They may not mean to, but they do - 10. Ten

"That’s the first time I’ve done it with a guy on a bed."

"So, you don’t count last week, on the moors?"

Keith smiled, and playfully punched Thomas, "Course not”, he put on a comically strong local accent, “I were well brung up and know what a bed is."

"So, will you do it again?"

"Oh, I think so", Keith leaned over and kissed Thomas. And they did.

The sex and intimacy were not without problems, a new partner, inexperience, a desire to ‘do it right’ and simple nerves. At one point Keith exclaimed involuntarily, ‘Shit, I think it was easier with a fanny’. It simply came out, without thinking, yet that was what had been going through his head, the idea that sex with his girlfriend and such had seemed so much more straightforward. With a bloke, there were so many possibilities.

He looked, mortified at Thomas, the edges of whose mouth curled up, "But this way is much more fun", and before they knew it, they were laughing. Partly nerves, but it relieved tension and laughter would be a feature of their love-making in future.

"Or maybe I’m just crap at it?"

"What?"

"You know, sex. Perhaps me girlfriend thought I was rubbish too."

Thomas leaned over and kissed him, "I don’t think you’re rubbish, and I’m certainly not keeping score. After all, neither of us is exactly Casanova!"

Keith smiled, "Nah, I suppose not."

"And we can learn, from each other. Perhaps it would help if we talked more."

"You mean when we’re doing it?"

Thomas nodded, "People do."

"Girls I’ve been with have always wanted me to put a sock in it, so to speak."

"It can help if you let someone know what works and what doesn’t."

"Sort of left a bit, right a bit?"

Thomas rippled with amusement, "Sort of."

Keith smirked, "Well, on that basis, could you do what you were doing with your tongue, earlier…" Keith was new to many things, and the delights of rimming were just one of many to be mutually tried and enjoyed.

They had already opened the wine, but only finally got to the food much, much later, when hunger pangs began to triumph over everything else. They didn’t get properly dressed; neither felt entirely comfortable naked, even though no-one could see them. Keith pulled on a pair of shorts and Thomas produced what looked like pyjama bottoms from his bag. He explained to Keith, he slept naked usually, unless it was really cold, but needed something to make himself decent if he went for a piss in the night. It had become a habit, over the years.

As they ate, Keith returned to the subject of the picture that Thomas had brought him, and was curious about what life had been like, working for an NGO in Ghana. Thomas kept it light, an anecdotal travelogue without, however, disguising the problems that they had faced.

And so, the evening unwound in a gentle manner, sexy yet comfortable. There was one awkward moment when, without thinking, Keith asked a question that sort of just popped into his head. It had been clear from Thomas’ stories that he had enjoyed working in Africa, first in Zimbabwe and then in Ghana; he had enjoyed both the countries and the peoples, so Keith was curious what led to Thomas’ departure and eventual residency in Yorkshire. It was only when the question was asked that it occurred to Keith that the reason might not be one Thomas wanted to talk about.

"Cowardice, really."

"Cause you were gay?"

"Partly, as I got more senior in the charity it became harder to keep it completely under the covers and seemed to get more of a strain. Perhaps, like you, I was pretending in some way, but there was no major event. There was something else as well."

He paused and looked at his hands for a bit, before continuing, "It's not very admirable really. When I first went, like a lot of young kids I saw myself as being some sort of saviour, bringing help to a deprived country. As I got to know the countries, I realised that though they were sometimes woefully poor, these were vibrant living cultures in a way that our television age has missed. But as I got more senior, I found the strain of having to work with local officials. As I saw it at first, we could do it far better on our own.

“The folk I worked with all railed about the iniquities of colonialism, and we saw ourselves as working towards alleviating its after-effects. But it was only slowly that I became aware that we were just a different type of colonialism. In the 19th century, it had been missionaries who brought religion and ‘civilisation’ to improve the lot of the natives, whilst in our age, it was charity workers and their views on the correct way of doing things."

Keith didn’t know what to say, so he simply kept quiet and just made encouraging noises.

"I wasn’t the only one, of course, and what I should have done was stay and try to work towards a model where we provide support to the countries’ own efforts at improvement. But I suppose, you could say that my personal sense of charity ran out, I simply didn’t have the energy."

"Sounds like you needed a holiday, a proper break."

"Yeah, but I didn’t really accept that I was burned out. Looking back, I think Caroline might have been right, she once referred to it as my breakdown."

"Shit."

Thomas smiled, "Don’t worry, I’ve learned the signs, and it won’t happen again. Besides, I now have a more normal personal life as well."

"You call this normal?", Keith gestured to them sitting with a glass of wine, in their underwear.

Thomas smiled but continued his narration, "Then Nate got posted here. He’d previously worked in nice middle-class suburbs but wanted a more varied parish. And he quickly got involved in initiatives in the poorer, more deprived areas. I was shocked, naively shocked, at the amount of deprivation. Not just money, but culture. There are some areas where the only culture is what they see on TV. I think Nate steered me a bit."

"You mean he wanted you to get this job?"

"Not quite, though he was delighted. He wanted me to see that there was plenty for me to do in England, to get me back home where he and Caroline could keep an eye on me. I hadn’t realised, until it was too late, quite how much of a strain my absence caused."

"You two close?"

"Not specially, but we don’t fight either. It’s just that we only have each other as relatives. Neither of our parents came from prolific families, and somehow, it's now just us. I’m sure there must be distant cousins somewhere, but there’s not Auntie Vi or cousin Julia in the wings to worry about you. How about you, you have any family?"

"A few cousins on Dad’s side I think, but we lost touch when Mum died, Dad wasn’t bothered, and I somehow lost the habit."

"Perhaps you should get in contact?"

"Yeah, I ought. If I can find their details. So how come you ended up working at the charity now?"

"Nate was working on a committee in Leeds when the subject came up. And he sort of knows Alison, who’s the head of the school where we’re based. But the job fitted, that was what made it ideal. Though Nate and Caroline were glad when I settled down as they saw it!"

"Is that what it feels like, settling down?"

"Perhaps. At least, I want to try and put down roots here after being what Nate referred to as an eternal student."

"But you had a proper job."

"Yeah, with few real prospects and crap money. And a likely chance of real burn-out. My work now might seem frantic to you, but I assure you it’s a lot more sedate than my previous experiences.

“They’re going to want to meet you, you know. Properly, stay overnight, not just a meal or something."

"Nate and Caroline?"

"Yeah. You don’t know how curious two such polite, apparently unassuming people can be. You can’t shake them off. I’ve said it’s too soon, but do you think you could face a visit? They’ll be polite and friendly, but I warn you, by the time you leave they’ll know everything about you."

Keith responded to Thomas’ half-serious half in jest warning with a smile, "That’s OK, there’s not much to know. But OK, yes, we’ll do it some time." He thought about it, "It’s a bit scary too. I never did the meet-the-parents thing with my girlfriend. She’d fallen out with them big time. And Dad wanted nothing to do with anyone."

"Sorry, I didn’t mean it to be scary, I just … Well, let's let it ride for a bit and see what develops. Nate’s a bit busy at the moment anyroad, so we’d never see him, which is hardly the point."

Bed, when it came, was the sheer novelty of being together in a bed, with clean sheets. They cuddled up and enjoyed the intimacy, the feeling of flesh on flesh.