Unexpected - 7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

It’s been nearly a year since I have set foot in Fort Myers, FL.

The memory of leaving here feels like a lifetime ago.

I spoke with Alex after the incident with Sasha every day on the phone for about a week. It was awkward, strained and we mostly made small talk. He didn’t really mention the venom Sasha had spewed. I didn’t hear from him at all during the following week. I tried to ask Callen what was going on with Alex, but he was evasive and wouldn’t give me any information. I tried to call Alex a couple of times after that, but his phone had been turned off. I left messages, but they were unreturned. I cried myself to sleep every night.

I drove by his house a couple of times, like a damn stalker. From the mail piling up in his letter box, I’d realised he hadn’t been there. Heartbroken, I made my way home.

How could someone treat another that way? I felt used, betrayed, broken-hearted and so alone. I missed my Mom every day, but this was the first time in a long time that I desperately wanted her. One of her hugs would have helped some of the hurt go away.

Jase wouldn’t talk to me at all. I had called him and popped a few hand written notes in his mailbox, hoping he would contact me. As far as I was aware, he hadn’t spoken with Callen either. I wasn’t sure how to fix this giant colossal mess. I didn’t do anything wrong, but somehow I felt guilty. Surely there would be a way to set it all right.

Callen and I had a small falling out about how he publicly denied his relationship, leaving my friend humiliated and heartbroken. I regretted being harsh with Cal, so I apologised.

I asked him about Alex being in love with him. He admitted he had always known, but had never felt the same about Alex. They were best friends and that was all. Callen swore he didn’t know his best friend had been in love with him past high school. He tried to assure me that Alex did care about me. What Sasha spouted was more to hurt Alex and me, and not the actual truth. It was a bit hard to believe since his actions hadn’t reassured me of a single damn thing.

There was also the issue of his orientation and him hiding it from me, telling me it was none of my business. Wasn’t he the one who said he wanted the opportunity for us to get to know each other as adults and brothers? Wouldn’t you think “I’m gay, Tracy,” would have been a great place to start? He was barely civil to me after that argument.

I felt betrayed, unwanted, unloved, used and very, very alone. My heart was broken; I had to get out of there. I couldn’t stand the silence or the emotions running through me. It was all too much. I packed a suitcase for two weeks away and set off on the road, heading toward – wherever.

I had no intention of being gone this long, but I guess I was angry.

It is late evening as I run into Lee Memorial Hospital, nearly knocking over an elderly couple. I make sure they are stable, on their feet and not hurt. I apologize, but keep running to the first receptionist I can find.

“My brother is here, Callen Johnson. Where do I go? He was in a car accident.” I am nearly out of breath.

“Um…I’ll look it up for you. OK, he is in ICU. Take the elevator bank to your left and follow the signs to ICU. You’ll have to check in at the Nurse’s Station.”

Exiting the elevator, the station is directly ahead of me.

“I need to see my brother, Callen Johnson.”

“I’m sorry, sir, he already has someone with him and it’s one visitor at a time and only next of kin.”

“I AM HIS BROTHER.” I start panicking. “We don’t have any other family! Who is in with him?”

“Please take a seat. I’ll have someone come and talk with you.”

As soon as my ass hits the chair, I start sobbing. I put my head in my hands, trying to get control of myself. What have I done? If he doesn’t make it, I’ll never forgive myself. I’ve been petty and spiteful. I’ve been gone nearly a year, with no contact, because I can’t get over it. I love my brother so much; I can’t believe this is happening. He’s all alone thinking no one loves him. Fuck! I’m selfish.

I feel a hand on my shoulder, pulling me toward him. I turn, putting my head and hands into his chest. A pair of arms holds me, rocking me and trying to soothe my heart.

I pull back from the support given by a young male nurse. I stand up and apologize; he smiles at me sympathetically.

“I’m Nurse Saunders; you can call me Luke. Your brother was in an auto accident. He received minor abrasions throughout his body from the impact of the air bag and compression damage from the seat belt, but sustained a more serious injury to his head. I’m not a doctor, but what I’m about to tell you is a general overview of the head injury. He is currently on life support. Now that is no reason to lose hope. The good news is, while he is in the coma, his brain will have time to rest and let the swelling go down. As this happens, the expectation is he starts breathing on his own again and awakens from the coma.”

I lose it again; the poor nurse sits with me while I cry. Once I’ve calmed down, he says, “There is another gentleman in his room at the moment. He’s asleep, and has been here all last night and all day today. I didn’t want to wake him. I can’t let you in while he’s in there.” He looks around and whispers to me. “Do you know anyone in high places, who could contact the Chief of Medicine to make an allowance for close family?”

“After my parents were killed, my brother made me see a Dr. Simms.”

“From Duke?” Luke chuckles. “I’ll make that call for you. Dr Simms is the Chief’s sister-in-law. Wait here, and I’ll see what I can do.”

