Chapter Seven – Cole

“Cole, wait. Don’t leave,” Doll called out.

I held up my hand heading toward my bike, once again frantically searching my pockets for the key. I have never been more relieved when I felt the cold metal of the jagged bastard in my life. I straddled the bike, jammed the key into the ignition, then pushed the button to start. I was pulling my helmet on when Doll finally caught up to me.

I blew out a breath. “I’m fine, Doll. It’s fine.”

Pulling the clutch, I stomped the bike in gear and hit the throttle. The bike leaped into the air before landing hard on the pavement, fishtailing out of the club parking lot. My heart was beating a million miles a minute.

I can’t even begin to understand how I fooled myself into thinking this was the beginning of something. I’ve been on cloud nine all day thinking the moment was finally here. I mean - I’m not an idiot, a mutual blowjob and some frotting does not a relationship make. But, I thought, at least it was a start. Damon seemed so into it last night. I know we’d both had a lot to drink but it didn’t feel like just fucking. He’d been… I don’t know… It seemed like we had that ‘thing’ - the spark - the extra something that makes it more than just a hookup or quick fuck.

I’m such an idiot. Why did I think someone like Damon would go for me? I mean, we’ve been friends forever. If something were going to happen, you’d think it would have happened by now. God, this is so humiliating! Here I was excitedly telling Tommy it had finally happened. I mean … Jesus … last night Damon had even said he’d wanted an ‘us’ for years. He was happy we were doing this. His hands and lips were everywhere. I can still feel them running up and down my sides, my thighs, my neck, my cock. A shiver ran through me at the memory.

Here I thought this was the best day of my life, right up until seven o’clock tonight, when it went to crap. My god, the look on his face: the horror was written right there for everyone to see. It was like he didn’t want to remember or think of the night before as if he’d regretted it. He didn’t want me. Fuck – the knot in my chest tightened.

“Fuck!” I screamed, slamming the brakes, almost losing the bike from under me. Panting from the sudden burst of adrenaline, I sat at the red light, trying to calm down enough to keep riding. With my heart pounding and my hands shaking, I took off slowly from the lights when they turned green. And without even thinking, I headed to my parents’ house. A safe haven. A place where I could just… be.

I wouldn’t have to face my friends or see their pitying looks. No Damon, the fact that I’d have to try and avoid him for the foreseeable future. And didn’t that just ring the ironic bell? The whole reason I’d never wanted to tell him how I felt in the first place: I was scared I’d lose him, and look at that? I did. My eyes stinging with tears made it hard to see so I pulled over. My mom would kill me if I died in a bike accident. By the time I reached my parents’ place my insides were one big knot. I knew I had to look a hot mess.

Mom opened the door before I even reached the threshold. She stood on the porch of the old farmhouse-style home I grew up in. It only took one look at me and she opened her arms. I fell into them with a sob. She shushed quietly in my ear, rubbing my back soothingly, just like when I was a kid.

“Can I stay here tonight?” I asked, trying to not completely lose my shit in front of the whole neighborhood.

“Of course, honey. Go on up to your room and lay down. Are you hungry?”

I shook my head ‘no’ into her neck. “Thanks, mom.”

She let me go and I headed straight to my childhood bedroom where I flopped down on the bed and let it all go. I have no idea how long I laid there crying, sobbing, like a kid whose pet dog had just died or something. The bed dipped down next to me and fingers ran through my hair. Mom just sat there next to me and let me cry. She didn’t say a word just kept running her fingers through my now flat pink hair, gently massaging my scalp like she did when I was little. When I finally calmed down and was down to sniffles, I rolled over to my mom leaning against the headboard her fingers still running through my hair.

“Is this about your hair? Because I gotta be honest… I kind of like it.” She smiled cheekily.

“I lost a bet, unfortunately. Sierra was at the club, so they made me get it done right away.” My voice was sullen and flat. Damn Doll’s sister and her crappy timing. Although she’s a real sweetheart, unfortunately, she will go out of her way to help anybody - including Raj and Tommy - to make my hair pink – at a nightclub of all places.

She looked at me thoughtfully, “Well, I like it. It goes with the red splotchy face thing you’ve got going on.”

“Funny.”

Mom waved her hand in the air, sniffing with confidence, then slapping her knee. “I sir, am a hoot. You ask your dad.”

“I question his sanity. All the time. I don’t think he’s a credible character reference.” I chuckled with a hiccup. I can always count on mom.

Her face turned serious. “Do you want to tell me what happened?”

Did I? No, I don’t think so. I shook my head, closing my eyes so I didn’t have to see the look of hurt on her face. Only to be confronted by the look on Damon’s face. My gut twisted tighter. I don’t think I had any more tears to give, even though my eyes stung.

“Okay,” she bent down and kissed the top of my head. “You get some rest. We can talk in the morning.” Mom got up and walked to the door. She glanced back to me and smiled sadly. “I love you.” she said, flicking the light off and closing the door behind her.

“I love you too,” I said.

