Krista's Prompts - 11. Are You Christian 2

Looking out across the trees and houses below, Landfalls looked a lot bigger up here on the water tower. I sat with my legs dangling over the edge, my arms crossed on the safety railing, resting my head. Landfalls Water Company was in faded Carolina blue, with rusty patches from the lack of repainting and over the years it became one of my favorite places to think.

I had graduated from Landfalls High and in a week I would be heading off to the University of North Carolina. Looking back, I didn’t think it would ever have been a choice that I would have made. For one, I wasn’t from here. After my dad Steve got shot just outside of a courthouse in Maryland, for losing a hopeless case, Mom and him decided to pack us all up and leave for a quieter countryside. Not that we knew much about North Carolina, having never been farther south than Virginia. Mom had always liked the country, she just didn’t expect what all came with this quiet out of the way town.

And I hadn’t either, for that matter. At first it had seemed like hell on earth. A small town where everyone knew everyone else. We had barely been in the house fifteen minutes before our neighbor Gloria knocked on our door to welcome us into the neighborhood. She had to have been watching that late afternoon for our arrival. They made sure the house was freshly cleaned and everything.

I never imagined that I would find someone. Being gay in a small town, one where practically everyone went to the same church. It happened, with the preacher’s son at that. His blue eyes were the first thing that I noticed. Even when I thought he was just a small town dumb jock that annoyed the fuck out of me, I couldn’t help seeing how easily he smiled and never met a stranger. He had friends and he made sure that I had some too.

“Can you fucking believe we’ll be in college in a week?” Gavin asked, shoving my shoulder with his hand. He was smoking a joint and I smiled rolling my eyes.

“The same one too,” I answered, not turning to look at him.

“Well yeah, it’s the only fucking school worth going to in the country,” he said and I buried my nose into the crook of my elbow when the wind changed and sent his marijuana smoke rolling over me. I would smell like it, but Mom knew by now that I wouldn’t try. Although I had once and nearly coughed up a lung the summer before I left for camp with Jonathon. She didn’t need to know about that though, she had her hands full with little Grace, who starts pre-school around the same time my classes started. Then Ethan, Stacey’s little boy, was growing fast too. He had her personality, outgoing and careless, but everything else about him was Adam. With the dark eyes and the sandy brown hair.

“You’ll be kicked out of the place, first week,” I said, “I’d bet money on it.”

“Nah,” he grunted as he finished the joint and smiled. “It’s going to be a blast, so don’t look so fucking depressed.”

“I’m not,” I said smiling. “I just hope I’ll be able to get you off this water tower since you’re high as a damn kite.”

“And getting higher, friend,” he said, kicking the side of my shoe with his. Gavin had been a pain in the ass since the first time I met him. Always too nosy for his own good, but always seemed to catch on to things before anyone else. How he’s escaped the notice of the police all these years with his small pot farm in the woods, I never really knew. Unless they were in on it too. He didn’t sell it, most of it was for personal use and for friends that wouldn’t rat him out for anything.

“You’ll take it easier on that shit in college, right?” I said, glancing at him still resting my head on my arms.

“Booze and pussy, I bet I score every night,” Gavin answered, ignoring my concern after a quick smirk. Although I didn’t like how much he smoked, I knew I wouldn’t be the one to convince him to stop. I had tried enough times already, no matter how bad it got he always started the habit back up again.

“Natalie will glue your balls to your asshole,” I said and he laughed.

“I don’t hang that low dude,” he said, “but yeah probably right.”

We fell silent as he enjoyed his buzz. I was pretty much sitting here now because he dragged me out here after work. We both worked at the grocery store. Mostly rounding up stray carts, helping old people pack their bags of groceries, and stocking the shelves. They didn’t trust him enough to run any registers and I tried to avoid the boring task too. Not everyone had warmed up to me being gay either and some of them would rather stand in line for an hour instead of coming down my checkout lane. I would smile and lean against the counter, I got paid either way.

