Unexpected - 8. Chapter 8

I feel another kick to the guts. I need to keep my wits about me long enough to leave with my dignity intact. Everything is different. I’ve walked into a different world. Jase seems to be the guardian of Cory or is helping his mother out. Alex has a kid who calls him Daddy.

Benny leans toward me with his arms out.

“I want Poppy.”

I bring my arms up for him; he almost jumps into my embrace. Lucky catch, I think! I give him a cuddle and glare at Alex over his head.

“Poppy?”

“We’ve shown him pictures. He gets excited and screams ‘Poppy!’ at every photo with you in it. We try to correct him, but he won’t have it. You are ‘Poppy’ to him.”

“Oh!”

What else can I say? I’m holding precious cargo. All this change makes it really hard to stay grounded. The beautiful smell of this toddler is overpowering my senses. All of this new information is making my head spin. I need to get out of here. But no, here I sit. Time is silently ticking away. I ask myself the same two questions over and over in my mind. “Do I go or do I stay?” I know the truth though. No matter what happens, I can’t go. Callen is going to wake up – I know it. I take a deep breath to calm my anxiety. I hug Benny tighter to my chest as I settle in to get more comfortable. I look over and Alex is looking at me. Ugh! What a day. I need my brother to wake up.

What is that smell? Oh crap! I think it’s me. I can smell myself. I need a shower, a nap and other bathroom activities. Benny is asleep against my chest again – the lucky duck. I yawn and Jase looks over to me and smiles.

“I can’t believe you’re really here, Trace. We missed you so much!”

I give him an almost silent half chuckle, as if to say, ‘Yep, Uh-Huh! I believe you.’

He continues, “You’ve had a long day, with driving and the shock of all this. Why don’t you go home, grab a shower, food and a quick nap. I promise to call if anything changes.”

“I think I will. Thanks. I’ll text you my number. I only just got a phone.”

“Oh, Alex, Benny’s seat is in Tracy’s truck. Do you want me to grab it?” Jase asks Alex.

“Uh!…No, it’s fine. That’s the spare; I’ll grab it later.”

I stand, kiss Benny on the head and whisper goodnight in his ear. I hand him back gently, trying not to wake him.

“That is one awesome kid you have there.”

“I know it.” Alex smiles and gives him a kiss as he gently rocks Benny after he stirs.

After having a shower and other various bathroom routines, I finally slip into bed. Lying on my side; I close my eyes in an attempt to soothe my nerves. The past twenty four hours rushes to the forefront of my mind. I groan. I have to get my priorities straight. First thing is first, Callen. He is my main priority. Any other problem; drama, issue, confusion or headache plaguing me is secondary.

I will have to get Jase to catch me up. I will accept whatever has happened and move on. I’m here because of Callen. God, I miss him. Hopefully Father Paul will come by tomorrow. I need to find out how to pray. We need all the help we can get. I can feel the tears burning the back of my eyes. Trying to stop them seems pointless, so I cry myself to sleep.

 

As I wake up, I look at the familiar surroundings. It all comes flooding back to me. Callen is in a coma. Alex has a kid and Jase seems to be caring for Cory. I also remember the promise I made to myself. Priority One: Callen. Nothing else matters. Once he’s better I can go back to Pensacola.

I look at my clock. It says seven am. Shit! I slept through the night. I need to get back to the hospital. I clad myself in clean boxer briefs. Going to the kitchen, I hear talking. It sounds like Jase. As I walk around the corner, Cory nearly bowls me over.

“Sorry Uncle Tracy.”

“Yeah no problem kiddo,” I mumble while rubbing my shoulder. Damn kid should play football.

Why are all these people in our house? I enter the kitchen, Jase looks over to me. I indicate with my thumb, toward where Cory just went. Jase holds up his finger for me to hang on while he yells through the house to Cory.

“Come on Cory, you’ll miss the bus. Since you’re already on in-school suspension, I don’t think you really want to be late.”

