Tommy’s Coming (Cumming) of Age - 2. Why Are My Feelings Different?

The next day at lunch two of his friends proudly told about their viewing of the web site. Al had used his father’s credit card to buy ten days of action for $8. It had stated the charge would be listed as CP Enterprises. He knew that his father did not examine his monthly statement in detail and hopefully would not question an $8 charge. He described in detail the girls with the big tits, spread legs showing shaved pussies and guys playing with them. There were scenes of guys eating pussy, girls sucking dicks and guys fucking in various positions. Al laughed about a scene where two guys were with a girl. She was on her back and one was fucking her while the other stood over them jerking off. He continued, “The grossest thing I have ever seen was when the standing guy leaned forward and the other guy who was pumping his big rod into the pussy leaned in and took the other guy’s dick in his mouth. After a while of getting sucked off the standing guy pulled out and aimed his dick toward the face of the other who kept his mouth wide open. He shot a massive load into the open mouth. The fucking guy just kept pumping as he licked the cum on his lips and swallowed it. Totally gross. What kind of pervert would do that? That is so gay and nasty. I would kick any guy in the nuts that even looked at my wonderful piece.”

One of the others, “That is gross, what a bunch of homos. No guy is ever going to touch my dick. It is reserved for the lips of a lady.” All joked, including Tommy, about two guys doing anything together. As Tommy sat in history class the next period he could only think of a guy sucking another guy. Why was he getting a hardon in class just thinking about it while his buddies had all agreed it was gross?

That night as Tommy wrapped his hand around his hard dick he shut his eyes visualizing a guy sucking his dick. He watched in the mirror over his dresser as he shot a humungous load into a tissue. The cumming was so intense that he felt lightheaded and almost lost his balance. Crawling under his covers he continued his thoughts. Why did his friends think one guy sucking another was gross while he didn’t? Although it had been less than ten minutes since his cumming he was hard again. He reached for a tissue with one hand just as another intense load spurted out. Usually a good jackoff would help him relax and fall asleep. This night he could not sleep. He had to get onto that site and watch those videos. But how? Then he remembered, Saturday night he was again going to baby sit for the Forster’s. After he tucked the boys in he would check out that web site.

Saturday evening as soon as Mr. and Mrs. Forster left Tommy played games with the boys. Then while they watched TV he went to Mr. Forster’s den and turned on the computer. With anticipation he typed in the web address of the porn site. He felt a feeling of ecstasy as he saw the message ‘You must be at least 18 years of age to enter.’ He then clicked on ‘I understand this site has adult material.’ Knowing he could not look at this site while the boys were still up he closed it and went to the Boston Celtics (basketball team) home page and left it displayed as he led the boys upstairs and following baths got them settled in bed. He then returned downstairs and with agony watched TV while he waited for the boys to fall asleep. Thirty minutes later he checked on them and both were sound asleep. Since during all previous babysitting sessions neither had awakened he felt it would be safe to finally check out the site.

Tommy was trembling with anticipation as he typed in the web address. He clicked the ‘Enter’ box. A naked lady appeared on the screen. Between her spread legs was a message. ‘Welcome to the Cumulicious Party. Join our party: One year of partying $69, one month $12, ten days $8, Sneak preview – Free’. The boys at lunch had discussed this and Tommy clicked the ‘Sneak Preview’ option. The screen filled with twenty small boxes, each had a sex act pictured. He selected one with a good looking man of about thirty. For about twenty seconds he saw this guy fucking a girl. The next one he selected showed a guy with his head between the legs of a lady. Tommy did not watch all twenty seconds. The third had a guy getting a blow job. Then he found the one with two guys and a girl. He knew he would not see the entire video since he had not paid. But seeing these two naked guys for just twenty seconds was amazing. On another he saw a girl playing with a hard uncircumcised dick, pulling the skin over the head and back. By now Tommy was rock hard as he looked at that dick and wondered how it would feel to have skin moving over his head. . He unzipped his pants and stroked his cut dick as he watched the uncut dick short video again and again. He shot a huge load into a tissue. He continued to look at other short previews and soon was stroking himself again. Finally after his third cumming as he watched the Cumulicious Party he was able to turn off the computer. He was watching a movie on Netflix when the Forsters returned home.

Back home in his bed Tommy thought about the sights of the night. Why did he enjoy looking at videos of guys? His friends had used the words ‘gay’ and ‘homo’ when discussing the video with the two guys. Was he gay, a homo? The next day, Sunday, he told his parents he would use the home computer to research a history assignment. He hoped he could find information about gays and homos that did not have pictures. Just to be safe he opened pages about Connecticut industries during World War II. He then opened another screen and entered ‘gay’. He was astounded at the number of resources that appeared on the screen. Too much information. Almost as a joke he entered ‘am I gay?’. To his surprise a list of websites popped up. He visits the NHS (National Health Service of Great Britain) site. There was a list of topics to explore: Am I gay? What if I’m gay? Should I tell anyone I think I’m gay? What about sex if I’m gay? STDs with someone of the same sex. How to get free condoms. How to cope if you’re bullied for being gay. This was overwhelming to a fourteen year old. Just when he was going to find out what STD meant he heard someone coming down the hall. He quickly closed the pages and was looking at a Connecticut History site when his mother stuck her head in the door. “I’m getting ice cream for dad and I, would you like some? That ended his gay search for the day. The following Saturday evening after putting the boys to bed he sat at Mr. Forster’s computer reading information on the NHS site. That evening he never looked at a video or photo with naked men. Instead he read three web sites with information about sex for teenagers. On another site he checked out penis growth and size. Following instructions on how to measure a hard dick he found a ruler in the top desk drawer and was pleased with himself that he was above average for a fourteen year old. After reading the information on the web sites he now realized he was ‘gay’ and he had been all his life. He knew that it was not something acquired but in his genes since birth. He also was aware that many people including politicians as well as those considered highly educated did not understand how or why someone could be gay. Having read the information about telling others he was gay he realized for now this must be a secret that he shared with no one.