After I was outed things got bad for a while. So much so that they had to hire a retired security guard to walk the halls to keep people from defacing my locker. Mom was also asked to come in and counsel anyone caught giving Jonathon and I any trouble about it. We weren’t the only gay people there, but we weren’t ever truly accepted either, so the others only confided in us when they caught us alone after school or at a football game. I had thought about transferring to Natalie’s school in the next county, but I didn’t want to start over again.

The guys kept me from going completely crazy. I got into a few fights when my temper got the better of me, but by Senior year everything had died down. Apart from that, I could only smile at all the unexpected fun. I had written off this dead little town as soon as Dad pulled the van into the driveway of our new home, but now I couldn’t help thinking that I would miss the hell out of it when I left.

“What are you thinking about?” He asked and I sighed looking over at him. I could see him getting into the laid back and philosophical phase of his high. I just hoped he didn’t start lecturing me on whether or not we were really some mastermind’s imaginary friends. He had seen it in some sci-fi flick and it seemed to stick with him. Not that he really believed it, at least I didn’t think he did anyway. Mostly everything he did was to piss people off or be the center of attention.

“The past couple of years,” I answered, sighing. He leaned into my shoulder, my nose wrinkling at the stench of him.

“It was a blast for the most part,” he said, reaching up and rubbing his hand roughly through my short hair enough to push my head around.

“Knock it off,” I groaned, trying to shrug him off me.

“You’re my best friend, you know that,” he said smiling. “You’ve not ever judged me.”

“I did, I just kept most of it to myself,” I countered frowning, “apart from that one time you got me drunk and I kicked your ass.”

“Who knew little Christian Edwards would be a mean ass drunk,” Gavin said shaking his head as he laughed.

“Well you had it coming you called me an insatiable bottom,” I said and he leaned back laughing harder as he remembered the night. Jonathon had finally led everyone to his secret spot in the clearing, where we had gone by ourselves a couple of times. We built a bonfire and Gavin had brought a cooler of beers, knowing the girls hated it when he smoked and would give him shit over it if he did. So instead we sat around the warm fire drinking and making s’mores. I hadn’t had anything much to drink apart from a few glasses of wine, so I didn’t realize how drunk I was until they were pulling me off Gavin. He didn’t hold it against me though. After that I didn’t drink that much at all. Throwing up and having a mom lecture you all day with a hangover knocked the habit down pretty quick.

“You probably are one,” he said, “I know I’m not.”

“Yeah I bet,” I said, rolling my eyes ignoring him when he fell silent. I heard him sigh as he rested his head on his own crossed arms and we both stared out at the setting sun.

“Did I tell you Matt is trying to convince Kate to not go to Duke,” Gavin said and I smirked.

“Already knew, dude,” I answered, “ever since she was accepted, he’s always hated Duke.”

“Well I think it will finally break them up,” Gavin said, “Duke and UNC don’t mix, probably not enough make up sex to get a couple through that shit.”

“They’re getting married next summer,” I said, “you just want Kate, because she’s literally the only person here you’ve not slept with.”

“Lies,” he said, scowling in my direction, “I’ve got high standards.”

“Yeah, if they agree to leave after and not call,” I said shaking my head, “am I close?”

“Dead on it,” he answered laughing. After Natalie got tired of his pot smoking and partying she dumped him for someone that went to her school. They were still friends, but I knew that he still liked her. He was too proud to try again, instead he dated just long enough to get the other person interested and then gave them the cold shoulder until they gave up. I hoped that college would miraculously change him and that it lasted, but it was likely to just make him worse.

It didn’t help that he had grown into his looks quite nicely either. Those green eyes the color of fresh spring leaves could make anyone fall for his fake smiles and lies. By the time you realized how cruel he had been you were forgiving him for it.

I had finally hit my growth spurt and filled out a little bit too. I took up swimming, since Jonathon had liked to go to the public pool and Lacey had her lifeguard certification and could sneak us in after closing hours. No longer being a thin little shit probably stopped some of the bullying too, but I hoped it was because people finally started to realize that I was just like everyone else.

