I was our Gypsy Leader 1 - My reincarnated Soul Mate - 5. Chapter 5. Seeing Jack's 'spirit'; meeting 'little Harry'.

Surprisingly, after John's unexpected visit, my old and therefore rusty brain was feeling more alive and kicking than it ever felt before. Clearly, my affectionate young friend with his healing powers and his big heart full of tender loving care had a truly refreshing impact on my mental health! Having such a lovable young buddy at my side felt wonderful, although I was already an 'old man' and John was 'only' a young child. I hoped he would return soon, this time accompanied by 'little Harry' who once had been my own little trapper son.

Again, my too analytical brain started to doubt. Could my strange remembrances from our 'past lives' be fake, or perhaps only products from my own imagination? If so, then why did John remember those same things from our shared 'trapper lives', including my own little son who hopefully soon would return to me as 'little Harry'? If only my confused brain could get some undeniable proof...

Now that John had left my house to encourage his little brother to join him towards his former abode, my kitchen felt strangely empty. Absent-mindedly, I slumped down on my folding chair and stared at all the little sparrows in my backyard that still chased after each other. So many inexplicable things had happened, in such an unbelievable short amount of time... Yesterday morning, I had arrived in my newly bought house in this small village, hopefully to enjoy the rest of my retirement in peace and quiet. Almost immediately, I met a young boy who had been my best friend during many 'past lives', and he seemed to recognize me too. At the same time, I also remembered my own 'past life' and my former little 'trapper son', although I never before believed in such a weird thing as 'reincarnation'.

Today, both John and I had seen or sensed the so-called 'ghost' or 'spirit' of the deceased grownup Jack who was the former owner of my newly bought house. Then, John also told me that his little Gypsy brother 'Harry' seemed to be able not only to see Jack's spirit but also to talk to his deceased Big Friend! Last night, after my nightmare, I suddenly heard Jack's warm and soulful voice in my inside where he told me loud and clear: 'This is your final destiny, and your son needs you.' At that same moment, I had felt my own little brother Joshie around me and clearly sensed his so well known energy of being in perfect harmony with each other! This was almost unbelievable, unless my too analytical mind could accept the incredulous fact that we could be living more than one life on this same planet...

Had really John, little Harry, and I, known each other before; and had really Jack's so-called 'spirit' brought me to his former abode, to meet John and his severely burnt little Gypsy brother? Stealthily, I peeked at the same corner where John had sensed Jack's energy, and where I had seen some sort of hazy mist. Very much to my surprise, the same hazy mist was still there and becoming even more visible! At the same time, a faint draft started to whirl around in my kitchen, giving me little goose bumps all over my shivering body. What could be happening to me, here in my own kitchen? Could really this hazy mist be the 'spirit' of the deceased former owner of my newly bought house, Jack? Could really Jack's 'spirit' be visiting his former abode, and was he now trying to contact its new owner? In addition, why did I again sense little Joshie's so well known energy around me?

Unexpectedly, another speculative idea popped up in my confused mind. Could the 'spirits' of Jack and little Joshie be the same person? Could dead people be growing up and becoming older? After my nightmare, my 'spirit guide' had felt like Joshie, but he had talked to me with Jack's grownup voice! Now, an even stranger idea popped up in my mind. Could Jack be the next 'incarnation' of my deceased little brother? Could little Joshie have 'reincarnated', around fifty years ago, to be reborn as 'Jack' who grew up, bought this house, and helped little Harry until he could be sure that I would take over? Of course, if really my little brother Joshie had reincarnated as Jack, this fact also explained why I always felt both Jack's and little Joshie's energy around me at the same time! If only my too baffled analytical brain could get some absolutely undeniable proof...

In the meantime, all the usual sounds in and around my kitchen seemed to mute, as if some blanket wrapped itself around everything; while some sort of 'spiritual cathedral' started to build up around my kitchen, as if shielding me from any too interfering outside energies. I also thought I could smell a faint scent of wild flowers or aromatic incense, and I heard some ethereal 'celestial chorus' singing beautiful songs in the background! The already whirling air in my kitchen became even chillier, giving me even more goose bumps. This was becoming really eerie! Some time ago, I saw some spooky film about so-called 'ghosts' that haunted innocent people who bought their house; but I never thought I could become their next victim...

