A Touch of Blue - 18. Totally Fine!

Zafiro

As soon as I leave the room, I lean my back against the wall in the hallway.

I hear Tin Can whisper to himself, all of a sudden sounding out of breath.

That makes me chuckle.

Wait, I don’t have any of my stuff. My suit is ruined and my phone is missing.

Pulling the shorts out a bit to look at what is left of my suit, I sigh and turn back to the room.

Tin Can is laying on the bed with his hands covering his eyes. His shirt is riding up a bit, allowing me to see that small bit of tummy.

So far this morning has gone by rather nicely.

Nice place to wake up to and now a nice view.

I just need to keep myself from thinking about yesterday with Soul and Cody and...yeah, all of that.

Leaning against the doorway, I call to him.

“Hey, Tin Can,” He jerks himself upright and looks over at me. “Do you have a phone I could borrow?”

He stares at me for a moment before shaking his head from whatever he was thinking. He nods frantically and stands up.

“Uh, yeah, yeah,” He says and walks past me. “It should be in the living room. I’ll get it for you.”

When I start following him, I realize that I am barefoot.

There are are small cuts along my feet but there is a long one that starts from my ankle and runs along the top of my foot.

Of course the scabs are there but when I peel those off, the same stupid pink lines will be there.

Once again my mind is beginning to become clouded with those thoughts about how bad I look now.

I look like an abused animal that was left of the street years ago. I am just one of the lucky ones who survived.

Not like Soul. He did not survive.

My hands start shaking at the rage that is filling my chest. I clench them into fists to keep myself from doing something stupid.

Soon my eyes begin to water and I blink and rub them away.

I will not cry in front of Tin Can.

“How are you feeling,” He asks. Probably trying to break the silence.

I give a small shrug as we reach the bottom of the stairs.

“Like I got hit by hundreds of hammers,” I say, a bit too bitterly.

Tin Can glances at me and frowns. “How about I get you some painkillers? I am sure that will make you feel better.”

I smile and nod.

Honestly I feel like they will not be enough. I just keep seeing blurry images of zombie robots swinging down at me, I see Cody with a wild smile on his face, and I see Soul laying in front of me without the light in his eyes. Just two dead little bulbs.

It is all in a shade of red too. Like the picture’s color were tinted red with some sort of camera filter.

Just thinking of it now is making me breathe faster.

What if they find me again? Are they going to finish the job? Did they mean to keep me alive? I barely remember anything.

Oh my god. I almost forgot the most bizarre thing.

Those wings. Those blue angel wings.

How could I forget? That was the worst part. The excruciating pain that felt like it lasted a whole five years.

Reaching behind me, I run a hand along where one wing should be sticking out of my back.

I chill runs down my spine and I hug myself.

“Here,” Tin Can seems to appear out of nowhere in front of me.

In his hand is a black tank top and two pills. In the other is a glass of water.

Quickly, I pull on the top. Anything to cover some of these scars. I do not want Tin Can to see them. I do not want him to think I am any less attractive. I swear I am the same. I just got a bit beat up is all.

I am the same, right?

“Do you need a jacket?” He asks as he hands me the glass and pills.

“Yes, please,” I say.

That will be better. It will hide more things. Some pants would be nice too.

Tin Can runs upstairs to fetch a jacket for me.

I down the pills and chug the water.

Honestly I did not realize I was so hungry and thirsty. I was busy glaring at all the scars that now litter my body...and my face.

I walk over to the fridge to find something to eat. I also refill my water while I am there.

Tin Can’s fridge is grey and shiny. I can somewhat see my reflection in it. At least in this I cannot see the scars.

Tilting my head, I see that Tin Can has bags of meat, a bag of cilantro, and a small tupperware bowl of salsa verde. The meat even reminds me of the meats you grab from the Mexican stores.

Well that is interesting. I guess he likes Mexican food? A bit fitting based on what happened earlier in that room.

Should I make Carne Asada con Chorizo? He has all the stuff for it. Even the limes.