“Do you remember the food fight?” Gavin asked and I smirked and nodded.

“Another day you wouldn’t shut your mouth,” I answered, “got us suspended.”

“You were all chicken shits and I was tired of it,” he said, but I had long since forgiven him for that. Being out changed a lot. Not long after Jonathon’s dad, David, found out about us, Julianne filed for a divorce after he refused to close the gay conversion therapy center. After the divorce the church fired him and hired Gloria’s husband to take over as pastor. He was just as nice as Gloria and the church actually grew, even though I stopped going after that.

When Gavin’s cell phone rang I jumped and he snickered as he held it up to his ear. I watched as his smile faded and he rolled his eyes. He didn’t speak much, which usually meant that he was receiving another lecture from his Mom about something and when he finally said goodbye and hung up he sighed standing.

“Mom’s been wanting to have a family dinner, guess tonight's the night, I hope they haven’t found my stash again,” he said as he stretched his arms up over his head before letting them fall back to his sides, “wanna come?”

“No,” I answered and he patted me on the shoulder.

“See you tomorrow,” he said and I nodded, smiling as he made his way down the ladder. The height bothered me at first, but Jonathon wouldn’t give up until I had climbed up to the top of the water tower that overlooked the town. If I walked around to the other side I could see past the train tracks to all the stores. This side had always been my favorite though, the patchwork farmland, trees, and houses. In the fall as the leaves changed it was my favorite time of year. I spent hours up here trying to memorize and photograph the scenery so I could go home and paint it. Although I had four or so attempts finished, I still didn’t think I captured it.

I hadn’t wanted to go down memory lane, but sitting up here I couldn’t keep from it. Definitely now that I was alone and free to think without being interrupted. Reaching up and scratching the back of my head I sighed looking down at the longer shadows of the oncoming sunset. It was warm out, being early August. The sun wouldn’t set for another couple of hours, but the sky was turning from blue to an orange and the magic of the water tower was just beginning. The colors were so vibrant and I had a front row seat to the transformation.

It was quiet here as well, every so often a car horn would blare somewhere behind me in town. The train would go through and from here the whistle would sound louder than near the house, where I could barely hear it at all.

I had already started packing for college. Everyone apart from Kate decided on the University of North Carolina, at least for the first couple of years to get our general education done and partying out of our system. Kate was the only one that really knew what she wanted to do. I wanted to do something with art or music, but I also knew that neither would lead to a lot of job opportunities. Still I had a few art and music classes scheduled for next semester when I wasn’t swamped with the required math and english classes.

My grades could have been better, but they weren’t all that bad. Stacey had always brought home better grades, only because she did all of her homework and actually studied. Most of the time it was with Adam, but he actually stuck around and they got married in December. It was a minor scandal, everyone seeming to know why two teenagers would get married so young. They had been in love though and despite Mom’s worrying and lectures they had survived their first two years of college with Ethan in tow. They lived in an apartment close to campus and even though she would rather go to a few parties and get a bit wild she never did much of it. If she did she hadn’t told me about it anyway, but Ethan made her grow up pretty quick. Mom would have hauled her ass home if she hadn’t, but she didn’t surprise me. Stacey had always looked out for me despite all the arguing we did. She loved fiercely and that got her through most anything and luckily for her Adam seemed to love her just as much.

Most of me looked forward to college. Getting away from here, although I knew I would actually be homesick, the change would be good for me. I looked forward to being on my own although it scared the fuck out of me. I would still have Gavin and the guys too and Duke was just down the street as it was. I could see us hanging out just as much as we did now, but with more responsibilities and not trying to flunk out of the first year of college.

When my phone buzzed I picked it up off the metal floor of the tower and glanced at the screen. Gavin’s message popped up telling me not to jump. Rolling my eyes not responding I stood and slid it into my back pocket so my hands would be free to climb down. Even though I had made the climb so many times, it still caused my heart to race knowing the only thing between me and the ground was the metal rungs of the ladder and it was a long way down.

