They may not mean to, but they do - 23. Twenty-Three

Keith hadn’t thought about the hotel much at all. It wasn’t far, just 20 minutes up the A1, except of course traffic held them up. But then, as Thomas said, they had all the time in the world. But when Thomas turned off the A64 onto a smaller road, Keith started to wonder what they had let themselves in for.

“What’s this place like, then?”

“I’ve never been, but I gather it’s an old castle. You can stay in the castle itself, but plebs like us stay in some of the other buildings. They are all old though.”

“What’s a pleb?”

“Thee and me.” Thomas grinned at Keith, “One of the few benefits from being forced to do Latin at school. Pleb is short for plebian which was what the Romans called the common people.”

“It’s not Roman this place, is it?”

Thomas tried not to laugh, “No, but it is still old. Originally Medieval I think, knocked about a bit. The family sold it after the war, and it’s been all sorts of things since. It’s now a luxury hotel and day spa. With a good restaurant.”

“Wow. Shouldn’t we have got some decent clothes!”

“Nah, you watch, it’ll be full of people like us. And if we’re unlucky there’ll be a noisy wedding party.”

“Is that a problem? I supposed it might be”, Keith grinned, remembering some of the weddings he’d been to, “Mind, weddings here are bound to be quieter than the ones I’ve been to!”

“Don’t you bet on it.”

And they were there. It really was old, and actually did look like a castle. They didn’t however go to the main entrance, but round the back where there was an attractive courtyard with a pond in the middle. Keith wondered idly whether it had fish in it.

At reception, the young man was trying his best to be formal, serious, and upright, but he looked about 18 and Keith found it difficult to take him seriously. Like a kid wearing his Dad’s suit. But Keith was more interested in the swanky surroundings, they even smelled different. Thomas had told him the inside was modern, only the outsides were old, but still. Wow.

“Close your mouth before you catch any flies”.

Keith looked a bit abashed, “Sorry. It’s just, I’ve never been anywhere like it.”

“Premier Inn more like?”

Keith smiled, “That’s a treat, Travelodge usually.”

“It’s only a hotel, and they want to part you from your money. They are selling this luxury atmosphere, and if you can afford it then it’s yours. It’s not properly posh, it’s a fantasy for the middle class and the upwardly mobile working class.”

“More money than sense!” Keith was getting used to Thomas’ occasional diatribes about the world’s iniquities. Keith didn’t feel anything like as strongly, but he could understand. Then two young women walked past, long blond, expensively glossy, bleached hair, heavy make-up, dresses so short you could almost see tomorrow’s washing, as his Gran would have tutted, shoes so high they could barely walk. Neither seemed entirely sober, and they sailed past Keith and Thomas oblivious.

Thomas smiled at Keith, looking over at his reaction, “Welcome to Leeds on holiday!”

Their room was on the first floor, overlooking the courtyard. It was large and modern. Keith saw it as well-appointed, luxuriously fitted out and with a very comfortable king-size bed. Whilst he lay on the bed, Thomas wandered around and criticised the décor from a more artistic point of view as he’d have preferred something more imaginative.

Keith was just exploring the bathroom, with its walk-in shower, working out what all the knobs were for and eliciting a ‘don’t get yourself wet!’ from an amused Thomas when Thomas’ phone buzzed. It was Alison, she had a table for tea on the terrace.

To Keith’s relief, when you looked closely, the hotel wasn’t as grand as it first appeared; Thomas was right, it was a product. He tried to think less about being out of place and simply enjoy himself.

-oOo-oOo-

“Isn’t this heavenly”, Alison’s eyes shone but there was a glint too, she knew that you had to buy into the fantasy. The terrace overlooked a neat lawn with an array of impressive old trees, there were polite waiters and the building behind them was seriously old, even if they knew that it wasn’t part of the castle’s main building but an extra built at some point by the owners. Yet in the distance, Keith could see a marquee which was where the wedding, or whatever the celebration was, took place.

“It’s certainly fancier than the hotels I usually use.”

“Me too”, Alison looked as if she was going to share a revelation, “work doesn’t usually run to anything fancier than a Premier Inn or Travelodge”, at the mention of these Keith and Thomas smiled conspiratorially, “and on holiday, I’m walking so you make do with whatever is available. Usually, a B&B where welcome and friendliness make up for any lack of facilities. How’s your room?”

They discussed practicalities, compared facilities in their rooms, Alison wanted to know if they’d spotted the bidet yet, whilst Thomas wanted to find out what the décor in Alison’s room was like. Then suddenly she was all business-like, “Now, what are you two going to do whilst you are here?”

“Walk, I presume, there seemed plenty of space to do that”, Keith was a town boy and walking was about the only country pursuit he did.

“I thought we might go into Tadcaster for a wander round, after all the town has three breweries”.

“And a racecourse”, Alison’s eyes sparkled mischievously.

“I never really fancied the gee-gees, what about you Keith?”

Keith shook his head, “I’ve never seen the point, footy’s more my thing”, then he turned to Alison, “What are you going to do?”

“Ah, I plan to luxuriate in the Spa all day, I’ve booked a whole day of treatments and relaxation, by tomorrow evening I will be blissed out.”

Thomas smiled, “Spaced out more like!”

“That too. You should try something, as hotel guests you get a discount. There’s a sauna or a massage.”

Alison got up to leave, to allow plenty of time “To make myself beautiful”, said with heavy irony. Keith decided he liked Alison, and the weekend could be fun.

