Krista's Prompts - 4. Prompt 352

Prompt 352 – Creative

Tag – First Line

“I can’t believe you asked him that...

 

“I can’t believe you asked him that!” Janelle screeched once the door closed behind us. Every day I walked home from school with her. She lived only a driveway and a fence away. I had been mean to her when we were little until I figured out that girls could get me out of trouble better than myself. They just seemed to believe her side of the story better than mine.

 

As we grew older, she remained my best friend. Although, I was no longer able to convince her to play soccer in the backyard or go to the park with me when I went through that short lived skateboarding phase. I had to endure shopping trips and changing rooms. Her dad was a legitimately successful real estate agent, so she took a lot of trips on his credit cards. I had taken it all in stride though, because she cornered me one day during middle school in the mall’s food court one afternoon and asked me if I was gay. Then she laughed when I choked on my french fry.

 

I didn’t come out to her right then. In middle school I was a shy little chicken that was in desperate need of a growth spurt and peach fuzz. Being about as loyal as a dog, she didn’t drop me when other boys took interest and she made the gymnastics team.

 

By the 12th grade, my growth spurt had come. I went from a 5’7” bean pole to a lean muscled soccer player just shy of six feet tall. I also had to tell Janelle that she was right back in middle school. After girls started noticing me and I kept making up excuses not to go hang out with them after school or on weekends. Soccer practice and study sessions with Janelle had taken up a lot of my time as it was.

 

Instead she tried to covertly set me up with a few guys she also thought was gay. The shyness I had back in middle school though, never left me completely. Compliments and out right flirting always made me blush and clumsy.

 

“You told me to grow a pair, Janelle,” I said, my heart still hammering in my chest. “You keep telling me to, even after I dropped my shorts and showed you I already had some.”

 

“Yeah and that scarred me for life,” she countered slapping me on the shoulder as we walked up the stairs to her bedroom. Her parents long gave up the fight over a closed bedroom door between us. We had never dated, so they had eventually stopped worrying.

 

“You’ve seen ballsacks before, unless you lied about last summer,” I said and she shook her head unzipping her backpack, pulling out her Calculus book. Being the only reason I had a decent B for the class, I sighed and retrieved mine.

 

“The cutest guy in school though,” She muttered rolling her eyes. “And you showing me your junk is like seeing my father naked, you totally ruined my buzz that night.”

 

“You were about to leave with Sure Shot Reynolds you needed saved,” I said and she laughed, a blush flushing her cheeks.

 

“Thanks for that,” she said knowing the reputation Eric Reynolds had with girls. Janelle made it all through high school not making it into his notebook of shame.

 

“Always,” I said and like we did since we were kids we laid on our stomachs perpendicular to the head of the bed and started working on our assignment for tomorrow.

 

“The big match tomorrow?” She asked after punching something into her calculator. I glanced over at her work before nodding my head. She squinted when I erased my answer and started over. Her parents always fussed over her education. They expected her to be near the top of the class. She knew as long as I had everything hovering around a B or an A that I didn’t care too much about it.

 

“Thursday,” I answered smiling. “I have practice tomorrow.”

 

“Damn, I wanted you to come with me when I picked out my dress,” she said frowning. “I’ve been putting it off until I had a date.”

 

“I told you I’d go,” I said glancing at her. She smirked then put her pencil down.

 

“Thanks,” she said, “but you beat me to it by asking Daniel that question.”

 

“You wanted Daniel to ask you to the dance?” I asked wincing when her eyes narrowed.

 

“What did you expect to get out of asking him to hang out Saturday night?” She asked propping her head up with the palm of her hand. I rolled over and sat up, still somewhat in shock that I asked someone out on a date this weekend.

 

“You sort of pushed me to it with another ‘grow a pair’ lectures,” I answered watching as she sat up.

 

“And who knew today would be the day,” she countered reaching up and smoothing out her long dark brown hair. It was naturally curly, but she meticulously straightened it every morning. I had spent many hours watching her go to work in front of her mirror. My arms crossed over my chest to keep myself from glancing down at my watch or my phone, knowing that we would be late to whatever we had planned. I had to admit she was incredibly pretty, in a small package. Being only about 5’2” we looked odd walking side by side. Especially when I said something stupid and she would catch me off guard and shove me off balance. “You aren’t even this ballsy drunk.”