After my feet hit the ground I pulled my phone back out and got into my car. It was Dad’s hand me down, but it was still nice. A black Fusion. It was paid off so I only had to worry about the tags and insurance. It hadn’t caused me any trouble yet, but when I changed the tires my bank account took a significant hit, working my lame summer job didn’t pay much, but I didn’t have that many bills.

Pulling out of the small dead end gravel road, smirking at the “Trespassers Will be Prosecuted,” posted sign I drove the short distance home. Stacey was sitting on the porch swing with Mom while Adam rolled around the grass with Ethan and Grace pouncing him. When I got out they all stopped momentarily to wave before Grace caught Adam off guard and knocked him over without him faking it.

“I wish you wouldn’t climb that tower,” Mom said, “and don’t try telling me that’s not where you were.”

“It’s not that scary,” I said, flipping the keys around my finger.

“I’d be scared to death,” Stacey said, holding a glass of water. She was just now really losing her baby weight.

“Well you’ve gotten tame after the baby,” I countered, “just wait until he wants to climb it.”

“I’ll blow the damn thing up first, we don’t need water,” she said and I looked over my shoulder towards the tower. I could just make it out from here, but we lived too far away for them to see that I had been up there.

“Gavin call telling some wild tale?” I asked, shaking my head when Mom frowned.

“That boy needs to stop calling people when he’s high as a kite,” Mom hissed, “you hang out with him too much.”

“He’s my best friend,” I said shrugging, “he’s just an asshole.”

“And an idiot,” Stacey added, “if he sends me one more MILF joke I swear I’m going to choke the life right out of him.”

“Well you didn’t have to give him your number,” I said, rolling my eyes.

“I didn’t,” she said. “He got it from your phone.”

“Natalie is still on Vacation,” I said, “she gets back in a couple of days, so she’ll distract him until he pisses her off.”

“Language,” Mom whispered, “Grace has already gotten a letter sent home, I wonder what this town thinks of me.”

“Well we got through it without being kicked completely out of school,” I said shrugging. “A pregnant newlywed and a homo.”

“I never wanted two people to graduate more,” Mom said smiling, “but I am going to miss you dear.”

“Mom,” I groaned and she frowned. Over the years some of the rough edges had softened, although she could still work herself up into a good lecture when she needed to. After the bullying died down and I stopped getting into fights, she stopped some of her worrying and relaxed.

“How’s Gavin really?” Stacey asked and I shrugged walking up the stairs. I didn’t want her to read more into things than she already was. We told one another everything most of the time eventually, but I wasn’t ready to discuss some things.

“Good,” I answered as I opened the screen door and stepped inside. Dad was sprawled out on the couch. He had been reading the paper, his reading glasses were pulled to the end of his nose, but he had fallen asleep. Shaking my head I walked up the stairs to my room. We had outgrown this house, but Mom and Dad didn’t see a reason to move. Soon enough it would just be them and Grace, but when Stacey, Adam, and Ethan stayed over it was a full house. Mom seemed to like that though and Dad enjoyed playing with the brats after work.

After putting my keys and phone down on the nightstand I unscrewed the cap on the goldfish food and sprinkled some into the tank. I hadn’t expected the fish to live this long, but I smiled remembering the day Jonathon had won it for me.

I had slowly gotten rid of all the stuffed animals. Most of them were gifts to Grace, but I still had a couple shoved into the back of the closet. The only place I wouldn’t be embarrassed about having them still. It was stupid to hold on to them, but I couldn’t get rid of them all. It was the day I could see myself open to falling in love. I had thought it impossible for me until then.

From that day on we had tried to sneak around, but in this small town that was impossible. Even the most secret places were known. So it wasn’t long before Matt found us fooling around in the creek. Looking back it was stupid of us to do that, but it was easy to be convinced of things with Jonathon. The way he lit up with every suggestion or grand idea, it made it difficult to see how anything could go wrong.

