Life's a Dreamboat - 6. Chapter 6

It had been a long week at work, there had been presentations to endure but it was now Friday night and Thomas is at Zack’s place.

Thomas has brought his laptop round and they have just finished up the latest spreadsheets so they are prepared for the work ahead in the next few weeks. It makes Thomas feel at ease to know everything at work is on track, it is a relaxing feeling of accomplishment.

Thomas has just closed up the laptop and is just chopping up carrots for the thick vegetable soup he is making for Zack. He aims to try get Zack moved up to eating stew soon. Small steps to him eating better.

Humming, Thomas reaches over to put his phone’s Spotify on. He feels completely comfortable here, a happy feeling of belonging he hasn’t felt for such a long time. It isn’t just the apartment; it is being in Zack’s presence.

Shuffling the songs on his phone, Thomas spots an old classic artist he hasn’t heard for a long time. Dusty Springfield.

All her songs of love and relationships, so corny, so on the nose. But Thomas is far too happy to care about that sort of thing.

Zack comes into the kitchen and nods along with music. He stands there quietly. Too quietly.

Thomas peers over, while putting the carrots in a pan, ‘Everything alright?’

‘Oh, yeah,’ Zack says softly, smiling. ‘It smells nice in here. Like almost peppery.’

‘I haven’t really started properly yet but, hey, glad you like it,’ grins Thomas.

Zack is quiet again.

‘Do you want to sit down?’

‘I used to cook, you know.’

Thomas turns around to look at Zack, who is leaning against the counter. Zack has had a shower and is wearing his grey bottoms and baggy white t-shirt again. He leans with his back against the counter, resting his elbows.

‘What did you cook?’ Thomas asks.

‘Everything, loved spicy,’ Zack gives a sad smile. ‘Chicken, spices, making my own fries, pie dishes. Used to be thing that would help my stress on a bad day.’

‘Why don’t you help me cook now?’

Zack lowers his head, ‘I’m too weak, I can’t stand longer than ten minutes now.’

‘Okay, I can sort that.’

Thomas walks over and gently latches on Zack’s wrist.

‘What?’ laughs Zack.

Thomas places Zack in front of the pan. He reaches over to grab the spoon to stir the already full pan of carrots and other vegetables, and puts the spoon in Zack’s hand. He then lightly touches Zack’s shoulders, pushing his back against Thomas, making Zack lean back against Thomas’s chest.

Thomas keeps his voice low as he says, ‘There you go.’

Zack is a little hesitant before fully leaning back against Thomas and stirring the pot.

‘I know it’s not what you used to…’

‘Thank you, Thomas,’ Zack barely says above a whisper, as Thomas puts his arms on the sides of the counter, allowing Zack to put all his weight onto him.

As he stirs, Thomas feels a bit braver and moves his arms from the counter to Zack’s sides, watching over his shoulder as Zack continues to stir and taste the soup.

Zack smells so fresh from his shower and his skin is still slightly damp, his hair is so soft against Thomas’s face. Despite his hair being thin from the cancer it feels very soft and delicate. Thomas is trying so hard not to inhale loudly and trying not to start shaking.

He hasn’t been this close physically with Zack before and Zack isn’t objecting to his cooking idea.

Eventually the soup is done and Zack taps the bowl with the spoon. Thomas wishes the soup would never be done but he takes the hint and takes the spoon off Zack and takes a step back. Zack hovers over the soup, giving it a sniff.

‘Bon appétit,’ grins Thomas.

Zack goes back to leaning against the counter.

As Thomas gets the bowl out, he notices his Spotify list comes out ‘Dusty Springfield I only want to be with you.’

Places the bowls on the table, Thomas turns up the music and shuffles along to Zack.

‘You stopped and smiled at me, asked if I care to dance,’ he sings along.

Zack laughs.

Reached out, Thomas takes Zack’s hands and pulls him a little, trying to dance with him. Zack keeps laughing, bowing his head down, looking awkward.

Zack then leans back against the counter and Thomas follows him, putting his hands on either side of Zack and coming up close to him, ‘Ever since we met you’ve had a hold me.’