 

“I know,” I said my heart seemed to be pounding in my chest as I thought back on approaching Daniel. He stood unsuspecting on the sidewalk between the science building and the main building that housed the gym, a few class rooms, the cafeteria, and front offices. He had been texting on his cell, leaned up against a light pole. There was nothing special about Daniel, he wasn’t the captain of the football team or anything that made him stand out. I didn’t know much about him, never had a class with him where we sat close enough to talk.

 

He was just the one guy that my eyes drifted to or unexpectedly would find in a crowd of people. Apart from trying to set me up with the obviously gay guys around town, Janelle and I never talked boys, unless she was pissed off at her current boyfriend. All I had to do in those moments was agree with her, no matter how wrong I thought she was. Or how little or insignificant the crime committed seemed to be. I got brownie points just for nodding and smiling. So it never occurred to me, that we had eyes on the same guy. So much so, that she was trying to get his attention and breach his defences long enough to make a lasting impression. Hoping that he would honor the attempt with a date for the dance.

 

“There’s no way he’s gay,” she finally said after we had a silent staring contest.

 

“You say that about all the guys you like,” I said playfully grabbing her knee and tickling it.

 

“Well I seem to have a better gaydar than you,” she jabbed pushing my hand off her knee. “Since I find you all those guys and you never date them.”

 

“Because I…” I started, knowing I was getting into dangerous waters now. I never dated them, not because I found something wrong with them. It was because I didn’t want to be seen out dating. Even though we lived in a big progressive neighborhood, with a thriving Gay Straight Alliance group at school, I never wanted to join in. My parents probably knew by now that I was gay, I never brought any girls home to meet them. Only guys, straight and safe guys. To play video games or pool in the basement. They didn’t know that I was secretly hoping for a good crotch shot or for their shirt to ride up when they bent over to take their turn on the pool table. Nothing would have ever happened. Even if it did, it wouldn’t have lasted long enough for anyone else to know.

 

“Because you’re a chicken shit, I know,” she said finishing what I was about to say. Glaring at her I picked up my pencil and slid my text book into my lap.

 

“I’m okay with who I am,” I countered, “I just don’t want people to know.”

 

“Which is a contradiction you are well aware of,” she argued grabbing her own book. “You won’t lose your jock membership if you’re caught kissing a guy.”

 

“It’s not about soccer,” I said squirming where I sat. “I’m just shy about it.”

 

“Well get over that hon, because no one is gonna put up with it,” she argued picking up her calculator.

 

“You put up with it,” I said jotting down the next problem on my notebook paper before I made my first attempt at solving it.

 

“I’m not dating you,” she said, “if my boyfriend didn’t want to be seen with me, I would totally dump him.”

 

“Thank you for that,” I said sighing as I tried to peek over at her work. She was a few ahead of me, but when she saw me she held her hand over her work shooting me another glare.

 

“It’s true and you know it,” she said, leaning over to study my work. “You got that one right, by the way.”

 

“Thanks,” I said looking at the next one in the book.

 

“You just have to realize how much you can give to somebody,” she said smiling. “Which is a lot, you’re totally gorgeous and I can watch that ass bounce in those soccer shorts all day.”

 

“Enough of that shit,” I said feeling my face flush.

 

“You’re also very considerate and kind, it damn near breaks your heart to lie,” she continued and I felt myself shrinking away from her on the bed. “You drive a sexy car.”

 

“It’s a Ford, there’s nothing sexy about those,” I countered and she laughed looking down at her homework.

 

“Well I’m finished,” she said and I watched her close the book and her notebook. “We have to finish off our report for Chemistry though, lab partner.”

 

“Already finished it,” I said and she smiled. Where I suffered in math, I made up for it in science.

 

“If I make you brownies, can I see it?” She asked leaning in to me.