Dear God, they could use him at the lighthouse. Keep the freakin’ ships away from the coast. I had to wring out my ears. I could hear Cory moving at a fast pace, mumbling to himself down the hallway. He came into the kitchen; they kissed each other on the cheek. Jase handed him a paper bag with his lunch.

“Thanks Dad, tell Daddy I miss him,” he disappears down the stairs and out the door.

My eyes must be the size of saucers. Jase looks at me and his eyes quickly dart away.

“Are we going to talk about what just happened? …..Jase?”

“It’s a long story. I have to be at the job site soon. Maybe it can wait.”

“Cliff notes version please.”

Jase sighs and rubs his left eye with his palm.

“As you know, your brother and I were seeing each other. Well, before Sasha destroyed everything.”

I nodded, “Sort of.”

“His firm had been helping me get Cory’s, Mothers estate in order. This included what would happen with Cory once she passed. Well unfortunately she didn’t make it to the final guardianship papers were to be signed. It was a mess. Instead of guardianship I had to foster him. So I went to Callen and he helped me. Thankfully I was able to foster Cory. During all of this Callen and I manage to get back on track. A couple of months ago we moved in here with Callen. We are petitioning for adoption of Cory together. Callen and Cory are really close. This accident hasn’t been easy for him. He’s not real happy with me making him go to school.”

Jase is putting food back into the refrigerator, he seems kind of rattled. He had his back to me and I saw his shoulders shaking. I move around the breakfast counter and hold him in my arms. How can I stay mad at him when he is hurting so badly? But like I promised myself last night; Callen is the only thing that matters. Jase matters to Callen. I will be going back to Pensacola so it really isn’t my business. Turning him around to face me, he tucks his head in my neck and weeps. Jase has his arms around me clawing at my back. Our knees give way and we sink to the floor while we comfort each other.

“Are you going to be ok?” I ask him softly.

“I can’t live without him Trace. He’s my – everything. I don’t know that Cory will survive a third loss.”

Jase leans back to look me in the eye.

“We are so in love, you know. I have never felt this way about anybody before. With you back, he is definitely going to wake up. I’m sure of it.”

I gather him into another hug, closing my eyes and wishing for Callen to wake up. I can feel a little arm slide around my neck and two little feet stand on my leg. Opening my eyes, there is a mess of brown hair resting on my arm. Breaking the hug, I pull Benny to sit down in my lap.

“Why you make Poppy, cry, Unca Jase?”

This makes both me and Jase giggle while we dry our eyes.

“I didn’t Benny, we are sad about Uncle Cal.”

“Me too,” he says nuzzling into my chest.

I wrap my arms around him, giving him a kiss on the head. The front security door opens and snaps shut. I hear the familiar gate stomp up the stairs. Alex. The things you remember huh!

Alex takes a look at us and shakes his head. He assists Jase and I to our feet one at a time.

“Come on you three. Up you get. Callen’s going to be fine. There is no change in his condition as of this morning.”

He takes Benny from me. I walk over and fill the kettle and start making coffees.

“So what’s the plan for today?”

I’m trying my best to be friendly. Guess I can’t blame them for not acknowledging any wrong doing on their part. I’ve been gone a long time. Their lives have moved on. All I have done for a year is stew on what happened. I must appear a little bitter, but I had my happiness ripped away from me for no reason.

“I have to go into the office; there are a few orders that need to be checked on. Once I’ve done that I’ll go to the hospital. I think the boss here should probably go home and get some sleep.”

“Benny, should probably go to school. Then I’ll go home and try to have a nap for a few hours.”

“Sit down. I’ll bring the coffee over when it’s ready.”

Jase and Alex, step over and sit at the dining table. They talk about work orders or something to that effect. I finish the coffees and make a small bowl of cereal for Benny.

“I’m off to the hospital this morning to sit with Cal. Would you like me to drop Benny at school on my way.”

“Um! No.”

My heart sinks; I stay silent looking into my coffee.

“You won’t be able to. I’ll take him this morning and make sure they update their list. Then you will be able to drop him off and pick him up.”

