? He’s gay!”

“Whoa. How do you know?”

“I was at a party at his home. See, Patrick is Amy’s best friend’s brother. We were playing spin the bottle and someone asked Patrick if he was gay. And guess what! He said yes!”

“Nice,” I said. “Why are you telling it to me?”

“Are you kidding, Brad? We have to get you two together! Don’t tell me he’s not cute.”

“He is, but…”

“Then it’s settled. I’ll talk to him to meet you after school tomorrow.”

Fuck. This was unexpected. As if I didn’t have enough to think about. Sure, Patrick was beautiful; he looked like a cute squirrel with his small nose, big eyes, and thick, brown hair. The problem was, I didn’t know anything about him. We didn’t have any common friends and he always kept it to himself on breaks.

The next day, Keith acted like typical Keith. We met with Patrick outside school and he just left us there, wishing us a good time.

I took him for a walk in the park. Needless to say, the conversation didn’t really flow well. Patrick looked like he had spent some extra time this morning to look good but he was nervous and wasn’t really adding much to the conversation. I managed to learn that he liked reading books and - thank god - he liked some of the video games I did, so it fuelled the chat for a while.

I suggested we sit on a bench and relax for a little while, using the opportunity to grab his hand. Patrick tensed at first but seemed to enjoy my presence and confidence and, for another hour, we had a pretty good time talking and even laughing a little bit. I suggested walking him home and could see in his eyes that he appreciated it.

We met a few more times that week and realized that I liked Patrick. I wasn’t going to fall in love with him but he was a nice guy beneath his shy personality. He seemed to be really into me, too. Two weeks later, I invited him to my room and we kissed for the first time. Whoa, kissing was amazing! And Patrick wasn’t half bad at it, either. I thought about going for another base but didn’t want to scare him off.

After he went home, I rode my bike to Keith’s.

“So?” he asked, seeing me grin from ear to ear.

“We kissed today.”

“Nice! My man!” he exclaimed and high-fived me. “What do you say, Bradd?”

“Thank you, Keith,” I said with gratitude. Having a boyfriend also made it easier to handle Keith being in a relationship with someone else.

“Thank me when he makes you cum for the first time,” Keith winked at me.

It happened two weeks later. I won’t say I didn’t plan it ahead. I picked a day my parents were going to a party and asked Patrick out to the movies. Later, I took him home and we made out on my bed. I was very, very nervous and the same could be said about Patrick. I started touching his body and legs, sending him signals that I’d like to take it further tonight. Eventually, Patrick relaxed and started touching me back. He was doing it a bit mechanically but he was clearly excited. I pushed my tongue into his mouth, grabbed his hand, and gently led it to my crotch. Patrick gasped when he felt my rigid shaft through my shorts. At first, he backed away but a few moments later, he placed his small hand back on my bulge and started massaging it gently. He was mine.

“Do you want to see it, Patrick?” I whispered.

“Yes.”

I pulled my shorts down along with my boxer briefs and my throbbing dick sprang to life.

“Whoa,” Patrick gasped.

“Don’t be afraid babe,” I said. “Touch it.”

When he did, I saw stars. I was so horny for him and I had hardly jerked off for the past month, feeling that my first time with a boy was just around the corner. And there it was. I was getting a handjob from one of the cutest boys at school. It wasn’t an awful handjob either. I could tell he had some experience playing with himself. At first, I considered asking him to blow me, but the handjob felt amazing and Patrick seemed so focused on his task, so I didn’t dare get in the way.

Maybe it was because I was nervous, maybe it was because Patrick was switching his tired hands frequently, but it took me about twenty minutes to cum. I didn’t complain; I enjoyed every minute of it, playing with Patrick’s mid-length brown hair and enjoying his touch. He must’ve felt that I was close because he sped up. I held my breath, grasped his hair tightly, and exploded, sending shot after shot of a sticky mess on my t-shirt. The rest oozed down Patrick’s fingers and he didn’t seem grossed out by it at all. A big smile appeared on the boy’s face and he seemed endlessly proud of his deed.

“It was wonderful, Patrick. You are sooooo good,” I praised him and we went right for a long, sensual kiss.

I offered to return the favor but Patrick declined.