I sit down, nope that won’t do it. I stand, go to walk over to the nurse’s station. No, I can’t do that either. He said to wait here. I am now pacing, pacing, pacing. I sit back down. Where the hell is this Nurse Luke guy? I rest my head in my hands, then on my knees. I want to pray but have no idea where to start. If only we had been forced to attend church as kids. CHURCH!! Father Paul!!!!

I whip out my phone, run through the contact list until I find the one for the fair.

“Father Paul speaking….”

I cut him off.

“Father, it’s Tracy Johnson from the fair.”

“Ah yes, Tracy, it’s been a long time. Is everything OK? You don’t sound good.”

The tears start falling. I’m trying to hold it together, but to no avail. I can’t do it.

“No, Father, my brother Callen has been in a car accident and is on life support. I don’t know…don’t know how to pray.” I sob into the phone. “Please, please – you have to help me. I can’t lose him.”

I can feel the phone being taken from my hand.

o “Nurse Luke, who is this please?”

o “Oh, Father, yes – ICU, Lee Memorial.”

o “I’ll leave a note at the nurse’s station.”

There is silence on Luke’s end for a couple of minutes. His face morphs into three different emotions, consecutively. I look back at the ground as soon as I recognise pity, even though he tries to hide it.

o “Yes, I’ll take very good care of him.”

o “OK, Father, I’ll see you then.”

“Tracy! Tracy! Tracy! I need you to look at me, hon.”

I look up at him; I’m defeated. I don’t know what to do. I think I’ve finally lost everything. This has to be the worst time of my life. I’m not sure I can make it without Callen. I know I just went a year without him in my life. But he was still there. If I wanted to, I could get in touch with him or go see him. Life, where he isn’t here anymore, is too much to bear.

Luke is talking to me, but I have no idea what he is saying. He pulls me off the chair and walks me through the doors next to the nurse’s station. We walk down a corridor with rooms only to the right. He sits me in a chair, hands me my cell phone, then walks off. I just sit here. The nurse looks at me sympathetically from behind her desk. What does she know that I don’t? Is it worse than Luke said?

He has finally come back, wheeling some kind of chair with him. Going into the room to my right, he eventually pops his head out and motions for me to come in. Once inside, he guides me toward the chair he brought.

I look over. Oh. My. God. He looks...he doesn’t look...that can’t be him. He’s bruised all over, with bandages sporadically spread over his skin from the glass, I assume. There are tubes running every which way and the sound of the life support is whirring. My head is fuzzy. I see black spots before my eyes. That’s all she wrote folks. I faint, thankfully right into the chair.

As I come to, I can see Jase, asleep in the other chair. The poor thing has black circles under his eyes, and looks like he hasn’t shaved since this happened. Callen! Shit! When I look over toward him, the sobbing unfortunately commences. I seem to have an endless supply of tears. I grab his hand and kiss it, then rub my cheek against it while I look into his swollen and bruised, sleeping face.

“I’m so sorry, Cal. I’m so sorry.” I’m whimpering. “Please don’t leave me! I need you. I’m begging you to come back. I love you so much. Please, you’re all I have.” My breathe catches, waking up Jase.

“Tracy, is that you?” His voice is sleepy, course and thick. He lifts out of his chair, coming around to me and dropping to his knees. Then he grabs me in the tightest hug I have ever experienced. We are now sobbing in unison, his head in my lap with my head bent over top, resting on his. He hugs my knees while I rub his back with one hand, the other stroking his hair.

Luke walks back into the room and leaves a blanket, glass of water and Tylenol for me. I don’t hear him come in or out of the room. Jeez, that guy is good at his job.

Once we have calmed down, Jase looks up at me, grabs both sides of my face and gives me a chaste kiss.

“I’m so glad you’ve come. I was frightened you were still too angry.”

“I can’t lose him, Jase. He’s all I have in this world.”

“I know. Trust me, I know. He has missed you something awful.”

“Jeez, Jase, you look terrible. When was your last meal, proper sleep or shower for that matter?”

He looks at me sheepishly. “Um…to be honest, I don’t know. I’m too scared to leave.”

“Jase, go home, have a shower. Make yourself something to eat, then have at least two hours sleep. That’s all I ask. I’ll be here – I’m not going anywhere. I’ll call if anything changes.”

He looks at his watch, bites his lip, checks Cal and says, “OK. I should probably go. I need to take Cory to school as well.”

“Cory, Cory Peters?”

“Oh, yeah. Um…a lot has changed in a year Trace. I’ll fill you in when I get back. You will call if anything changes, won’t you?” He glares at me warningly.

“You know I will. When have you ever known me to be cruel?”

“Well, you left! That hurt.”

My demeanor changes. “Yeah, well, not as much as the reason for leaving in the first place.”

I try to change the temperature of the conversation. “Did you drive here?”

“No. Actually, I’ll have to catch a cab.”