Slowly, I started to feel tired and a bit drowsy, as if somebody could have drugged me, while my inside started to feel extraordinarily calm. What the heck was happening to me, here in my own kitchen? Was I dying; and was I now entering 'heaven', or perhaps 'hell'?

Feeling mystified, and also a little bit afraid, I stared in surprise at some vague human form that started to show up through the slowly whirling mist. While I wondered who or what this faint human form could be, the hazy mist slowly changed into the form of a real man. The man first looked at me with his deep brown eyes full of love and compassion, and then he suddenly SMILED at me!

To say I felt 'totally dumbstruck' is not strong enough to express my confused feelings of that moment, because my inside immediately recognized little Joshie's intensely staring eyes and knowing smile, as if he knew something important that I didn't need to know yet. This faint and almost transparent spirit really looked like a fifty-year-old grownup version of my deceased little brother, while his warm eyes were staring at me with the same mysterious intensity as before!

At seeing his knowing smile, my inside was absolutely sure that this faint 'ghost' belonged to my own deceased little brother. Clearly, little Joshie had already reincarnated and was now a grownup! This time, I could no longer deny it... Without any doubt, Jack WAS the next incarnation of my little brother who had grown up and now was around fifty years old! Surprisingly, Jack's spirit also looked like John, showing me those same deep brown eyes and dark brown hair with little curls at the edges. I even thought that Jack and John easily could be father and son, because they were looking so much alike...

When Jack's spirit saw that I hesitatingly accepted the fact that he showed himself to me as a hazy ghostly form, he suddenly stretched both hands out towards me, so that a very powerful wave of Pure Cosmic Love went through my body and my soul, making me feel drowsy and warm and safe and all mushy inside. Never before had I felt being loved like this, while I opened my aura even more to Jack's powerful Cosmic Love and basked in the joyful feeling of being healed into my deepest core. Clearly, Jack's spirit was an even more powerful healer than his son John seemed to be! That is, if John really was Jack's son, which wouldn't surprise me.

Still basking in Jack's powerful Love, all my initial doubts started to fade away, until even my analytical brain finally accepted the fact that really Jack's spirit was showing himself to me! Next, I also heard Jack's warm and soulful voice, again as if coming from within my own inside. Immediately, I recognized the same warm and soulful voice that I had heard after my nightmare, when somebody told me: 'This is your final destiny, and your son needs you.'

This time, Jack's warm and soulful voice told me:

"My dear brother, here is your undeniable proof! Yes, I am your little brother who once burnt himself to death. From our Timeless Eternal Realm, I reincarnated almost immediately; to grow up, buy this house, and then help your son from your own past life until you would show up and start helping him with his difficulties. Please, stop feeling guilty and try to free yourself from your old traumas, because you've only helped me redeem my own old Karma, and nothing has been your fault! Both you and I had to live only through our own difficulties. Therefore, please stop doubting, and listen to what your own heart tells you. Many more Spirit Friends and Cosmic Helpers are around you and your steadily growing family, to assist you when and wherever we are allowed. Working closely together, we will go on guiding you onto your chosen path that also is ours. May our Highest Supreme Being always be with you and bless you!"

Still smiling broadly, my 'Spirit Guide' slowly faded away until he disappeared into thin air. Almost immediately, the too chilly air in my kitchen warmed up, so that all my little goose bumps went away. The cathedral and the angelic chorus vanished, while the damping blanket unwrapped itself from the muted sounds so that my kitchen returned to 'normal'. Still feeling tired and a bit disorientated, I looked around in surprise, listened to the returning sounds of the chasing sparrows in my backyard, and didn't know anymore what I should believe. Today, I had seen a 'spirit', or could this hazy form be a 'ghost', in my new kitchen, felt his powerful Cosmic Love and healing energy engulfing both my body and my soul, and heard his warm and soulful voice in my inside, while I almost immediately recognized him as being the 'next incarnation' of my own little brother... I needed a BREAK!

All my life, I had presumed that seeing so-called 'ghosts' or 'spirits' could be only some weird trick of your own imagination. However, today, I had both seen and heard such an imaginary 'spirit', and he had even talked to me in my inside! Or, had this faint and hazy form been a 'ghost', or maybe a 'guardian angel'? What could be the difference?