 

“You wouldn’t let me cheat off you,” I answered, “you have a better grade than I do in there anyway.”

 

“I have gymnastics tonight until ten,” she said a slight whine in her voice. Her dark brown eyes found mine and I knew I was a goner when she pouted.

 

“Oh,” I said knowing how grueling her schedule was. She was being privately coached, with her grades and talents in the gym there were a lot of colleges interested in her. “Can I come watch?”

 

“No we’re working on my balance beam routine,” she said, “he gets really mad at me.”

 

“Tell him you’re quitting after college,” I said knowing she didn’t really like gymnastics, she just happened to be good at it. Her parents, as busy as they are, also took time off to go watch her. We both knew that was the reason she put up with the sport at all.

 

“He would fall over dead,” she countered, “and then come back from the dead and call my Mom.”

 

“Yeah,” I added laughing as I dug my notebook out of my bag and handed it to her.

 

“Thanks love,” she said kissing me on the cheek before she bounced off the bed and left me to finish my Calculus homework by myself.

 

By the time I finished sneaking a peek at Janelle’s work behind her back, I smelled the chocolate sweet smell of the cooking brownies from the bedroom. Satisfied that I only had to quickly erase and correct two answers I put everything away and went down stairs.

 

“Those smell good,” I said as I entered the kitchen. She was reading over the lab report, flipping back between the information we gathered and our grafts.

 

“Thanks,” she said, “I need to get a shower. I’ll give you the notebook in the morning.”

 

“Alright,” I said shrugging and she walked around me and back up the stairs. I was comfortable in this house it nearly felt like my own home. Every house on this street was a cookie cutter version of the rest, just different paint and color schemes. Different landscapes out front kept people from pulling into the wrong drive thinking they were already home. It was a boring street and most everyone kept to themselves. Looking out the window to the small back yard I remembered all the times I played back there. It used to be a yard littered with toys and a sandbox. Now it was just a square lawn with with a few rose gardens along the fences that divided every yard.

 

When the brownies finished cooking and the timer dinged I got them out and cut them into neat squares. Then I grabbed a bowl from the cupboard and put the biggest piece in my bowl. Knowing I would be running it off tomorrow in practice I inhaled before I grabbed a fork and started eating.

 

“God those smell good,” Janelle said and I jumped and looked over at her. “I’ll be glad when I can finally eat those things.”

 

“Too bad, you’re fucking good at making them,” I said patting my stomach and she smirked her hair in a braided bun. She was in a warm up suit and had her bag draped over her shoulder.

 

“Lock the door on the way out,” she said offering me a smile. “You totally forgot last time.”

 

“Shit,” I hissed and she smiled. “I’ll just leave when you do, let me get my backpack.”

 

“Alright,” she said leaning against the kitchen counter as I jogged past her and up the stairs to her room. I quickly grabbed my backpack, knowing her coach would be pissed if she showed up late and went back down stairs.

 

“So, you going to make your move on Daniel?” I asked as I followed her through the living room and out the front door. I watched her lock it behind us and she glanced up at me.

 

“Of course I am,” she said, “better person win?”

 

“Right, like I’m fucking lucky enough,” I answered and she studied me for a moment.

 

“Maybe you will,” she offered, “but you can’t get in your own way.”

 

“I know, I know,” I said dismissing another oncoming lecture. She smirked and I had to lean down for her kiss me on the cheek before she darted to her car. I waved as she backed out into the street and left. I walked around the chain link fence to my own yard and fished out my key to the front door. Mom was a nurse with long hours and Dad owned an auto body shop in town. Neither of them would be home until late so when I stepped through the door I walked over to the phone. Knowing the number to my favorite chinese place, I dialed and ordered my food. I was nearly on a first name basis with the guys that worked there, having just myself here for dinner most of my life.

 

That was life for everyone here though, Mom and Dad made sure I was looked after when I was too young to stay by myself. They also did their best to make sure I didn’t feel lonely. As I grew up and got into soccer, I didn’t spend a lot of time here, especially after I turned sixteen and could drive. If I got too stir crazy I would walk around the mall or go shoot basketball in the park.