That put a smile on my face. I don’t mind if Benny is my only friend.

“Thanks Chewy.”

Alex has hurt written all over his face. Finishing the last of my coffee, I head to get ready for the day.

<>-<>-<>

I show the nurse my visitor badge. Nurse Luke is standing at the nurse’s station. When he sees me he commences quickly in my direction. He grabs my arm, pulling me toward Callen’s room. My heart is going a million miles a minute; along with my head. What’s wrong? Is he gone? Has something bad happened? Oh! No. This isn’t good.

“I was just calling you,” he manner all serious.

I rush through the door and notice the life support machines are no longer hooked up to Callen. Fuck! I erupt into tears, sinking to the floor. Nurse Luke lifts me to my feet.

“Callen was fighting the breathing tube this morning. He is breathing On. His. Own.”

He smiles at me, rubbing my back. I look at him, then at Callen. I ought to punch Luke in the face. He scared the crap out of me. I thought something bad had happened. The moment is fleeting, I take hold of his hand.

“Thank you, thank you, thank you.”

Tears are streaming down my face as I go to Callen. I take his hand and kiss it, then rub it across my cheek.

“Now all we need you to do is wake up Brother.”

I sit in the chair next to the bed, holding his hand willing him to wake up. I pull my phone out and text the guys.

To: Jase, Alex, Cory

Message: Callen breathing on his own. Off life support.

Send.

I sit back in the chair trying to imagine him awake. He has to wake up now, surely. Nurse Luke came into the room.

“If there are no setbacks in the next twenty four hours, he will move out of the ICU. Then it will be easier for all of you to visit at the same time. He will still be in high care, only the rules regarding visitors will be less restrictive. You’ll be able to bring that cutie petutie into his room without sneaking him in.”

I smile, thinking about Benny.

“That’s Benny. He calls me Poppy, no reason at all. He just decided for himself I’m his Poppy. I’ve known him for less than forty eight hours and he loves me.” I chuckle to myself mumbling, “He calls me Poppy.”

“Oh, I thought you knew these guys.”

“I do, we all used to be friends.”

“Used to be?”

“Sorry, I shouldn’t bore you with our baggage.”

“You’re not. I just went off of shift. You all seem close, but you’re not? You can see the closeness in you all.”

I tell Luke about how our friendships were destroyed and why I took off. After talking with him for a while I really do feel like I ran away. Now I’m going to have to figure a way to fix this. It won’t be easy, I’m still quite angry. Hopefully they will forgive me for my part. I’m not sure why I think it’s my responsibility to make amends. At the time I didn’t know any other way to deal. I only meant to leave for a couple of weeks but fate intervened.

“Um.. Luke, did you want to get coffee sometime, with me?”

He hesitates for a second, nods his head and looks me in the eye.

“Sure. That sounds great. How about Saturday, I get off at ten am?”

“It’s a date.”

He smiles at me, squeezes my hand and leaves the room. I can still feel the warmth of his hand on mine. Yay, I have a date with cute Luke. Thinking about what Luke said made me go over the last twelve months.

I’d left home for Wherever. Well Wherever, turned out to be closer than I thought. I stopped at Pensacola for a rest and something to eat on my first day of driving. I went to the local sport bar to get food and a drink. I left my new best friend Ace with the windows cracked and some water. I overheard the guys next to me having a heated discussion about the ‘useless fucks’ he had working for him. I introduced myself and told him I was looking for work. It turns out the upset fellow was a builder. Looking me up and down, he took a card out of his pocket and wrote down an address, then tossed it my direction.

“Be at that address tomorrow, six am. Don’t be late. If you are; don’t bother showing up. Make sure you have work boots and sensible clothes. You got yourself a one day trial. If you fuck up, you’ll be walking.”

I thanked him and went back to my food. After I paid my bill, I went off in search for proper work-boots and clothes for construction work. It didn’t seem smart to skimp on the quality. I didn’t want the boss to think I was going to be another useless laborer. When I showed up the next morning he looked me up and down, smiled and sent me off with a guy named Bull. At the end of the day, the boss handed me an envelope.

