Imagine There's No Heaven - 10. Chapter 10

Richard grabbed Colton by the shoulders and jerked him towards the door where Bernard and Sue waited. He shoved him behind Bernard who grasped his hand. Bernard smiled comfortingly at Colton as he pulled him closer. Richard nodded at Sue. They were ready to move.

One step at a time.

Once through the door Sue signalled for everyone to get down on their knees and crawl across the wooden floor while she remained alert. Weapon poised. Trigger finger ready to squeeze.

Suddenly Bernard stopped crawling.

Colton nudged him to continue but he seemed frozen to the spot.

Richard cursed beneath his breath.

Two steps away, Sue turned and scrunched her face, urging them to move forward. To stay with her. But Bernard’s face had turned pale. Eyes frozen wide. Staring. Richard’s gaze followed Bernard’s finger, pointing at something strapped beneath the table.

‘Christ!’ Richard’s face was suddenly wet with perspiration. ‘Sue, let’s get out of here!

No time for questions.

Every nerve in the body sent a danger signal to the brain.

Get out!

Within seconds they were flying through the front door. Before they reached the front steps the house splintered into a million pieces as the explosion ripped through it.

The blast silenced the dogs barking in the distance. It startled and scattered birds resting in their nests. It disturbed the fragile dust and hurtled bricks and planks and window frames into a wide arc as the rest of the house burned.

No movement. The dust settled. An eternity seemed to pass before

Richard moaned.

He dragged himself into a seated position and surveyed the scene. The house, and everything in it, was no more. Bernard lay motionless five metres from the steps. Colton and Sue were a little farther away; Colton in long grass lying on his back. Sue in a foetal position, hugging the base of a tree.

Richard’s leg burned. He grasped his knee and managed to crawl towards Bernard lying motionless beneath a rose tree. Four petals of what was once a yellow rose, lay on his open chest. The blast ripped his shirt. His shoes were nowhere to be seen. Richard stretched his hand out and grabbed the torn hem tightly in a fist.

‘Baby? Baby are you okay?’ Anguish in his broken whisper.

He waited a few moments for a reply. Like waiting forever.

He rested a shaking finger on Bernard’s lips. ‘Please. Please say something…anything. Please my baby. I can’t lose you. Please…’

Sobs in his tortured words. Tears covered his bruises and blended with the dust on his face as he buried his head in his son’s shoulder.

‘D…dad?’ Bernard’s voice, parched and weak. ‘Dad…I…I’m scared.’

Richard gripped his hand and squeezed. It was warm. Too warm. The pulse in his wrist raced. He sighed, relieved that his son was alive.

‘I’m here, my baby. We’re alive. I’m here,’ he smiled. Sniffed. Wiped away the gritty tears.

Bernard attempted to pull himself into a seated position but only managed a few inches. He let out a wailing groan. ‘Dad….my…my legs are cold.’

Richard held him close. He realised that his son could be paralysed. That was not the kind of life he had imagined for his boy; bonded to a wheelchair for the rest of his days. He removed his jacket and gently tucked it under his legs. ‘It’s going to be alright, baby. We’ll get you to a hospital and everything will be fine.’

‘Dad…Uncle Colton…his mum…are they…?’

Richard hadn’t thought of Colton or Sue.

He turned to find her writhing on the ground beside the tree. Moaning. Her hands blindly reached out for support.

‘I’ll be back right now. I…I have to help them.’

‘Sure. You go on dad. I…I’ll be fine.’

Sue grappled the tree trunk and swayed as she got to her feet. Richard came up from behind and steadied her before she could fall. ‘I’ve got you,’ he said, wrapping both hands around her waist.

She steadied herself with one hand on the tree and one hand holding his arm. After a few moments she said, ‘Thank you, I’m fine now. Damn! That was a close call. How is Colton doing?’

‘Let’s find out.’

Colton lay still. His face in long grass tickling him in the ears and nose. Richard crouched onto his haunches and cradled his head in his hands. Sue knelt beside him and stroked his face. ‘Colton. Colton wake up. We have to get out of here.’

Colton’s eyes blinked open. He took in a long gasp of air. Suddenly he shot up. ‘What the fuck! Christ! Mum. Are you okay?’

‘I’m fine. I think. We need to get to a police station.’

‘And a hospital,’ Richard said, turning to face Bernard. ‘His legs. He says they’re cold.’

‘Shit!’ Sue said, making her way to the fallen boy.

His deep blue eyes fascinated her as he lay silently beneath the rose bush.

‘Hey hero,’ Sue said, taking his hand. ‘You know, if it wasn’t for you, we’d all be dead. You know that don’t you?’

Bernard smiled weakly.

‘We’re going to make it out of this place. How are you feeling?’ she asked.

‘My…my legs. I know they’re there but I can’t get up. They feel cold and numb,’ Bernard said.

‘Okay. Here’s the thing, and I want you to listen carefully like my hero that you are, promise me you’ll understand.’

‘I can’t promise if I don’t know what it is you want to say.’

‘Well, your daddy and I are going to find a telephone to call for help. Colton will stay with you. Is that okay?’

Bernard nodded. ‘Good. I like Uncle Colton. Dad, will you be long?’

‘Nope son. We’ll be quick. Just hang in there and before you know it we’ll be back.’

***

Colton lay on the ground beside Bernard and took his hand. ‘They won’t be long. Soon you’ll be up and about and safe.’

‘I’m not worried about me,’ Bernard said into Colton’s ear. ‘I’m worried about Dad.’

‘Why is that?’

‘Since mum left him for another man, he’s been sad. I sometimes think that I get in the way of him meeting someone.’