“Could you do me a favor?” I hand him my keys. “Take my truck; it’s a black Dodge Ram 1500. It has a dog cage in the bed. Ace is friendly. Could you please stash him somewhere with shelter and water? His leash is in the glove box. Don’t worry; he’s friendly. Give him a piece of doggy chocolate, and he’ll show you where all the bodies are buried.” I sadly chuckle. “He’s a little big, so don’t be frightened. Also, he tends to get excited, but just pat him. You’ll have a friend for life.”

“Ok.” Jase looks a little scared. “What do you want me to do with your truck?”

“Use it. Bring it back with you. Then I’ll go find a place to stay, shave, shower and rest for a few.”

“Thanks, Tracy.” He leans over Callen to kiss him and squeeze his hand. I swear I hear him say, “I love you, Cal.” And he’s gone before I can say anything.

I hold Callen’s hand, rest my cheek on it and close my eyes. I don’t know how long I was out. I feel my shoulder shaking.

“Tracy, are you awake?” I look up. Nurse Luke is standing over me. “I need you to move for a few minutes. We need to take his vitals. The physio will be in shortly to keep his joints moving and give a bath. Why don’t you go down to the cafeteria to grab some lunch. You missed Father Paul, by the way. He came through and anointed Callen for healing. He said he’ll be back sometime tomorrow to see you.”

“I think I will go grab something. Will they page me if anything happens?” I was worried.

“Probably not. Give me your cell number and if anything changes, I’ll alert you. I’m about to go off of duty and Nurse Marney will be taking over. I’ll let her know our deal. She’s pretty awesome, so I can’t see a problem.”

“Thanks.” I wander down the corridor back to the elevator bank, stopping at the nurse’s station. She gives me a visitors pass for the ICU, which Luke had arranged, and advises me to wear it at all times while in the hospital.

After eating the ever so delicious hospital cafeteria food, I make my way back up to the ICU. Just as I sit down, Jase comes almost-running into the room, out of breath, and hands me a toddler.

“Sorry, Trace; this is Benny. Could you please watch him for about twenty minutes? May I borrow your truck again? The school called. I have to pick up Cory because he’s been suspended for fighting, of all things.”

“Of course! Go ahead.” As Jase bolts out the door, I say, “Who’s Benny?” I don’t think he heard me because he was gone.

“Where Unca Jase gone?”

I move the chair so Benny can’t see Callen. I sit Benny facing me in my lap, so we can chat.

Marney walks in.

“Tracy, right?” I nod. “Try to keep this cute one quiet. Otherwise you’ll have to take him back out to the ICU waiting area.” I nod again.

I look at Benny, trying to work out who he belongs to. He called Jase, Uncle, so he can’t be his, unless one of his family members handed him over.

Benny is a ton of fun. He takes my mind off of why I am sitting here. We sing itsy bitsy spider together. He does all the actions – soooooo cute. I start telling him the story of Red Riding Hood, the light version. I don’t want to frighten the kid with bad, scary wolves. He falls asleep against my shoulder, then so do I.

Something rouses me from my sleep. I turn my head to discover Jase and Cory both taking pictures of me and Benny. I smile, and they sit down.

I cover Benny’s ears before talking. “Nice to see you again, Cory.”

“You too, Uncle Tracy. Will you be staying now?”

“Well, I’m here at least until Cal fully recovers. I haven’t thought much past that.”

I really don’t want to talk about this. Changing the subject seems the way to go. Benny starts to stir and wake up. He rubs his eyes, looking over at Jase, but then buries his head back in my chest. This kid is adorable. I wrap my arms around him and gently rub his head, while he lays there. Jase smiles over to me.

“Where’d you put Ace?”

“How freakin’ big is that dog? I stashed him at your place. I put him behind the gate with your lathe and mitre saw.” He passes over the keys.

“Thanks.” I think back to the day I got Ace.

It was the first day I left home. Driving up the interstate, I saw a car pull to side and slow down. They threw a sack out the window. I pulled up, hoping it wasn’t what I thought it was. Sure enough, it was full of puppies. There were eight of them in there. I took the next exit to Sarasota and found a Vet Clinic.

The animal doctor checked over the puppies. He told me they were part St. Bernard and some type of hound. I asked if he could find them a home. He assured me he would take care of them and do his best. I couldn’t ask for more than that. One of the puppies kept wandering over to me. I picked him up and told the doctor I wanted to keep this one. He vaccinated him, then I purchased a leash and some food. I was soon on the road again with my little dependant.

The dog became a freakin’ menace; he took a lot of training. But I loved him. I called him ‘Menace,’ but shortened it to ‘Ace.’ It worked better in public places. Calling him ‘Menace’ tended to make people scared of him, but when I called him Ace, he got a completely different reaction. Perception is everything, I suppose.

I want to ask Jase about Cory, but he is sitting right here with us. It would be inappropriate. I still don’t know who this adorable little pile in my lap belongs to. As I start to ask, Alex walks through the door.

Benny jumps up with his arms excitedly in the air. “Daddy!”

Alex picks up the toddler, kisses his cheek and sweeps his hair back.

What the FUCK is going on?