When it All Seemed Okay, and the Storm Never Came - 1. The Converstion

“Man, I’ve been so stoked for this party,” Damien said.

“No kidding,” Jordan replied. “I heard Cory and Shawna are coming through.”

“Get the fuck out! Damn, we got the whole crew coming in. It’ll be just like the old days…”

Damien and Jordan rode down highway 89, passing miles of forest that appeared on each side. Damien flew in from his new home up north to reunite with college friends for the weekend. Jordan would be the one to grab him from the airport to take him back to his home where the friends would be spending their first night. Rain clouds blanketed the afternoon sky, the humidity only adding to the warm weather this weekend.

Jordan asked, “How long has it been since you seen everyone?”

Damien’s fingers started messing with his beard. “Damn, maybe graduation? I know I’ve seen uh-uh Tim last time I came down here.”

“Tim? The dude who always got everybody drunk?”

“Tim knew how to party! Can’t blame him for that. I hit em’ up last week letting him know we was all getting together.”

Jordan’s eyes narrowed, their caramel tint becoming mildly darker. “...He isn’t coming is he?”

“I mean, I think so. Is that not cool?”

“Shit Damien.” Jordan’s right hand flew in the air in the frustration. “Like, you know this dude. He’s gonna destroy the place! Tell him if he’s gonna come, he needs to watch his drinking or I’m kicking him out.”

“Bro, chill. He says he’s been sober since school ended.” Jordan rolled his eyes. “Hey, I saw that! He said he just needed to be outta college and away from the party scene. I think he’s a changed dude.”

“I’ll believe it when I see it.” This was typical Damien, bringing people over without letting anyone know. Jordan squeezed his eyes in mild frustration. “Alright, who else did you tell, cuz I know how you are.”

“Hey, don’t stress. I think I told, like, two of my other bros? -But that’s it! They’re not gonna mess with your shit. I’ll let em’ know.” Jordan exited the freeway and came to a stoplight.

A light drizzle fell to the Earth, moistening the fertile fields and cleansing the oily, concrete streets. The distinct smell of manure penetrated the car. Jordan, being used to the smell, had no reaction. Though the two grew up in the area, Damien immediately waved his hand in front of him as if to rid away the smell, making Jordan laugh.

“What’s so funny?” Jordan nodded, still laughing. The street light flashed to green and the two were off.

Jordan changed his demeanor and sighed. “Who are the two guys you brought? Do I know them?”

“Uh, I don’t think you met Jamal yet. Jamal’s cool though, he was president of the Black Student Union, if you remember him. But man, guess who I got to come through? Our old boy, Xavier!” Jordan felt his mouth go dry. He forced a cough and tried concentrating back to the road.

“Xavier huh?”

“Yeah, ain’t that crazy? We used to do some mad partying at Campbell U together. Remember Cory, Xavier, you and I used to hit up the bars and clubs? Xavier always found a dude to hook up with. Tim was telling me Xavier’s still the player, picking up dudes left and right. It’s gonna be good to see him again...He said he’ll be there.” Damien rested his head on his hand, relaxing and reminiscing of the old days. Jordan, however, felt a panic well up in him.

“When’s he coming?”

“He said he’ll be at your place in a few hours! Aren’t you glad I got ahold of him? He told me ya’ll hadn’t spoken for awhile-”

“Imma need to stop the car for a sec. I need to make a call.” Jordan stopped on the shoulder of the road. He pulled out his phone, went through his contacts, and found a number. He called it, grabbed for his hoodie in the back, and opened the door. “I’ll be a minute.” Before Damien could ask what was going on, Jordan shut the door behind him. Damien sat in the car, uncertain of what transpired. He watched the cars pass by on the road beside them. He then turned to Jordan. Jordan’s expression looked visibly troubled as he paced restlessly beside the car. Damien couldn’t hear a word.

After some time, Jordan reentered the car. Damien watched Jordan who, without a word, turned on the car and merged back on the road.

“Hey, you alright?” Damien asked.

Jordan didn’t answer immediately. His eyes kept looking forward on the road.

“Damien. I know this isn’t gonna make any sense, but...” He stopped, took in a deep breath, and shut his eyes for a few seconds. “You can’t bring Xavier to the house tonight.”

Damien shifted in his seat toward the passenger door. “Wait, wait, the dude is already coming all this way. What am I supposed to tell him?”

“I guess him, you, and I can maybe kick it some other time in the weekend, but...”

“Jordan, what the fuck is this? What’s going on?” Jordan gulped, his hands gripping the steering wheel tighter.

“Look, there’s some people at my place who might feel uncomfortable around the guy. Honestly, it’s just for one night.”

Damien shook his head in disbelief. “This is the first time I’m hearing this. We all kicked it with Xavier and no one had a problem with him when we were all going to school. What happened? Is that what that phone call was about?” Jordan’s mouth was agape, revealing his thoughts without having said anything. Damien looked at Jordan’s phone that he left in the cup holder. Jordan noticed Damien’s eyes, but before he could react, Damien snatched it.

“What the hell are you doing? Give me back my phone-”

“No, you need to tell me what’s going on. I thought you and Xavier was cool. Now, do I gotta look through your phone and figure it out or are you gonna spit it out?”

“Damien, I can’t just be talking about people’s business like this-”

“I’m waiting.” Damien sucked in his lips and shook his head. “Who is it? Who told you they don’t want Xavier coming?”

“Cory.” Damien sat there staring at Jordan. He couldn’t find the words. He put Damien’s phone back in the holder.