“Next time, Bradd,” he said and we kissed some more. We spent the rest of the evening cuddling and watching movies. Sex was awesome! Having a boyfriend was awesome! I was in heaven.

The next day, Keith hugged me when I told him what happened.

“Good for you, bro. So you got some action before I did, I can’t believe it.”

“Amy still wouldn’t do it?”

“No. Do you think I should go gay, Bradd?”

“Just tell her I’m having sex with Patrick so she feels threatened.”

Keith considered it for a moment. “That doesn’t sound half bad. I’ll give it a try.”

A few days later, I came out to my parents and convinced Patrick to meet them. They were a little shocked but also very accepting and they loved Patrick. At least they did whatever they could to make him feel at home. I’ll be honest, I wasn’t madly in love but I liked Patrick a lot, and having a boyfriend felt great after being closeted my whole life.

Not gonna lie, things progressed pretty quickly from there. We started holding hands in school corridors. I came out to my class and most of my friends and thanks to Keith, who always rooted for me, there was not one single voice of disapproval. One weekend, we went on a double date with Keith and Amy to eat at KFC and see the movies. For me, this was the taste of freedom.

That evening, for the first time I managed to get us both fully naked in my bed. Patrick’s dick was considerably smaller but also nothing to be ashamed of. After all, he was almost a year younger than me and he was smaller in general, so all in all, he looked very… proportional in all aspects. What can I say, we spent literally hours sucking each other and kissing. We 69ed, licked, sucked, petted, and more. This felt like real sex, finally and we both couldn’t get enough. We both came twice that evening and there was no mess to clean. I found cum pretty gross but I swallowed Patrick’s as eagerly as he swallowed mine. I didn’t want him to think I was holding back.

That continued for another month. It was a very sexy month and I hoped that it didn’t show at school that I was walking around with a dick sore all the time. Patrick loved dick in general and he just adored mine. He mentioned it repeatedly but also constantly proved it by his actions. Eventually, it was him who suggested that I should take his cherry. I bought a bottle of lube and invited him over on one of those weekends when my parents like to go on a field trip and stay the night in a mountain cabin with their friends. It didn’t go as smoothly as I expected. Patrick was eager and I was hard as steel but I couldn’t get it right. It took me twenty minutes and I was getting really frustrated when I finally popped in. Patrick took it like a champ. My instincts kicked in immediately and I knew for sure I was born to fuck. I was overjoyed but Patrick was fucking in heaven. The initial pain quickly made way for endless bliss as I was fucking him senseless. Two weeks shy of my fifteenth birthday my sex life was starting to look sooo veeery goood. Patrick’s arms were desperately wrapped around my neck and he was barely able to kiss me back whenever I lowered myself to squash our mouths.

The orgasm was so powerful I almost fainted. We didn’t sleep at all that night. Patrick was nestled into me from the side, resting his head on my chest and his hand on my belly. My dick was resting below my soft pillow of young pubes, chubbed up and satisfied. We talked about everything and I was happy.

“I wasn’t sure about you at first,” I said around 3 am. “But now I made up my mind. I want you to be my boyfriend, Patrick.”

“I love you, Bradd.”

We kissed passionately and that led to fucking round two. This time I took him doggy style and he took it beautifully.

Did I mention that Patrick fucking loved my cock?

The next day, I asked my dad if we could talk. I told him that Patrick and I were having sex and wanted to make sure it was alright if we did it under their roof. I cringed when Dad started a lecture about consent, safety, and other technicalities but he said I have to endure it if I want him to give us his blessing. He promised to talk to Mom, too, so I endured it. The holy land of wild sex, powerful orgasms, and endless cum stood open before me.

Keith couldn’t believe it. He said Amy still refused to even see it again, let alone touch it.

That is, until one warm, April day when I got a call from him.

“Dude, can I come over real quick?” he asked.

“I guess so, why?”

“I’ll tell you when I see you. It’s urgent,” he said and hung up.

Twenty minutes later he was ringing my doorbell and I let him in.

“Dude, are your parents home?” he asked in a confidential whisper before he even took off his shoes.

“No, why?”

“Bradd, dude, Amy told me she wants to fuck.”

