I was our Gypsy Leader 1 - My reincarnated Soul Mate - 13. Chapter 13. A 'too difficult' thermostatic shower tap.

Still sitting on my lap, my little soul mate suddenly looked at the door with a very surprised face, as if he could have heard or sensed something that he didn't expect! Could my upcoming little Shaman be demonstrating another one of his many 'special gifts', although he still couldn't remember from where they originated? With an enthusiastic sounding deep baritone voice, he exclaimed:

"Here comes John!"

Quickly, he freed himself from my arms, slid down onto the floor, and raced to our front door at full speed, leaving me surprised. Could my boy really have sensed John's energy in advance, perhaps because John was planning to visit us this early? But, then, my little friend had to be a 'clairvoyant' as well, next to being an 'upcoming little Shaman', a 'medium', and a 'mind reader'! Could this so extremely special child have any more unexpected surprises in store?

Ten seconds after my little Shaman sensed John's energy, my still way too loud doorbell rang. At that same moment, I also heard my little Shaman open our front door. Very much to my surprise, I really heard John's happy sounding voice enthusiastically greet his little Gypsy brother! For a second, I too felt happy to see my young friend again. Then, it dawned on me that my boy was still naked and I was nearly naked! Wouldn't John feel both surprised and very shocked at seeing his naked little brother opening our front door, and then seeing me clad in only briefs and nothing else? Probably, he would run home screaming, to tell his parents about our 'indecent behavior'...

Therefore, I had to explain our still being naked to John as soon as possible! Only, how would I ever be able to race upstairs and put on some more clothes, before John's eyes caught my almost nudity? I was already too late to run through the hallway and upstairs without being seen. Therefore, I seemed to be trapped in my own kitchen, and could only hope for the best! What else could I do? Trying to think fast, I positioned myself at the back of my kitchen table, where I tried to hide my white briefs behind a folding chair. Then, I waited...

A split second later, two excitedly chatting boys tumbled into the kitchen, with their arms folded around each other's waists and clearly feeling happy to see each other. Inside the kitchen, John first looked around and sniffed the air approvingly. Then, with very much pride in his deep brown eyes, he asked his little brother:

"I bet you've again cooked one of your famous tasty breakfasts! Didn't you leave any leftovers for me?"

Then, John acknowledged my presence, still smiling broadly while looking genuinely happy to see me. Enthusiastically, he rounded the kitchen table, came straight up to me, put his arms around my unclad waist, and offered me an enormous bear hug! Amazingly, my young friend didn't seem to feel surprised at all; as if seeing his little brother naked, and me being naked except for only briefs, was already normal to him! For a few seconds, he just cuddled up against my bare chest and stomach. Then, he looked up at me and told me:

"Good morning, sir. I am sorry for being this early, but I felt bored and therefore decided to visit you now. My little brother is a brilliant cook, isn't he? I bet that, one day, he will be famous all over the world and perhaps even run his own restaurant!"

After greeting me, John trotted back to his broadly smiling little brother, pointed to the stairs in our hallway, and told him:

"Come on, let's go upstairs and take our showers together as usual. Sir, could you please join us and wash our hair for us?"

Again, John folded his arms around his little brother and gently pulled him against his chest. Looking happy, my boy melted into his big brother's enveloping arms; so that now two pairs of beaming eyes looked at me, as if expecting me to leave my hiding place and join them upstairs and into my hitherto unused shower stall...

Only, my confused mind was still trying to understand why John didn't feel shocked at seeing his little brother totally naked and me clad in only briefs, almost as if he could be used to seeing us like this! Besides, did John really want me to join them in their shower stall to wash their hair for them? Only, why would my young friend want this 'ancient grandpa' to join them and probably spoil all their fun? Or, could he be teasing me? Wasn't it enough for him to see me in such an indecent state, still clad in only briefs and feeling utterly ashamed?