 

After changing into a pair of shorts and a tank top for my evening jog, I grabbed a plate and fork waiting for the delivery guy to get here. When the doorbell rang I put the dishes on the coffee table in front of the television and opened the door. Daniel stood holding up my bag of food, looking at me he blinked a few times obviously remembering our earlier interaction.

 

“You live here?” He asked looking down at the directions on my receipt. When he looked up at me I offered him a quick smile.

 

“Yeah I do,” I answered holding up the cash in my hand and the five dollar tip I always gave the drivers. Not having enough time for an afternoon or weekend job I was at the mercy of my parents. I actually looked forward to the time where I would have enough time on my schedule for my first job. My soccer career will officially ending after the season. The team was good, but not many of us were good enough to play in college. I planned to try and live it up after graduating and getting out of here. I would try to go where Janelle was accepted, we joked about Harvard, Yale, or Stanford, but we both knew I wouldn’t make those. I would let her go if her heart were on places like that, maybe it would be for the better. Part of me leaned too much on her friendship, maybe if I had to make a few friends on my own it would finally help bring me out of my own way.

 

“Joshua Paige?” He said, the question barely expressed in his tone. I wanted to just grab my food and shove the money into his hand, but he hadn’t really offered it to me yet. Hearing him acknowledge who I was, caused me pause. I only wished I could read him, but I sucked at that.

 

“When did you start working at The Little Dragon?” I asked and he seemed to snap out of his daze. He looked down at the food and held it out for me.

 

“This week, I needed the money for a car part,” he answered and I reached up and took the food, handing him the money with my other hand.

 

“I just order from there a lot,” I mumbled and I saw his eyes squint slightly.

 

“Okay,” he responded and I realized I just blurted out something he didn’t really want to know in the first place.

 

“Well, see you later,” I said and I saw his eyes widen and he reached out to stop the door.

 

“What?” He asked studying me.

 

“I mean at school tomorrow,” I said and he blinked and a tight smile formed on his face.

 

“Oh, right,” he said looking behind him to the black delivery car that had the name of the place on the door the number below it.

 

“Bye,” I said and he took a step back and I closed the door after he turned to leave. I leaned against the door, my shoulder painfully pressing into the smooth wood. I cursed myself under my breath shaking my head. The look on his face told me that he definitely remembered the awkward exchange at school. It happened only hours before, so it didn’t surprise me that he wouldn’t remember. I just didn’t expect to see him so soon. In school he likely would have played it off with a quick smile, or ignore me completely. It wasn’t like we were friends. He owed me nothing, but I owed him an explanation. The confusion on his face earlier told me that, but it wasn’t likely I would give him one.

 

“You’re so fucking stupid Paige!” I hissed gripping my bag of take out tighter in my fist. Then I walked around the couch and dropped it on the table. Getting the boxes out I dumped the contents on my plate. The complimentary fortune cookie landed in my citrus chicken stir fry. I grabbed it and opened the plastic wrapper Cracking it open I looked down at the small script and squinted. “Chances taken will be met with success.”

 

Rolling my eyes I wadded up the little piece of paper and shoved it into the empty box along with the crumbs of the cookie, not really liking them. I flipped on Sports Center to see if there would be an exciting game on tonight. Not seeing anything I put the remote down and started eating, half ignoring what the newscasters had to say.

 

Finished eating I took the trash and my dirty plate into the kitchen. Dropping the trash into the bin and the plate with my fork in the sink I reached up and stretched groaning when my back popped. Then I sighed glancing at the digital clock on the microwave. It was still a long time until Mom and Dad would be home, not getting in until around eleven every night. They went straight to bed. We would see each other in the morning. They would be drinking coffee and talking about what each of them missed yesterday in one another’s lives and in mine if I got down in time. If not I’d kiss Mom on the cheek and smile at Dad before downing a glass of orange juice then I would walk over to Janelle’s and we would walk to school.

