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Stories posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 

Hell’s Vengeance: The Incubus - 1. Chapter 1

WARNING: Discussion of rape and murder occur in this story. Reader discretion is advised.

“Oh, Eddie, Eddie, Eddie…,” I said in a sing-song voice. “I’m not going to rape you, my dear boy. I got something worse in mind for you.”

When Edward “Eddie” Olsen finally walked in through the front door, I knew my plans had come to fruition. Weeks I’d spent prepping for this encounter, ever since I drove into town, and stopped at the Starbucks this little asshole managed. I smelled the guilt on him. It was overpowering the dark roasted coffee in the shop that day, and then I read his mind. At that moment, I knew that Eddie would lead me to my next target.

This abandoned house was a perfect location for my plans. I lured him here as a prospect for a date, to go ghost hunting on this Halloween night. I knew Eddie wouldn’t like it. He hated abandoned places, among other things, and felt the supernatural didn’t exist. His dislike for Halloween was well known, by his friends and coworkers. He was in for such a surprise. The dark and gloomy room was lit by the candles we brought, and no one was around for miles.

“Trevor, why are you doing this to me? I thought you loved me?” Eddie cried.

I had him strapped to the chair in this run-down house, and he was terrified. I could feel the fear coming off of him, and his mind slowly opened to me. “Please let me go!!!”

“No.” It was a simple word, but it carried the weight I needed it too. I circled his chair, lightly touching his shoulder, Eddie trembled under my touch. It took me months to realize what scared Eddie. Old abandoned houses and people learning his secret. Now that I had him where I wanted, it was time to strike. I needed Eddie to drop all of his mental shields so I could get in, and he was doing exactly what I wanted.

“Please… Let me go…,” he cried, as the tears flowed freely down his face. I could taste the anguish he felt in the air and with each of his cries and emotional outbursts, his defenses would drop a bit more. Each time they did, the more information I gleaned from his opened mind. “Why are you doing this Trevor?”

“Why… hmm. I guess I could explain,” I started in a teasing tone which quickly turned dark. “It started that first day when I walked into Starbucks. I ordered my Café Mocha, and I saw you roll your eyes at me, but it is more than that, Eddie my dear boy.” I smiled as I looked down at him. “I smelt the guilt on you… I know what you did, Eddie. All those years in college, just to get that trash degree of Political Science. The internship with that Democratic Senator, who you thought was your Mentor. How you couldn’t get a job in D.C., because too many other doe-eyed young liberals took the same path you did. How you hate being a 29-year-old manager of a shithole like Starbucks…” I paused, and leaned in close to Eddie’s ear, “and how you let that same Senator you interned with, and based your life around, rape and murder your best friend Travis.”

The look of fear enveloped Eddie’s face and the last of his resolve broke. I’m in, and a smile danced across my face, as I got everything I need to destroy the Senator, my true target.

“Why… Who are you?” Eddie stammers, and I smell the scent of urine as Eddie just wet himself.

“‘What am I?’ That is the better question to ask,” I gloat, and moved to stand in front of him. “You want to know who I am, well... I’m a demon Eddie, an Incubus. A seducer of mortals and a pryer of secrets you keep hidden. And you dear Edward, just let me in, to where I know all of yours.”

“I don’t believe you… What the Fuck… Your eyes, they’re glowing!” He’s pulled and twisted against the ropes so hard, that they have cut into him. Blood trickles down from the rope cuts, slowly, and I can sense his fear, as he screams out, “Oh God help me!”

“God isn’t here boy… only me.” I stated matter-of-factly.

My laughter fills the room. My skin turns ash gray as I morph into my real form – no longer Eddie’s best friend Trevor. My teeth are sickles, my hair turn blacker than a witch’s heart as my crimson eyes flame capturing Eddie. He stares into them, dumbfounded and trapped.

“I’ll say this Eddie… You should have interned with a Republican. At least they take care of their responsibilities a lot better. Not pay them off with a token amount, ship them across the country, and keep them in line with death threats. You’d think you interns would learn after Ted Kennedy killed that hooker, but no… You, humans, don’t learn.”

“But, but, I did nothing wrong!”

“Bullshit…” The word was said harshly, and I backhanded him across the face. “You lured Travis to that hotel. You led him into the room and watched as the Senator raped your best friend. He said no, Eddie. He told you both, no, and you didn’t do shit to help him. Then when Travis said he was going to the cops, your pal the Senator killed him. He smothered him with a pillow on the very bed he raped him on. Very Frank Underwood of him, and you, to do such a thing… killing someone who got in your way.”

Eddie thrashed about in the chair, as he struggled in vain against the ropes. They were enchanted, and only I could let him out.

“You went to his funeral and gave a eulogy. All the while, you knew you fucked up. Then your Senator lover shipped you off. I don’t know which was more cowardly. Being someone’s bitch or doing nothing for someone you considered a brother?”

“Kill me then… I don’t want to live like this!” He cried again. For the first time, I felt through the psychic bond, Eddie finally understood what he did, and how fucked up it was. He’s going to love my family when they get their claws on him.

***

“In Local News, Starbucks manager Eddie Olsen was found naked, beaten, and in a walking catatonic state along highway 4. Police are investigating the circumstances surrounding his disappearance, and the mysterious reappearance. He had been missing for a week. His co-workers reported that Mr. Olsen was supposed to have been on a date the night he disappeared, but no one has come forward. Now, for the weather…” the newscaster on the local station said.

I sat in bed and watched the television, as the nurse was taking my vitals. “There you go Mister Olsen, we’re all done. You’re looking better.”

