Puppy for Sale 3.19 - Life After Greenstone - 9. Getting My Head Sorted

"Please, sit down, Puppy. Cindy will be down in a minute. Would you like some tea, coffee perhaps?"

I smiled at Mrs Watson and nodded. "Tea would be great."

Cindy's Mum left the room, leaving me to admire the artwork in the lounge that felt like it kept getting added to. Both the Watson's loved abstract art which I learnt from my Dad was shit splashed up against a canvass and then sold for stupid money. But what did it all mean? I suppose some of it looked attractive but looking at something that had no shape, no face, no meaning? Well, it was hard to get excited.

"Oh, I see you like the Resin Galactica?" Mrs Watson remarked as she floated back into the room.

"Tell me, how is it that someone can name what is essentially some drips and lines. Resin Galactica would be something spaceship and sticky tree stuff, right? I don't get the connection, if I'm honest."

Mrs Watson laughed, coming closer to the picture. "The beauty, Puppy, is that this picture can be anything you want. The artist obviously named it because she felt a connection to what you have described. Or...."

"Or?" I repeated, looking at her. Her gaze on the picture.

"Or it could mean something totally different. What I see in this picture is a mind in chaos. Perhaps depressingly, it could be mine. But to you, it could mean something special if you stare at it long enough.

"Hmm, well, don't bet on it, Mrs Watson; perhaps I'm just brain dead and can't see anything."

Mrs Watson put her hand on my shoulder and gestured me over to the sofa. "Your tea, young man."

"Whooooaa, he's here," Cindy cried as she bowled into the lounge. "My bedroom?"

"Hey, you! Yeah, sure."

I got up, taking hold of my cup, and followed Cindy up to her room. I always smiled when I walked into her bedroom, seeing all the stuff from Greenstone still scattered everywhere. Silly things she had collected or I had given her.

"Today, Puppy, we are going on a journey of self-discovery. So let me hit the music."

Cindy walked over to her Echo Dot and asked Alexa for meditation music.

"What's all this about?"

Get on the bed and put this blindfold on," he said, slightly demanding. "You, my best friend in the whole world, are stressed and in a rut, and I am going to get you out of it."

I did as she asked, taking my sneakers off and laying on her bed, before attaching the eye mask to my face. "Hmm, well, good luck with this," I muttered, laying down, placing my head on her soft pillows.

"So as we leave this plane, we are going far away to a tranquil realm, and on that is yours. Picture an endless field with daisies and thick luscious grass. The sun is warm, but not too hot. A gentle breeze washes over you and cleans away the dirt and grime in your mind. There is a small Golden Retriever Puppy who wishes to keep you company as you lay in the warm grass, the smell of daisies all around."

"Wow!" was all I said, thinking. Actually, I am there.

"Disregard all the men in your life and reset yourself. You are single, living a blissful life. You have no past, only the present, right now. Then, you cast your mind forward, and you wonder who your perfect man would be. You know you must choose someone with no baggage, no history. He must be innocent, uncorrupted and intelligent."

The gentle tones of the music were making me sleepy, and Cindy's soft velvety voice was not helping matters. Nonetheless, I was where she had put me, and strangely, thinking about the fact I was single with no men in my life was pretty easy. Joey, Steven, Hunter, Jack... they were all gone. It was just me.

"But what about...."

"Ut ut ut, hush now, for I am speaking the next lines of your journey. You will sell your property and move back home, forgetting all the stress the building has given you. You will be released from its financial burden, and you will not have sadness, for this is just an object made of brick and cement. It will mean nothing to walk away from it. Your bank account will slowly start to swell at home, and you will spend wisely. Not drinking... too much, and not forgetting you are studying for a degree. Your main focus will return to the dream of working at Greenstone Children's Home, and this will once again become your top priority. As I count back from five, you will glue what I have said into your thoughts and slowly come around. Five, four, three, two... and you're back in this room."

"Fuck, where did you learn that?"

Cindy shrugged. "Youtube."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Cindy played with my hair as I lay in her lap. We were snug on the bed, and she had some commercial radio station gently playing in the background while I told her all my issues. Cindy was renowned at sorting my head out, and it was a skill I'm sure she mastered over the now many years we'd known each other.

"You know, Steven is a bad idea, Puppy. You do need to put a stop to that."

I looked up at her. "Yeah, I know, and I'm just about to move back home to my parents... with Steven!" Cindy stroked the end of my nose.

"Do you still have feelings for him?"

"How can you ask me that? You know the answer. I've always had feelings for Steven. But they blur from family feelings to sexual ones, which is so complicated about him."

"Look, you are not related in any way, shape or form. But, you live in a complicated family setup which means you are related because Max is married to Susan. So, you have got to let this go, Puppy. Tell Steven it is impossible. Because if you don't, you will be stuck in this haze for years and wasting those years. You won't be able to fully settle because you will have Steven in the picture. Then, years down the line, when it does fizzle out, you will be left with regret that you didn't do something sooner."