 

Knowing I shouldn’t run on a full stomach, but not wanting to be alone in the quiet house I decided to just take a short jog around the neighborhood. So I checked my shoelaces when I stood outside on the porch and made sure the hidden front door key was still there under the flowerpot on the far corner of the house. After picking the direction I set off in a slow jog towards school, knowing it would be a smaller circle. Spring was on the edge of summer, but it never really got cold here. So it wasn’t long into my jog when I felt my shirt begin to cling to me.

 

We only had a couple of months left until graduation. Two and a half or something, I didn’t want to count down the days. Over all I liked high school. I knew I hadn’t made the most of it, but I did things I would remember for a long time. Like climbing to the top of the water tower with Brad and Brandon Porter. Winning State last year was one of the highlights, especially since I scored a goal during the match. Not the winning one, but the plaque in the trophy case in the administration building would always have my name with the official time I scored the goal beside it.

 

I could have had a few more friends. The team liked me well enough. We partied together and I would probably keep in touch with a few of them after graduation. Might even end up with a few of them as roommates in college if I stay closer to home. My stupid shyness got in the way sometimes and those times are what I regretted. Apart from the State Championship, I didn’t share many defining moments with any of them. Like the time at a party when the team wanted to pull a joke and go running into the ocean bare assed. I was the only one that didn’t. It wasn’t likely to make me closer to them in any sort of way, hell they probably would include me into the story regardless. They were all buzzed and wanting to get a few girls to notice them. I would know that I didn’t though. Such small things, but it was an opportunity to be included in a stupid story from our collective youth and I didn’t do it.

 

When I got to the high school I turned into the circular school bus driveway and looked around. There was a track meet going on around the track that circled the football field. A bus was parked in front of the school, probably about to take the volleyball team to an away game. It was a large campus, there was four hundred seniors in my class alone.

 

I guess what really made me look back is the excitement I never really felt. I hadn’t felt the feeling of first love. I hadn’t had sex, although Janelle and I did nearly go there one night her parents weren’t home. We both had too much alcohol and she dared me to kiss her. Being drunk, I did. It probably looked sloppy and giggly, but the kiss escalated into an attack on both our clothes. She pulled my t-shirt off over my head and I ripped open her blouse, buttons went clattering on the hardwood floor.

 

What stopped us is that I didn’t know how to unhook a bra and she was too drunk to get the clasps too. As I was taking a second try at it she undid my belt and tried to pull it through the loops in one forceful motion, but she pulled the wrong end and the force of her tug sent me sprawling out of bed. I smacked my head on the corner of her nightstand and cut my eyebrow. The blood sobered us up pretty quickly. After she ran into the bathroom across the hall and grabbed a washcloth we sat in the floor laughing until it stopped bleeding.

 

Remembering that night I reached up and rubbed my finger over the thin white scar. It didn’t cause any weird moments. I doubted that it would even if we had went all the way. She knew I was gay in every way that mattered and it was a funny story to bring up when it would cross our minds.

 

I had to keep telling myself there wasn’t a set in stone checklist that we had to go through in high school. That not everyone fell in love, had sex, pranked a rival team, or whatever. That those things didn’t really matter. I was happy, but the memory of feeling exhilarated never really happened.

 

After taking the circle around the parking lot. I started towards home. When it was all over I would only be jogging around a half a mile. I only did this to get out of the house and clear my head, not really for exercise. I got enough of that with soccer to keep me fit and feeling good.

 

I slowed down to a walk when I approached my house. The drive was still empty. It would be a rare day for all of us to be home early, so I pulled my shirt off when I bounded up the stairs. I wiped the sweat from my hair and then I ran it down my chest and arms as I walked to the far corner of the porch. I lifted the flowerpot just far enough to grab the key taped to the underside of it. Then I let it down and walked back over to the door and unlocked it.

 

Once inside I quickly grabbed a fresh piece of tape and put it on the key and hid it back under the flowerpot for the next time I would need it. Then I locked the door behind me and bounded up the stairs to my bathroom.

 

I quickly washed my hair and body. Then I stayed under the gentle spray of the hot water. Looking around, the glass was steamed up, along with the mirror above the sink. I didn’t have to share this bathroom with anyone, there were two down stairs if you counted the ensuite.