That would probably be rude honestly. He did fix me up so maybe this can be done another time.

Maybe just a regular peanut butter and jelly sandwich?

Yeah sure why not. A lot faster than cooking the meat anyways.

Grabbing the jelly from the fridge, I look through all the cabinets for bread and peanut butter.

He does have all the ingredients but I see some other things that surprise me.

A giant bottle of Valentina is there, a bag of chiles de árbol, and a can of jalapeñoes.

If I did not know any better, I would think that my Mama was living here.

The meat cuts were exactly the same. There was always a thing of salsa verde in the fridge and always a can of jalapeñoes.

Huh…

Now I know Tin Can is of asian descent, so where exactly did he learn this? I am not saying nobody can cook this kind of food, but Tin Can? That does not seem right to me.

Not that I think he couldn’t learn, but this looks exactly like my old house. Just a fancier version of course. Also it is missing all the candy I would ask for. And I guess all the bugs crawling everywhere.

I feel a small part of me getting excited just from seeing all of this and then I realize I am just bringing myself to conclusions that are way too good to be true.

The last place she would be is Tin Can’s home. That does not even make any sense. It would be a waste of time to even think that was a possibility. Plus, I am here and have been here a few times now. Never seen Mama here so obviously this would be a dead end.

Just pure coincidence that Tin Can seems to like the same things as her.

“Hey,” Tin Can says behind me.

Glancing over, he has a black jacket with the word ‘Wrestling’ in golden letters.

Raising an eyebrow, I take the jacket.

“Do you used to roll around with other guys on a mat?” I chuckle. “Can’t help but feel a little jealous.”

He rolls his eyes but he smirks nonetheless.

“Making a sandwich?” He points to the bread and jelly.

“Yeah,” I say, putting on the jacket and then turning back to spread the jelly and peanut butter.

This jacket is pretty huge. I have to roll the sleeves to make sure I don’t get it dirty.

It does smell quite nice though. It kind of reminds me of vanilla and coffee. Apparently Tin Can is also a coffee maker. Not that I am complaining.

I try to subtly smell the jacket while I work on the sandwich.

I am starting to feel weird again. Maybe it is everything catching up to me? The jacket is somewhat helping me at the moment.

Only for a moment sadly.

Soul’s lifeless eyes keep coming back into my mind and it is starting to make my hands shake again.

He tried to save me. Why? He should have stayed away and kept himself from getting in trouble.

I knew the others in the gang already looked down on him. They considered him as some kind of pet. It was disgusting and it made me mad when I would see him standing outside in the rain.

Soul would look back and forth on the road. A simple Android who would watch all the people scurry by. Who would stare after all the birds as if they were some kind of magnificent creature that decided to grace their presence for him.

I remember I brought Laneer with me and I swear that Android almost had a stroke.

He tried to hide it and keep it down, no doubt confused by his own actions, but I could tell that seeing a dog brought him joy.

Just another thing that was relatable about him.

Now he is gone. Never to look at another bird or dog again.

Cody’s men did that. I am sure that if Cody was down there when all that chaos had happened, then Soul would be fine.

Where is he anyway? Where did they leave his body?

I want to bury him. He deserves to be buried.

A hand touches my shoulder and something in me snaps.

I grip onto the knife I was using to spread the peanut butter and send my elbow back to hit into someone’s stomach.

When I look into their face, all I see is Cody.

Clenching my jaw, I push him back onto the island in the middle of the kitchen and hold the blade to his neck.

Tears are running down my cheeks and I angrily wipe them away with my jacket.

I was crying?

Dammit! I will not look weak!

My vision has gone red and blurry.

Cody’s face begins to morph into other people’s faces. Random guards that I saw. The ones who cut off my wings, even the robots in that trap.

It is terrifying seeing so many faces forming over and over. Molding on top of the other.

I drop the knife in fear and back away.

My eyes widen as the monster stands up taller and approaches me.

What am I supposed to do?

