Debts - 7. Chapter 7

- VII -

The whole arrangement was driving him crazy. Julian would be at his apartment every bloody night (except for Sundays); they would have yet another mind-blowing sex-session; and then the blond would inevitably leave, making Raven grit his teeth in helpless frustration. He was perfectly aware of the fact that for Julian, this was nothing more than simply getting off with someone who happened to be willing. “What is it for you then...?” his inner voice whispered softly on one of the nights when the blond was getting dressed after God knows which mind-numbing session. “Damn, Raven... Don’t tell me that you managed to fall for this psychotic son of a bitch...! The man fucking raped you, for crying out loud... Come on...!”

He knew that, of course. However, every time Julian would get off the bed (or whatever place they happened to be at during that particular moment) and reach for his clothes, Raven would feel that nasty, stabbing feeling in his heart; the feeling, which made him grit his teeth helplessly.

“Feels so good...” he would inevitably recall. “...Fucking you...”

That’s all it was, he thought bitterly. Pure fucking, nothing else. He tried his best to get the damn blond out of his mind, but due to Salamander showing up at his apartment with envious dedication, that was out of the question. It didn’t matter if he wanted to erase every single thought of the hateful blond out of his mind; the minute he saw him, he would lose all determination whatsoever. “I guess I am a slut,” Raven would think bitterly after Julian would shut the door behind him yet again. The thought of him falling in love (“Love?!”) with Julian, had never even occurred to him. It was simply too ridiculous.

Today was December 14, and Raven had another job lined up, thanks to Magda, who phoned him five days earlier. This time, they (the same crazy ones who hired him to get the medallion and that bloody rock before) needed a mirror. It was nothing too difficult, just an old house of some equally old woman. It would be almost a game for Raven. At first, he was trying to figure out why in the world those people needed these random objects, but then he just shrugged to himself. They were willing to pay insane amounts of money, so he couldn't care less about their motives.

Today was Sunday, and he spent the entire day inside, enjoying the one day (and most part of the night) of freedom. He glanced at the clock and yawned. It was after eleven in the evening, and he decided to go to sleep soon. He will take care of the mirror tomorrow afternoon, get his money, and maybe take off for real. First of all, that would definitely help him to clear his head, to get the hateful blond off his mind; second of all, it was snowing lately, and Raven hated snow. He was digging in the fridge for a bottle of water when to his astonishment, he heard the door of the apartment opening with a soft creak. “You gotta be kidding me...” he thought numbly.

He slowly straightened up and closed the fridge.

“It’s Sunday,” he said finally.

“I can come back in an hour and...” the blond looked at his watch. “...forty-two minutes,” he nodded.

Raven closed his eyes for a few seconds.

“I thought you were getting your fix,” he said in defeat and opened his eyes.

“I was,” Julian nodded again and walked closer.

“Did you get it?” Raven raised one eyebrow.

“I did,” the blond leaned on the counter, looking quite content.

“How old was he?” Raven sighed, noting that this was another difference between them – Raven didn’t care about kids; he didn’t care about them in any way – having them or fucking them.

“She...” the blond smiled his usual way. “...was ten,” he finished, and Raven sighed again.

“You are one sick fuck, Julian,” he said. “You know that, right?”

“That’s one way to put it,” the blond agreed lightly.

“That’s the only way to put it,” Raven let out yet another sigh. “Strip,” he commanded. “Let’s get this over with.”

Julian’s expression became slightly darker and more curious. Raven gave him a small smile.

“You don’t come here to talk,” he shrugged. “We’ll fuck, you’ll leave...” he couldn’t help but grit his teeth at that. “...I’ll go to sleep,” he nodded. “The usual... So, strip...! Let’s get to it.”

Now Salamander’s expression was quite thoughtful. Finally, he smiled his usual way, and said:

“It’s Sunday. I am not stripping until Monday.”

Raven closed his eyes briefly once again, silently counting to ten.

“Fine,” he said in a very even voice after he finished counting. “What do you want to do for the next hour and a half then? Play chess?”

“No,” the blond smiled again and straightened up. “Let’s go.”

“Go where?” Raven said tiredly.

“I want coffee,” Julian replied, and Raven blinked at that.

“I can make coffee,” he said slowly.

“I know,” the blond nodded. “I want the real thing, however. Let’s go!”