“Thanks, feeling better. How long do I need to stay?”

“The Doctor wants you here for a 48-hour admittance for observation and mental health. You went through a very traumatic experience.”

I nodded to her, as she left the room and shut the door behind her. A smile lit my face, as I thought about the real Eddie Olsen. He’s alive and locked up in my special little place, a secluded building where it’s just him, and few others that I keep as pets. He’s mentally shattered, and nothing but a broken man, but he’s my Eddie, a doll to play with.

Now, it’s my turn to be Eddie Olsen in the ‘real world’ and in time to go after this Senator; to be Hell’s Vengeance for young Travis. Sometimes, those do-gooders in Heaven outsource their dirty work to us, and it’s my pleasure to serve.

The End

Special thanks to @Mikiesboy for help, encouragement, and his editing and beta reading of this story.
Copyright © 2017 BHopper2; All Rights Reserved.
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Stories posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 
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Chapter Comments



The twist was definitely unexpected. I wasn't sure you could "tie it up" at the end so quickly, but you did, and in a chilling way. Good job, A.

 

P.S. Keep an eye on your use of present and past tenses. The two jump around a bit in the story. That's my only constructive criticism!

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44 minutes ago, LadyDe said:

Wow!!  :o Good twist at the end. 

Thank you for reading! The twist was one I've seen before, and enjoyed. Sometimes the bad guy wins.

  • Like 4
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13 minutes ago, Solus Magus said:

Wow. This is something different from what I usually read. It's so dark. I love it! :o 

Thank you for reading Solus. It's one of the darker stories I've written.

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7 minutes ago, Mikiesboy said:

Nice job, my friend, and the twist is a good one!!

Thank you tim. Both for reading, and the help you gave.

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Just now, BHopper2 said:

Thank you for reading Solus. It's one of the darker stories I've written.

Dark stories are really challenging to write. My Diary of the Damned is a big experiment for me to go further to that direction.

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2 minutes ago, MacGreg said:

The twist was definitely unexpected. I wasn't sure you could "tie it up" at the end so quickly, but you did, and in a chilling way. Good job, A.

 

P.S. Keep an eye on your use of present and past tenses. The two jump around a bit in the story. That's my only constructive criticism!

Thank you, Mac. The Tenses are a weakness of mine, and I didn't notice till you just pointed out in this one.

I have to give credit to tim. He said twist needed a little bit of fleshing out about what happened to Eddie, and making him the Incubus' plaything just popped into my head.

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Just now, BHopper2 said:

Thank you, Mac. The Tenses are a weakness of mine, and I didn't notice till you just pointed out in this one.

I have to give credit to tim. He said twist needed a little bit of fleshing out about what happened to Eddie, and making him the Incubus' plaything just popped into my head.

It works well!

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Woah! Great writing! I hate repeating what the others have said, but the twist really works! Congrats!

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11 minutes ago, Dyaus said:

Woah! Great writing! I hate repeating what the others have said, but the twist really works! Congrats!

Thank you for reading! I'm glad you liked the twist, and I actually was worried it would not come across.

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well done A. great twist and a great story. one wonders if there is another tale to tell? even if there is not. this one is a wonderfully dark tale.

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6 minutes ago, Puppilull said:

Vengeance... Well, I won't cry for Eddie. Not a very nice person. The senator will get his. 

Thank you for reading! Yes, Eddie wasn't a nice person, at all. The prompt left a lot of room for interpretation, and this story idea came to me fairly quickly. Though this is the fourth draft of it. The three previous ones, were all darker, and a lot more political. :unsure::blushing:

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11 minutes ago, mogwhy said:

well done A. great twist and a great story. one wonders if there is another tale to tell? even if there is not. this one is a wonderfully dark tale.

Thanks Moggie for reading the story. There could be another story, but I'm not really sure. Kinda feel like I need to do a "Heaven's Redemption" as a companion piece, but not so sure. Yet.

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16 minutes ago, BHopper2 said:

Thank you for reading! Yes, Eddie wasn't a nice person, at all. The prompt left a lot of room for interpretation, and this story idea came to me fairly quickly. Though this is the fourth draft of it. The three previous ones, were all darker, and a lot more political. :unsure::blushing:

 

Posting stories in the Pit... I wonder if that is possible...? ;)

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Just now, Puppilull said:

 

Posting stories in the Pit... I wonder if that is possible...? ;)

we already have it with Fake News.... *coughs* Sorry...

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Not how I was expecting to end. Good job. Not too many political Halloween stories out there, but politics is certainly horrifying.

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2 hours ago, BlindAmbition said:

Not how I was expecting to end. Good job. Not too many political Halloween stories out there, but politics is certainly horrifying.

Thanks for reading, jp. I am happy you liked it. I was concerned about the politics. I'm hoping I didn't offend anyone with it. Yes, they can be real scary.

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27 minutes ago, Defiance19 said:

Ohh, was not expecting the end! That was great, A! Well done! 

 

Thanks for reading, Agent D! And thanks for the compliment. tim helped me in getting this finished.

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This short story was all about the clever twist at the end, which I loved, along with the descriptiveness: "I smelled the guilt on him. It was overpowering the dark roasted coffee in the shop that day..." And, it's thanks to @R J Drew whose review made me stop to read it. 

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6 minutes ago, William King said:

This short story was all about the clever twist at the end, which I loved, along with the descriptiveness: "I smelled the guilt on him. It was overpowering the dark roasted coffee in the shop that day..." And, it's thanks to @R J Drew whose review made me stop to read it. 

Thank you, William for the comment. I am glad you enjoyed the story.

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