Again, I looked at John's beaming face and sparkling deep brown eyes, and this time I was sure that he really meant it. My young friend didn't tease me at all, but he really wanted me to join his little brother and him in their shared shower! What should I do now, while I still desperately tried to hide my almost-nudity behind a folding chair? Why had I followed my hungry boy downstairs, instead of ignoring his rumbling stomach and put on some clothes first? Now, both John and little Harry had effectively trapped me in my own kitchen.

Besides, what would happen if John told his parents he had seen me in this indecent state, clad in only briefs? Almost certainly, Eric would forbid his children to visit this 'dirty old man' ever again! Apart from that, what would happen if I really decided to join both boys in their shower and wash their hair for them? Our so extremely prudish society would undoubtedly see this as performing 'very improper behavior'! Officially, these boys were not related to me, and none of their parents or wardens had ever asked me to shower them or to wash their hair for them. From the newspapers, everybody knew how our society tends to react to grownups sharing their shower with unrelated minors. They would only see my behavior as 'seducing two innocent victims', even when they had wanted it themselves and asked me for it! Feeling more and more uneasy, I started to protest:

"Sorry boys, but I don't think this is such a good idea..."

Clearly, my little Shaman had already read my thoughts, because he quickly stepped towards me and interrupted me:

"Come on, don't spoil our fun and just join us upstairs!"

Determinedly, my naked little savage took my hand and started to drag me towards the open kitchen door, whilst informing John:

"He is so shy because his parents taught him the same bullshit that Eric tried to teach you and me, about always feeling ashamed of being naked. Could you please take his other hand and help me?"

For a moment, John chuckled, before he went to my other side and took my other hand. Working together like this, both boys started to drag me out of my kitchen and towards the stairs... What should I do now? Feeling overwhelmed by their pushing, I had already started to follow them into my hallway. Would both boys really force me to join them into their shower and wash their hair for them?

Well, next to feeling forced, I also had to go upstairs to put on my clothes and feel decent again! After some more thinking, I decided to let both boys have their little bit of innocent fun. Of course, as their grownup, my much older muscles would certainly be strong enough to withstand their forceful pushing, if ever needed. I also started to feel a bit curious about how far they dared go. Therefore, I decided to let them drag me into the hallway, from where I would play it by ear... In front of the stairs, my youngest imp asked me:

"Could you now start walking up the stairs on your own legs from here, or do we have to drag you all the way up?"

Involuntarily feeling like a little lamb heading for its slaughter, I started to drag myself up the stairs, whilst feeling very aware of both boys looking up at my still bare body and only scarcely hidden bum... Although feeling hot with shame, I gritted my teeth and just kept on climbing up the stairs, as if this were my daily habit. Why was this so extremely difficult for me? Why was I feeling so terribly uneasy, now that both boys could see a few unclad parts of my body? Clearly, they didn't have any problems with it, so why should I? Was my strict and puritanical upbringing still hindering me this much? Or, could it be due to what our Big Brother society always tries to make us believe, about being 'indecent' in front of innocent children? To them, I was already damaging both 'victims' for the remainder of their lives, as our prudish society always tries to make us believe in all its 'wisdom'...

As a trained psychotherapist who helped many troubled children, I was absolutely sure that our Big Brother society only tried to make us believe nonsense, without any valid proof to evidence their warnings. At the same time, my inside was also sure that nobody would ever listen to our excuses. To them, I was already transforming into one of those 'filthy child molesters' that should be locked away forever! Still feeling uneasy, I just continued to drag myself upstairs, whilst trying to will down my blushing. Of course, I had to pull myself together and calm down some, before I reached the second floor and both boys again grabbed my hands to drag me into my shower stall.

When I reached the second floor, I just turned around, entered my bedroom, and slumped down on my wobbling waterbed. Still feeling in heavy turmoil, I tried to put my trousers on; but then they left my trembling hands and just slipped to the floor, while my confused brain fell silent and couldn't think straight anymore. Clearly, all these new happenings had been a tad too much for my rusty old brain...