“Cory? What beef do Cory and Xavier have-”

“Look Damien, I really shouldn’t talk about this. I’m already telling you more than you should know. You don’t even know, it just really isn’t my place.”

Damien looked hard at Jordan. “We’re bros man. This’ll just be between the two of us if it’s gotta be, but I’m not gonna be able to keep Xavier away if I don’t know what the deal is.” Jordan wiped the sweat from his forehead. He stopped on the street again, just a few blocks away from his place. They were in suburbia, with houses that had large green lawns and open backyards. The rain outside began pelting the window harder and before long, a rhythm of raindrops could be heard hitting the ground around them.

Jordan concentrated on the steering wheel. “I stopped here because I don’t want Cory to be involved in this conversation. He’s at my place now.” Jordan swallowed again. “I think Xavier went too far with Cory.”

“What?”

“...Remember that party we had, right before we all graduated? We were all having a good time, having drinks. And you remember Cory?”

Damien let out a small laugh. “Yeah, he was lit.”

“He was messed up, Damien. He was hardly able to stand. I got him up to the guest room to sleep and I don’t remember much else. I was drinking a bit too and I wish I hadn’t that night so I could’ve stop-” Jordan trailed off. He shook his head violently, trying to ward off a troubling, unsettling thought that he had spent so long trying not to believe. His guilt came again.

“Anyway,” he said, voice shaking, “he-he said he passed out on the bed. But he woke up and...Xavier was trying to do stuff to him, taking off his clothes. Cory said if he hadn’t woken up, he couldn't imagine what Xavier would’ve done.” Damien’s face was contorted. Jordan stared at the glove compartment in front of Damien. “He tried confronting Xavier about it later, but Xavier denied anything happened. Since then, Cory can’t be around him anymore. He doesn’t trust him...” The two sat in silence for a few moments. The windows in the car grew foggy. They could hear a plane fly above them.

“So...you believe him?” Damien asked.

Jordan shrugged. “I have no reason not to.”

Damien clicked his tongue and forced a laugh. “Man, I can’t believe this.”

“What can’t you believe?”

“That you think Xavier would do shit like that! I mean, come on man, you’ve known him for years bro, years. You really think that’s the kind of dude he is?”

“Cory isn’t a liar, Damian. He wouldn’t make up a story like that.”

Damien exhaled and shrugged. “I don’t know, you did say he was pretty messed up that night, right? Maybe he’s just remembering things wrong. Xavier was just helping Cory out of his clothes or something. That’s probably what happened.”

Jordan nodded. “Even if he was, you don’t do the things he did when someone is passed out on a bed. You don’t...touch them in places they never asked to be touched at, or kiss someone without their permission.”

Damien rose his voice, “So what are you saying? You want me to believe that my boy is a rapist? Is that you want me to do right now, Jordan? Fuck, this is bullshit.” Damien hit his fist into the dashboard. Jordan looked at Damien, visibly shaking in his seat. The hand he used to strike the dashboard was balled in a fist, pressed into his quivering lips.

“Damien-”

“Just stop talking, bro. Just stop fucking talk.” The two remained in a tension filled silence. Damien turned to the window beside him and noticed that Jordan had parked in front of Ms. Margaret’s light peach home with the white porch. A convenient distraction, Damien’s eyes were focused on the lawn, decorated nicely with full bloom flowers he didn’t know the names of. Twenty years later and he can still remember causing havoc to that garden with his buddy Jordan. The two of them would be covered in broken petals and smeared mud before Ms. Margaret would come out with her wooden spoon. Distraction indeed: He’d rather be in the past where all he had to fear was a few moments of physical punishment from his motherly neighbor instead of contemplating his lifelong friend’s guilt or innocence.

“So what now man,” he said finally.

Jordan’s eyebrows furrowed. “What do you mean?”

“We weren’t there. We didn’t see what happened.”

“...No, we didn’t.” Jordan, for the first time, looked at Damien who was staring at the rivers of rain that flowed down the windshield. “I can’t make you believe anything. But I can tell you, straight up, that Cory had been through hell and back. You ever had a phone call with someone you care about, telling you that they think they’ve been assaulted? The fucking fear and devastation in his voice. I can never forget the way he cried that night, when he eventually told me. And to hear it was Xavier? That was a blow I could never recover from...You ever wondered why he didn’t show up for graduation?”

Damien’s eyes narrowed in contemplation. “I never thought of it." Damien and Jordan met eyes. "How come he never told me?”

Jordan shrugged. “I would think this isn’t the easiest thing to tell people. On top of that, we’re Xavier’s friends. He probably thought you’d give him the same reaction you gave me.” Damien’s eyes widened. He glanced at Jordan before looking out the window into the world. An inkling of guilt was felt, though he wasn’t ready to presume anything.

“It’s natural to feel some hesitance accepting what I’ve said.” Jordan continued as though reading Damien’s mind. “Maybe you won’t feel any different this weekend, or the next weekend, or this month, or even this year. That’s okay. I’m just asking that we do this for Cory. He’s been through a lot, he needs this.” The rain outside had stopped. The clouds above began to break and pockets of sun pierced through the sky onto the ground below. The streets, the leaves, even Ms. Margaret’s garden, were glowing.

Jordan turned to see Damian pull his phone out of his pocket. He dialed a number and held the phone to his ear. Jordan seemed confused, at first.

“Hey bro, it’s me, Damian. Hey listen, about the party tonight…”