While my too analytical mind went on thinking and brooding, it suddenly bothered me that I had heard Jack's voice sounding in my inside, instead of the words coming out of his mouth! Why was that? Could I have made up that 'ghostly' voice in my own mind? Of course, as a psychotherapist, I was familiar with people 'seeing hallucinations' or 'hearing voices'; and, up to now, I had always assumed that my own mind would be relatively sane and healthy. However, after going through these weird 'ghostly' experiences, I wasn't so sure anymore! Immediately, my rational mind took over and restarted to doubt...

Clearly, something was severely wrong with me! Obviously, I had started hallucinating, by creating those weird illusions in my fantasy. Therefore, I had to find a reliable shrink immediately, to check my mental health and quickly put me under some necessary medication! What strange coincidence that I happened to be such a shrink myself. However, would I still be 'reliable'? Feeling more and more worried, I decided to do a few quick psychological tests on myself. If really my brain had concocted those weird illusions, it would also be able to recreate them. Therefore, testing my mental sanity would be relatively easy. After closing my eyes, I started to try out a few things...

First, I tried to recreate the feeling of sensing little Joshie's energy around me, but nothing happened. Next, I tried to project a hazy form in a corner of my kitchen, but my kitchen felt empty and it remained empty. I also tried to fantasize a cathedral around my kitchen, with a celestial chorus singing in the background, but everything around me stayed the same. At last, I tried to reproduce Jack's warm and soulful voice in my inside, but my inside was silent and it remained silent!

At long last, my still baffled mind could come up with only one reasonable conclusion: I had really both seen and heard Jack's 'spirit' showing up in a corner of my kitchen! Or had this hazy form been a 'ghost', or maybe my 'guardian angel'? Fact was that I HAD seen the deceased former owner of my house, Jack, who also turned out to be the next incarnation of my own little brother, Joshie. Therefore, albeit unintentionally, I HAD proven to myself that Jack's 'spirit' or 'ghost' existed, because I had seen him with my own eyes! Of course, this strange conclusion would also turn my entire 'normal' world upside down. From now on, my life would nevermore be the same!

Still feeling confused and shaky, I rose from my folding chair and returned to my unopened cardboard boxes. As on autopilot, I restarted sorting my possessions and putting them into the various cabinets and cupboards. In the meantime, I tried to divert my entangled thoughts by concentrating only on what I was doing. Very much to my delight, I finally found my huge packet of tissues, lying on the bottom of the next cardboard box. From now on, I would be fully prepared in case anyone needed a wagonload of tissues to dry their tears or blow their nose! Happily, I trotted upstairs and put my packet of tissues where I was sure I would be able to find it easily if ever needed...

After returning downstairs, I went back to the next cardboard box and opened it, to sort out its contents and then put everything away into all those slowly filling cabinets and cupboards.

Again, my thoughts returned to that badly burnt little Gypsy boy who seemed to miss another 'Big Friend' in his life and just couldn't cope without one. Why did I feel so strangely longing to meet my little namesake, every time I thought of him as being 'my boy'? Was that because Harry had been my own little son during our past 'trapper lives', while John had been our grownup best friend? Involuntarily, I also started to replay what Jack's spirit had told me. Firstly, Jack had confirmed that he was the 'reincarnation' of my burnt little brother! Had I really helped my little brother redeem his old Karma, and could therefore Joshie have burnt himself to death on purpose? That was almost unbelievable! Were really all those devoted 'Spirit Friends' and 'Cosmic Helpers' around my steadily growing family and me, to assist us when and wherever they were allowed? Hey, would I really get a 'steadily growing family', as Jack's spirit had predicted?

Suddenly, my extremely loud doorbell rang, so that its irritating sound harshly shook me out of my reveries! Muttering under my breath, I decided again that I had to replace the wicked thing as soon as possible, before it caused me to have a heart attack. However, first, I had to open my front door, to brush off the sales representative I was sure I hadn't invited. Or, had John already talked to his little brother? Were both John and little Harry now waiting at my front door to let them in? Quickly, I opened the door, suddenly feeling nervous...

On my porch, five young children were huddling together, whilst expectantly looking up at me. A sixth child shyly hid behind them, while a motherly looking Marrie tried to push him forward. Here were all my young neighborhood friends that I had missed so much, including little Harry! Only, why was 'my boy' still trying to hide his burnt face from my view? Hadn't John told him about my own little brother? Clearly, little Harry still needed more time to feel at ease in the company of such a bearded 'ancient grandpa' who had never seen him before... Feeling a bit strange, I invited everybody in:

"What a pleasant surprise! Please come in; and would you care for another cup of tea, or maybe hot chocolate?"