Their hands rise towards my face and I jerk my head to the side, closing my eyes. Waiting for whatever pain will come again.

Instead of pain, I just feel a gentle touch.

My vision clears and I am back in a house.

Tin Can is standing over me?

Oh right. I am with Tin Can now.

Why am I here? What’s happening? How did I even get here? Did I somehow escape?

I do have not have any memories that tell me if that is true.

“Zafiro?” Tin Can says gently. “What’s going on in that head of yours?”

I turn away and try to clean my face off.

“It’s nothing,” I say with my back to him. “I...uh,” what do I say after that? What even was that?

“Zafiro,” Tin Can says, possibly trying to bring me out of my thoughts. He rests his hand on my back.

“How did I get here?” I ask, turning to look at him.

Tin Can shrugs and motions to a bag sitting on the table.

“I found you with that on my doorstep two nights ago,” He says.

“Two nights ago?” I exclaim. “I have been knocked out for two nights?”

He grabs onto my shoulders. “Calm down. You are safe, Zafiro. You do not need to freak out right now.”

How the hell do I not freak out after what just happened? Not just the scary red visions, but everything else.

“Someone dropped you off,” He says. “I didn’t see who however.”

I frown at that.

Did Cody leave me here? Why would he do that? What else has he done to me that he is willing to let me live?

I still can’t believe all this happened because I said no to sleeping with him.

He aggressively said yes so I aggressively said no. I would almost call it fair considering it was literally about to become forced.

My jaw clenches just thinking about that and how he was just watching me fight those hordes of robots.

I want paypack.

“I think it was Arturo’s men,” Tin Can says. “The clothes they left for you were in their colors.”

I blink at that.

“What?” I narrow my eyes. “Why didn’t you say that earlier?”

I walk over to the bag on the kitchen table.

I will be honest. I was expecting more clothes. You know, the regular kind everyone gets. I can easily say I was pretty damn surprised to find a brand new suit sitting in there.

Pulling it out, I lay the suit over the table.

It looks almost exactly the same. Only the sleeves are gone and it won’t be snug around my neck anymore.

Why the fuck did Arturo give me this? Did he make the original suit? If he did, why the fuck did he get rid of the sleeves?

Of all times, this is when I need them the most.

When I first got my suit, it was found on the doorstep of my room at Piggie’s. I had asked if he or Vero had given it to me but they said no.

Naturally, I thought my Mama had gifted me this. As a sort of final goodbye.

That led to some rather depressing nights…

Now I learn it was actually from Arturo? What? Why would he give me this? Or the first one? I didn't even know who he was back then.

“I see you and him are friends again,” Tin Can says next to me.

He runs his hand along new suit. I smirk at that.

“I guess so,” I say.

Does this mean he forgives me for stealing his plans? Maybe he realized that Cody had used me. Arturo has not made me steal anything from Cody before. Obviously this is a first for all of us.

Well, for me at least.

Cody steals from Arturo all the time.

The bag has replacements for everything else as well. A new belt, goggles, gloves and boots. They all are a dark blue now.

Looks like Arturo took to matching them with my eyes. That is nice I guess.

I seriously hope this is not some kind of way to woo me. I already have Cody off my back, or at least I think I do.

Tin Can however, he can woo the fuck out of me. I would be one hundred percent down for it.

His little way of saying my scars are attractive was cute and sweet. That did make me feel a little better.

Doesn’t mean I am not going to hide them though.

Thank god I can wear the goggles to hide the scars on my eye.

I will have to find a jacket that I can wear with the suit. Maybe my leather jacket back in my building over in the poor side? It isn’t huge and all over me and it is black so it will go with the outfit.

I just want to cover up these scars as much as I can.

Now I can’t really help my excitement.

“I’m gonna go put the new suit on,” I grin at Tin Can. “Lemme get that new suit smell!”

He chuckles as I grab the suit, and duck into the guest bathroom.

You know, I am surprised he is not bringing up the fact I attacked him, or asked what happened, or even asked how I healed so fast.