It took a couple of months of counseling with Mom and his mother, Julianne, before he forgave her. They still had a strained relationship though. After the divorce was finalized he stopped talking to his father altogether. Pastor Dave moved away from North Carolina completely to take a pastor job in Mississippi. The center lost all it’s funding, most of the money being divided between Julianne and Jonathon in the divorce. It closed, and was renovated into a nursing home. Jonathon and I celebrated its closing by spending the night in the boat on the pond. We had done that a lot, being a quiet place where no one would bother us.

We actually went to camp. No one else from the church signed up and it was far enough away that no one knew about us. Jonathon had friends there from going there during the summer a couple times before, but they were too far into the bible for me to feel comfortable. It was hot, too hot to do much of anything. We spent most of the time sneaking off on the hiking trails, too boring to tempt most people. To talk and make out.

I spent most of one day laughing trying to teach him how to ride a horse. He seemed so fearless with everything, but even the old calm horses the camp had donated to them over the years, were too scary for him. Most of them no larger than a pony had walked the same trails most of their lives on the camp. When I finally convinced him that it wouldn’t kill him we rode most of the trails missing most of the required prayer and group activities that day. So we had to help the kitchen staff clean the dishes, but it had been worth it. Apart from all the church stuff it was fun and during the week I saw him come back to life after everything that had happened.

After we got back it was a couple of weeks before our junior year started. Gavin threw us a party in the field. It was when he finally talked me into trying pot. I had already had a couple of beers and not being used to drinking either, I was probably an easy target. Despite everything it was a good summer. It was when I knew without a doubt that I had fallen in love. I knew we were free and it would be easier from then on, I couldn’t see anything else that we couldn’t get past. Everyone had come, even Matt. Jonathon and him were back to normal.

It wasn’t long after Senior year started that things began to change though. I hadn’t really seen it coming. He quit football, the team not really wanting him around anyway. Julianne was still hovering pretty bad, part of her probably wanting to make up for lost time. Then part of it was still not wanting Jonathon to be gay and with me. Although she took it a lot better as time went by and I had stayed for dinner some. She was always nice to us when I was there, but the way Mom talked, they were still fighting with her to understand what being gay meant.

He dropped me off at home after a day at the pool to get some dry clothes and pack a cooler with sandwiches and pop. It was a hot summer night so we made plans to camp out in the abandoned treehouse that night. We had spent a lot of time fixing it up and replacing all the rotting wood. Now it was a lot more than just a floor with a rope ladder. We hadn’t put a roof on it, liking the view of the stars between the branches of the old tree the house was built in.

I had waited most of the night for him to arrive. The breezy day had started to blow in a thunderstorm when I finally saw his flashlight lighting his path to me. Not wanting to be caught out in a storm out here I lowered the cooler down to the ground and started climbing down the ladder when thunder rumbled overhead.

“We’re about to get soaked,” I said and he smiled looking up at the sky.

“It will blow over,” he said, kissing me on the cheek before he walked around me. He was carrying a small plastic bag and I was about to follow him as he started climbing the ladder when a flash of lightning lit the darkness around us.

“It’s not you know,” I said as the rumble of thunder quickly followed. We had a walk ahead of us back home before the storm hit and I wanted to get going. “Let’s go to my house.”

“I don’t want to,” he said and I reached up to stop him from climbing.

“What’s in the bag?” I asked and he frowned, but let go of the rope ladder and fell the three or so feet he had climbed. Straightening up he unrolled the brown plastic and showed me the rolled up plastic bag with the two joints at the bottom of it.

“I went to Gavin’s house, that’s why I’m late,” he said as I felt the first drops of rain. It was cold, having been a hot night.

“Why?” I asked moving to stand under the treehouse to shield myself from most of the rain that I knew was coming. Most summer storms here were violent with instantly soaking downpours that didn’t last very long. I could already hear the large raindrops rushing towards us through the forest canopy.

“I wanted to try it again,” he said, shrugging his shoulders. “I’ve been stressing out about school coming up.”

“Don’t let it,” I said leaning into him, but he took a step back and I had to catch myself on the rope ladder to keep from falling.