Without waiting for my little neighbors to follow me, I just turned around and went inside, because I thought they might feel safer when they could enter my house all on their own and voluntarily. My idea seemed to work, because all six children just followed me inside, including little Harry. On my way to my kitchen, I first collected five more folding chairs from my hallway closet. Fortunately, I had bought plenty of them, to be prepared for any unexpected visitors.

Only, how do you carry five already opening folding chairs at the same time, without getting entangled? My former friend, John, first started to chuckle at seeing my clumsy efforts to carry five unwilling chairs at the same time. But then, he helped me drag them into the kitchen. Working together, we neatly placed all five opened chairs around the table, next to the two that were already there.

In the meantime, all the other kids had followed us and were now huddling together in a corner of the kitchen. Four kids looked around curiously, while John stepped towards them and joined his friends. Unfortunately, I still couldn't see the sixth kid who shyly hid behind the herd. Obviously, little Harry still didn't want me to see his burnt face. Why was that? Hadn't John told him that I was already used to seeing a boy with a burnt face, because of my own little brother?

Looking proud, John placed himself in front of his friends, while Thomas stepped directly behind John as if looking for protection. Chrissy was again giggling while she tried to push Mark into Thomas. Marrie had her arms folded around a clearly still hesitating small boy, while she in vain tried to push him forward and into my direction...

Although 'my boy' still tried to hide his burnt face from my view, I could now see some more of him. Again, I wondered about his blond hair that was of a light brownish color, nearly white. John had told me that Harry was a Gypsy boy, and I always thought that all Gypsies had dark hair. Could one of his deceased parents be of a non-Gypsy origin? That would also explain his surprisingly bright blue eyes! Fortunately, he didn't look too much like my own little brother, who had lost all of his hair and was completely bald. His small hands seemed to be relatively undamaged, but the uncovered parts of his arms showed several scars and colored stains of clearly burnt skin.

Hoping to see some more of 'my boy', I suggested:

"Please sit down, and let me take your orders for a drink..."

John was the first one who turned around and went straight to my refrigerator, clearly feeling at home in my humble abode. Carrying the already opened bottle of milk, he returned to the kitchen table and sat down on one of the folding chairs, whilst impatiently mentioning his friends to join him. In the meantime, I collected six drinking glasses and put them in front of the chairs. Thomas seemed to hesitate, but then he went to the table and sat down as well, very close to John. Laughing at the suddenly shy rascal, I asked him:

"Sir Thomas, what is your order? Milk, tea, or hot chocolate?"

"Err, can I... oops, sorry, MAY I order hot chocolate, please?"

Still laughing, I took John's already opened bottle from the table and poured some milk into a pan. First, I put the pan onto my electric cook top, to heat the milk. Then, I decided to wait for the other kids. Perhaps, they wanted to order hot chocolate as well? Turning around, I saw that Mark and Chrissy had already joined John and Thomas at the kitchen table. Giggling and pushing each other as usual, they were waiting for me to take their orders. At the same time, Marrie still tried to push an unwilling and clearly hesitating small boy towards me...

Finally, I could see some more of 'my boy'. Although he seemed to be a tad too small for being eight years old, his firmly built frame looked strong and healthy enough. Only, he still held his head down, as if he could be afraid to let me see his burnt face. Why was he still hesitating to show me his burns? Hadn't John told him beforehand that I was already used to having a severely burnt little boy around, because of my own deceased little brother?

Out of professional habit, I decided to switch first into my usual 'therapist mode', so that I could try to read my boy's aura and interpret his body language. Tuning in into his surrounding energy field, I felt again surprised to find out that this small boy was NOT afraid of me! Never before had I sensed such an enormous lot of self-consciousness and Inner Power in such a young child. This tiny kid was absolutely proud of who he was; while, at the same time, he also showed me an astonishingly impressive demeanor! His body language told me that he still was a little bit afraid, but only to be disappointed in his own expectations, because too many people had reacted shocked, called him nasty names, shooed him away, or rudely rejected him, once they could see his so terribly burnt face for the first time.