In my own youth, my parents always instructed my little brother and me to dress properly first before walking around in our house. Even as little babies, they were already forcing us to feel ashamed of displaying certain 'private parts' of our tiny bodies. Once we were big enough to wash and dry ourselves, they never again saw us naked, not even partially; while both my little brother and I never saw any of our parents naked or even nearly naked, clearly from their own excessive fear of showing their own private parts to us innocent kids. After my little brother burnt himself and was totally dependent on others, I had to help him with everything, even with his going to the bathroom and wiping his little behind. But even then, both he and I were still feeling ashamed of really looking at each other's unclad private parts.

Later on, as a psychotherapist, I had to deal with several 'abused' or 'molested' children. Unfortunately, some of them had really been abused, and severely traumatized because of the terrible things they had been forced to endure. However, most other young children had only been 'playing doctor' with each other's private parts, in mutual consent, willingly, and having lots of fun. Until a prudish grownup found out, punished them, and then forced them to feel ashamed of the 'terrible things' they had done! These kids had been traumatized as well, but AFTERWARDS, because of the denouncing reactions of the condemning grownups and of our so extremely prudish society that cruelly victimized these kids, in the name of 'protecting' them...

During all those years, I had never ever seen any young children being traumatized by merely seeing a naked grownup! Yes, they had been traumatized as well, but only AFTER what they 'had done', by the extravagant reactions of their own prudish or shameful educators! Then, merely seeing another nudity could be a trigger to their induced fears, because they were still afraid of having to undergo those same extremely extravagant punishments a second time!

Why doesn't 'society' think some more first, before forcing even their youngest kids to feel ashamed of showing their 'private parts'? Why shouldn't responsible parents teach their kids to always listen to their own hearts, instead of frightening them by chasing after both real and fabricated 'child molesters'? Even our youngest children are certainly more capable of distinguishing 'bad' from 'good' than most parents pretend to know, unless their inner feelings are poisoned by inducing unnecessary fears! Really responsible parents should start teaching their children to listen to their 'inner feelings', instead of constantly frightening them with 'good touch' and 'bad touch'! When something FEELS good, it IS good! Plus, you cannot get a better harvest by rooting out all the weeds. You will have to nurture your valuable vegetation so that it prospers, and forget about those weeds. They will always be there, but they really don't harm very much! Unfortunately, those zealous gardeners are also ruling our world...

"Sir? Uncle Harry? What's up? Are you feeling ill?"

Slowly, I woke up from my sad train of thoughts, whilst trying to get my confused thoughts together and shaking my head a few times to get rid of my still disturbing cobwebs. Finally looking up, I stared into the concerned eyes of both John and little Harry who seemed to feel relieved when, at last, I started to react to them. John even put a warm hand onto my bare arm while he asked me:

"Is this our fault? Harry and I were only teasing you..."

Still trying to pull my confused self together, I first shook my head in denial. Then, after taking a couple of deep breaths, I explained:

"No, boys, this is not your fault! It is the fault of our so extremely prudish society with all those nasty assumptions and condemnations. Their incriminating 'Big Brother' mentality makes me feel frightened about the consequences of being nearly naked where you can see me. If you ever tell this to anybody else, our so over-zealous society will undoubtedly try to convict me, by accusing me of 'displaying indecent behavior' in front of you, even when you don't seem to mind."

Nodding his head in agreement, John responded:

"Yes, I know what you mean, because Jack and I talked about all those stupid 'nudity laws' many times. But, both Harry and I promised Jack that we would never ever blabber about any private things we are doing inside his house, including taking a shower together and Jack washing our hair for us. Of course, both my little Gypsy brother and I will still go on keeping those secrets, so that you too can always trust us unconditionally. Our lips are sealed!"

While my little soul mate eagerly nodded his head, to indicate that he agreed with John, I felt still unsure and therefore went on:

"Although I am glad that I can trust you, I am still afraid of what our meddlesome Big Brother society could do to me or to you, and therefore I am not going to take any risks by joining your shower and washing your hair for you! Now, just go take your own showers first, and I will wait in my bedroom until you are ready."