Raven let out another sigh and followed him silently, knowing that arguing with the blond would be futile and extremely bad for his blood pressure.

...“The real thing is so much better, don’t you think?” Julian said fifteen minutes later when they were drinking their coffees inside a small coffee shop.

Raven couldn’t help but smile at the purring, content voice.

“Yes,” he agreed in a low voice and sipped his espresso.

Julian reached for the creamer, and Raven automatically said:

“None for me.”

Julian shot him a quick look.

“I know,” he said seriously. “You like your coffee black; no cream, no sugar. I don’t use sugar...” he shrugged. “Never cared about sweets... I do use...”

“...plenty of cream,” Raven finished with a slight nod, and Julian looked at him without a smile. “I know,” Raven sighed again.

“Yes,” the blond nodded slowly.

“So,” Raven said a minute later. “Since it seems that we are talking like semi-normal people now...”

The blond smiled at that.

“...I am going to ask you a question,” Raven finished.

“Go ahead,” Julian nodded, his expression rather interested.

Raven drank more espresso.

“Were you always this fucked-up in the head or did something happen to make you this way?” he asked seriously, and the blond just blinked at that. “I mean,” Raven continued. “You have to realize that almost all of your kinks are...” he paused. “Disturbing,” he said slowly. “To say mildly...”

“Says the man who gets off on drinking blood,” Julian muttered, and Raven grinned.

“Seriously though,” he finished his espresso and signaled for more. “Were you born this way or did something ‘shape’ you?”

Julian stirred his coffee with a small spoon for several minutes, his eyes thoughtful. Raven gave a quick ‘thank-you’ nod to the barista who brought him another espresso, and the girl threw a cautious look at the blond, who didn’t even glance at her. That was a great thing in barista’s book, judging by the relief on her face, and she quickly walked away.

“I guess it’s a combination of both,” Julian said finally. “I enjoyed pain for as long as I can remember, but I didn’t realize that I enjoyed inflicting it as well until later in life,” he looked at Raven without a smile.

“What happened?” Raven absent-mindedly ran his finger along the rim of the cup. “Did someone refuse to spank you?”

Julian smiled at that.

“No,” he drank some of his coffee. “Someone...” he glanced at Raven. “...did something to me against my will,” he said slowly. “I did not enjoy that...”

Raven slightly frowned.

“You were raped,” he said thoughtfully, and the blond smiled darkly.

“Close enough,” he said, his fingers absent-mindedly turning the spoon in his cup. “I was face-fucked,” he sighed. “For me, that’s worse,” he continued calmly. “It didn’t hurt; it was simply disgusting and very humiliating... That and I nearly choked to death,” he added with a small shrug. “I hated it,” he said thoughtfully. “The whole ordeal lasted for what felt like ever... There were two of them,” he glanced at Raven again. The dark-haired man listened to him silently. “One was doing the fucking while the other one held me down... Then they traded places,” he said with another dark smile.

“How old were you?” Raven asked when the blond fell silent.

“Fifteen,” Julian said calmly.

“Wait...” Raven frowned, and Julian looked at him with a silent question. “You are Salamander...”

“Umm...” Julian said with a puzzled frown. “Thanks for reminding...?”

“What I mean is...” Raven looked at him steadily. “Who in their right mind would face-fuck one of the Salamanders?”

“Oh,” Julian hemmed. “They didn’t know who I was,” he shrugged. “All they saw was a pretty kid with a fuckable mouth.”

“What did you do?” Raven asked after both of them were silent for several minutes.

“I killed them three weeks later,” Julian said simply. “That was when I realized how pleasant it was to hurt someone... The first one died too soon,” he sighed. “Since I went straight for the throat... I didn’t know how it would feel, so I didn’t care about anything but killing him right then. The minute I made that first cut, however...” he closed his eyes for several seconds. “It felt exhilarating...” he said in a low voice. “Such a rush... It felt like the best high ever,” he opened his eyes and smiled at Raven, whose expression was quite interested by now. There was no horror or repulsion in his eyes – just pure interest. “His friend, however, lasted much, much longer,” Julian continued, satisfied with Raven’s look.

“Did you tell them who you were?” Raven leaned on the table with both elbows.

“No,” Julian shook his head. “My family name had nothing to do with that; it was my personal business.”

