A Touch of Blue - 22. Slowly Sinking into Madness

Zafiro

When Mama finishes speaking, I just...I just don’t know what to feel. How am I supposed to respond to this? She would never lie to me would she?

Frowning, I glance back at Tin Can. He looks just as confused as me.

When I try to stand, he blinks and moves off of me.

I stand up but try and keep my eyes off my Mama. This feels too strange and too much. There have been so many things going on for the past few days, I just want a break. I need a nice night where I do not have to worry about anything and everything.

It is strange to know that after mourning over someone for years, you learn that it was all for nothing. They had never died. They were always just across the train tracks.

She never abandoned me. My biggest fear was that she left me alone. To learn that she was forced to leave me here...it sparks a warmth in me that has been gone for a long time.

Rushing to my Mama, I wrap my arms around her and hug the living daylights out of her. Her arms surround me as well and we are hugging again. Just like we used to. Only this time, I am slightly taller.

Of course, she is a few inches taller than me, but still, it feels good to be with her again.

“I missed you,” She whispers, her voice shaking. “You have no idea how many times I wanted to just drop everything and see you again.”

Shaking my head, I close my eyes and bury my face into her shoulder.

I don’t even realize that I have tears running down my cheeks until I feel wet patches on her suit.

“I thought you left me,” I sniff. “All I had was Yinx. You just disappeared. I was waiting all night even after our food got cold.”

She runs her hand up and down my back, her other hand sits on the back of my head.

“I’m so sorry I let this happen to us,” She says. “We should have left as soon as I got that stupid letter.”

Why would she be sorry? I know she did all of this for me. I am just happy to have my Mother again.

Honestly, I just want to stay here forever. I missed being close to her. Knowing that she is very much alive and not at all dead somewhere in an alley almost makes this day good again.

Almost.

Memories of finding Piggie and Vero’s dead bodies only bring my mood further down.

“I thought I was going to be alone again today,” I choke on a sob. “It would have been just like when I was waiting for you to come back, only this time I knew nobody would be coming back.”

Mama leans back to look down at me better.

“What are you talking about?” She frowns. “Alone again? Has something happened?”

With a nod, I wipe my tears away with my arm and try to calm myself down before speaking.

“Piggie and Vero are dead,” I say. “I went to check on them today and I found their bodies in the nightclub. It was a mess, Mama. Everything looked trashed and broken. I...I thought I had officially lost everyone.”

When I break the news to her, Mama’s eyes widen in shock and she looks behind me.

Looking over my shoulder, I see that Tin Can is looking at us with confusion.

When we both look at him, his eyes widen and he brings his hands up as if he is surrendering. He also removes his metal skin.

“Don’t mind me!” He says with a small laugh. “Please do not let me ruin your moment.”

He steps away and moves for the stairs.

“Roy,” Mama calls.

He stops at the foot of the stairs and turns to watch us.

Pursing his lips, he says, “Yes? Something else I'm supposed to learn tonight?”

Mama smirks and shakes her head. “No I believe that is it. Just...I ask that you not call U.U.P.P. I would greatly appreciate if they did not know about this.”

Tin Can simply nods and turns for the stairs again.

“What are the odds that we both know Tin Can?” I ask with a small huff of a laugh.

Mama narrows her eyes but smiles.

“A bit rude of you to call him that,” She says.

Shrugging, I step away from her. As much as I don’t want to, I still do not like when others touch me now.

“You could say it is a bit of a pet name,” I smile.

It has not gone past me that Mama does not seem entirely sad about Piggie and Vero. As for Vero, I guess I can understand, but this is Piggie! He was pretty much her friend. One of her only friends even.

Looks like I will have some good news to tell Ama at least. That is still a call I really do not want to give. Canceling the dinner plans just feels even worse considering why it is being canceled.

“How have you been?” Mama asks out of nowhere. It at least felt out of nowhere to me.

What do I even say to that? Do I mention all that has been happening the last few days? Am I supposed to talk about all the years that she has been gone? She has been working for U.U.P.P. I think she already knows where I am in life at the moment.

Apparently she is supposed to be the one Officer that Tin Can trusts. If that is true, then she already knows about what happened to me with Cody.

U.U.P.P. may be lazy, but they have information. Surely she must know what has happened. She should have been able to connect the dots.

Tin Can seemed to know, so maybe she told him?

Wait a minute. Was she here while I was knocked out for days?

“Zafiro?” A hand squeezes my shoulder and I turn to look at Mama.

“Are you alright?” She frowns.

Slowly nodding I brush her hand off of me.

“Yeah...I couldn't be any better.” I put on a smile. “Just...a lot to handle in one day.”

She purses her lips and seems to watch my face for something. What she could be looking for, I don’t know.

Oh wait. She is probably looking at the new scars on my eyes.

I turn away and move towards the stairs.

“I…” I stumble on my feet while looking back at her with my good eye, “I am going to speak with him.”

She just stares after me as I leave her standing there. Once I lose sight of her, I job up the stairs and walk over to Tin Can’s room.