"But, Jack always joined our morning showers and washed our hair for us, and together we always had lots of fun! Why are you still so stubborn when there is no risk at all? You are no fun..."

"Well, I am not Jack; and I am also not sure whether Jack did the right thing by always joining you. He could have been in quite a lot of trouble if anybody ever found out! Sorry, but this is too difficult for me. My own parents always raised me very old-fashioned, and even my wife never joined her shower with our own daughters. Sorry, but I am NOT going to take any unnecessary risks! You and Harry can shower together first, and I will take my own shower after you are finished. Just look at what the daily newspapers tell us about nasty grownups luring innocent children into doing improper things with them. I do NOT want to be on their next front page!"

For a second, both John and little Harry remained silent, as if not knowing what to do. Then, they suddenly turned around and started to stare into each other's eyes... At that same moment, my gut feeling told me that both boys could be 'talking' to each other in their minds! Although I accepted that my little Shaman could be a 'mind reader', I still didn't know that John could be one too. This was becoming more and more eerie! What could they be telling each other?

After a few seconds of 'talking' to each other in their minds, both boys just turned back and again looked at me with innocent eyes, as if nothing out of the ordinary had happen. Until John asked me:

"Could you please turn on Jack's too complicated warm water tap for us? Jack cannot help us anymore; and both my little brother and I are not sure how to handle such a difficult thing..."

This was very strange! Could both John and little Harry be serious about not knowing how to handle a simple warm water tap? Or, were my little 'brainiacs' trying to lure me into something else, with their innocent faces? Stealthily, I looked from John to my boy, but both boys seemed to be sincere. Well, okay, helping them handle a simple warm water tap sounded innocent enough! To keep my trousers dry, I first put my clothes back onto my chair. Then, I followed both boys into my bathroom, planning to switch on their 'too difficult' warm water tap and then leave them alone to take their showers.

Jack, the former owner of my newly bought house, had cleverly rebuilt a small spare room into a luxurious bathroom, with a generous shower enclosure and enough room left for a washing machine, an electric dryer, and a huge chest of drawers. Until now, I had washed myself only with cold water, because the defective light bulb over my head refused to switch on in the dark... Whilst following both boys into my bathroom, my mind started to feel strangely absent, as if all my memories were leaving me! What the heck was happening to me? Could my little Shaman have something to do with this, because he had also been able to read my mind effortlessly? Before I could ask him my questions, both boys had already stepped aside, clearly to let me take a closer look at their 'too difficult' warm water tap.

Feeling strangely absent, I stepped into the shower enclosure, to take a closer look at its water tap... In sudden surprise, I stared at what clearly was a warm water tap, but I couldn't remember anymore how to switch it on! It looked like a short silver pipe, having a big knob at each end and a shower connection in the middle. I was sure I had seen such a thing before, but just couldn't remember how it worked...

In the meantime, my little soul mate had already stepped next to me, from where he looked at what I was doing. Looking back at his innocent face, I still couldn't understand how even such a clever little brainiac didn't seem to know how to operate a warm water tap, even after he had seen Jack doing it many times before! Still feeling vague and also a little bit sleepy, I crouched down on my old knees, to be able to take an even better look at the strange water thing.

Whilst looking at what my boy and I were doing, John had quickly shucked all his clothes. After throwing them onto my chest of drawers, he entered our shower enclosure and happily joined his little brother. Just like little Harry, John too wasn't shy at all about being naked. While John threw his arms around his little brother's shoulders and pulled him closer against his stomach, both boys started to wait for me, although they were also stealthily snickering as if having lots of fun. What could they be up to this time?

Suddenly, the strange feeling of absence left my mind, so that all my hitherto suppressed memories returned. Almost immediately, my wakening brain found out what the 'too difficult' warm water tap was. These two little devils... They had just been too cunning! This was a THERMOSTATIC water tap, and even the most dimwitted kid would be able to handle this tap without any risk of being burnt or cooked! Had my little Shaman suppressed my memories on purpose, so that my mind couldn't remember thermostatic water taps anymore? And, could both boys have planned their clever prank in advance, perhaps by silently 'talking' to each other in their minds? But, then, my young friend John had to be an upcoming Shaman too!