Again, my inside remembered our 'past lives' as trappers in a huge forest, so that I again wanted to rescue my son from that hungry bear, to pull him into my arms and never let him go... Fortunately, at the same time, my normal mind was still working and telling me not to make the same fault twice by again acting too fast. Therefore, I first forcefully pushed my unwelcome 'remembrances' out of the way, and then quickly decided to let my boy make his own decisions in his own time. I only opened my heart towards him and started to send him as much Universal Love as I was able to muster. Hoping he would again pick up at least some of my energy, as he had already done before, I also tried to 'talk' to him in my mind. Silently, I 'told' him he could trust me and that I really wanted to be his friend...

Immediately, my boy lifted his head, looked up at me, and stared deeply into my eyes, as if he could have sensed my Universal Love and picked up all my unspoken words! For a second, I felt surprised. Could this tiny boy also be a clairvoyant, or perhaps a mind reader? For a few seconds, he seemed to hesitate, as if he hadn't expected me to me able to 'talk' to him in my mind. Then, his piercing bright blue orbs felt like staring straight into my deepest inside!

This so extremely special child had the most fascinating eyes that I had ever seen. His bright blue orbs were not only showing me an enormous amount of Inner Pride and a superior intelligence, but also a lot of sadness, and a deep longing to belong to a loving and caring grownup who would accept him for who he was and who would help him grow up in such a hostile world. Surprisingly, his piercing eyes also reminded me of my old Indian Shaman! The Shaman had stared into my eyes with the same penetrating orbs while almost effortlessly reading my deepest intentions. Could this tiny Gypsy child also be an upcoming Shaman, maybe without knowing who he was?

Suddenly, I sensed that my tiny 'upcoming Shaman' went straight through my carefully built-up emotional defenses and dived directly into my deepest core, obviously to find out who I could be in reality! Effortlessly, he found my hidden thoughts and quickly paged through them, as if searching for some unknown truth... At the same time, the 'normal' world around my boy and me ceased to exist, so that my entire structured and controlled world faded away until I was solely aware of those bottomless bright blue orbs that effortlessly sucked in the remainders of my emotional defenses! Within a second, I had to use all of my strength to tear myself loose from his penetrating gaze and to regain at least some of my already crumbling posture...

Fortunately, within a second, my own Shaman inside remembered what I had to do, to protect myself against such an 'energy intruder'. Quickly, I pulled my waning energy together and shut my protective aura down, with a sensation as if my own inside suddenly woke up from some deep sleep, and remembered that his same tiny child once had been my most gifted pupil in our own Holy Temple Complex from around five thousand years ago! Being my 'Eternal Soul Mate', he had always effortlessly stolen all my thoughts, my love, my heart, and my soul; while I had been our 'Supreme High Priest' who taught him how to use those exceptionally strong Shaman and Cosmic Mage powers to 'read' other people and find out their true intentions. Today, my most gifted pupil from our Holy Temple complex had returned to me, exactly as all of us had planned beforehand!

Again, I sensed those same strong feelings of recognition that left me breathless. A powerful wave of pure happiness overwhelmed my inside and made me tremble with even more pride and joy. This powerful little Shaman was the REAL reason why I was here! I had been waiting for him all my life, whilst preparing myself to be able to help and guide him through his own difficult youth. Even working with troubled children and studying several alternative therapies like 'aura reading and healing', had been a thorough preparation to be here for 'my boy' when he finally showed up in my life and again needed my help and my guidance! Was this what our 'Spirit Guide', Jack, meant when his voice told me after I woke up from my nightmare: 'This is your final destiny, and your son needs you'?

Unfortunately, most 'remembrances' from our shared lives were already fading away, so that my analytical brain woke up from its numbness and immediately started to doubt again. Had I really once been some 'Supreme High Priest' in our own 'Holy temple complex' in 'Ancient Egypt'; and had really this tiny boy once been my most gifted Shaman and Cosmic Mage? Perhaps, my brain had only been daydreaming, and everybody knows that daydreams are never true...

In the meantime, my 'most gifted Shaman' gently freed himself from Marries enveloping arms. For another second, he seemed to wait for any negative reactions, now that I was able to see his so terribly burnt face. Would I still accept him and want to be his friend, as I had already promised in my thoughts? Or, would I now turn around and rudely reject him, as so many other grownups had done after they could see his so terribly burnt 'freaky face' for the first time...