Jack Deveraux's Story - 1. Chapter 1

It was 9:30 am Tuesday 11th May 2010. Although the sky was clear and the sun shone, the weather was a little cooler than expected for the time of year, especially when the breeze caught you. It was even chillier in the shade Jack Deveraux was glad he was wearing his warm coat.

Jack looked up at the imposing Victorian building as he walked the last hundred yards. Built of red brick with an ornamental terracotta facia and a Welsh slate roof, it was four floors in height, two of them are in the attic space. The tower and two spires almost made it look regal. As he entered, he noticed that the terracotta ornamentation continued inside and extended to the tiles on the floor. Once inside, he felt the chill that the old building held as he emptied his pockets into a tray on the table and removed his coat, ready to be searched by the security guard. Already in a sullen mood, he felt even more depressed. He was now in The Victoria Law Courts, Birmingham, and due in front of The Magistrates at 10:30.

Jack thought back to the events that had brought him here and was already regretting his actions. As an exemplary student, he gained double A’s in all but two of his exams allowing him a place at Aston University in Birmingham to study for degrees in Psychology and Humanities, which could be thought of as a joke considering why he was here. After seven months of study, he was expelled for assaulting another student, someone who he had accepted as a friend and later turned on.

Feeling stressed due to his studies, in a fit of sheer frustration, he lost control and lashed out at Li Qiang over something trivial and minor. It wasn’t that he didn’t like Li, they had met that first day in the Halls of Residence when they accidentally bumped into each other. After they helped each other up, they introduced themselves and started chatting. They had been allocated rooms next door to each other and taking the same courses and lectures. They soon became close friends and each other's support mechanism, since that night Jack had felt too embarrassed and ashamed to look at Li, let alone talk to him, especially with the feelings he harboured for him.

Jack’s parents hadn’t spoken to him since leaving the police station after admitting his guilt. He’d been charged with assault and bailed to appear in court. He felt alone and deserted as he nervously waited for his turn to go in. When his name was called, he entered the courtroom with his head down and shaking like a leaf inside. He’d never been in trouble before and was terrified of the unknown consequences he was about to face.

About twenty-five minutes later, Jack emerged from the courtroom holding back tears of relief. He hadn’t been sent to prison. Surprisingly and unexpectedly Li Qiang, the friend he’d assaulted, had come to the court to speak up for him. Li told the court that Jack was one of the good guys. His chosen studies and past were evidence of that. He had reacted, albeit badly, in a moment of stress and frustration and had been punished enough by losing his place in University, and the uncertainty of their future friendship. Li had forgiven him and hoped that their friendship and mutual trust could be re-established in the future. After a short deliberation, the Magistrates agreed with Li but felt that punishment was still in order. A sentence of eighty hours of community service and six months probation was passed. Jack had to report to the Probation Office before leaving the building.

A month later, Jack was living in a bedsit in Selly Oak. He had to leave the University halls of residence. His Probation Officer had assigned him to a group redecorating a hospice in Harbourne. During the three eight-hour shifts that he had completed, he had befriended a few of the patients, one in particular had made an impression, and Jack felt himself being drawn to him. It was as if they were two lonely kindred spirits.

The day of Jack’s fourth shift he was running late when a car pulled up at the side of the road. When the passenger door window opened he heard a familiar voice call out to him. When he approached the car he saw the charge nurse who ran the wing he was working on. Accepting a lift to the hospice, he sat in the passenger seat and thanked the nurse, relieved that he would arrive on time.

In the reception, he met his supervisor and two others who had been assigned to the hospice to complete their community service. After they had signed in and given their contractor's badges, Jack made his way to the kitchen. He made it his task to take a morning cup of tea to Peggy, one of ‘his’ ladies.

Peggy was a widow. She had no children or other family and was facing terminal cancer on her own. She was always bright and cheerful, showing very little sign of her condition and bravely faced every day not allowing her fate to overshadow what life she had left. As he approached her room he sensed that something wasn’t right, the door to her room was open and the cleaners were there. As he got closer he heard the vacuum cleaner and saw the boxes containing Peggy’s belongings, entering the room the emptiness hit him as he realised that Peggy had passed away. Dropping the cup he leaned against the wall as he sank to the floor pulling his knees under his chin, the tears flowed.