“Do you fancy the sauna?”, Thomas looked at Keith. From somewhere Thomas had acquired the hotel’s leaflet about its spa treatments. Thomas quoted the sauna price, for two, and they both quickly decided that that wasn’t of interest. Thomas admitted that after spending much of his working life in the heart of Africa, he rather preferred the cool whilst Keith said he’d never actually been to a sauna. They smiled at each other, and Keith spotted the massage menu. They ended up deciding to have a massage in the morning, followed by a relaxing walk then Tadcaster for a late lunch, beer and visit to a Brewery shop or something.

-oOo-oOo-

“So, what have you two boys been up to?”

They were sitting in the restaurant, menus were being brought, they had drinks in front of them, Gin and Tonic for Alison and Thomas, Bacardi and Coke for Keith mainly because that was all he could think of. The drinks arrived with a dish of olives and other nibbly things.

The restaurant was in one of the older buildings, with low ceilings and old stone walls. It certainly wasn’t as grand as Keith had expected, though Thomas informed him that there was a posh dining room in the castle, but it was reserved for special parties paying extra. In fact, the restaurant reminded Keith of some of the fancier pub restaurants he’d been to.

What had they been up to? “We went to the African exhibition at Leeds Art Gallery on Sunday, my first trip there since I was at school”, Keith made a rueful grin on this admission.

“Do you know, it’s years since I’ve been, I have to admit. They have great exhibitions but”, she shrugged, “there’s never time. And more usually it’s going to a smaller gallery for a friend or colleague’s show.”

They explained about the show, though Alison seemed less interested in the art itself than the charity behind it so that Keith’s comprehensive reading of the explanation boards came in helpful. Keith was just trying to answer Alison’s question as to what his favourite piece had been when the waiter arrived with the menus and there followed talk about the daily specials and such like.

“Well?”, Thomas looked enquiringly at Keith, “any thoughts?”

“I’ve never come across beef cheeks before.”

“Well, they must have them, so we can presume they are edible.”

Alison looked up from their menu, “Cooked slowly they are very tender, I think I might have them”, she looked over at Keith, “You eat meat?”

Keith nodded and Thomas laughed, “Of course, he’s probably deciding which grill to have.”

Keith grinned, “I’m not. I want to live dangerously. Korma’s a curry, right?”

Thomas, “Well, I’ve always known it so.”

Alison added, “Seems it bit odd to come to this sort of restaurant and have a curry.”

“That’s what I thought, and there are some great curry houses near home. Are you having the fish?”, this to Thomas, who nodded.

“Right, I’m going to have the duck. There isn’t any game.”

Alison smiled, “Ah, wrong season, they are not allowed to shoot them whilst they are breeding.”

“Oh, I’d sort of fancied having something like that. I’ve never tried pheasant or partridge.”

Thomas looked over at him, “We’ll have to come back.”

It was comforting to think of planning the future, that they would be back in the Autumn when game was in season. Did gay men celebrate anniversaries, Keith presumed so and wondered about Greg and Bart. Almost certainly. But what was Thomas and his anniversary, the first time they had sex? It seemed hardly something to celebrate, perhaps the first time they did it properly, on the moor, or even the first time Thomas stayed over. Keith would have to ask.

“Hello, earth to Keith, come in Keith.”

Keith went red, “Sorry, I was thinking about anniversaries.”

Alison looked curious, “Anniversaries?”

Thomas smiled, and Keith felt Thomas knew what Keith had been thinking. The need to explain was removed by the advent of the waiter to take their orders. Keith quickly chose a starter at random. He’d never had a souffle, and though it seemed strange to serve it with jam (compote was jam wasn’t it, well he’d find out).

“They don’t hurry do they”, Keith looked around at the tables, relaxed with no-one rushing around.

“Of course not, they have an experience to sell us!”, but Thomas took the sting out of it by smiling.

“You are enjoying it”, this was said quietly so that it wasn’t so obvious to Alison.

“You bet”, Thomas beamed, “I’ve not had a decent meal like this for years, might be decades.”

Alison picked up their conversation, “I see we will have to educate you a bit.”

“You eat like this a lot?” Keith was curious and dared the question.

Alison broke into laughter, “I’m afraid not. Some of it is simple economics, but also when we go walking, these places are a bit rare. Still, there have been some terrific meals and I always mean to do more. Perhaps we should treat ourselves occasionally.”

She looked at the two of them, and Keith nodded whilst Thomas agreed, and they started talking about other restaurants in their areas. Some Keith had heard of, some not, then he remembered a couple of places that he’d worked on and mentioned them.

“You’ve been to the En1wood Arms?” This was Thomas, curious about how Keith had been to such a ritzy place and never mentioned it.

Keith chuckled, “Technically, I did a lot of re-wiring there a few years ago. They were nice folk, but I wouldn’t want to work in those kitchens, they don’t half push the staff hard. It’d be fun to go back as a punter.”

“Perhaps they’ll give you a discount!”

“Fat chance of that. Guy that owns it skimped on the work something rotten, tight as a pig’s arse.” Keith looked startled as if the last phrase had popped out his mouth unawares, but they all laughed, and the conversation flowed quite easily, food, walking, art, and even football (Alison proved to have a keen interest in it which surprised Keith). Relaxed and enjoyable, Keith thought that they had fulfilled the requirement to keep Alison entertained.