Mom banged on the door once. “I love you more.”

“I love you the most,” I said into the darkness.

It didn’t take long for exhaustion to take over and I fell asleep. The only problem with sleep is dreams. And damn if I didn’t relive the entire night I spent with Damon. I woke with a start. The humiliation of his rejection ran me over like a freaking truck. The haunted look on his face just glared at me. Kelly stood beside him looking on, laughing. I didn’t remember that until now. Why did he find this situation amusing? Was he playing games? He is the one who told me to tell Damon how I felt - not that it really went down that way - but the end result was the same. I don’t know whether to hate Kelly for that or not. If he knew Damon didn’t feel the same way, why did he tell me to speak to Damon in the first place? He made it sound like Damon had felt the same way about me and the feeling would be mutual. Am I just a fucking joke to them? Now I feel angry and humiliated. How was I going to face everyone again? Whatever!

Even though I’d fallen asleep at toddler o’clock and slept all night, I still feel exhausted and in desperate need of a shower. Luckily, I’d left various clothes here over the past several years. I managed to find a pair of sweatpants and a T-shirt that still fit me, grateful that I could shower and put on clean clothes. By the time I hit the kitchen, mom had already made breakfast and there was a plate in the oven. Telling me to sit, she brought it to me, going back for a coffee and getting one for herself before sitting down.

“How are you feeling?” She asked, nudging my plate closer so I would eat.

“Like I’ve been run over by a truck after outrunning a train.”

“Dramatic.” Mom tilted her head watching me push food around my plate. “I’ll call off work, and we can talk and hang out.”

I lifted my eyes to her, not moving my head. “Don’t do that, mom. I’ll be fine. I might stay the weekend, though, if you’re okay with it?”

Her hand reached over taking mine, squeezing so I’d look at her. “Honey, this is your home. If you can’t come here and lick your wounds, where can you go?” She looked at her watch. “If you’re sure you’ll be fine until I get home, then I’d better head to work, or else I’ll be late.”

“Go, mom. I’ll be fine.”

“Okay,” she sighed, “love you. See you tonight.”

When the front door opened, I heard my mom tell my brother, Nathan, to be nice, “No teasing your brother.”

“Sure mom.” He answered and three seconds later he was standing in the kitchen doorway with a duffle bag overflowing with what I assume is dirty clothes. “Hey,” he said warily, “what are you doing here?”

I watched him walk by me to the laundry room door. “Laundry,” I answered sarcastically.

“Yeah? Me too.” His voice was bright and teasing. God, he’s loud. I could hear him fussing in the laundry room until he appeared again in the kitchen. “Ooh, coffee, coffee, coffee,” He sang heading to the coffee pot. Grabbing himself a cup, he slumped down in a chair at the table next to me. “Did you know your hair is pink?”

<<<<>>>>

It took everything – every ounce of energy - to get out of bed and come to work this morning. I had managed to drag my ass to the shower. That only lasted until I decided to check my phone. I definitely shouldn’t have done that because all it did was make me crawl back into bed for another hour. So many missed calls and text notifications - I couldn’t even bother reading them. I just deleted them.

A knock on my office door steered my attention away from staring at the computer screen. It’s all I’ve been able to manage this morning. The feeling of dread in my stomach and the heaviness in my chest has stopped me from functioning. Actually, I think that would be my overused brain that has shut down and stopped me. The other two just seem to be an added bonus.

“Boss, I’m coming in,” Micah announced before the doorknob rattled for a minute and the door opened. The little shit picked the lock. He glared at me from the doorway. “Are you going to sit in here all day?”

“Yep.” I pushed a few keys on the keyboard to make out like I was busy on the computer.

Pushing his hair out of his eyes, Micah huffed a breath. “Look, I don’t know what’s going on. But you can’t hide out in here. We have a business to run and I have orders coming out of my ass. I need help.”

“‘Kay, be there in a sec.” I wouldn’t be. I haven’t quite finished my pity party.

The heat from his glare burned a hole in my head for a long moment before he stormed off. I tried to force myself out of the chair. It wasn’t very fruitful, and to be honest, I don’t think I really tried that hard. The thought of going out onto the shop floor made me want to throw up. What if people could see the humiliation still burning inside me? I really am pathetic. It’s not like I’m the first guy to have his heartbroken. Broken – ha! - more like shattered into a million pieces and with an audience of some of our closest friends.

It probably wouldn’t have been so bad if it had been by someone outside our circle of friends, but it was completely obliterated by Damon, the one person I’ve been pathetically in love with for my entire adult life. I’m not sure how many of them know, but Tommy and Doll definitely did. And obviously, Kelly.

“Where have you been?”

I lifted my eyes back to the doorway at the gruff, angry voice.

“Huh?”

“What the fuck, Coletrain?” Tommy came into my office, slamming the door behind him.

How long have I been sitting here? I didn’t even hear him arrive.

“What?” I stood up then shuffled some papers around my desk like I was looking for something, but Tommy isn’t an idiot. He slammed his hand down on the top of the papers in my hand, knocking them down to the desk.