Although he knew she was dying, he still couldn’t believe she was gone. Peggy was the first patient to speak to him and brightened his day. The cleaners stopped what they were doing to check on him. One stayed with him while the other went to get Matron and his supervisor. They came and took him to the office where he was comforted and allowed time to regain his composure.

The Matron spoke to him for some time and handed over a letter Peggy had written him. In the letter, Peggy thanked him for his little visits when he took his breaks and throughout the week, she told him how much it meant to her that a good-looking young man would give her his time and how he had helped her face every day with strength. She wished him well for his future as she knew he was ‘a good boy’ and how he reminded her in some ways of her late husband. A small gift was in the envelope which she told him to wear with pride as she could not think of anyone better to wear it, a gold chain with a cross, it had been her late husband's and had his name engraved on the back, his name was Jack.

When Jack tried to refuse the gift he was told by the Matron that he should keep it as it was what Peggy wanted. The Matron went on to tell him about the effect he had on Peggy and how she looked forward to his visits and Saturdays when brought her a cup of tea and stayed for a chat. Jack was all she could talk about and she had a twinkle in her eye when she did. Jack had brought happiness into Peggy’s last few weeks and made her smile, something that no one else had been able to do. Jack’s supervisor had offered to let Jack go home without it affecting his attendance but still counted that day as a full day. Jack did consider it, but after giving it some thought he decided to stay. He believed that Peggy would want him to. He made a point of asking to be notified of the arrangements for Peggy’s funeral, he wanted to be there to pay his respects and say a final farewell.

For the rest of the day, Jack continued his work and tried to be as cheerful as possible, the smile was on his face, but there was no smile in his eyes which did not go unnoticed. As Jack worked staff and patients came and spoke to him. They knew what was on his mind and were determined to show their support. Gary, the wing Charge Nurse, spent time with him. He apologised for how Jack learned of Peggy’s passing. Gary had been informed during the morning handover, he tried to meet Jack but had been delayed by another patient.

During his afternoon break, he was sitting in the garden holding a mug of tea when Paul, one of the other patients, came and sat by him. Jack had felt drawn to Paul, but today he was trying to keep some distance between them, he knew why but he didn’t want to admit it to himself. Although he looked older than his 23 years with only a short time left to live, Paul still had an attractiveness to him and a personality to go with it. This stirred feelings that Jack did not want to admit to, he was still looking for that one girl that would do ‘it’ for him.

It was that day that Paul started to speak to him and another friendship started. It began with talking about Peggy and Jack’s feelings for her, it was as if she had become the Grandmother he never had. In just a few short weeks they had forged a friendship and Jack had made a difference to a lonely old lady. When afternoon break was over Jack returned to work, constantly thinking about Peggy, Paul, and the day's events. Those thoughts stayed in his mind for the rest of the day and the following week.

Tuesday of that week Jack received two calls. The first was a call from Gary informing him of the simple ceremony and cremation they had arranged for Peggy on Thursday. He was dismayed to learn that only Gary and two other members of staff would be present. Jack made it known that he would be attending and would bring his own floral tribute. Jack felt it was the least he could do for the lady who had shown him the true meaning of living. Gary insisted on meeting with him the following day to talk about his feelings for Peggy and his future.

The second call was from his Probation Officer, it was to inform him that following reports about his progress and recommendations from his Community Service Supervisor, an application was being put to the courts to have his Probation and Community Service Orders declared fulfilled and removed from his record. This would allow him to apply to a different university to restart his studies and hopefully take up his chosen career. Even though this was good news, he still felt down.