I find him sitting outside on his weight bench. He is not working out or anything. Just sitting there staring at the city far off behind his house.

There is smoke flying up into the sky.

What on earth is going on over there?

Frowning, I move to stand next to Tin Can. I even lean on the pole holding a punching bag up.

“So how was that?” He asks. “Everything you ever hoped for?”

Interesting. He chose not to talk about the smoke. I don't know why, but I found that kind of funny.

Chuckling, I cross my arms and sigh. “I was not exactly hoping for anything when I thought she was dead.”

“Did you really?” Tin Can turns to me.

Smirking, I shake my head. “Not fully, but a rather large part of me thought she would be gone forever. I was kind of at peace with that. The only thing that annoyed me was that I would never know why she disappeared.”

He nods and turns to stare at the smoke again.

“Well you got your answer,” he says.

I inspect the side of his face now that he isn’t looking at me anymore.

Strange how days ago, he pulled his metal skin out because he was scared of me. Now he is perfectly normal and is not at all bothering to keep his guard up at the moment.

Reaching into a pouch on my belt, I pull out the dog tags I stole from him earlier. I dangle them in front of his face. When he reaches for them, I pull them out of his reach and then walk up behind him.

Funnily enough, he does not even try to snatch for them again. He doesn't even bother checking on what I am doing behind his back.

Have I become predictable to him? Or is he feeling defeated? I guess learning that your partner is actually a thief who was corrupting information behind your back can leave you a little defeated.

I unlock the chain on the necklace and bring it around his neck to clip it back on for him.

This time he looks over his shoulder at me.

Maybe this was a little unpredictable? I like to think it was. I usually never give back what was once theirs.

“Thank you,” He says as he runs his thumb over the tags.

Humming in response, I move to sit on the bench with him. Technically this leaves me with my back towards him, but I know the nerd won’t do anything to hurt me. Honestly he might feel like a criminal himself just for working with me and Mama.

So strange how we both happened to know Tin Can. Pure chance that he was chasing after me I guess.

It must have been weird for Mama to have this big hunk of metal chasing after me every few nights.

Oh god.

That means she heard all the teasing I do with him. Usually I never care what others think of me, but knowing that my own mother heard some of those remarks makes my face turn pink.

“Your mother says that Arturo’s men are attacking the city at the moment,” Tin Can says behind me.

Raising an eyebrow, I turn to him.

“I saw them running into the city,” I say. “Did she say why they were attacking?”

He nods and keeps his eyes on the smoke clouds behind me. Is he trying to avoid looking at me right now?

“She said that they were tired of how the Poor Side was being treated. They were tired of being tired and so now they are fighting back. My guess is the train wreck aftermath not being taken cared of is what pushed it.”

I frown at his words.

Arturo has never really given any vibes of wanting to do something like that. He actually is quite the opposite. He wants to keep everyone on the low. He does not even let his dealers go out in the day. Now he is all of a sudden attacking the city in the daylight? Something is off.

Not just with Arturo however.

“You know all of that,” I say, ”but you are just going to sit here and let it happen?”

Tin Can shrugs and rubs on his arm. “Not really a reason to honestly. I was fired from U.U.P.P. Who knows how many more of them are just like your Mother.”

Well I did not think of that honestly.

“Maybe you can try and find those people,” I say. “Help them out. They are most likely being threatened just like my Mama was.”

He finally looks at me and shakes his head.

“No. I have a feeling your Mom was a rare case,” He says.

I guess I can somewhat agree with that. We still do not know for sure though.

“Well,” I turn to look at the smoke now. “I don’t really mind what is going on over there. I can somewhat agree with Arturo. I just wouldn’t have been so violent about it.”

Another smoke cloud has begun to form. It all seems to be in the middle of the city.

Tin Can sighs behind me. “It is so hard to be mad when I have no reason to.”

I glance over my shoulder. “Nobody is stopping you,” I say. “Be mad.”

Tin Can rolls his eyes. “It isn’t easy to do. I feel like I should be mad about what is going on downstairs, but I can’t. I just witnessed a reunion and it would be stupid to be mad about it.”

I move myself so that we are facing each other knee to knee.

“You can be mad about reunions,” I say. “Nothing wrong with that.”

He shakes his head. “Yeah, but she clearly did it for you. It was a Mother trying to protect her son. I will not be mad about it.”

Tilting my head, I examine his face. He honestly just looks tired.

“Then don’t be,” I say. “Don’t dwell on it. Clearly it is getting to your head.”

He purses his lips and nods. “It’s just...I thought I knew her, you know? I thought I had a friend.”

Ah ok. Now I get it.

“Well, who says you aren’t friends anymore?” I ask. “You’re friends with me, right?”

He gives a small smile at that. “Somewhat. I don’t think friends gives kisses to each other.”

“Sure they do!” I grin and push on his arm. “They just don’t kiss each other on the lips.”

“Which you have done,” He says with glint in his eye. If I am not mistaken, I think he might actually be leaning a bit closer.

I lean back on my hands. Since he seems so playful all of a sudden, lets make him chase.