“You’re kidding!”

“I’m not! Guess what, I told her that you and Patrick went all the way and I think she felt I might dump her if she doesn’t let me do it. And she’s damn right!”

“Wow, good for you, bro! When do you want to do it?”

“She said her parents are going to a party next Saturday. We’ll have at least five hours just to ourselves.”

“Dude!” I laughed and made fucking motions before we high-fived. But Keith looked nervous.

“What’s the matter, man?” I asked.

“Uh, nothing, why?” he shrugged and I immediately knew something was wrong.

I moved closer to him and hugged him. “It’s alright, Keith. Whatever it is, you can tell me.”

“It’s nothing, dude, I’m serious,” he said but his voice was weak and he hugged me back tightly. A few moments of silence later, he shuddered in my arms and started crying.

“There, there, dude,” I comforted him. “Have a good cry, it will make you feel better.”

I held him in my arms, wondering what was going on, and let him vent in silence.

“I’m scared, dude,” he whispered eventually.

“What? Why? You’re awesome, man,” I said and patted him on the back.

Keith pulled back from the hug and looked me in the eyes. “I fucked up, man. I fucked up big time. I played this manly macho guy in front of her but it’s all a lie!”

Keith sniffed and a few more tears escaped from his eyes. He looked away, ashamed of his state. I hugged him again and he gladly accepted.

“Dude,” he continued after a minute. “I have no idea how to fuck. So what if I have a big dick. She will be disappointed when she sees I’m clueless.”

“Keith, man, stop it,” I said. “She’s as inexperienced as you are. And you will do great. It took me half an hour to stick my dick in Patrick’s ass. It’s fine. Take your time. Once you get the basics, it will come naturally.”

“I don’t know, Bradd, I’m so scared. I’m considering just dumping her and forgetting about it. I really should just go gay, dude.”

Perfect. Just perfect. Just when I got over Keith and started building a relationship with a boy that was actually into me, Keith comes over and starts giving me weird hints.

I sighed. “Dude… I know you too well. Admit it… Are you trying to talk me into practicing fucking on me?”

Keith looked at me with wide eyes. He opened his mouth and closed it before speaking up. “Would… would you do it, dude? If I could do it with someone who will not judge my performance, I would feel so much better.”

“No! Keith… come on! You have a girlfriend. I have a boyfriend. We can’t fuck, dude! Also, I’m a top. Do you know what that means?”

“... yes.”

“I wouldn’t let anyone fuck me, even you! I’m not gonna lie, back in the day I would have fucked you any day but not the other way around. And not when I finally have a boyfriend that I care for. And yes, I remember that it’s all thanks to you, Keith, and I will be forever grateful for your help. I wouldn’t be as happy as I am without you.”

Keith sighed and sat on my bed. He pouted and looked down at his feet. “You’re right, dude. What was I thinking? My relationship with Amy is a lie. I’m not ready for it. I need to dump her before I hurt her even more.”

I sat next to him and instinctively put my hand on his knee. “Now, dude, you are exaggerating. No one is ever ready for it, I swear. I barely managed to get it up with Patrick for the first time. It’s fine. And if she judges you, then she’s a stupid bitch and you should dump her.”

Keith grabbed my hand. “You are right, dude. You are so right. But I can’t do it. I made a mistake. Don’t worry about me, I just need time to sort myself out. Let’s talk about something else, eh?”

I stopped pushing him but I also didn’t know what else to say so we sat there in silence. Having a best friend has many benefits and one of them is that you can just sit in silence sometimes without forcing small talk. Meanwhile, I started accepting what I should do as a friend.

“Keith, dude,” I said. “I love you more than life, but I will not let you fuck me. Not in a million years. But I can do something else to help you practice fucking before Saturday. How does that sound?”

Keith looked up at me with fresh hope. “What would you do? What’s your plan?”

“I’ll tell you in a while. But first I have to call Patrick and make sure it’s fine with him.”

Without waiting for Keith’s answer, I dialled Patrick’s number and went to the other room to talk to him and lay out my plan.

“What do you say, babe?” I asked. “I won’t do it unless you are 100% comfortable with it.”