“There’s a bonus in there for today. Report to the office in the morning and bring all of your information to get on payroll. You have yourself a job. Don’t fuck it up.” I went home and soaked in the tub, until the water went cold. I ached……; well there wasn’t a part of my body that didn’t.

I have worked there ever since.

I strike up a one sided conversation with Cal. He seems interested, but he doesn’t say much. Ha, Ha. A text came back from Alex. ‘Thank God.’ I sit here chatting away to Callen and Jase come flying through the door. He stood there, put his hands over his mouth and cries. Tears of happiness, I assume. ‘This is great. I can’t believe it.’ He said it over and over again. Jase finally settles himself the opposite side of the bed.

I received another text from Alex. ‘Benny at school, have updated the pickup/drop-off list. You are now able to do so.’ I reply, ‘Thanks’

This is turning into a good day. All I need now is for Callen to wake up. I told Jase about Callen changing rooms if there are no setbacks. I also mention my coffee date with Cute Luke. Apparently, Jase also thinks he’s cute and congratulates me. We sit in silence for a long time. Unfortunately this gives me time to think about the last time I had seen Jase or Alex.

Poor old ‘Trusty Rusty’. It had been about 5 months after I had left home, there was a minor disagreement at a four way stop. The insurance company wouldn’t fix him as the repairs cost more than he was worth so I eventually got a payout of $800. This was almost amusing to me; the insurance itself cost nearly the same amount. I hadn’t bothered replacing him because I didn’t need my own transportation at the time. It was an added expense I could live without.

When the boss told me about Callen, I was unable to get a flight. I rang the account firm handling the trust to get money for a cheap used truck. They organised a brand new truck and phone for me to pick up within the hour. I don’t know how they did it but they managed. The fellow looking after our account also assured me he would also sort all of the hospital hoopla for me. I had also let my phone plan go. No one had contacted me, and I was still angry so I turned it off after a few weeks.

 

I had found a tiny one bedroom apartment. It was close to work with a short lease. It was convenient for me to walk to and from work, since I had no transport. Ace loved the walk to and from. The boss had been great letting Ace hang around as long as he didn’t get in the way.

I kept telling myself, “It’s a new start.” Even I knew deep down it was hiding. We all try and kid ourselves at one time or another.

This morning I walk on site, make my way to where the workers are gathered near the office. Ace toddled off to his water bowl under his tree. The Boss stood on the first step of the temporary office.

“Ok you lot, the Owner of the construction company is coming to the site –Today. We can’t afford any fuck ups. Make sure you do what you’re supposed to do.”

“Why is the owner coming Boss?” Asked Bull.

“Let me worry about that, you do your job and we shouldn’t have any issues. Then we can all keep our jobs. How ‘bout that? Alright ya useless bastards get to work and remember – Don’t. Fuck. Up.”

Everyone dispersed to what they had to do. The Boss caught up with me and Bull.

“Guys, the dry wall is finished. I need you two to put up the stair case railing first thing. Make sure it is solidly set; we don’t need a law suit. Great job by the way Tracy. I’ll talk to the Owner today to see how we pay you. You may need to submit an invoice, I’m not sure.” I nodded.

The original stair railing was flimsy and made poorly by a local manufacturer. The stair case went between the foyer and the second floor; it was the focal point of the foyer. It had been made by sub-par materials. When Bull and I went to set it in the first place, the weakness began to show in the metal used. With any pressure, the railing would have bent and gave way. Bull pointed this out to the Boss. Let’s just say I wouldn’t like to have been the receptionist who answered that phone call. And that was the polite part of his conversation.

Once he had finished berating every man and his dog. I showed him some of my work on the net; he had me get right to work on a new one. I enjoyed doing wrought iron work again. Not having everything I needed made it a little difficult. But necessity is the mother of all invention. I think I put the whole stair case together with homemade jigs. It made me miss home and think about my brother. Maybe I should call him, make sure he’s ok. I can’t imagine he is too happy with me taking off.