 

When the hot water started to cool I turned it off and stepped out of the shower. I grabbed a towel and ran it over my body and through my hair until I was no longer dripping. Then I wrapped it around my waist. As I stepped out of the bathroom and into the hall, I heard a knock on the door. Thinking it was probably the Mormons that stopped by every so often I sighed. I didn’t want to leave anyone hanging outside by the door while I dressed so I made sure the towel was secured and walked down the stairs. I glanced out the window beside the door and saw a car. Knowing it wasn’t the Mormons, but not recognizing the vehicle either, I cracked the door open just enough to see out it.

 

“Joshua,” Daniel said his hands at his side. He was still dressed in his uniform and I could smell the restaurant on him.

 

“What are you doing here?” I asked as I opened the door wider. I saw his eyes widen when he saw that I was only in a towel. When his eyes found mine again, he took a step back.

 

“Sorry I didn’t mean to bother you dude,” he answered and half turned to head back down the front stairs to his car.

 

“You’re not,” I answered then looked down at myself. “Could you wait a minute?”

 

“Yeah,” he said and I hesitated thinking that if I left the door I wouldn’t see him standing on the porch when I got back.

 

“Do you want to come in?” I asked and he looked out across the front lawn, his eyes seemed to be looking about as far as he could. He was thinking it over and weighing his options.

 

“I guess that’s a better idea,” he answered swallowing as he turned back to me. I left the door open for him and offered him a smile before I turned and nearly tripped over myself as I hurried up the stairs to my room.

 

In there I quickly ripped my drawer open and grabbed a pair of shorts. Dropping my towel I pulled them on. I hesitated for a few moments deciding on wearing a shirt or not. Remembering his discomfort at the door, I sighed and tugged on a tank top. Closing my bedroom door behind me I bounced back down the stairs to see him hovering by the couch. The door was closed and I chewed on my cheek to keep from saying anything stupid. I didn’t know if he was here to try and kick my ass or yell at me. He didn’t seem like he was angry, but looked just as unsure of himself as I was.

 

“What’s going on?” I asked coming to a stop a few feet away from him. He glanced at the television that I left on. I quickly walked around the couch and grabbed the remote, hitting the power button before I sat it back down.

 

“I wanted to talk to you about this afternoon,” he said his voice careful. There was tension in his shoulders. His usual faux hawk was pushed down from the black cap he was wearing when he dropped off the food. I could still see the remnants of one now.

 

“Are you still supposed to be working?” I asked and he shook his head.

 

“Slow night,” he answered shrugging. “New guy gets sent home first I guess.”

 

“Oh,” I offered and I noticed that the couch was the only thing between us now. “Want to sit?”

 

“Sure,” he said and I sat down on the couch and he sat on the other end of it as far away as the couch allowed. When a silence fell between us, I wondered if he was about to lose his nerve and leave. I didn’t want to bring it back up, my stomach in a knot. I braced myself for the shit that was surely to hit the fan. I silently cursed Janelle over her teasing. If she had left well enough alone, I would have had a momentary lapse in judgment. “Shit.”

 

“What?” I asked and he looked over at me.

 

“Why the fuck did you ask me to hang out Saturday?” He asked and I blinked fighting the urge to clam up and not say anything.

 

“I don’t know,” I answered, “I guess I was just tired of Janelle’s bitching about me being shy.”

 

“Oh,” he said and I saw some of the tension in his shoulders relax. Then he seemed to think about what I told him and he shot me a wide eyed glare before looking away. “Why me, though, you don’t even know me.”

 

“You,” I said and he turned back to me. Not wanting to answer him, knowing I would have to explain more than I ever wanted to explain. I finally just shrugged.

 

“You made it sound like a date or something,” he said, “I guess I’m just wondering why you thought I would be, you know.”

 

“Interested?” I asked and he hesitated, but nodded. “I don’t know that.”

 

“I’m not,” he answered and for some reason the blow from his response hit me harder than I expected. I had already told myself that it was stupid and a little crazy to ask him. Then he turned farther around and studied me. “Are you?”