‘I’m sure he’ll meet someone soon. In any case, maybe he wants to be just with you. He doesn’t want to lose you too.’

‘I just wish he’d find someone to love. I know he’s lonely. Sometimes I can hear him cry in his room late at night. That’s when I creep in next to him and make him quiet.’

‘He loves you very much. You’re very lucky to him as your dad.’

‘I am. I know. Can I…Can I ask you something?’

‘Sure. Anything.’

‘Who was Jack. Why did you cry back there?’

Colton thought for a moment. What does one tell an eleven-year-old? How does one form a truth for an eleven-year-old.

‘You are how old? Eleven?’

Bernard shook his head. ‘No. I’m thirteen.’

‘But your dad said you’re eleven.’

‘He lied. I don’t know why he lied but he did. I could have said something there and then but it felt as if he was trying to stop that man from taking me. So I kept quiet.’

‘Clever move. Thirteen. Hmmm. Okay, I’ll tell you. Jack and I were like girlfriend and boyfriend.'

‘You mean, gay?’

‘Yes. I’m gay.’

‘When you…you know… kiss and make love, is it the same as kissing a girl?’

‘Well, firstly young man, your dad should be explaining this to you, not me. But, all I’m going to say is yes, it is the same. ’

‘I’ve seen dad.’

‘You’ve seen dad? I don’t follow…’

Bernard coughed then cleared his throat. ‘I’ve… seen dad kiss his friend.’

‘Oh. Well, maybe it was his friend’s birthday?’

‘Nope. Dad came home late one night from a dinner party. I crept down the stairs quiet as a mouse. I saw two shadows so decided to go back up to my room. I watched them from the landing. They kissed, then went into the lounge where I couldn’t see them.’

‘How did that make you feel?’

‘I didn’t mind, I thought it was cute. I was happy for my dad. A little confused, but happy.’

‘So then you don’t mind that I’m gay?’

‘I don’t mind what people are. So long as they’re happy, I’m happy. Mom and dad were happy once.’

‘Why did your mom leave? Is it because she knew your dad was kissing his friend?’

‘Nope. Told you, she ran off with another man. Haven’t seen her since.’

‘Do you miss her?’

‘No. But dad does. His misses her terribly. That’s why I want him to fall in love with someone. It’ll take his mind off mom.’

‘What happened to the friend?’

‘Haven’t seen him again.’

‘I’m sure your dad will find someone. Give him time. Time heals everything. What about you? Have you got a girlfriend?’

‘Nope…’ He coughed and Colton wiped the spittle off his lips. ‘Girls ignore me. I’m not the best looking kid at school. Did you love Jack?’

At first he didn’t know what to say. He and Jack had stripped naked for each other three years in a row. Love. Lust. They craved each other’s smell and touch and god their senses were one. They had made love yesterday morning on the third anniversary of their affection and yet, yesterday he almost became a Judas. Almost, because the fever of the turmoil was too much to bear alone, and he was tempted to give up this love, this adoration. He had read something profound once upon a time by E.M Forster, that if Forster was given a choice to betray his country or his friend, he hoped to God it would be his country. Did he love Jack? Good question.

‘In my eyes, love has no boundaries,’ Colton said. ‘Besides, God demands that we love. I don’t think he really worries about whom we love, just as long as we love. I would like to think that Jack loved me. Yes. I loved Jack.’ Tears stained his cheeks.

‘I…I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to…’

‘No. It’s fine. You are one hell of young man. One day you will also love. I hope to God that it’s a true and perfect love.’

‘I hope so, too. I love my...my dad...I’m sleepy. My arms are cold…so sleep….’ Bernard’s voice faded away and his eyes closed.

Colton sprang into action. He slapped him softly in the face. Shook him by the shoulders. Removed his jacket and spread it over him. ‘No! No! Bernard! Bernard! Stay with me. You. Stay. With. Me! Open your eyes damn you. Open your fuckin’ eyes!’

His eyes flickered and opened. Then closed.

Colton was panting heavily. His brow saturated by sweat. ‘Stay. Talk to me. Anything…’

‘Water…please…Uncle Colton…water… throat dry…’ His voice, weak and pleading.

‘Water? Where the….water! Christ!’ He scrambled to his feet and looked around. No water. No water. He had to find water. The house! Burning and crumbling. There had to be a pipe. Water! He took a chance and dashed into the remains of the burning house. He avoided the flames in search of an exposed pipe and then

he found it. The geyser. It had burst with the explosion and fallen from the ceiling. Water ran across the floor but there was nothing in the tank. Nothing. No water.

The heat was unbearable. The flames licked and seered his hairy arms. The smell overpowered him. He hastened to get out of the house. Return to the boy who lay beneath a dead rose tree.

His eyes were closed. His face white. His mouth slightly open. For the first time he noticed that the ground upon which Bernard lay, was saturated in a dark red colour.

‘Bernard?’

No reply.

Colton dropped to his knees and slapped the boy’s face furiously.

No reaction.

‘Bernard! Speak to me. Please.’ His voice cracked.

But Bernard did not speak. He did not breathe. He did not move.

He hugged him and rocked him and didn’t know what to do except cry his heart out when at last he picked up his limp body and found a jagged piece of wood had embedded itself into the small of his back.

That’s when he let out a loud wail. Hoping the loudness of his cry would waken the boy in his arms.

It could have been an hour or two, it could have been more than four hours later when Richard and Sue returned with an ambulance behind them.

Richard climbed out of his Land Rover first and ran to the gate. He noticed that Colton held Bernard close to his heart. Bernard’s left arm hung limply off to one side. Richard knew. He knew and he collapsed to his knees at the gate.

One word escaped his throat. ‘No!’