He was now babysitting about three times a month. The one activity that he really enjoyed that he could share with the world was basketball. Almost every day he practiced in his driveway shooting into the basket over the garage door. Sometimes Mr. Forster would join him. Since his neighbor had played both high school and college basketball he looked forward to their one on one games. When little Sean and Bobby joined them they modified the rules for the little ones. Usually Mr. Forster wore loose fitting shorts. Tommy could see the bulge of his dick and he was distracted as he thought about its size and how the balls hung.

One Saturday evening soon after his fifteenth birthday Tommy was sitting at the computer in Mr. Forster’s home office. He had found web sites with videos that showed movies up to ten minutes long of guys doing various acts, alone and with others. Since it was after 10:00 he felt safe pulling out his dick so he could jackoff with the guy on the screen. He was stroking in unison with the screen friend and was just about to shoot a load with a tissue in hand when suddenly he heard the outside door opening. A voice called, “Hi, we’re home sooner than expected.” Tommy immediately zipped up and closed the web page he was watching. His dick immediately went limp. He stood and walked out of the den and toward the kitchen as Mr. and Mrs. Forster entered. Tommy told them that the boys had been good and went to bed with no fuss. Mrs. Forster briefly told him about the James Bond thriller, Spectre, they had seen and suggested Tommy would enjoy it. She paid him and Tommy thanked her. As soon as he walked out of the back door he began shaking. What if he had been caught with his dick in hand while watching naked man porn? At home he had a brief conversation with his parents who were watching TV and then went up to his bedroom. By the time he was alone he had calmed down and was soon standing in front of the mirror visualizing the guy covered with tattoos who he had just watched jerking off. Although it had been less than fifteen minutes since he had almost been caught he was shooting a healthy load into a tissue. He put on his pajamas and crawled into bed and began trembling as he thought of the consequences of being discovered.

Meanwhile Mr. Forster told his wife he would check his email before coming to bed. He sat at his computer that was still on. When he clicked on the icon to turn on foxfire he realized it was already open. While Tommy had closed the page he was watching in his panic he forgotten that he had left another page open. Mr. Forster was surprised to see a page with a list of videos, all gay. He clicked on one. A guy was sitting on a sofa. Another entered the room. Following a brief conversation both were naked. One was soon on his knees giving head, swallowing the magnum dick of his friend to its base. They messed around more and soon one was shooting a load into the other’s mouth while finishing himself with his hand. Jay Forster felt his own dick getting hard as he watched another video. He then checked the web history and discovered Tommy had been on at least four gay sites that evening. Jay was a man who happily went both ways. During college he and his roommate had encounters of the best time. His roommate was a bottom and Jay an eager top. Since college he had suppressed thoughts of man sex and had happily serviced his wife. He turned off the computer and went upstairs. His wife asked if there were any interesting emails. He replied “no”. Getting naked he crawled into bed. Usually their love making was slow and passionate. Tonight he was ready for it now. She was surprised as he reached for her, pulled up her nightgown and immediately mounted her. He pumped and came after just a couple of thrusts. “I’m sorry. I was just really horny. Don’t know why, maybe watching James Bond and his girl friends in action got me going.” As the thought of the onscreen man to man action on his home computer watched by Tommy continued he again reached for his wife and this time had a long session they both totally enjoyed.

Jay Forster soon was hooked onto man porn. The week after his discovery Tommy again babysat. As soon as he and his wife returned home he went to his office to check email. After reviewing Tommy’s web history he looked in the waste basket under his desk and was not surprised to find a wet cum soaked tissue. He was impressed with the amount of cream the now fifteen year old had produced. Soon Mrs. Forster was again getting another aggressive fuck. After each babysitting session he checked Tommy’s web history. There was always a list of gay sites Tommy had watched. Jay was conflicted. On the one hand he thought he was perverting the mind of a teenager while on the other he realized he would have done the same if computers were available when he was that age. Also, he had not encouraged Tommy to look at such material. His friends at school must have shared porn web addresses. He remembered that when he was Tommy’s age one of his friends had a deck of cards. Each card had a photo of a naked lady or a man / lady scene. His favorite was one that showed a lady sitting on a guy’s stomach with his dick in her cunt. (Note: This photo on a playing card passed around was your author’s first exposure to porn in the 1950s). Tommy would have been looking at porn on a computer someplace. He just happened to be using his computer.