“Easy for you to say,” he said, shaking his head. “You don’t have a father who hates you and blames you for his divorce. You don’t have a Mom that hates to look at you, but can’t stand hating herself for it.”

“She just needs a little more time with my mom,” I said, reaching out for him, but he shrugged out of my reach. “She loves you.”

“It’s nothing,” he said, “don’t worry about it.”

“It doesn’t look like nothing,” I said, wanting to see the easy smile. Someone that wouldn’t curse or think of smoking pot or drinking. Someone that had overcome so much without it.

“Let’s go, the night is ruined anyway,” he said and before I could react he turned and ran through the darkness and into the storm. Being alone, unable to hear much with the rain and thunder. Not being a fan of the dark, it was the scariest walk home I ever took.

When I got there, I expected him to be sitting on the porch swing. Even though I was pissed about being left alone, I would have apologized so that he would talk to me about what happened back at the treehouse, but he wasn’t there. He had gone home.

The next day he acted like nothing was bothering him and apologized. We spent the rest of our summer before senior year together. We went back to the treehouse during a calm night. We listened to music on a battery powered old stereo and when the warmth of the night got too uncomfortable we stripped down to our underwear. It wasn’t long after looking up at the stars and the music and being naked had gotten the better of us. We hadn’t done more than kiss and give one another blow jobs, but when I pulled the condom I kept in my wallet out of my khaki shorts neither of us hesitated. It was nice. It was like crossing an imaginary line strengthening our bond. We couldn’t take that back and I hadn’t wanted to.

As school started we didn’t spend as much time together. I decided to take some college classes at night that the community college offered high school students. Just two that met once a week, but those classes along with the normal classes had me doing homework most week nights. I had noticed the distance though, but the times together were always nice, nearly normal. It was enough to cause me to stop the questions that raced to mind. Only when he started losing weight and blowing off weekends altogether is when the arguing started.

He had also started hanging out with Gavin a lot more after school. He was getting into trouble, missing assignments, and skipping out on a few classes. I tried to talk to him and he hadn’t been able to mask the smell of the drugs and beer. I fought with Gavin, trying to convince him not to sell to him anymore. Gavin hadn’t seen anything wrong with it, thinking that Jonathon just needed to take some of his stress away.

Not long into the Spring semester he stopped coming to school most of the week. He had also stopped going to counseling with Julianne. Mom tried to surprise him with home visits, but he bolted every time. She would come home worried about him, asking me questions. She sounded like a mother instead of his therapist. I told her everything over the past couple of weeks a couple of times already. Nothing had worked and I felt completely helpless by then.

It was during one of Gavin’s parties when everything changed. I had agreed to go with him. I begged Lacey to come, but she didn’t have anything to do with Gavin’s pot parties. I put off going that night, knowing that I would just end up hauling Jonathon’s drunk ass home with me to sober up before sending him with Mom to take him home. I didn’t want to be the one to drop him off hungover at his house. His mother was just starting to like me and I didn’t want to see the worry in her eyes that Mom had talked about. I expected Mom to tell me to stop seeing him. Dad had started threatening to rat Gavin and Jonathon out to the police, but I had been able to convince him not to so far, but I knew the day would come when I wouldn’t be enough.

When I arrived, Gavin’s house looked empty. Most everyone had left and when I stepped inside I nudged a few beer bottles out of my path. The television was on, but no one was in the living room. Being the only thing illuminating the house I slowly eased my way through the living room. The place stunk of marijuana and I wondered how Gavin cleaned the place up before his parents got back from their weekend trips to visit his older sister. They seemed pretty oblivious to what he was up to though on the few times I visited.

I heard Gavin talking to someone in his bedroom and made my way down the narrow hallway. His bedroom door was cracked so I knocked hoping he didn’t have a girl in there with him. When it drifted open I saw Gavin sitting in his chair beside his desk. He looked over at me and smiled. His hand was on the back of someone’s head, but the room was too dark. The only thing I knew was that it wasn’t a girl, no girl at school had hair that short anyway.