Then again, he hadn’t called either

Anyway, Bull and I went to fix and set the new railing. We are about half way through when the lunch truck horn went off. Putting our tools down, we went out the front doors to get lunch. From a distance I could see the Boss showing a couple of guys around the site. Their backs were to us, but anyone could tell discussion was intense. The three of them disappeared through the side door.

I went off and sat under the tree with Ace. I sit alone most days. I like the solitude; no-one can lie, betray or hurt me if I’m alone. I haven’t made any friends since I arrived, the only person I really speak to is Bull. And that’s usually about work. Bull is a huge guy in his 50’s, married with seven children. He’s really laid back, nothing seems to bother him. I guess if you do your work, you’re ok by him. He has tried to ask me personal questions a couple of times, but I just turn the conversation back to him. With seven children, he is never short of a story or gripe.

I filled up Aces water, threw my trash away and went back to work. Bull followed me through to our work area. While I held the railing in place for him; he starts with the questions.

“What are you doing for Thanksgiving?”

“I forgot it was next week, I haven’t even given it a thought.”

“Do you think you’ll go back home for the four day weekend?”

I snort and reply, “Not fuckin’ likely.”

Bull is silent for a few minutes.

“You can always come and join the family; if you find you have no-where to be.”

“Thanks, I’ll think about it and let you know.”

One of the dry wall fellows walked by and said, “The boss wants you two in the office.”

I look at Bull, he shrugs and we tools down.

“What do you reckon they want with us?” I say nervously.

“Not sure.” Bull didn’t look to confident himself.

The boss and the owners had their backs to us as we approached.

“Boss, you wanted to see us?”

They turned around, and the Boss went to introduce us.

“Gentlemen, this is the owner…….”

“Tracy!” Alex exclaimed.

“Sir.” I said calmly. I crossed my arms in a defensive stance. Shit! Fuck! Hell! I felt like I was going to lose my lunch. I have no idea how I held it together. Bull and the owner are looking at me with cocked eyebrows. I turned to the other man and said “Hello, Jason, how are you?”

“Umm……g..good I guess.” He said looking at Alex, with a cocked eyebrow.

“Glad to hear it. Was there anything else Sir?”

“Oh, um, yes. Great job on the staircase railing. If you submit an invoice for your time and materials the funds will be included in your next pay.”

“Very well, we need to get back and finish securing the railing.” I turned abruptly, walking back to the work area. I could hear the Boss making excuses for my behaviour and Alex appeasing him it was fine.

Bull was on my heels, “What the hell was that back there?”

I just looked at him sideways.

“How do you know the owner?”

“He is my brother’s best friend.”

“The little guy how do you know him?”

“We used to be friends.”

“I’ll take a wild stab and say you ran away from home.” Bull has stopped working and is now looking at me with the intent of a father.

“You don’t run away when you’re 23 years old, you simply leave.”

“Runnin’ is runnin’ son; at any age.”

“I’m not running!” I say getting agitating, putting down my gloves and taking a drink of water.

“Ok why’d ya leave?”

Silence from my end. Why does everyone need to know my business?

“What are you runnin’ from?”

“Betrayal!”

<>-<>-<>

They moved Callen to the high care ward after the twenty four hour period.

He is still in a coma, it’s been three very long weeks. Between myself, Alex and Jase; there is always someone looking after the kids and one of us sitting with Callen.

I went out with Luke three or four times, but we are very different. He likes to party, I prefer a steadier balanced lifestyle. We still say hello, and have a chat if we see each other.

 

The guys are at their hockey final so I have the boys. I have been sitting with Callen, Benny and Cory all morning. Benny is on the floor next to me, coloring. Cory is on the other side of Callen doing his homework. I am currently reflecting on my relationship with Jase. We have managed to mend the fences so to speak. It wasn’t like before, but it is better than when I first come home. I didn’t really have a choice considering we were in the same house. It also didn’t hurt Cory lives in the same house. I would never say anything in front of him.