Zack is starting to get a bit red faced, he crosses his arm but still has a little smile on his face.

‘It’s crazy but it’s true,’ Thomas gets close to Zack, their noses inches apart.

But that is as far as Thomas is brave enough to go. Zack is completely scarlet red in the face and has his eyes cast down to the floor. But the small smile is still on his face.

Thomas pulls away and dances back to the bowls.

As he pours the soup, he clears his throat and calls over his shoulder, ‘Want to go put a film on?’

‘Yeah,’ he hears Zack croak out.

Thomas is quiet while he stops his phone playing Spotify and he brings the bowls out. He places them all on a table.

After deciding on a film, they sit on the coach with their soup. Thomas’s phone beeps. Frowning, he leans over and quickly checks his messages.

‘Thomas, you’ve got to come out this weekend, we miss you!’

‘Yeah, Thomas, you can’t say no to a beer!’

Andy and Sharon are tagging him in WhatsApp messages. It has been a while since he has gone out or responded to their messages. He isn’t doing it on purpose, he is just preoccupied.

Thomas realises Zack is watching him so he nods at the phone, ‘Andy and Sharon are asking if I want to join them for drinks later.’

Zack beams, ‘You should absolutely go, you deserve a treat.’

Thomas puts his phone down, ‘I’ll go after I’ve eaten with you. you’ve helped make this meal. Plus, I haven’t seen this film before so I want to see how it will all end.’

‘You can rewatch this anytime.’

‘But I want to watch it now,’ Thomas pauses. ‘You’re not pushing me out, are you?’

‘No, I just don’t want to hold you back, that’s all.’

‘Well,’ Thomas smiles. ‘You’re really not, okay.’

Zack doesn’t respond and just sips his soup.

Thomas eyes the bowl, ‘It’s not too heavy?’

‘It is exactly what I need.’

Thomas doesn’t respond back and watches the TV. But the film isn’t registering with him and the food doesn’t have a taste. His thoughts are completely occupied with anxiety.

Why did he do that in the kitchen? Flirting, if you can call it that. Zack looked so embarrassed, so uncomfortable, is the thought of seeing Thomas in that way be a bad thing?

Maybe he was red faced because he only sees Thomas a friend. Thomas had just embarrassed himself in front of his boss.

He let Dusty Springfield get into his head. Ah, he can’t blame anyone else, it is all him. A moment of stupidity he vows never to do ever again. But then Zack did lean back into him when they were cooking and he didn’t push away at any point.

Thomas doesn’t know what to think. He can’t ever bring this conversation up directly with Zack. Zack who smells so good and feels so good to be so close to.

Thomas then feels a slump of a head on his shoulder.

He pauses his thought and looks over. He had been too wracked with thoughts he hadn’t realised the film is nearly finished and Zack has now fallen asleep. His head lay resting against Thomas’s shoulder. Thomas turns his head fully, getting a nose full of soft sweet hair.

Thomas closes his eyes and tries to move his arm. The moment he moves his arm, Thomas’s head falls further onto his chest. Thomas keeps very still, eyes widening. But Zack is sound asleep, the soup completely empty.

Must be so sleepy from the increase of food.

Zack is breathing heavily and his arm lay limp at the side. Thomas bows his head down, and closes his eyes again, his lips brush against Zack’s head.

He couldn’t read Zack and if he couldn’t read him, it is probably best to leave things. He must be misreading things anyway. Zack has a lot on his plate, he doesn’t need gooey eyes from Thomas.

They were so close in the kitchen; he could have kissed him.

What was he thinking about doing that stupid dance in the kitchen. Ruined everything.

Thomas gently reached over Zack's head and grabs his phone.

Sharon and Andy are still waiting on a response. Thomas really needs to let some steam out.

Having a few drinks wouldn’t harm, they had a good night last time they all went out together.

The thought of Zack not wanting Thomas is actually something Thomas didn’t want to think about, he is scared about how much it will hurt.

Sharon and Andy know a few people who could party hard and Thomas could definitely party hard.

He responds back, ‘Name the time and place and I will be there, guys.’