There was a silence on the other end of the line before he spoke. “Bradd… You’re a sweetheart for trying to help out your friend but it would make me feel really bad. Do what you want to do but I want to be honest with you. I don’t want to share you with anyone else… It would… It would just feel bad. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t worry, babe,” I said. “I’m not sure how I feel about it myself. I will see you tomorrow, right?”

“Yes. Miss you.”

“Miss you, too.”

I passed the bad news to Keith and he took it better than I thought. I found it hard to wrap my head around what happened to my friend. He was always out there and confident. It turned out he lived in denial just as we all do.

He was already putting on his shoes, ready to go, when I got a text from Patrick.

“Okay, you can do it. But I have to be there for it,” it said.

My heart pumped faster. Well, that was unexpected. I quickly repeated it to Keith.

“He wants to watch? Well, okay, but you still didn’t tell me the plan,” he said.

“I will tell you as we go; it will be easier.”

Keith agreed eagerly and I texted Patrick to come over. When he did, he sat on the chair while I told Keith to undress. He looked nervously at Patrick and closed his eyes before sliding his undies down to his ankles and stepping out of them. Keith was already semi-hard and I felt a sting of jealousy when I noticed Patrick looked at his impressive boyhood with awe. I scolded myself and focused back on the task. It was all my idea after all.

I took the bottle of lube from my drawer. Then I took my big, white, fluffy pillow and placed it in the middle of my bed. Then I placed a smaller one for Keith to rest his head if needed.

“Okay, Keith, lay down on your belly and press your dick against the big pillow.”

Keith complied but his moves were awkward. His hands were shaking and I could see he was uncomfortable. It almost looked like he was starting to regret the whole thing.

“Very good,” I said cheerfully to ease the tension a little bit. I generously squeezed the lube into my hands and approached Keith. “Raise up,” I commanded. “Higher!” I repeated and Keith lifted his butt up in the air.

I knelt down and applied the lube to his dick, covering every patch of his skin and even his hairless balls.

“Now stay like this for a bit,” I said and got even more lube on my hands. Then, I curled my hands in a tube, as if I was holding a sword, and positioned them between him and the pillow.

“Here you go, Keith. Imagine it’s a pussy. Now lower yourself and stick your dick in.”

Keith opened his mouth without a sound as he finally understood my plan. He pushed his hips a little and met the opening in my outer hand. I purposefully made it tight, so he had to work to earn his fuck.

“Steady now, dude,” I said calmly. “You’re doing well. Imagine it’s Amy’s hot pussy. Now give me a nice push and get this big boy in.”

Keith clenched his buttcheeks and applied more pressure to the opening in my curled palm.

“Just a little stronger, man, you’re almost there.” I looked back at Patrick who was watching the scene intently and gave him a wink. He gave me a weak but warm smile in return.

“Ugh…” Keith grunted and with a single push, he finally breached the tightness of my fist and I felt his penis slide inside my lubricated hands. His dick was hot like a furnace and rigid as stainless steel. Whatever his sexual insecurities were, he should abandon them right now.

“There you go, dude. Look at this monster, Patrick. Amy won’t even know what hit her, right?”

Keith laughed nervously but I could see the spark of pride in his eyes. “Am I doing okay?” he stuttered.

“You are doing more than okay, dude. You’re a sex beast in the making. Now start humping. Easy. You don’t want to burst her during your first time, right?”

Keith laughed again but seemed way more relaxed. A few breaths later, he retracted his dick a little and pushed back. Then again, and again, and each of his thrusts was longer and more powerful than the last one. I won’t lie, feeling his sculpted piece of meat in my hands felt really hot, too.

“Look at you, dude,” I said as Keith’s instincts took over and he started fucking my fists with more confidence. “You are a natural! Amy’s friends will be so jealous and believe me, she will tell them every detail.”

“Shit… it feels so good…” Keith only managed to say as he was sliding his dick in and out of my slippery, hand-made sex toy. I had to stop myself from getting my own dick out and fucking Keith right in front of my boyfriend.

Just then, Patrick did something unexpected. He sat on the bed next to Keith’s legs. He took the lube and put some on his fingers, smeared it evenly, and with a swift and sneaky move, he found my best friend’s exposed hole.