Alex, well we are a little more complicated. We bond mostly over Benny. He is my little man, we have a connection. I’m his favourite person and he is mine. Alex has been good about letting us have our time together. It’s fun to watch Benny in a crowd. He will push every single person out of the way until he reaches me. He is so awesome, smart and absolutely adorable. He makes my heart melt.

There hasn’t been too much movement on the friendship with Alex. We are polite; too polite it’s almost fake. I think we may have hurt each other too much to recover. I keep trying; I don’t think I’m ready to give up yet. At the very least, I want my friend back. It’s not like I could have more. About a month before I came home, I started dating Bobby. We were very casual, I had even told him about cute Luke. After me telling him about Luke, he showed a little more interested in us. And as far as I know Alex is still dating a pilot.

Bobby was a policeman; we met when he gave me a ticket for not having Ace on a leash in public. We would get together and have dinner, or do stuff together on the weekend. He has been ringing me often now to see how things were going. He was even planning a trip down to Fort Myers when he could string four days off.

Unfortunately, Alex still gives me butterflies. I can’t help it. I try to keep my distance because I’m sure he doesn’t feel the same. Plus he is quite cold with me. Benny has babysat me a couple of times while Alex had a date. It kind of hurts, but it’s not like I have a claim on him. I think what makes it harder is that we have been together physically. Alex had been right about those promises we made to each other. We shouldn’t have broken them. I didn’t regret it at the time. Boy! Do I regret it now. It would be easier to get over him if we hadn’t – I think.

“Uncle Tracy?” Cory asks looking at me weird.

“What’s up?”

“You said my name, I thought you wanted me.”

“I didn’t say your name.”

“Cory,” a gravelly voice said.

We looked over and Callen’s eyes are squinting, he’s also trying to lift his hand up to Cory.

“SHIT! Get the doctor Cory, quick.”

I lean over the bed and kiss my brother right on the lips. The insides of my body are jumping for joy. I can’t believe this. I cry.

“Your awake, oh my……, your awake.”

“Trace,” he whispered. He slowly lifts his hand up to touch my face. “You’re here.”

Callen had a kind of half smile.

“Where’s Jase?”

“He’ll be here shortly, don’t worry.”

The doctor come in with three nurses, they kick us out back to the waiting room. We are desperately waiting to be let back in. Cory and I try to get hold of the guys, but no luck. I look up the ice rink on my phone for the direct number, but the doctor came to us.

“Wonderful news for your family. It’s feels great to give good news for a change. We are doing some bloodwork; and then we’ll be sending him for tests. It will be a while before you are able to see him. He’s asking for Jase?”

“He’ll be here in about an hour. How long before we can see him?” I ask; pushing Cory toward the doctor I continue, “Can his son go in and see him before we leave?”

“Yes, but it will have to be quick. You should go home get some rest and come back in. It will be at least a couple of hours. I’ll let him know Jase is on the way.” Yeah! Right! There is no way any of us are getting any rest.

As Cory is about to go with the doctor, he turns around and hugs me tight whispering thank you.

After Cory saw Callen, instead of calling the rink, I shuffle the boys in the truck and we drive over. Benny fell asleep on the way, so I have him in my arms as we enter the rink. I tell the lady at the entrance why we are here. She is so excited, we are ushered through without paying.

I steer us toward the home bench. Dom saw us, he calls time on the game and points in our direction. Jase, Alex and Dom flew over to where we are standing. Three sets of eyes looking at us in anticipation of good news. Cory was first to speak; his voice hitches with emotion.

“Dad, Daddy is awake, he woke up.” His shoulders shake as he sobs.

Jase jumps the barrier; he is hugging Cory so tight. I have tears streaming down my face. Alex and Dom, were screaming, high-fiving each other. The buggers wake Benny up. They glide off skating every which way, telling any player that will listen. Even the ref’s show their happiness with the news. I was trying to calm Benny down after they had frightened him.

