A Second Chance - 6. Distress

(Adam)

The chatter of people and the clinging of cups and glasses filled the air in the old-timey coffee shop I decided to have my lunch break in. Sitting at a table next to the window and watching people passing by, I was slowly drawing circles in my cappuccino with a tiny coffee spoon.

Zack would be there shortly and I was trying to come up with the right words to say to him. Ugh, I always hated that part, whether I was on the receiving end or not. Telling someone it’s not going to work out is never fun. You just want to get it over with as quickly as possible and move on. Even when you know the other person is nice and reasonable, it’s still not easy. Hell, it may be even harder because you don’t want to hurt them.

Still, Kaleo was a big motivator for me to get this unpleasant task over with. He still hasn’t officially told me he’d stay, but that didn’t matter. There was no point in me seeing Zack anymore if I’m in love with someone else. Of course, I was hoping with all my heart that Kaleo would make the right choice and stay with me. This was his last day at the hotel and I kept checking my phone to see if he’d call or text.

As I picked it up again, thinking of sending him a quick text, a tall, slender figure appeared in front of me, wearing his signature man bun and trimmed beard, a handsome smile spread across his face.

“Is this seat taken?” Zack said, drawing my attention.

“Oh, hey there, didn’t see you come in,” I blurted out in surprise, even though I was waiting for him. My mind was so distracted, I barely managed to point to the chair for him to sit down. I guess he found it amusing, as he just shook his head and chuckled.

The waiter appeared unusually quickly, taking Zack’s order of a vanilla mocha.

“What’s gotten you so distracted?”

“Oh, just… I have a lot on my mind,” I replied, trying to be unspecific and looking down at my cup as if something really interesting had just appeared in it.

“Work stuff?”

“Yeah, among other things.” I lifted my head to look at Zack. “I’m glad you could meet me, I wasn’t sure if you’d have the time.”

“Well, you know, it’s good to have flexible hours,” he said. “So, what happened on Friday? You know, when your friend came over? You seemed shocked to see him, I thought you were gonna have a fucking stroke.”

I chuckled and nearly avoided spilling cappuccino through my nose. Zack laughed and offered me a napkin.

“Well, you did,” he said, amused at me making a mess. “I was nearly ready to call the ambulance.”

Damn it, Zack, you do make me laugh. If I’d met you a few years ago, I’d snap you up like nobody’s business, but you stood no chance against Kaleo.

“Actually, that’s why I wanted to see you,” I said slowly. “Kaleo… He’s more than a friend.”

“Oh,” Zack nodded, giving me a knowing look. I could tell right away he knew what was coming and it made me feel really bad.

“Yeah. I just… I never thought I’d see him again, and now that he’s back, I have to give us a try, me and him.”

Well, there we go, I did what I had to do. I don’t know how Zack felt at that moment, but I felt like shit.

“I’m sorry.”

“Yeah, me too,” Zack nodded. “I understand, though. So, it’s serious between you guys,” he said, more of a statement than a question.

“Yeah, it is. I think we had some… special connection from the first time we met.” I had to stop myself at that point. I was able – and willing – to talk about Kaleo till the cows come home, but I was sure Zack didn’t want to listen to it. Neither would I in his position.

“I’m glad for you two,” he said, totally winning the ‘bigger man’ award. In fact, he really sounded sincere. Damn, if there was a ‘biggest man of the year’ award, he’d probably be at least nominated.

“Thanks, you’re a great guy,” I smiled. “If you want to stay friends, I’d like that.”

“Yeah, maybe,” he replied, though this time I wasn’t sure if he really meant it.

We spent a few more minutes chatting while we finished our caffeine-loaded drinks. I thought it was going to be awkward after the conversation we’d just had, but it was surprisingly pleasant despite me feeling bad the entire time. After a promise to stay in touch and maybe hang out sometime in the future, Zack left and I quickly followed, returning to work.

My first stop was at my boss’ office, wanting to check on any progress made with Doug. Roger Perry perhaps wasn’t the most sophisticated man, especially for someone of his position and social status, but he certainly knew how to get the job done. He ran ‘Sunshine’ with high efficiency, doing everything in his power to make the institution safe and welcoming for children who needed it, but also to expand it and attract donors and investors. Sure, maybe he was prone to using tactics that wouldn’t be out of place in Del Boy’s business dealings in Only Fools and Horses, but he knew how to run this place.

“I spoke to Doug’s teachers and the school principal and they’ve ensured me he’d be safe from now on. Otherwise, the media and authorities will be informed all about their school’s lack of basic security and care for students’ well-being,” Mr. Perry said in one breath. “However… I’m not so sure Doug wants to return there.”

“Oh, I haven’t spoken to him about it,” I raised my eyebrows.

“Yeah, he seems reluctant to go back, and I don’t blame him. He’s an introverted kid, and with what he’s been through these past few weeks, I can understand if he doesn’t want to return. Maybe you can talk to him about it as well?”

“Yeah, I absolutely will,” I confirmed.

“There’s also the matter of his parents,” my boss said, sighing. “I know they kicked him out, and he can stay here, of course, there’s room for him. Even if there wasn’t, I’d buy him a bed, build a new room! But we still have to talk to them.”

“Of course,” I nodded. “I’d like to be present.” I knew it wouldn’t be pleasant, but I wanted to see what kind of people would kick their son out just for being gay. I knew it was a fat chance of changing their minds, but we had to try.

“I thought you would. I’ll arrange for a visit and let you know.”