“Ouch! Cold…” Keith hissed but didn’t stop fucking my hands. I nodded at Patrick to encourage him.

I watched Patrick press his index finger against Keith’s sphincter and inevitably, my best friend started slowly impaling himself onto my boyfriend’s small digit.

“Ugh… ahhh…” Keith moaned and from the sound of it, he was enjoying himself a lot.

I opened my eyes wide when I saw Patrick extend his middle finger.

“Ack…” Keith grunted when his sphincter let both fingers through. His thrusts were now slower but more powerful. His facial expressions changed adorably in between fucking and being fucked. He buried his face in the pillow and with time, his fucking became more frantic and uneven. That’s when Patrick extended his third finger and Keith lost it completely.

“Oh fuck… oh shit… Oh yes… fuck…” he let out muffled grunts into the pillow, lost in a complete sensory overload. My dick was hard and throbbing inside my pants and I regretted I didn’t get myself naked before we started. Now it looked like Keith was nearly done.

I was mistaken. It took another fifteen minutes, if not more. Keith would slow down, then pick up again, making sure his thrusts were long enough to bring him maximum pleasure on both ends. Patrick and I looked at each other with sheer amusement. He couldn’t get enough!

It was Patrick who decided to put an end to this. This boy was full of surprises. He supported himself on his knee to get a better angle and started fingering Keith’s ass with the speed of light.

“Mhmmmpppphhh….. Ooooh…..” Keith let out high-pitched moans and started rabbit-fucking my fists. I tightened my grip around his meat and watched the scene with fascination.

Finally, he came. He let out a few muffled grunts into the pillow and his dick started pulsating in my hands. A moment later, I felt warm, sticky fluid on my fingers. It kept coming and coming, and Keith’s thrusts were becoming more frantic and desperate. With the final push, Keith collapsed on the bed and panted like a dog, his cum slowly soaking into my poor pillow.

With a slurping sound, Patrick removed his fingers from Keith’s hole and went to the bathroom to wash his hands. I wiped my own hands in a paper towel and watched Keith recover on my messy bed. After a minute, he rolled onto his back and looked at me with the most stupid grin I have ever seen on him. His dick was already softish but still chubby and reddened, glistering from the little lube that hadn't evaporated during the humpening.

I grabbed his hand. “Go and destroy that girl, dude!”

***

It was Saturday evening. I was chilling with Patrick in my bed. We’d just had sex and were watching something on Netflix without paying too much attention.

“How do you think Keith is doing?” Patrick asked me and tickled my pubes above my deflating cock.

I checked the clock. “If my calculations are correct, he’s probably fucking her for the third time as we speak, babe.”

We kissed for a little while and went back to watching the movie. Some twenty minutes later, my phone buzzed. It was Keith.

“‘sup, dude?” I asked lazily when I picked up.

“Bradd, are you busy? Can I come over?”

After checking with Patrick, I confirmed that indeed we are not busy and he can come. He arrived in less than ten minutes and my mom told him to go straight to our room. I covered us with a blanket because we were too lazy to dress up.

Keith stormed into the room and sat on the chair with a poker face. We waited for him to say something but he just stared at the wall with a weird smile.

“So?” I asked impatiently.

He stretched and put his hands behind his head. “I just lost my virginity,” he said casually.

“Whoo!” We cheered with Patrick. “Good job, dude. How was it?” I asked.

“How was it?” Keith asked and pretended to ponder it for a second. “What’s the word… uhm, oh yes! It was awful.”

I raised my eyebrows. “What? What happened?”

“Did you have a phallic malfunction?” Patrick asked, cracking me up.

“Nope, my dick worked like a charm. It’s Amy. See, I don’t think she was ready for that. I was doing everything, and she was just lying there like a log.”

“Really?” I asked, giving him an ironic smile.

“In the end, I thought, screw it all, at least I’ll get to fuck and forget about it. But she was so uninterested I couldn’t bring myself to an orgasm.”

“I’m sorry, dude,” I said. “You know, there are much more fish in the sea.”

“I know, Bradd, I don’t care. Listen, boys, I’m pretty much unsatisfied, if you know what I mean. Do you still have some of that lube left?”