Alex come screaming over to us, he kisses Benny. He then grabs me by the back of the neck, pulls me to him and plant one right on my lips. When he broke it, I step back, smile and touch my lips. I hear Alex in his excitement say “Yes! About time!” He is obviously talking about Callen.

<>-<>-<>

We are all at Chili’s celebrating Callen waking up. The hospital had kicked us out, Callen needed his rest. Our argument was he had already rested for a month. They wouldn’t have it, told us to come back tomorrow.

The conversation is lively and fun, it is almost like old times. Jase explains more about getting Cory. Cory helps the story along, this is the happiest I’ve seen the kid. He is animated, laughing and joining in with the fun.

Alex and I order coffees; Benny climbs on me and straddles my lap with his head on my chest. His eyes are slowly getting heavier. My poor little man, I hug him to me. The night’s excitement has caught up with him. Its nine o’clock way passed his bed time. Jase and Cory have just made their excuses for the evening and left me here alone with Alex. Mongrels will pay for that later.

We talk general chit-chat. I told him about Robby, he told me about his pilot ‘friend’. I glance over what I had been up to for the past year. I couldn’t help myself, I needed to know. I finally ask how he got Benny.

It seems his sister Andrea had fallen in with a bad crowd and was into drugs and partying. She came good and gave up her ways when she found out she was pregnant. Everything seemed like it was going well, until one night their Mother went over to see her and Benny. He was on his own in his cot, wet, soiled and screaming. His sister was no-where to be found. Their Mother took Benny home. She tried to get hold of her by phone. She rang everyone she could think of. When she was at her wits end, a knock came from the front door. Opening the door, it was the police, to notify her Andrea had died from an overdose.

Andrea had sense enough to leave a will. “Probably the only good thing that woman ever did,” Alex ranted. She had left Benny to Alex. He had a hell of a time fighting the family in court. Callen had the best from his firm represent him up in Durham, NC. His family tried everything from him being gay to living in Florida to stop the will. Nothing worked and he was finally able to bring him home.

This had all started, the week he stopped calling me. His attorneys advised he turn his phone off, and leave it off so they could capture the family in their harassment. It must have been a hell of a time for him. I can’t help thinking I could have supported him through all of this. Anyhow, it worked, it showed the families true form to the court. He got to keep Benny, and take him back to Florida. Alex seems more than happy about the arrangement.

I carried Benny out to Alex’s truck and put him in his seat.

“You seem angry with me, why is that?” I asked him.

“Tracy, you left. You didn’t tell anyone where you were going you just went. When I finally found you, you called me sir and walked away. Since you’ve been back you only call me Chewy. The whole thing just hurts.”

“Hurts, you don’t know what hurt is. How about the deafening silence from the three people I loved most in the world. I tried with all of you. I had done nothing wrong to any of you. I had my happiness ripped away from me. None of you would talk to me and no-one really seemed to care. I had no idea what was going on. I felt isolated, betrayed and so very alone. What would you have done?

Why didn’t you return my calls? Better yet let me know what was going on. You know Callen wouldn’t tell me, his lawyer’s oath and loyalty crap. Don’t you think I would have supported you through it all? Did you not trust or love me enough to help raise Benny? Or was Sasha right and you really are in love with Callen?

It’s all water under the bridge now, we are, where we are. You’re dating some pilot, me, as soon as Callen is home I’ll go back to Pensacola. I have a job and Robby, it’s not the same but it will do.”

‘Well I at least have Benny, he loves me,’ I thought myself

Tears are ready to let loose. Holding them back has given me a lump in my throat so painful it could pass for the mumps. I say goodnight to Alex before he can say another word. He grabs my arm and folds me into a hug and kisses the top of my head.

“Please don’t go back to Pensacola. Everything will turn out as it should. You’ll see.” His voice hitches a little.

I untangle myself and make my way over to my truck. As I turn it over to heat up the motor, I can still feel the warmth of his body against mine. I miss that feeling. I can only hope he’s right. I sadly put the truck in gear and point the wheels toward home. God, everything is a mess.

There is some good. I have my brother back. I love my brother, even when I’m angry with him.