“Thanks, boss,” I replied with a polite smile. Excusing myself, I returned to the office. The talk with Mr. Perry made me relieved. I knew something would be done to make sure Doug is safe, but that didn’t mean what happened didn’t affect him deeply. That was something that’d be much harder to resolve.

Thinking about work issues was just a temporary distraction from Kaleo. As soon as I left ‘Sunshine’ and sat in my car, my thoughts returned to my sweet, handsome man.

Once again, I drove straight to the hotel and as I unlocked the door to his penthouse, I heard him talk on the phone. He was sitting on the balcony, admiring the view of the city.

Quickly disrobing and changing into my everyday clothes, I plopped down on the couch and waited for Kaleo to finish his phone call. Keeping my head up so I could look at Kaleo, I saw him stand up and head toward the balcony door, freezing as he saw me laying there and smiling at him. He walked in without a word, looking as if he was about to start crying any moment now.

“Baby, is everything alright?”

He shook his head and sat next to me, looking devastated but allowing me to pull him closer into an embrace. Whatever it was, I was sure we could get past it together.

--

(Kaleo)

Adam sure slept like a baby, but I couldn’t, as much as him lying beside me and slowly breathing in and out was soothing and comfortable. My mind was racing, thinking of what to do with my life. I needed to make a decision and even though my heart had decided as soon as I stepped into Adam’s apartment for the first time, my brain was still fighting with me. I knew didn’t want to leave Adam, but I needed to convince myself that what we had was a sure thing and that I’d be able to build a new life with him here in Chicago.

At some point during the night, I did manage to fall asleep despite my brain working overtime. I woke up to the smell of coffee and breakfast that was delivered to our room. I was never a big coffee drinker, but there was something about its aroma in the morning that made it so enchanting, so I just had to start my day with a cup.

Adam was already half-dressed, munching on his toast with boysenberry jam and sipping coffee.

“Hey,” I greeted him as I lifted my head and propped myself on my elbows. “When did you get up?”

“Good morning! A while ago,” he smiled at me. “Slept like a baby!”

“Mmm, I’m glad.” I got up, drawn by the food on the small table in front of me. Besides toast and jam, breakfast also included croissants sprinkled with sesame and cumin, smoked ham, organic eggs and apple juice.

“This looks so good, I’m starving.”

“Well come on, then, take a bite,” Adam said as he extended his hand and fed me some toast.

Yeah, I don’t care even a bit that I’m thirty-one, I want him to feed me every morning. Sitting opposite of Adam, I helped myself to some croissants and ham. After we filled our stomachs, he finished getting dressed for work while I was lazying about, thinking of what to do while he was gone. After treating me with another one of his irresistible kisses, he left and I decided to do some more sightseeing.

Walking around the neighborhood, window shopping and watching strangers passing by, I started contemplating life in Chicago and what the move would mean for me. How is life here different from life in LA? Would I even fit in? Would I be able to find a job in my profession? If not, would I be willing to do something else? All of these unknowns were flooding my brain, but I had no answers to any. All I could do was guess.

Until at one point I realized I may have been approaching the problem from the wrong angle. Instead of thinking of what moving to Chicago would be like, I should’ve been asking myself – does it beat the alternative? If I stayed in LA, what would I be doing? I could rent an apartment, get my old job back – which was good, but not great – and live like I used to. However, the biggest downside was that I would be alone. Even if I did manage to meet someone else, which was not that unlikely, they wouldn’t be Adam. And I didn’t want anyone else but him.

Looking in a window of a shoe store, I looked up and saw my reflection, smiling, as the realization hit me like a truck.

I had my answer.

Back at the hotel room, I was anxious for Adam to return from work to tell him the good news. I couldn’t sit still so I chose to pack my things and get ready to go to his place as soon as he came back. As I was looking around the penthouse, checking to see if I’d forgotten to pack anything, I heard my phone ring. Thinking it must be Adam, I hurried over to pick it up, but stopped when I saw an unknown number. It was an international call. Going out to the balcony, I sat at the tiny coffee table and answered the phone.

“Hello?”

“Kaleo, is that you?”

Immediately recognizing the female voice as Vicky, my cousin working at the hotel at Poa, I felt a chill run through me. She rarely called, so it must’ve been something important.

“Yeah, it’s me. Vicky?”

“Hey, cousin…”

“Hey, Vicky, how are you?” I tried to ask politely, but nerves got the better of me.

“I’m good, thanks. Listen, I… I had to call you to tell you,” she started hesitantly.

I feared I knew where this was going, and with all my heart I wished that I was wrong.

“I’m so sorry, but it’s your grandpa. He passed away today.”

My first instinct was to cry and yell at her and everyone. Why did he have to go? He was such a good man, a great grandpa, and I wanted to spend so much more time with him. Now I won’t get that chance…

After we finished the conversation, I didn’t have the will to do anything – not cry, not yell… I felt utterly defeated.

Silently, I got up and turned to go back inside, when I saw my Adam lying on the bed, looking at me expectantly.

“Baby, is everything alright?” he asked as I walked in without a word. I could see the worry in his eyes.

Sitting next to him, I let him put his arm around me. I needed that closeness, needed him to comfort me.

Vicky’s sentence kept replaying in my head, hitting me over and over until I finally found the strength to say it out loud.

“Pa is dead.”

With my head resting on Adam’s shoulder, I could feel his arms tighten around me and his lips pressing on top of my head, kissing me softly.

I needed to go back, as soon as possible. I had to go back to Poa and say goodbye.

Thanks to everyone for reading, and to my beta reader @glennish for his feedback!