Groaning from feeling stiff, I rose from my kneeling position, to lecture both snickering boys sternly about their mischievous prank, although my inside stealthily admired their inventiveness... However, at seeing their proud faces and sparkling eyes, I just couldn't keep a straight face anymore. Involuntarily, I started to laugh, at seeing both boys looking at me with enormous smiles from ear to ear on their happy faces. Clearly, they had known exactly what they were doing, and they were very proud of their tremendous success! After a second, John started to laugh too while he told me:

"Now that you are seeing both Harry and me totally naked, you also don't have to behave so extremely shy anymore! Could you now please wash our hair for us, as Jack always used to do? Of course, you can still keep your own briefs on if you wish; to protect our innocent eyes from seeing your ancient pride and joy..."

Involuntarily, I started to bellow with laughter, at hearing John's sophisticated use of words for such a young kid. Plus, both boys had me exactly where they had wanted me to be, with their unexpected Shaman prank. They also seemed to be quite a lot cleverer than I ever anticipated in my ignorance! Still smiling broadly, my little soul mate left John's arms and effortlessly turned the 'too difficult' thermostatic water tap on. After quickly stepping away, he started to laugh at John and me who involuntarily yelped at unexpectedly getting the initially ice-cold water stream across our unclad bodies.

Without using any words, both John and I turned around, grabbed our fiercely struggling little imp, and pushed him under his own water stream! Fortunately for him, the cold water was already warming up, so that he easily escaped from our punishment. Then, he just dived in between his older brother and me, to defend his own place under the nicely warming water. Immediately, all three of us started to wrestle and push each other around, as if we could be little children. Within a few seconds of wrestling, my own 'inner child' took over as if basking in its own childish feelings of pure and innocent joy.

Very much to my own surprise, both boys immediately accepted me as being 'one of them', without any restrictions or considerations! Both of them just started to push me around whilst trying to get some more of our warm water stream. After some time, they even tackled me towards the wet shower floor, and then dived on top of me as a pile of squirming wet bodies on my own silently groaning 'old' frame. That is, until I wrestled free from their wriggling pile and tried to pin them down whilst threatening to tickle-torture them to death. Never before had my own inner child experienced so much raw and untamed fun! For the first time since little Joshie's death, I felt totally free and unrestricted. This time, I also started to understand what some other therapists meant when they told their stubborn clients to 'stop acting like a grownup' and to 'start comforting their Inner Child'. Could this be what the Christian Bible intended when it warned us:

'Unless you become like little children, you will never get into the Kingdom of Heaven...'

Never before had my own Inner Child enjoyed a shower this much and with such a lot of fun! That is, until my meddlesome mind took over and again started to doubt. What would our 'Big Brother' society think of my two naked boys and me showering together? Or, could our society be WRONG with their condemning assumptions about 'displaying indecent behavior' between children and grownups?

Could it be that our society's over-zealous 'protection from nasty child molesters and other predators', had overturned into 'throwing away their own children with the dirty wash'? Both as a human being and as an experienced psychotherapist, I was absolutely sure that my two showering boys hadn't been harmed in any way! That is, unless our meddlesome Big Brother society would interfere and force both boys to feel ashamed of what we had 'done'. Hopefully, I would never have to defend myself against those untrue accusations...

After also washing each other's hair, we decided to stop playing and get dried and dressed. Before we left our shower stall, my smiling little soul mate first shut off the 'too difficult' thermostatic water tap, again without any problems. Next, we started to dry each other's wet bodies, but we had to share the only bath towel I had been able to find so far. Soon, our towel was soaking wet, so that we had to wring it out a couple of times until all three of us were more or less dry. Again feeling all mushy and full of love for my two boys, I prayed:

"Please, Supreme Being, if you really exist someplace up there, let me keep my boys at least until they have grown up some more..."