“The second guy...” Raven set his chin into his palm. “Did he look at you while you were doing it?”

“The whole time,” Julian said seriously. “I made sure of that.”

“Did you fuck him as well?” Raven looked into blond’s lilac eyes, unable to look away.

“Yes,” Julian gave him his usual smile. “He was my first... In more than just one way,” he added with a nod. “He didn’t come though,” he looked at Raven without blinking. “In fact, he stayed flaccid the whole time. I guess it is difficult to grow hard while you are being fucked dry and sliced open at the same time,” he shrugged.

“Yes,” Raven said seriously. “I imagine it would be quite difficult... Unless you are the one in the picture,” he added, and the blond smiled again.

“Therefore, yes,” he nodded. “It is a combination of both.”

“So those two assholes were responsible for unleashing you?” Raven slightly narrowed his eyes.

“Probably,” Julian agreed. “I don’t know if I would ever discover that particular enjoyment if not for them. I also don’t know if I would nurture this side of me without the drive they gave me.”

“Too bad the first one expired too quickly,” Raven sighed.

“Yes,” Julian agreed immediately. “Believe me, it’s one of my biggest regrets.”

“What about kids though?” Raven drank his espresso slowly. “I mean, even with pain aside, what is it about kids that gets you off? I just don’t get it...”

Julian sighed, and for a few seconds, Raven thought that he wouldn’t answer this particular question.

“I am not quite sure,” the blond said slowly, and Raven blinked at that. “There is something about innocence, purity... Helplessness...” he shot Raven another quick look. “See, I like dominance...”

“I know,” Raven said somewhat darkly, and Julian nodded without a smile.

“Nothing makes you feel more in charge than taming a child,” he said in a low voice, and Raven just sighed, musing about the fact that none of this made him want the damn blond any less.

“How old was the youngest kid that you raped?” he asked, and Salamander’s expression didn’t change a single bit.

“Eight,” he said simply, and Raven winced.

“Poor kid,” he muttered. “Must’ve hurt like hell...”

“It did,” Julian said solemnly. “He died from internal bleeding a few days later...”

Raven looked at him without saying anything.

“His mother committed suicide a week after that,” the blond finished.

“Do you even remember his name?” Raven asked quietly.

“Damien,” Julian nodded. “His name was Damien.”

Raven shook his head.

“You are one sick fuck,” he said in a low voice. “And that’s the only way to put it...”

The blond smiled and drank his coffee.

“What about you?” he asked. “Were you always a thief?”

Raven sighed.

“I guess so,” he said slowly. “I always had this...” he paused, searching for the right word. “...obsession,” he continued finally. “An obsession of taking something that belonged to someone else... Not because I wanted or needed it, but because of the whole process... The risk, the planning, honing of the skill... The rush, if you wish,” he looked at Julian. “Plus, with my ability it was even better,” he shrugged.

“Did you ever get caught?” the blond seemed genuinely interested.

“Once,” Raven nodded. “Well...” he glanced at Julian again. “With you, twice...”

“Tell me about the first time,” now it was Julian’s turn to set his chin into his palm.

“I was young and stupid,” Raven sighed, wondering why in the world he felt almost eager to share this with the blond. “I was nine...”

“Huh,” Julian said thoughtfully, and Raven grinned.

“Yeah,” he nodded. “I started early... Anyway, I was nine, and I stole a wallet from this guy, right? Well, instead of keeping the money and disposing of the wallet, I kept the entire thing... It was very soft brown leather, I loved it... That was stupid move number one. Stupid move number two was me waving the damn thing around every chance I got, showing off... Well, one of those days, I whip it out, and the next thing I know, this guy is dragging me somewhere...” He sighed. “He beat the shit out of me,” he nodded. “I seriously thought he would kill me...”

“Did he do anything else to you?” Julian asked without shifting his gaze.

“No,” Raven finished his drink. “He didn’t want to fuck me; he was just pissed off like no other. Well, let me just say, I’ve learned my lesson,” he nodded firmly. “Didn’t get caught after that... Well, not until you, that is,” he added, and the blond smiled. “Holy hell...” Raven muttered after looking at his watch. “It’s twelve-fifty...! I didn’t know this place was open so late...”