"You reckon it will fizzle out? I mean, if it did go forward?"

Cindy looked at me, a sideways smirk on her face.

"Are you asking me or asking yourself?"

I sighed at got up off the bed, heading to the window and staring out to a point nowhere in particular. "I wish I was fucking back in Greenstone. I wish I'd never met anyone. Shit, Cindy. I mean, let's face it, life was much simpler then. Everything was done for us, and we didn't have stupid men to watch out for."

Cindy got up and came over behind me, rubbing my shoulders. "Now, now, don't be so dramatic. Puppy, all you've got to do is make firm choices and stick to them."

"Even if they hurt?"

"Yep, even if they hurt. I mean, believe me, finding out Steven was gay... or at least bisexual was devastating to me; we were a couple, after all. But, you know, I knew I had to make the hard choice and set him free."

"Yeah," was all I muttered, letting my head drop.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It all comes down to this, really; all men are shits! I get it, I'm young, reasonably good looking, and apparently, I have the privilege of owning an above-average size penis. But, it makes me wonder what people want out of me. When I think of Hunter, I wonder if it was just my physical being that he was interested in. Is it that people try to control you because they see you as a prize to be kept? Then Steven, What was that about? That had to be physical. Surely he didn't love me? I don't think Steven is capable of loving anyone in the sense of how love is between people romantically. Ahhh, and then Joey. Now, what did Joey want? I learned from Mum that when two people are unhappy in a relationship, one or both of them might want to quickly enter a relationship with another person. She called it a rebound. Apparently, this is what I did with Hunter after Dave, but I don't really understand what she meant by that.

As I walked along the canal to clear my head, I'd become lost in more thoughts. This defeated the object, but anyway, I was dragged from whatever I was thinking about when my cell began to vibrate in my pocket. I took it out; it was a text from Dad.

Dad: Late addon birthday present, or early Christmas present, Pick!

I looked at the text bemused. What the hell did he mean?

Puppy: Pick?

#zzzzp

Dad: Yeah, pick one for the riddle!

Puppy: Okay, I pick an early Christmas present.

#zzzzp

Dad: Either one would have been right. Okay, here is your riddle. Wonderland Catapult! You and Steven have seven days to solve it, or all bets off!

Puppy: WHAT?!

#zzzzp

Dad: Gotta run, this tree is coming down any second.

I shook my head and placed my phone back in my pocket. That was until it went off again.

#zzzzp

Stevie: What the hell is Dad on about? Wonderland Catapult?

Puppy: Beats me, all I know is we have to solve it in seven days. Any ideas?

#zzzzp

Stevie: Nope, and I can't be arsed to figure it out either. Good luck!

I rolled my eyes and again placed my phone back in my pocket. I was now nearing the end of the canal and took a seat on the last bench before a brick wall of a house cut me off. I leant back and took in a deep breath as the cool autumn air, and the sound of distant ducks seemed to wash some of the thinking grime that had built up.

At every turn, my mind was telling me how out of control my life was. It felt like a rollercoaster that just kept going round. I'm screaming at the man who's at the controls to let me off, but I just see a big face in my mind laughing at me. No, you can't get off this ride. You need to be punished for letting yourself get in this mess.

In reality, and as the more logical side of me elbowed its way in, I was very much in control of my life.

I just made bad choices.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Back at my flat, I pulled out a half-open bottle of white wine from the fridge and poured a healthy glass before sitting down on the sofa with my laptop to check my e-mails.

"OH MY FUCKING GOD!" I screamed, almost sending the glass in my hand across the room. My apartment had been valued!

I quickly called Mum.

"Hey Button, you okay?" she asked after the phone brrr'd a few times.

"Mum, guess what? The flat... my flat, erm our flat has been valued. It's worth fifty big ones more than what we brought it for."

"Wow, Sweetheart, that's big news."

"Sure is, and the guy reckons there won't even be anyone daft enough to go in with a lower offer because there will be so much interest."

"I bet it's that new school that's been built just down the road from you. That is a great selling point, Puppy."

"Yeah, erm, so, I mean, If I can get that back, I can pay my Student bills AND pay off my car."

"Whoa, Honey, slow down. What about if you wanted to buy another place... perhaps a cheaper place. You will still need a deposit."

My shoulders sunk. "Yeah, I guess."

"Look, just get the place sold. Dad and I will help in any way we can. Move back home, get your course back on track and let's see where you are."

"Cool, Oh and by the way, I don't suppose you know about the riddle, do you?"

There was silence at the end of the phone for a moment, before she spoke.

"Riddle?"

"Ahhh, C'mon Mum, don't play games."

"Oh, you mean, Princess Glia?"

"Huh?"

"Just some girl your Dad has gone soft for on the TV."

"Mum, what are you talking about, and who is Princess Glia?"

"Well, darling, that is an excellent question. Now I need to get the dinner on. Good luck on the flat, and keep me and your Dad posted."

With that, she hung up! She bloody hung up on me.

Hummmpth!!