“Where the hell have you been? I’ve been calling and calling. I went to your place and you weren’t there. I got so worried last night I even called your parents. Your dad said they hadn’t seen you. Now they’re worried too?” He said angrily, his eyes not once leaving mine.

“I was at my parents’ place, Tommy.”

“I knew your dad was lying,” He muttered quietly to himself, looking away from me.

The silence between us was uncomfortable and made me fidget. It shouldn’t have, though, since we’d been friends forever. If there is one person I should have been able to talk to, it should be Tommy, but everything right now just feels wrong. Like the world has been turned upside down. Glancing at my friend, I felt envious: he’s always so put together. Nothing ever seems to ruffle his feathers, but then again, I don’t think he’s ever even put himself in a situation to have his heart broken. That seems sad in itself.

Tommy comes from a cold family: they weren’t exactly evil or nasty people, just cold, and weren’t big on showing affection, love, or encouraging in any way. His folks were all business and societal graces. The Beaumonts were expected to act a certain way - appearances were everything. So was what they did, what they owned. My friend was forced into a business degree, when all he wanted to do was paint, or take photos. Art by any medium was Tommy’s thing when we were younger. That wasn’t acceptable to his family, so he did what was expected of him. His family is the one area of his life that will get a reaction - not usually one where he’ll act out either. He just becomes stoic and does what is expected, as always; he was raised that way.

They ‘allow’ Tommy to be gay, as long as it’s not in public, and they never have to talk about it. Can you imagine - ‘they will allow it.’ What a crock of shit. He comes from the type of family and money where you dress for a meal - I’m talking suits at the dinner table in their home, and the staff brings your food to you. I don’t think I’d last very long in that family. I mean breakfast was usually attended in a pair of sleep pants with no shirt when I was growing up.

“Damon’s gone.”

Okay, that has my attention - so does the knife sticking out of my heart right now. My eyes snapped up to meet Tommy’s. They were stinging like crazy. I will not cry like some tragic teenager.

“What do you mean gone? Damon ran?” Even to me, I could hear the clear desperation in my voice. I didn’t want it to be true.

Tommy crossed his arms over his chest, shaking his head. “No, he was sent on assignment. California.”

“How long?”

“He doesn’t know. Until whatever the situation is … is resolved.”

“Hmpf, you mean me!” I assumed, fucking coward.

Tommy shook his head again, his face softened. “No, Cole. He’s not staying away because of you. Damon tried to get in contact with you before he left. Some celebrity with a stalker, according to Kelly.”

“Fucking Kelly,” I mutter angrily to myself. Yep, I totally settled on pissed at the jolly asshat giant.

“What about Kelly?” Tommy asked, frowning.

Great, now I can’t even keep things in my head. Just fabulous.

“Nothing,” I said, waving him off.

“Don’t dismiss it, Cole. What about Kelly?” Tommy had a protective streak a mile long when it came to Damon and me.

“It doesn’t matter,” I answered, wrapping arms protectively around my body, looking anywhere but at my friend. The humiliation of the giant standing next to Damon laughing his ass off at my expense had left me seething.

“What.About.Kelly?” He asked again through gritted teeth.

All I could do is find a spot on the floor and stare at it.

“Cole, tell me?” Tommy snapped at me.

I blew out a breath. “Look, I feel humiliated enough already, Tommy. Mostly, what has made this all worse is watching him stand next to Damon laughing his ass off, while I stood there with my heart shattering into a million pieces.” I sighed. “God, I sound like a fourteen-year-old.”

“You kind of do.” He smiled warmly. “Kelly wasn’t laughing at you. I promise.”

He reached into his pocket, laying a business card down in front of me, keeping his finger on it. “It’s Friday, Cole. I’ll see you at the club tonight–”

A lump formed in my throat at the thought of facing all our friends. “I can’t, Tommy. I just can’t.”

“You can, and you will. The only people that know is you, me, Kelly, and Doll. And you know Doll would never say anything. Out of all our friends, Doll is the one I wouldn’t mind knowing my secrets. The man keeps them for a living, remember?” Tommy said, his finger still on the card. He poked at it before speaking. “You have an appointment at my salon at four. Do something about that hair before you come to the club. You’re too young for a midlife crisis and too old to be acting out. Plus, just looking at that pink mess gives me indigestion.” This time his smile was more of a smirk.

“I was going to keep it for a while.” I lied patting my hair gingerly.

He glared at me to show he wasn’t amused. Of course, I caved. He’d perfected that look over the years.

“Fine,” I huffed.

My friend turned toward the door glancing over his shoulder. “Don’t make me come looking for you.” He opened the door as he walked off, calling out. “Tonight, Cole.”

Great, I sat down heavily into the office chair, landing on the floor with the thing on its side next to me. “I hate you.” Damn chair.

Here ya go guys, I hope you enjoyed.
Thank you, Tony once again for your magic. 
Joh