That night he had a fitful sleep tossing and turning, constant thoughts mourning his losses of the last six months. The loss of his dreams when he lost his place in university, was his own fault. The loss of a close friend for who he still couldn’t understand his feelings for, again, his own fault. The loss of his family who, he thought, would be there for him, yet again, his own fault. All through his own stupid actions, and not being able to understand his feelings and emotions. Finally, the loss of a new friend who was like a grandmother to him, the grandmother he never had but always wanted, was not his fault, it hurt, and it all hurt deeply.

Wednesday morning, Jack showered and had breakfast, if you can call coffee and a half slice of toast breakfast. Just after ten, his phone rang he answered it and realised it was Gary, he was sitting outside in his car waiting so Jack slipped his jacket on and went downstairs to meet him. Gary noticed that Jack was not at his best and recognised the signs of someone descending into depression. Deciding that this needed immediate action to nip it in the bud, as a pre-emptive measure, he announced that as Jack was a Bristolian and not from Birmingham, he should pay the museum at Cadbury World a visit. Gary hoped this would be an uplifting distraction and allow them to talk without pressure.

Initially, Jack wasn’t in the best of moods, as he learned more of the history of John Cadbury and his family, how as Quaker's they were committed to the well-being of their workforce and as the business expanded they committed more to looking after them and gave support to other deserving causes, Jack began opening up about his feelings and fears. Gary listened and offered support as a good friend would. Although they had only recently met, Gary felt protective of Jack and began to understand what Peggy had seen in him. Gary suggested to Jack that he write about his feelings and try to make contact with his family and Li and talk to them, hopefully, this would lead to regaining those lost relationships. As the day came to a close Gary offered to pick up Jack on his way to the crematorium, Jack accepted the offer on condition that they could stop at a florist to buy flowers for Peggy. Touched by Jack's commitment and feelings, Gary readily agreed.

Nine o’clock Thursday morning arrived and Gary picked up Jack. They stopped at several florists before Jack managed to buy what he wanted. They made their way to Yardley Crematorium, which was local to where Peggy had previously lived and where her husband had been cremated. Jack was surprised to see that Paul had come to say his goodbyes and to give Jack support. The short non-denominational service had been touching and had Jack clutching at the cross and chain around his neck. The Minister had talked about Peggy and her vibrant spirit, how cancer had overtaken and broken her body but not her spirit and how she would live on in those that remembered her and help to give them strength for their future. The Minister also spoke of Peggy's feelings for the young man who had befriended her and selflessly given his time to her. Peggy’s future now was to join her husband, Jack, forever in the hereafter. The Minister, Gary and his two colleagues, and Paul were all touched by Jack’s thoughtful floral tribute, twenty-four white roses interspersed by six blue roses. They were Peggy’s favourites and, as Jack had remembered her telling him, the flowers in her wedding bouquet the day she married.

As Jack left the crematorium still clutching the cross and chain, he heard a voice within himself as though Peggy was talking to him. ‘Let go of that broken spirit inside you Jack, let it die so that a new one can be born. Accept and be true to yourself and live your life to the full.’

Over the following months, Gary remained a good friend and often invited Jack to his home, introducing him to his wife and children, he encouraged Jack to follow up on his previous suggestions. Thankfully Jack did, he wrote of the bad days, which were many at the start and the good days, which grew in number. Jack attended a few more funerals during that time. When Paul passed, Jack was almost inconsolable. He made contact with his family they were more than happy to hear from him. They accepted him for who he is and rebuilt their relationships, which are stronger than ever before. It took a while longer for him to contact Li, but he did build up the courage to call him one night. Their friendship, although tentative at first, built and gained strength to become what it is today. With Gary's and Li's support, Jack returned to university, qualifying at University Hospitals Birmingham with Birmingham University as a Clinical Psychologist and building a good reputation for himself.

On the eve of starting his new studies, we burned the notes he had been keeping and celebrated the death of a broken spirit and allowed it to be reborn, giving him a new spirit which has never been lost. I’m happy for him and happy for me. Why? Tomorrow, nine years after these events, Jack becomes my husband.

Who am I? Let’s just say tomorrow we will be Jack and Li Deveraux-Qiang, wish us luck.