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    Myr
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  • 286 Words
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  • 10 Comments

Sci-Fi Flash Collection - 1. Jupiter Run

This scene was written when I was practicing story hooks. It kind of served as a seed to other things I have written since. This pre-dates me starting Gay Authors.

The ship was rocked so violently by the impact that eighteen-year-old Valin Sturgis was thrown out of his bunk and across the room. The display lights all blinked out at once leaving the room in complete darkness. A few moments later, the emergency lighting kicked in, leaving the room bathed in bright red light.

The boy blinked at the ceiling in confusion. He sat up quickly when he heard the computer’s voice.

“Emergency lighting is now activated. Hull breach in the adjacent section. Immediate evacuation of this section is required. Please follow emergency direction lights located on the wall panels.”

The voice continued to repeat the evacuation directions. Val leaped to his feet, grabbed his one bag and went straight at the door. The automatic door only unlocked and opened a few centimeters. Val immediately put his fingers in the gap and pried the door opened.

As soon as he was in the corridor, he saw the evacuation lights chasing each other to the left. He looked right and saw the pressure door at the end of the hallway closed. What caused him to turn and run left though was that he could see space through the window of the pressure door. It used to be the starboard side corridor of the ship.

The lights directed him to an airlock, which he promptly entered. He had no sooner stepped into the airlock than the shipped rocked violently again and he was thrown to the floor. The airlock door slammed shut, and he could hear the air rush out of the corridor he was just standing in. His ears popped a little when the pressure was brought back to normal, and the other door opened.

Copyright © 2018 Myr; All Rights Reserved.

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I just logged on, after doing some classwork, and the first thing I saw was a notification that Myr posted a new story.

 

This short scene is excellently written and had great visuals. Had to fill in some of the details, myself, but I could practically see and feel Valin's fear as he ran following the lights. Left me wanting more!

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11 minutes ago, BHopper2 said:

Left me wanting more!

Cool... My exercise in hook writing was a success 

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11 minutes ago, Myr said:

Cool... My exercise in hook writing was a success 

:yes: I'm definitely hooked.  I could feel the tension and fear, and pictured everything vividly.  Now I want to know who destroyed the ship and why, along with what happens to Val afterwards.  And you can't go wrong with a main character named Val.  ;) :gikkle: 

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Okay, I am hooked! :D 

 

I hope there will be more forthcoming, please and thank you... ;)

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You baited the hook and plenty of us bit. Is this a catch and release exercise or are you going to reel us in with more?

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This little hook scene served as a starting point for a real scene I did write for an upcoming anthology.

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Instantly engaged. I'm happy to hear there is more to this in an upcoming anthology. There is so much I want to know, so I look forward to it, Myr. Cheers... Gary....

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