 

“Interested?” I asked and I saw his eyes narrow, but he smiled.

 

“No, are you gay,” He asked and then the bottom seemed to fall out of my stomach, like it did riding a rollercoaster.

 

“Depends on who asks,” I answered and he surprised me when his smile widened and he laughed.

 

“That’s not how that goes, right?” He said his smile fading.

 

“Well it might save me from getting my ass kicked,” I said and he frowned, the tension returning to his shoulders.

 

“I couldn’t kick your ass if I wanted to,” he said cocking an eyebrow. “So you asked, not knowing anything about me?”

 

“I did,” I answered nodding my head. “I’ve cursed myself over it about a hundred times by now, so you can save your breath.”

 

“Took balls, dude,” he countered smiling. “Do you think I could have been gay too?”

 

“No,” I answered, “I can’t really pick guys. Janelle is better at it really.”

 

“I thought she was your girlfriend,” he said, “until I would see you two at parties or something.”

 

“No, just my best friend,” I said and he nodded.

 

“Does she think I am?” He asked and I laughed shaking my head.

 

“She thinks you’re hot,” I said hoping that at least he would leave thinking Janelle wanted him. Maybe if he asked her out, she could finally buy that dress to the dance.

 

“Oh,” he said seeming to relax again. “Do you?”

 

“Is that why you dropped by?” I asked ignoring the question that made my face flush. I didn’t want to answer knowing it wasn’t going to change anything if I did. “To make sure we didn’t think you were gay?”

 

“No,” he answered turning where he sat again. This time he bent his knee and turned completely towards me. Silence fell between us then as we stared at one another. Maybe if I was better at reading people I would be able to guess what was going on in his mind. We seemed to be done talking about what brought him here, even though he told me that it wasn’t the reason. He just wanted to make sure his sexuality wasn’t in question. That he could go on and not have to wonder what people thought they saw when they looked at him. It was something I always wondered. No one would say anything outright and the guys that Janelle picked out for me, never held it against me. People thought Janelle was my girlfriend all the time. When people asked, we would both deny it. Saying that we were one another’s best friend. It was odd that we were. It was more common for people to have best friends that were the same gender. I should be hanging out and helping a guy hit on chicks and him me. Like the guys on the soccer team. She should be friends with the cheerleaders since she used her gymnastics to make the team. Even though she hated acting peppy at sporting events. She usually wanted to sit in the stands with me and after half-time would sneak away and do that until her coach would catch her and round her back up.

 

“Well no one probably thinks you are gay,” I said and he blinked.

 

“Fuck,” he hissed leaning back against the arm of the couch. “I don’t care what people think.”

 

“Okay,” I said annoyed with myself for being so clueless.

 

“What do you want to do Saturday night?” He asked and I turned to look at him.

 

“I’ve not thought that far ahead,” I answered shrugging. “Probably beer and pool in the basement since, you’re, you know, not interested.”

 

“Have you ever been on a date?” He asked and I saw him lean forward slightly. He was curious and I felt my face flush. I suddenly wished I had stories to tell.

 

“Not really, Janelle found me guys and told them what I liked to do,” I answered squirming where I sat knowing I sounded like a loser. “Pretty fucking boring doing what you always do.”

 

“What would you choose?” He asked and I thought I heard a hesitation in his voice. Like it was about to fall to a whisper. He didn’t seem uncomfortable though, not as uncomfortable as I suddenly felt anyway. Now I was the one that wanted to stand up and bolt, but since I lived here, I couldn’t.

 

“I don’t really like to be around people,” I said, “not when I’m with a guy, so probably a packed picnic on the beach.”

 

“That’s like two hours away,” he said, “you would drive that far out of your way for a dinner?”

 

“For privacy,” I said and I saw his eyes widen. Then for the first time I could read what he was thinking and felt my face flush. “Not that kind of privacy.”

 

“Right,” he said and I heard the disbelief in his tone. He smirked and turned away from me to glance at his watch.

 

“It’s not like it would be boring,” I said, “I think if I liked the guy well enough we could talk about stuff.”

 

“What sort of stuff?” He asked turning back to me.