“True,” I say with a smirk. “Though, that was more of a thank you really.”

He frowns in confusion. “What do you mean?”

Well I really didn't want to point them out but I do. With a sigh, I gesture to my eye and forearms.

“Ah,” he nods and leans back. “Right.”

I grab a fistful of his shirt and pull him back.

“Who said I didn’t need another thank you though?” I smile.

His face turns a few shades red and I hear him gulp on air.

Oh so now he wants to clam up? Silly boy. He was trying to play it out and try and get a kiss. Now when I give him his chance, he gets all nervous.

What a cutie pie!

“F-for what?” he stammers.

Shrugging, I bring my face dangerously close and keep my eyes on his. At the moment, he is staring down at my lips.

Well someone doesn’t know how to be sneaky about it.

“We...we shouldn’t,” he whispers. “Y-you’re Mother is downstairs!”

“So what?” I practically purr out. “Not like she’ll see anything. Seeing some messed up hair never hurt anybody.”

He narrows his eyes and shakes his head. “Why do you constantly act like this is some fun play time? I-It’s not!”

I chuckle before planting a soft kiss on his lips.

When I pull back, I see his eyes are closed and he leans in searching for more.

“Don’t be greedy,” I laugh.

Tin Can opens his eyes and frowns. “You’re the one who is greedy. You started all of this.”

With a smile, I lean in for another kiss. He snakes a hand behind me to cradle my head, that causes the kiss to deepen.

Yeah, he's a greedy bastard.

Is it strange that I am making out with him after everything that has happened today? Maybe. Most likely yes. Especially with a burning city behind me. Not that it kills the mood for me at least...

Do I even know what I am doing at this point?

No, not at all. I am just going along with everything. Going along, but also trying to keep myself first. It does not help that there is wave after wave of life changing news every few hours now. It makes it hard to remember who I am sometimes.

Maybe to some that might sound as thought I don't know what I have grown up to be, but I mean it literally. There are moments, those red hot flashes, where I seem to forget my own name. I swear the thoughts in my head don't even feel like they are my own. It is scary.

Is it weirder that I swear I feel like I can hear another thing going on in my mind as well? It is the ringing again. It is not as loud as it once was of course, but it is constantly there. It almost feels like it is physically pressing into my skull, trying to get out. I swear it is exactly where Ama stitched me up too.

Honestly, it is super distracting. I can’t even concentrate on this kiss with Tin Can right now. Not that it is bad or anything. In fact it feels quite nice. It feels more like a faded memory though, yet, I am right here.

When we seperate, Tin Can has a strange expression on his face. It is a goofy smile. It would probably look normal on literally anybody else but seeing it on him is just weird.

Maybe I should be proud I could do that to him?

“I’ve...never done that before,” He does a small laugh to himself.

Raising an eyebrow, I smile. “What? Never made out with someone? Aw! your poor sweet soul continues to be corrupted by me.”

He gives a bit of a timid nod but he still smiles nonetheless.

Oh now that feels unfairly cute in a way. It still doesn’t take away that this man has the biggest chest I have ever seen. Its so close to me that I could just reach out and squeeze a pec…

Blinking away from those thoughts, I feel a hand touch my cheek.

I freeze.

Tin Can runs his thumb gently along the scars on my eye, careful not to actually poke me or anything.

Normally I would swat his hand away or maybe punch him for staring a the scars, but I see that he isn’t staring at them. He is staring me in the eyes, almost like he can see right through them. It is weirdly calming and I do not know how I feel about it. I do feel heating crawling up my neck however.

“So pretty,” He says.

O-oh okay! Now my face feels like building behind me that are on fire.

I turn away and try to look anywhere else.

“S-shut up,” I say. “I’m not.”

“Yeah you are!” He says with a grin on his face.

I do not know why, but the way he sounded all excited there almost made me believe him. Almost.

My face and stomach feel weird. Maybe a good weird? It hurts at the same time so I just try to ignore his little praises.

“Hey, Zafiro?” he gently calls my name.

With a sigh, I face him again.

“I’m sorry about your friends,” he says, “and...everything else you have been going through. I’m sure it is taking a toll on you.”

“Nah it’s fine! Nothing wrong up in here,” I knock on my head perhaps a little too hard. I even did it over the place Ama stitched up.

“You sure?” Tin Can asks. “You should maybe talk to someone about it. Bottling it up might mess you up. You never know.”

I plaster on a smile and lean up to kiss him.

Thankfully it does exactly what I needed it do. It makes Tin Can forget about what he was asking me and he is kissing me back.

I know keeping things to yourself like this can cause problems. I just know that I do not have any problems at all. I am perfectly fine. Nothing is wrong. Sure I went through a near-death experience and sure all my friends are dead, and of course my Mother’s reappearance almost feels like I am seeing a walking corpse, but who says that you can’t go by without any problems?

Ringing in the brain is perfect normal as well. It was quiet for a short while when those wings had grown out of me. I know it will go away. That, the voices in my head who share their own thoughts, the red visions...

Nothing is wrong at all!