The last two I can somewhat answer.

“Hey Zafiro?” Tin Can calls behind the door.

Oh I guess this is the time.

“Yes?” I strip from my clothes.

“How are you able to move so well?” He says. “I saw how bad you were. All those wounds. Especially on your back. You literally bent yourself in half earlier as if nothing had ever happened.”

Kicking the remains of my suit off, I stare at the mirror.

Now that I am naked, I see the years of all these countless scars, holes, and cracked bones. Now I have more added to my collection. A collection I never wanted.

I pick at any of the new scabs.

“Honestly, I am not too sure about that,” I say as I pick at them. “I am not even sure why my eyes are like this.”

Yeah I wish I knew that honestly. I just know I was born with it. Sometimes I like to think I am one of those mixed Human-Alien babies. Maybe Mama got her freak on and got with some handsome blob man or something.

Whatever it is, it had bright blue eyes that seemed to forever shine.

I love them. They are so different that I want everyone to notice them first when they see me. That is why I wear the eyeliner. It really makes them pop out.

Sadly, I now have some things that have ruined my face for good.

I do not tell Tin Can this however because it is just a guess about my heritage.

“You would have to ask my Mama about it,” I say. “As for the healing in two days, I blame whatever that Augment did to me. I heal fast, but not this fast. It usually takes me a week to get to this scabbing phase.”

I hear him curse on the other side of the door.

“Cody really forced an Augment on you?” He asks.

“Yeah,” I say a bit too quietly.

I have been staring at my reflection this whole time. Glaring at all the errors and flaws that have decided to join the ranks of my other flaws.

In order to stop me from hating myself any more, I get to changing.

“What did it do to you?” Tin Can asks after a minute. No doubt he was too nervous to ask that. I guess I would too if I met someone who were to survive something like this.

I have a feeling I am the rare case where Cody lets someone live after cutting off the wings.

“It gave me wings,” I say. “Wings with blue feathers.”

He is silent again so I get to finishing.

It always takes a good awhile to get into it all, but it is always worth it in the end for me. I feel unstoppable in it.

After recent events however, maybe not so much.

I grab Tin Can’s jacket and pull it back on.

Still have to cover my arms. There is the bonus of keeping his smell with me.

When I am about to put my gloves on, I remember some old scars that make my heart speed up a bit.

Did Tin Can see the cuts on my wrists? It would be very embarrassing if he did.

I had a bit of a rough time after Mama left. The scars never really left and I regret ever doing such damage.

Since I hate looking at them, I shove the gloves on in a bit of a harsh manner.

“Were they pretty?” Tin Can asks out of nowhere.

“Was what pretty? You? Yes,” I say with a smile, leaning my back against the door.

He scoffs behind me. “No, you idiot. Your wings. Were they pretty? I imagine they were.”

All I remember about them was that they were blue and red. Red because they were caked in my blood.

I shiver at the thought and hug myself, wanting the jacket to swallow me whole.

Obviously I give the nicer story.

“Yeah,” I say, staring into the mirror again. “They were soft, blue, and pretty.”

He hums behind the door.

Pushing myself off of it, I open the door. I really need to call Piggie to let him know what happened.

When I open the door, Tin Can falls against me. He was leaning against it.

He catches himself and me in time, but he is a lot closer now. He can’t seem to take his eyes off the scars on my face now.

I narrow my eyes and try to push him off.

Before I do, he all of a sudden says, “You have beautiful eyes.”

I was not expecting that.

I feel my face starting to heat up. Yeah I am not at all used to people flirting back with me. Everyone always ignores me. Tin Can doesn’t for some reason.

Maybe if it was because of the teasing earlier, or maybe it is because he literally took care of me, I decide to mentally say ‘fuck it’ and so I lean up and kiss him.

Once again, he freezes up. His face turns a few shades red and he can’t seem to take his eyes off me now.

I smirk at that.

“What’s wrong, Tin Can?” I say. “Didn’t think I would steal a kiss today?”