“You’re late dude, you missed one fucking good time,” he said lazily lifting a half empty beer bottle to his mouth. Hearing Gavin talking to someone else the person giving him a blowjob raised up. I heard Jonathon’s laughter and I reached over and turned on the light. He didn’t stop laughing when I shot him a glare. His eyes were bloodshot and watery and before I realized it I had walked into the room and punched Gavin squarely in the mouth. He went sprawling out of his chair suddenly completely sober. I glanced down at my hand and I had a cut along one of my knuckles.

“What the fuck, you sloppy cocksucker,” he said, but then he realized it was me that had punched him instead of Jonathon.

“I fucking hate you both,” I said looking down at Jonathon. He had rolled over on his side, his eyes were closed, but the goofy smile hadn’t left his face.

“Don’t,” Gavin said, his eyes wide, blood welled and dripped from his split lip. “Don’t, he’s not in a good place right now and this helps.”

“It doesn’t fucking help,” I said, “if you cared at all you would stop this shit, I can’t stop him until you do.”

“What are you two talking about?” Jonathon mumbled, not opening his eyes. Shaking my head I ran out of the house tripping over beer bottles and busting up my knee on the way.

I had been too pissed to feel anything else as I made my way back home. Mom was ready to ambush me with questions, but I shrugged past her and bounded up the stairs to my room. The next evening Jonathon had come by to apologize, but I didn’t open the door. He tried to talk to me at school, but gave up after a couple of weeks.

After graduation Lacey went with Kate and Matt on a vacation with Kate’s parents. Not having anyone to talk to Gavin kept coming over until I got bored enough to start letting him in to talk. He had slowed down his smoking and drinking. That party had been too epic to hide all the evidence from his parents anyway and they trashed the house searching for all of his drugs. They took his cell phone and computer away from him as well. He was desperate and I was bored being stuck at home or at work most of the time. Jonathon had to take summer classes to get back on track for college in August. After that night he hadn’t talked to Gavin anymore either. We had no one else to pass the time with.

Now that it was a week away, I had put off the inevitable too long. I would finally have to talk to Jonathon and I didn’t know if I could. I tried to get a new roommate in the dorm, but the room assignments were final until after the first two weeks of the semester when they could shuffle people around. Only after the usual dropouts and compatibility problems started. We were from the same home town and had requested the dorm together specifically in our dorm applications. I had begged Gavin and even Matt to swap, but neither of them wanted to. Matt didn’t like me or Jonathon enough to room with either of us. Jonathon’s behavior had pissed everyone off and they stopped talking to him too. Gavin only smirked and told me that it would be good for the both of us. I couldn’t see how, but it was only for two weeks.
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The reason for not continuing:

It was too much of a change in tone. Although the characters are years older, the retrospection described too many changes to characters that I had established as one thing, and then went another direction. While the reason for Jonathan to to spiral was plausible, he wasn't adjusting to the fallout of him being outed by Matt. I think I spiraled him too far and if I started that story, with him the way that he ended up being - most of it being told through flashbacks and through Christian's POV, I don't think readers of that story would have liked the changes. They liked Jonathan, he was full of life. Writing him raw, hurt, and spiraling out of control until he lost it all and drove everyone away. I was also told that I shouldn't make Jonathan this irredeemable, that it would take a lot of growth 'again' for him to be worthwhile. That it took away a lot of the work put in from the original. --- I have seen it done in other sequels, which is partially why I started the idea to begin with.

The story would have forced them to be college roommates, as that is what they were going to be while they were still dating. It would have been a spin on "enemies to lovers," because I would have eventually softened Jonathan, healed him, and reconciled the two of them. But, it would have been a slower process because I planned to introduce competition for Christian's attention. I almost picked Gavin, since I remember him being a bit bi-curious in the original writing. But that would have meant that Christian overlooked Gavin's flaws, and didn't with Jonathan. Jonathan in the writing of this part didn't give him much choice but to leave him alone though, so. But yes, it would have been a new character.

Let me know if you want to see more of these. If there isn't much of a response to this, I'll not bother.