 

“I’m fucked, I don’t know,” I said and he laughed. Hearing him laugh, I couldn’t keep from it either. When we both fell silent he smiled.

 

“I guess that was an unfair question,” he said, “you would have to know who you would be in the car with.”

 

“Yeah,” I said shrugging. “I’ve not met anyone that I would make the effort for though.”

 

“What would you talk about if it were me?” He asked and I bit down gently on my bottom lip. Not really knowing what I would talk to him about.

 

“Your taste in music?” I asked and he smiled.

 

“Pretty much rock,” he answered, “nothing too hardcore.”

 

“Yeah,” I offered, thrown off that he answered my question. It wasn’t something I was asking, I was just throwing a suggestion out there. I couldn’t help feeling closer, knowing though.

 

“What else?” He said, “Music can only get a person so far.”

 

“Sports?” I asked and he laughed.

 

“Is this when you brag about soccer, how you scored a goal during the State Championship?” He asked and I frowned shaking my head.

 

“No,” I answered then smiled when he laughed again. “I don’t think I would brag anyway. So you were there?”

 

“The entire school was,” he answered and I felt a slight disappointment, but didn’t know why. Part of me wondered if he noticed me and made the trip.

 

“You don’t seem like a soccer fan,” I said and he smiled.

 

“I’m not,” he said, “football and basketball.”

 

“Figured,” I said and he shrugged trying not to laugh.

 

“So you don’t have any moves?” He asked, “If the car ride to your spot on the beach didn’t bore the fuck out of us, how would you keep it going?”

 

“A walk?” I asked, “After we ate.”

 

“Boring,” he said laughing when I frowned.

 

“I always have a soccer ball in my car,” I said shrugging. “I’m not good at this sort of thing, so I don’t know.”

 

“So if I had said yes,” he said, “you’d what? Cancel last minute?”

 

“No,” I argued crossing my arms. When he smirked, I sighed and let them fall back to my lap. “Probably. It’s not like I expected you to, or even know you.”

 

“Right,” he said and we both fell silent.

 

“It’s getting late,” I said not glancing at the clock, I had no idea what time it was. I usually stayed up past midnight as it was, so I knew it wasn’t too late.

 

“Yeah,” he said and I frowned and stood. He looked up at me for a moment or so, before he stood and I walked him to the door.

 

“Don’t spread it around that I’m into guys,” I said as I grabbed the doorknob and pulled. It surprised me when his hand flew up and pushed the door back closed.

 

“What?” He asked and I thought I pissed him off.

 

“Keep it to yourself,” I said, “I don’t want a lot of people to know, I guess.”

 

“Okay,” he said letting his hand fall. “I wouldn’t have anyway.”

 

“Wanted to make sure,” I said as I went to open the door again.

 

“What if I told you,” he said putting his hand on the door and shoving it closed again. “What if I told you, that I waited for you to make your move.”

 

“What?” I asked and he smiled shaking his head.

 

“I waited for you to ask me out and mean it,” he said taking a step closer. “Or if you would kiss me.”

 

“But you said you weren’t gay,” I countered wanting to take a step back, but holding my ground.

 

“You used the word interested,” he argued smiling. “And I lied.”

 

“That’s not fair,” I countered. “I told you and you never…”

 

“Shut up,” he interrupted and before I could put up my usual defenses he pushed me against the door. I struggled against him until his lips found mine. My eyes shot open, the fight leaving me, my heart pounding in my chest. It was a hard kiss, since I was fighting so hard against him. His lips softened, but I was too shocked to return the kiss. When he broke it he opened his eyes and looked at me.

 

“Janelle is going to be so disappointed,” I said before I could catch myself. He laughed, but this time I caught us both off guard when I kissed him back. We staggered backwards a few steps until he steadied us both. Being this close to him, the smell of the restaurant was intense and offensively mixed with his cologne.

“See you Saturday,” he said after he broke the kiss. He smiled and I turned as he walked around me and opened the door, closing it behind him. I didn’t know how long I stood staring at the closed door, but I now knew what true and reckless exhilaration felt like.