“It’s not,” Julian shrugged. “They simply know better than try kicking me out just because they have to close. Usually it’s open until eleven,” he nodded at Raven’s slightly amused look. “You want to leave?” he murmured, his lilac eyes fixed on Raven’s face.

Raven didn’t even bother calling himself any names this time; he simply nodded and said quietly:

“Yes.”

They got up, and Raven threw several bills on the table.

“What are you doing?” Julian asked with confusion.

“It’s called leaving a tip, Julian,” Raven said patiently.

“Why?” Salamander’s confusion deepened somewhat, and Raven sighed.

“Because it’s almost one in the morning and they were supposed to close two hours ago,” he said as patiently as before. “Never mind,” he shook his head when he looked at Julian’s expression. “Just start walking.”

“It’s your money,” the blond shrugged and walked to the door with Raven following him.

“Damn right,” Raven nodded energetically and slightly shoved Julian on the shoulder. “Walk faster, will you...?”

The blond hemmed and obliged. They went outside, and Raven headed towards the car, when Julian put his hand on his shoulder and spun him around. Before Raven could say, ‘What?’ the blond leaned closer, and the next thing Raven knew, Julian’s tongue was caressing his mouth. His eyes closed by themselves and one of his hands slowly made its way onto the back of Salamander’s neck. “Damn, he is a good kisser...” Raven thought hazily when Julian kissed him so slowly that his head was spinning.

The blond started running his fingers through Raven’s dark hair, and the smaller man just shivered at that, and a few seconds later, he let out a low moan into Julian’s mouth, bringing his other hand up as well, and resting it on the side of blond’s throat, his fingers caressing the smooth skin. They kissed for a while, ‘slow’ transforming into ‘hungry’ rather quickly, Raven’s fingers digging into Julian’s neck instead of caressing it. He was moaning pretty much nonstop now, making the blond latch onto his mouth even harder, his fingers leaving Raven’s hair, his arms wrapping around the smaller, slightly shaking by now, man.

Finally, when Raven’s heartbeat became almost frantic, he pulled away.

“I am not doing it outside,” he panted.

“Why not?” Julian asked in equally breathless manner.

“It’s too cold,” Raven answered seriously, and the blond blinked at that.

“Right,” he muttered. “Let’s go...”

“What the hell was that?” Raven thought while following the blond to the car. “That was random, to say the least...” This kiss was indeed random. Oh, sure, he would suck Julian’s mouth quite often, but it would always be when the blond pummeled him into oblivion, and Raven would inevitably draw blood while panting for more. He had no idea what it meant, and it bothered him somewhat. At the same time, however, he enjoyed it immensely.

They got into the car never noticing the barista who kept watching them through the window of the coffee shop, her expression dumbfounded and disbelieving. She watched the car disappear in the darkness of the winter night, slowly shook her head, and muttered, “Holy hell...” under her breath. Then she swiftly hung the ‘Closed’ sign on the door and went to the phone.

“Hey,” she said several minutes later while absent-mindedly wiping the counter. “It’s me... Yeah, I know it’s after one in the morning,” she rolled her eyes. “You told me to call you if I see Salamander do anything out of the ordinary, and you said not to worry about the time... Yeah, he did. He left my shop twenty minutes ago and... Uh huh, next time he stays late, I’ll phone you, and you can tell him to get the hell out because we need to close,” she nodded energetically.

“Anyway...” she continued. “...shut up and listen, I want to go home, I am tired... He wasn’t alone; he was with some guy. They sat here for almost two hours, just talking and drinking coffee, it seemed. At first, I figured it was some sort of a business meeting or something, you know...? Then they left finally; and when they got outside, Salamander kissed that guy, can you believe it? Oh, it gets even better...! The guy kissed him back! They were making out like no other...! I definitely think it’s out of the ordinary... I mean, even with the fact that someone is willingly fucking that freak aside... No, he didn’t hurt him or anything! He just kissed him, that’s all... He looked like he was...” she stuttered for a second. “...gentle...!” she finished finally.

“I don’t know his name,” she frowned slightly several minutes later. “How in hell would I know his name...? He was interesting though... His eyes were different colors; one was...” she stopped talking and frowned deeper. “Yeah, that’s right...” she said slowly. “Do you know him, then...? I see... Well, anyway, I am going home; I am exhausted. Just wanted to let you know... You are welcome. Bye!”